THE MICHIGAN DAILY

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THE MICHIGAN DAILY
Official Publication of the Surhmer Session
&NA ROUNDU

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SC'RE'EN

THEI TOWN..)
By RUSSELL F. ANDERSON
Last night found us sitting at the local bastille
. . waiting for news.. .when.. . in comes a tramp
.. and asks for lodging for the night . . . after a
few formal and meaningless questions the deputy-
sheriff said it would be all right for him to stay
. . . when it came time to fill the register he put
down the name of John Smith .. . "C'mon, wise
guy, let's have the real name" was the order of the
turnkey . . . a sort of twinkle came in the old
tramp's eye ... "Well," he said, "put me down as
Alexander Woolcott" . . . "That's better" . . . said
the deputy, and turning to us with a triumphant
tone in his voice ... "they don't bluff me with that
Smith stuff" . . . we smiled . . .and gave the wan-
derer credit for a real sense of humor . . . BUT -. .
after talking to him a bit . . . before he retired to his
boudoir . .. we're convinced that his name WAS
Woolcott.
An assignment took us to the Chemistry building
yesterday . . . posted on the bulletin board near
the main entrance we stumbled on two notices of a
scientific nature ... which interested us.. .number
one informed us that there is two cents' worth of
precious metal in every can of ashes, and alcohol
in the brain of every teetotaller. .. all we can say
is ... UNFORTUNATELY . .. there is no prac-
tical way to avoid this tragic waste ... item number
two explained how the skin of the human palm is
seventy-six times as thick as that of an eyelid .. .
nevertheless . . . from eating around campus res-
taurants we have learned that the palm is so sen-
sitive that the touch of a piece of paper (the size
of a treasury note) ... will cause the waiter's hand
to clutch convulsively!
* * * *
While entering the court-house we noticed that
they're putting a new lock in the door . . . we
think they'd do a lot better if they would just build
a new court-house around that lock .. .and inci-
dentally . .. while talking with the court stenog-
rapher, Mrs. Smith, ... she informed us that Sat-
urday was the first day in many, many moons that
there has not been a divorce case in court . . .
_while glancing over the regular term docket we
espied the name of Scanajavintakowalskitab . .
we're going to look that bird up! ... we need men
like that for Coach Kipke . . . anybody with a
name like that is a dead-ringer for the Varsity.
And now ... before leaving ... we have a bit of
information for the philatelic-minded philatelists
who abound this campus ... Joseph F. Buck ...
one of the country's best specialists in World War
covers . . . is in the University Hospital . . . 7th
floor . .. he tells us . . . that he'll gladly talk with
any one who has like interests . . . Buck, whose
name goes down in newspaper annals as an editor
of the very best, was formerly connected with the
United States Consul Service.

Four stars - shouldn't miss; three stars -
very good; two stars ---an average picture; one
star - poor; no star--don't go.
AT THE MAJESTIC
***MINUS "CURLY TOP"
A Fox picture starring Shirley Temple, with
John Boles, Rochelle Hudson, and a capable group
of supporters. Also an Our Gang Comedy, an
Happy iarmony color cartoon, a color short, "Pop-
ular Science," and a Hearst newsreel.
The theaters are smelling like sunshine, angel
cake, and roses again for the cinemagoer is get-
ting another big load of Shirley Temple in "Curly
Top."
Badly in need of another story like "Little Miss
Marker;" Shirley is doing her darned best to hold
up pasteboard plots, which are designed to do
nothing more than show off Shirley Temple and
pound into the head of the public that she is just
the cutest thing in the world. Not even as good
an actress as she can get by forever on the same
act. Page Damon Runyon!
Whooping things up mildly in the Lakeside.
Orphanage, Shirley is so daintily naughty when
rich trustee John Boles arrives for the directors'
meeting that he adopts her, and takes along
rnoony-eyed Rochelle Hudson, her big sister, too.
You can guess the rest.
New Temple tricks: dancing the hula, dressing
up like a grandmother and taking her pony to bed.
Old ones: Riding piggy-back, praying, and inno-
cently arranging a love-match.
High spots are Shirley's dances. She sings a
couple of not-so-good songs about animal crackers
and growing up. John Boles has two songs and
Rochelle Hudson one.
You can't be bored with Shirley Temple, but you
can't help wishing that everything weren't so idyl-
lically beautiful, either.
A Gold Seal, Blue Ribbon program of short sub-
jects is quite the best of the summer. There's
a good Our Gang Comedy, a fascinating short
about unbelievable kitchen appliances, and a car-
toon about a calico dragon which is right up in
there with the Silly Symphonies of Walt Disney.
-R.A.C.

