Page Eighteen

T HE M IC H IG AN D A ILY

M d.A^. Fnkr.- 7 1aZ

mona y, reuruory I, 1955


Support the
March of Dimes
FINGERLE LUMBER COMPANY
Support the
March of Dimes
THE LEWIS & FRISINGER CO.

Hark ye v
Clad in s
armou
Gazing ou
Altruists,
Turning r
Toward tI
assem
Pointed sl
Of the Big

Narcissists:
vision in the mirror,
elf-wrought, self-hewn Marching Phalanx, each one
sr, bearing
z, Spear and mirror in his hand,
it, not gazing down on, Waving spear and gazing deeply
and self-effacers. Into eyes of inspiration,
right, and never left, Glassy eyes that cry our motto:
he plain where spears "Mirror, mirror on the tower
ble Give us influence and power,
kyward, to the obelisk Over those who squirm and cower
Brother; 'Neath the trees in Nichol's bower;
Give us strength to grit and glower
LARCH OF DIMES At fools who claim that witch is
ours;
And turn primitive war-whoops
sour.
This must be our finest hour?"
So called: Pat-em-on-the-back
Louse, Smirking Sphyl Twig, Mealy
Mouth Batty, Like-em-when-they-
re on top Khoward, Bias-mongst-
the-cobwebs Leopard, Last-of-the
Mohicans Simoniac, Drivvel-Drop-
per Simperton, Operation Give-
Away Lavvy, Up-Against-a-Tro-
phy Beer, Pilot-'em-Lucky-Ship
Teiger, Wampum-Spender Kool,
Innocence-A-Quad Belker, Cam-
pus-Byword Nero.
Is -NFT7H-E=CA-M-PU1S

TO and TOI

or
for all courses
ULRICHtS
549 East University

NEARLY
EVERYONE
trades at
UNIVERSITY DRUG
1225 South 'U.'
JOIN THE
MARCH OF DIMES

Plans Made
To Evacuate
U.S. in War
In a special bulletin released
late last night in Washington, The
Department of Public Welfare re-
vealed a mass evacuation plan to
be used in the event of atomic at-
tack upon this country.
Hi. 0. "Butch' Caddilac, Chair-
man of the Department of Public
Welfare and spokesman for the
group announced the plan.
According to Caddilac, a huge
resort camp has been secretly con-
structed in Northern Siberia. This
camp, capable of comfortably
housing 150,000,000 people is a mo-
dern day Utopia.
High Temperature
Outdoor temperature remains at
at a constant 75 degrees permit-
ting year-round rope skipping and
other outdoor activities.
In outlining transportatio and
supply plans to be used in the
event of any mass evacuation,
Caddilac revealed that, after ato-
mic attack, any U.S. citizens not
under investigation by any Con-
gressional committee should re-
port immediately to Fisherman's
Wharf, San Francisco.
'How To Evacuate
Transportation will be provided
by the Yale Crew, The University
of Michigan Sailing Club, and
two banana boats from the Iowa
Navy. Box lunches for the voyage
will be provided by the University
of Michigan Dormitory kitchens.
Caddilac reported that construc-
tion of this welfare camp has been
the best kept secret of the new
Administration. The site in Nor-
thern Siberia was selected because
it would obviously be the last lace
the Soviets would expect to'find
emigrant Americans.
Scouts Aid Cause
Construction labor crews were
made up of hand-picked and care-
fully selected Boy Scouts. They
were whisked-off, with picks hid-
den in theiir knap-sacks, chant-
ing, "Beat Ohio."
"Actually," said Caddilac, "the
plan is very practical. After all,
if this nation is leveled by atomic
attack, citizens will need a place
to live. The Russians can have the
country because there won't be
anything left Our people would be
unruly subjects and cause under-
ground trouble, so we'll move them
all to Siberia."
VALENTINE
GIFTS
for THE ONEF
HANDKERCHIEFS
SILK SCARFS
WOOL SCARFS
JEWELRY CASES
SEWING KITS
EXQUISITE HANDMADE
.GUEST TOWELS
COCKTAIL NAPKINS
BRIDGE SETS
Have you seen all the new de-
signs by Tamis Keefe in hand-
kerchiefs, tea towels, and

place mat sets,
Where quality has
no substitute"
GAGE
LINEN SHOP
11 Nickels Arcade
pen Monday thru Saturday
9:00 to 5:30


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AT THE STUDENT PUBLICATIONS BLDG.
MONDAY THROUGH FRIDAY 8 TO 5.
PRICE $6.50.

I ,