-4 . r;-4. - 1 -, -
THE MICHIGAN DAILY
SundayApril 29, 1956
THE MICHIGAN DAILT
Perhaps a Little Too Hones
DURING OFF-SEASON CALM, A FRANK LOOK AT A FOOTBALL C
University Social Life In All Its Categorical Glory
EDITOR'S NOTE: This Is another
fnthe Magazine Section's series of
explorations into campus institutions
-explorations variously referred to as
penetrating" (by the author) or "pre-
posterous" (by his friends). After
having somewhat illuminated the
matters of campus leaders and co-
eds, we, now turn to several classical
variations of the campus date.
By ERNEST THEODOSSIN
FOR the benefit of those who
have difficulty in categorizing,
a very necessary modern process,
and who find it impossible to view
their social life objectively, we
here present a step-by-step deline-
ation and analysis of six classic+
A classic University date is an
event never to be forgotten. A
classic University date is to a Uni-
versity student what a triple-deck
ice cream cone is to a six year old:'
an experience to be relived, boasted
about, and retained in one's mem-
ory as a touch of life's beauty.
* * *
THE COFFEE DATE. This meet-
ing is held to convey and receive
information. Male and female us-
ually exchange important Univer-
sity statistics, such as year, major,
place of residence, affiliation or
Conversation is generally abstract
and impersonal. Neither .shows
much enthusiasm about the other,
and yet, to be totally blase is to
defeat the most important func-
tion of the event. Above all, mu-'
tual compatibility must be estab-
lished, for if the couple have
nothing in common, there is no
use progressing any further.
Typical discussion observed in
the League Cafeteria:
HE: "Have you had Litzen-
schwartz's 16th century prose
SHE: "I took it last semester."
SHE: "Well yes, but then he
was very good on Lodge."
HE: "Yes, he did a fine job on
The emphasis here is on saying
nothing which can be held against
you later. Many women, deter-
mined to preserve their indepen-
dence, will even insist on paying
for their own coffee.
THE MASS COMMUNICATION
DATE. This is by far the most
popular "real" date and always
includes either the movies, theater,
or, for the more cultural who have
completed Music Lit 41, a concert,
Dress depends on the familiarity
the couple possess. Heels and hose,
and tie and sport coat, are neces-
sary for the first time; later, these
superfluous social requirements are
foregone in favor of regular cloth-
ing that brings with it an intimacy
which grows until khakis and ber-
muda shorts are not only permiss-
able, but necessary.
The audience participation ex-
perience is followed by a jaunt to
a little coffee shop with booths.
To show that they are not un-
known on campus, it is required
that the couple, while seeking an,
unoccupied booth, utter to all they
know such exclamations as "Hi,
there!" "Hi, Bob!" "Janeeeeee!"
each accompanied by a smile.
By ALAN EISENBERG
Associate Sports Editor
T HE motion picture industry, in
its few shallow attempts to get
the inside story of big time foot-
ball, hasronlystrengthened the
public's erroneous impressions.
Hollywood has depicted the head
coach at a large institution of
higher learning where football is
the major interest of students,
faculty, administration, towns-
people, and alumni. The coach is a
fast talking, fast thinking charac-
ter with a ready tooth-paste smile.
He is slim and good looking, re-
spected but not liked. We, usually
find a man with a rough exterior
-but who is as soft as jelly under-
neath. Most important, perhaps, is
that the coach of the cinema must
be unscrupulous; he will do any-
thing to win the "big game."
AND no doubt some of what the
public thinks and some of what
Hollywood creates is true. Football,
at Michigan and many other
places, is big business. Winning
teams must be turned out, and
the recruiting of the top high
school players has become a deli-
cate art. H. O. "Fritz" Crisler, the
University's Athletic Director and
past coach, has been described as a
man with few friends.
At many other schools the ad-
ministration will go to any length
to procure a winning team. It is
known, for example, that coaches
have given boys scholarships even
if they know the players cannot fit
W E went up to his cffice some
time ago, just a few days be-
fore spring practrce opened. A pile
of papers cluttered up his desk
and he looked like he had been
poring over them for a couple of
hours. A conversation was soon
begun about the fact that a coach's
job is a year-round proposition.
Despite his problems he was
smiling ebulliently. We asked why
he was so happy. He thought for
only a second, his grin widened a
bit . "I guess it's because you can't
lose football games in the spring,"
he commented ruefully.