Chute Jumping
Proves Popular
In Soviet State
Order Of 1,000 Towers
Is Found Nee=sary By
Russian People
MOSCOW, July 27. ---Wes; - Para-
chute jumping has become such a
popular sport in the Soviet Union
that it has been found necessary to
rush construction of 1,000 new tow-
ers from which leaps can be made.
The largest of these 360 feet high,
will be erected at Leningrad. It will
have five platforms for jumps from
diff 'rent heights ranging upward
from 80 feet.
If properly supervised, parachute
jumping should be a safe form of di-
version, the government maintains.
Three air club officials were recently

sent to ' trial. for permitting jumps
under dangerous conditions.
Jumping edges of' the Leningrad
towed will be made to resemble the
interiors of airplanes so that the l
jumpers will have the sensation of
leaping from machines. ,The tower
will also serve as a mooring mast for
dirigibles.
Many of the new towers will be

exclusively for the use of people
making their first jumps. These tow-
ers will, be only 80 feet high. Th'e
parachutes will be attached to the top
of the tower by ropes on pulleys
so that the jumper can be let down
safely in case the 'chute folds.
The other towers will be about 200
feet in height and will be used for
jumps with the ordinary parachute.

MICHIGAN of the
2 cMATINEES /SUMMER!
alcony Evenings
35c Main Floor Evenings

omftw ns

i, I

Today, Monday, Tuesday -
JAMES CAGNEY
"G-M EN"
-- plus --
PATRICIA ELLIS
"A NIGHT AT THE
RITZ"
Sundays and Week Days -
15c until 6, 25c after6
MAJESTIC
25c TODAY UNTIL 2 P.M.
35c After 2

A Washington
BYSTANDER
By KIRKE SIMPSON
WASHINGTON -If Senator William E. Borah
is still young enough for normal human reac
tions, the acclaim from conservative quarters he is
enjoying just now might easily sway him to go
out after the Republican presidential nomination
next year.
Borah in defense of the political independence
of the Supreme Court - Borah on the "fiction"
that the government can do no wrong - Borah on
this and Borah on that - the headlines are full
of the Idahoan and his views. He would be less
than human not to feel that perhaps Destiny,
at last, is singling him out for political man-of-the-
hour honors.
MIGHT FARE WORSE
1T CAN be argued as a matter of political expedi-
ency that the Republicans might go farther and
fare worse. Who else, untainted by party bolts in
presidential years, could so appeal to the Repub-
lican irregulars and their Progressive and Farmer-
Labor allies of the Senate minority side?
Assuming, as all political dopesters of record do,
that the election battle ground will be the farm-
belt west, who else on the Republican side from
that area so dominates the Congressional picture
in the news? And what other Republican west-
erner presenting the Borah appeal to western party
liberalism at the same time talks of the sanctity
of government contracts, of the traditional con-
ceptions of the constitution and of many other
things in language so pleasing to the ear of east-
ern conservatives?
* * * *
BORAH THE LIBERAL
CYNICAL DEMOCRATS insist that discounting
probability of Borah's nomination because of
his age or of his anti-monopoly theme song is
foolish. They have said all along he might be
Roosevelt's opponent in 1936. The trouble is that
they start with the premise that Mr. lioosevelt's
election is already assured. They hold that all
the Republicans can hope to do is to lay a ground
work of party harmony, designed to recall 1932
Roosevelt-Republican defectionists to the fold in
1940.
In other words, their contention is that Borah
might be a very desirable candidate from the
conservative Republican point of view if they do
not expect or hope to win in '36. They laugh at
the prospects of a Borah ticket if the chances of
Republican victory next year should brighten im-
pressively before convention time.
In that event, they say, Borah the liberal would
blot Borah the constitutionalist out of the picture
for regular Republican leadership. Borah's rec-

