THE MICHIGAN DAILY

TUESDAY. FEBRUARY I4.1998

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Y.R.'s Schedule Martin,
Y.D. Debate In Program

~ELRUINES&EDS

MICHIGAN
UNION
STUDENT
ACTIVITIES
OFFICE

The Young Republican Club
will open the second semester's
activities with an address by John
B. Martin, Jr., on February 23,
speaking on "Republican Pros-
pects in 1956."
Martin, former Auditor General
of the State of Michigan, is now
a member of the Steering Com-
mittee of the Republican 1956
Campaign Committee and has the
reputation of being one of Michi-
gan's most capable vote getters.
This talk will be preceded by a
dinner in Martin's honor. The
speaker last appeared here , two
years ago when he participated in
a Bipartisan Day program.

Later in the semester, a panel
discussion with the Washtenaw
Labor Committee will feature Ho-
mer Martin, founding president of
the U.A.W.
A highlight on the activities
schedule is a debate planned with
the Young Democrats. The date
and topic for the debate have not
been set.
Another panel will center about
a faculty discussion of "Conserva-
tism, Liberalism, and Egg-head-
ism." Meetings with Detroit Mayor
Albert Cobo, possible gubernator-
ial candidate, and Postmaster
General Arthur E. Summerfield,
are planned. The YR's also hope
to have a prominent member of
the Eisenhower administration
visit Ann Arbor.

MICHIGAN DAILY
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING
RATES
LINES 1 DAY 3 DAYS 6 DAYS
2 .66 1.47 2.15
3 .77 1.95 3.23
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Figure 5 average words to a line.
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11:00 A.M. Saturday
Phone NO 2-3241
LOST AND FOUND
LOST-Pair of Black Rimmed glasses
in black, leather case. Phone NO 3-
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WOULD THE OWNER wool scarf left
in Wuerth Theater Sunday nite call
Mal Walker, 208 Wenley, W. Q. )117A

BOARDERS
BOARDERS WANTED - Good food.
Reasonable rates. Call Art Cieslak,
NO 2-9431. )11
ROOM AND BOARD
FOR MEN. One upperclassman or
grad. 2-6422. Mr. Wertz. )8E
BUSINESS SERVICES
ALTERATIONS. Ladies garments. Call
2-2678. Prompt service. )32J
WANT TO DO student typing in my
home. Phone NO 5-1701. )29J
RICHARD MADDY - VIOLINMAKER.
Fine, old certified instruments and
bows. 310 S. State. NO 2-5962. )31J
HELP WANTED

USED CARS
BUY WITH CONFIDENCE-Fully re-
conditioned used cars. 1953 Mercury
Tudor, Mercomatic, radio and heater,
$1095; 1951 Mercury Tudor, overdrive,
$575; 1955 Ford Tudor, 8 cylinder Ford-
omatic, $1595; .1953 Chrysler Newport
Hardtop Coupe at $1345. See us now.
Fitzgerald Inc., Lincoln-Mercury, 3345
Washtenaw, NO 3-4197. )112N
1948 PLYMOURTH - Good condition.
Best offer. Call Mr. Kelso, NO 3-1123.
j)111N
CARS FOR RENT
AVIS rent-a-car or truck for local or
long distance use. Reasonable daily.
weekly, or hourly rates. Nye Motor
Sales, Inc., 210 W. Washington St.,
NO 3-4156. )108

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Gransmire, the plaintiff in this celebrated case,,lived with his
daughter Ernest and a canary named Whirlaway on Elm Street
in Cooch, Delaware. The Middle Atlantic Bus and Dray Co.
started operating a bus line on Elm Street. The passing buses
caused a, cut-glass chandelier in the Gransmires' living room
to begin tinkling. The chandelier tinkled in the key of E-flat.
This so unnerved the canary, Whirlaway, whose key was C-
sharp, that the poor bird moulted out of season, caught a chill,
and :died untimely.
Ernest, Gransmire's daughter, was herself so unsettled by
the death of the canary that she flunked her final exams at the
Boar's Head Beauty and Barber College, where she had been a
promising student, majoring in bangs. Now removed, willy-
nilly, from the skilled labor market, Ernest found work carry-
ing a sandwich sign for the old Vienna Chow Mein parlor.

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Here she met a bus-boy named Crunch Sigafoos. Although
Crunch was not especially attractive - he had, for one thing, a
large bushy tail - he was always clean and neat and kept his
shoes shined, and after a decent interval, he and Ernest were
married.
Ernest soon learned that Crunch's large -bushy tail was not
as anomalous as she had supposed: Crunch was a werewolf.
After a while Ernest got sick of staying home at night while
her husband went prowling about, so she asked him to change
her into a werewolf too, which he did with an ancient Transyl-
vanian incantation. Then, together, the two of them would
lope out each night and meet a lot of other werewolves and
maybe kill a few chickens or hear some book reports or just
lay around and shoot the breeze.
Mearnjhile, Ernest and Crunch's landlady, a miser named
Mrs. Augenblick, noticed that Ernest and Crunch never used
their room at night, so she, in her greed, started renting it to
transients. One night a Mr. Ffolliett stayed there. In the morn-
ing while brushing his hair, he took a bottle that looked like
hair tonic out of the cabinet, poured some, and rubbed it
vigorously into his scalp. Unfortunately, it was not hair tonic,
but a bottle of glue which Ernest had bought to mend a model
airplane that Crunch had given her for their paper wedding
anniversary.
As a result of Mr. Ffolliett's grisly error, he was unable
to remove his hat and was, therefore,'barred from his usual
occupation which was lecturing to women's clubs. He sued Mrs.
Augenblick, who sued Ernest, who went to-her father, who sued
the Middle Atlantic Bus and Dray Co. who had started the whole
horrid chain of events.
"Ladies and gentlemen," said the defense attorney in his
opening address, "this case, though very ramified, is covered
by law. Indeed, every facet of life is covered by law. Law
governs the homes you live in, the cars you drive, the food you
eat. Even the cigarette you smoke is strictly regulated. The
gentleness, however, is Philip Morris's own idea. Out of their
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Wednesday
4:15
Room 3L
7:15
Room 3B

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