HIS COMMENT made us think
of last year's defeat to Ohio
State. There was much connected
with the bitter loss for which
Michigan should be ashamed. But
the manner in which Oosterbaan
conducted himself after the game
was indeed noteworthy. He took
the loss like a gentleman. Report-
ers crowded around him in the
dressing room asking questions. He
answered them all honestly, never
was he curt.
The coach commented at one
point that "it's the nature of the
game. You have joys and sorrows.
I have had my share of both-and
I can expect the same in the
future. Some have to win and some
have to lose."
ceptance of defeat was outlined!
even more sharply when we
thought about how other coaches
had accepted a loss. We remem-
bered Iowa's Forest Evashevski's
bitter replies, Murry Warmath's
antagonism, Woody Hayes' crude
THERE has been much debate
about Oosterbaan's ability to
coach. A recent letter to The Daily
observed that Michigan's 1955
team lacked precision, imagina-
tion, and deception. Blaming this
lack on bad coaching the letter
concluded with: "Barring a revo-
lutionary change in coaching
-Cartoons by David Rohn
His simple and philosophical ac- meth
HE: "He wasn't too bad, was
SHE: "Well, I like his approach
-you know; he's the most won-
HE: "Well, I don't like the way
he did Deloney."
ON THE CAMPUS
FOR OVER A QUARTER
OF A CENTURY.
MASS COMMUNICATION DATE
Conversation in the booth is less
abstract than during the coffee
date. On a first mass communica-
tion date, sex and marriage are
pertinent topics for discussion, al-
though forecful statements are not
at all in order.
SHE: "Greta Lotz is getting
married. You know Greta don't
HE: "The name sounds familiar,
but I can't place her."
SHE: "She's a 'sister' of Arlene
Friedman's. You know, short dark
hair. She wears a trenchcoat."
HE: "Oh, yeah."
SHE: "I think she's really very
HE: "Don't you believe in mar-
SHE: "Well, every woman wants
to get married eventually. But
Greta's only 20. I think she's wast-
ing her talent. You know she's
getting an ed school certificate
and she really ought to teach a
tops in spring wear
.. also . .
-<>.- © _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _-_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
oA LOREDBERMUDA SHORX-
d loe^emd4Sot n olru ni Mda pr
0 :piaWrsdndaMds tinCtoA
W ar Fabro1s
0Rff.. 'MPOR T
0,I TkNVRST N R,
0 > I < 0=x=<-
0'F eM~ 'G
> y ^ t: xtf0 itL".l.
o TAILORED BERMUDA SHORTS
jj AND INDIA MADRAS SHIRTS
We have an unusually comprehensive selection of trim)
lored Bermuda Shorts and colorful India Madras Sport S
Included in this fine selection are women's Bermuda Sho
tropical worsted, India Madras, Egyptian Cottons and Was
O Wear Fabrics.
0 A /om. $8.50
(jTAILORS CLOTHIERS FURNIS
FORMAL FUNCTION DATE
few years before she settles down."
HE: "Well, she can still teach
after she's married."
Later, the conversation usually
gets around to sex:
HE: "Well, sex is a very im-
portant part of marriage."
SHE: "But it's not everything."
HE: "Yes, that's true. But it's
still very important."
SHE: "Well, yes it is. But you
gotta have more than sex."
HE: "Well, you've gotta love
your husband or wife. But sex
is very important."
At 12:15 the couple depart and
walk slowly toward the hill. Once
at the young lady's dorm, they
may, if they have strong feelings
toward each other, engage in that
nh ------- a1n --" alric
into the team's offensive pattern.
The reason? So no other school
which they might help can get
But it is because of people like
Bennie Oosterbaan, who violate
the stereotype, that Michigan has
gained the reputation she wears so
proudly. He is a coach who points
with pride to the better than 90 %
of'his players who graduate, and
of the many who enter the pro-
fessional world. He is a coach per-
haps a little too honest, perhaps a
little too sincere.
In the 30 years Oosterbaan has
been connected with the Univer-
sity, from the time he was an ath-
letic great to his present position,
he has always made Michigan
proud. These are strong words to
use about a man who will probably
not impress you the first time you
His clothes are baggy and wrink-
led. The ten-gallon hat is worn at
a rakish angle and looks a bit out
of place. He no longer has the
frame which one associates with
athletes; his stomach has begun
to peek out from beneath his belt.
And when his hat is off his grey,
thinning hair is usually uncombed.
Michigan's Head Coach has a
warm and friendly personality; his
office door is always .open, a wide-
open invitation to visitors.
humor-a "must" ingredient in the
SAFFEL & BUSH
TICK & WREN CAfl1/
1107 South University- Across from Ann Arbor Bank
S 9 A.M. to 5:30 P.M.