The SOAP BOX
Letters published in this column should not be
construed as expressing the editorial opinion of The
Daily. Anonymous contributions will be disregarded.
The names of communicants will, however, be regarded
as confidential upon request. Contributors are asked
to be brief, the editor reserving the right to condense
all letters of over 300 words and to accept or reject
letters upon the criteria of general editorial importance
and interest to the campus.
An Incomplete Report
To the Editor:
Your report from Kalamazoo in today's paper is
incomplete.
Due to fever I was not able to fill the three en-
gagements in Kalamazoo at which I was expected
to present motion pictures as well as lecture. So
as not to entirely disappoint the sponsors of these
meetings it was necessary to at least show the films
and I therefore sent my son who has learned to
operate my projector. Thus once again the ad-
vantages of the cinema were demonstrated: it does
not get tired, lose its inspiration, or get fever; the
motion picture projector is the "thought machine
gun" which shoots rays of light into the Power of
Darkness - eliminating ignorance and prejudice.
I owe thanks to Dr. Blakeman as well as to Prof.
Morris and his family for assistance in the dilemma
in which my sudden illness placed me.
-Francis S. Onderdonk.
Screens To Save Screams
To The Editor:
I wonder why a few dimes of the University ap-
propriation of millions of dollars is not applied
toward combatting that damnable summer pest
the fly!
The lower study hall of the general library (I
don't know how the rest of it is) is infested with
the insects, making comprehensive study an im-
possibility. For one like myself, who has to per-
form all his work in a specified reading room, this
summer session is being made very unpleasant -
and not worthwhile.
There are no screens on the open windows, nor
is there fly paper to protect one against the in-
vaders. The diabolical pests crawl in one's ears
and along the sensitive lips. I, for one, am not
quick enough to kill the things, and when I try,
I find myself attacked by greater numbers of the
demons.
Surely such a nuisance, which can be remedied
so easily, will be properly attended to.
-D.I.C.
Efficiency Expert Needed
To the Editor:
It would greatly alleviate sensitivity to an
injury which was inflicted by a professor in the
literary school if you would publish this letter. But
wait a moment, Mr. Editor, I'll mask my own feel-
ings of animosity and try to make this letter of
more universal significance.
A test is my spot of aggravation, one that I
am convinced is grossly misplaced. An examina-
tion in any school where the teacher tries to be
fair is a measure of efficiency. Moreover, these
tests are subdivided into two large classes - sub-
jective and objective. If you want a definition of
these, look in the dictionary - I haven't one. Any-
way, the test was subjective; it was composed of
five questions, each one having two parts. Accord-
ing to my mathematics, that leaves six minutes
for each question. But that's fine! A test should
have more in it than time allotted - but not a sub-
jective test with ten diagrams and time out for the
identification of five slides, each shown three times
T.... ... z . ...... h A tr.i'onon hp ann. Ilin ci ',,'ofnlPfi..

SHE S INGS! 
SHE DANCES !
SHE BRIGHTENS EVERY
HEART WITH HER
LAUGHTER!
Her Happiest
Picture -

I

mm m
JOHN BOLES
ROCIELE HUDSON
JANE DARWELL
Our Gang Comedy, News & Cartoon

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Lydia MENDELSSOHN Theatre
OPE NING WEDNESDAY
DOUBLE BILL
SirJames M. Barrie's Moliere's Satire
on the
Mystery Satire Medical Profession
"Shall We "The Doctor
Joi The Inpiteo
Ladies?" T Himself"
Wednesday, Thursday, Friday & Saturday
Admission 75c, 50c, 35c Phone 6300
Next Week: "T HE C HOCOLAT E SOLDIER"
x1


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