Monday, February 9, 1953

THE MCHIGAN DAILY

Page Three

STU THSERICE T


Hip-Deep Prexy
Oan Top ofIHeap
Special To The Daily -
WASHINGTON-"I got to be the wheel I am by following the
fine, upstanding principles my old man learned me down on the
farm," Dr. John A. Humble said yesterday, with a straight face.
Humble is the new director of the Draft-All-Non-Agricultural-
Students Bureau and the former strawboss of Michigan College for
Bovines.
"What sort of studies would you recommend for a would-be
wheel?" the nosey Daily reporter asked.
"Something in the classical line-sort of intellectual, like,"
Humble mumbled.
"Such as chicken farming?" our man suggested.
"Yeah, something hard like that," he snapped
"ASIDE FROM your intellectual achievements in chicken farm-
ing, what else has led you to the prominent position you now
hold?" The Daily reporter asked<> a*
craftily.
"Just like all America's wheels,
I started at the bottom and
worked up the hard way," Hum-
ble declared and thumped him-¢
self on the chest. -
"From a poor little barefoot lad
lightly tiptoein gfrom one roost
to the next collecting eggs" - a
few misty tears began to patter
down on the mahogany desk and
he pulled a red bandanna from a
hip pocket of his tux.
"I worked up the hard climb
until I was stomping around with3
high rubber boots in the biggest
cow college in the nation," he
said.
"WHAT ABOUT your marrying LJ
the college president's daughter;
do you think that had anything to DR. JOHN A. HUMBLE
do with your success?" asked the From Farm to Fame
reporter. * *
gram contributed the most to this
"Nothing at all . . . nothing fact?" said our snooper.
at all," Humble said indifferent- a a a
ly, as he picked up the Chicago HUMBLE gasped a curse and a
Tribune and began thumbing small, slippery figure, his admin-
through the comic section. istrative assistant Jim Hatchet-
"Would you say that luck had man slipped out from behind the
anything to do with your rise to drapery,
fame?" The Daily snoop asked. "What did this guy say," Hat-
"Everything I've gotten has chetman rasped.
come through hard work," Hum-
ble droned reading from the stan- After several trips to the di-
dard guff supplied to all new ga- tionary and three requests that
ernmental appointees. the reporter repeat the ques-
"But what about the rumor that tion, the wily Hatchetman re-
you were sent the wrong letter of tired to a back room and a
appointment and should really be half-hour later emerged with a
an underling on the Hayseed Com- written statement from Humble.
mission?" our open-eared reporter "Thanks to the generous legis-
queried. lature of my state, the whole-
"Ridiculous," Humble bum- hearted support of the citizens of
bled. "Besides, I was talking to this great state, my university has
that chap from Cornell and he grown great," Humble read fal-
said he really wanted my job teringly.
anyway - I mean the job on "Thank you, Dr. Humble," our
the Hayseed Commission." man said-and he left, the spade-
"Your state college has shown work for a jim-dandy interview
considerable capital improvement finished.
during the last ten years. What
facets of your administrative pro-
Support the
March of Dimes
Q THE
Many people th
O DOWNTOWN Q Book Store car
GIFT SHOP.fJ NEERING books
a very huge sto
NEW BOOKS fo
U the Michigan Cc
the eeayPtch t Mhn
107 East Liberty p

" }L

By SAM STUDS
The famous hunk of horse-flesh
Man O'War will arrive on campus
March 1, Student Legislature
President G. Mennen (Soapy)
Willens announced yesterday, in
revealing plans for a new era of
service projects.
The legendary stallion will be
available to all student horse-
owners for the entire month of
March, Willens declared proudly.
FACULTY and administration
personnel will be allowed the use
of the potent racer the last five
days of his stay, he added.
This will be merely the un-
veiling of an ambitious series of
SL serviceaprojects, which will
bring to campus many famous
personalities in the animal
world. SL officials were report- STURDY STUD
ed in negotiation with Montana From Farm to Fame
stockmen for some top-grade
wooly Merino ewes.
UNION HEAD Dilly Gente was
Willens chuckled over the way enraged by the SL coup d' amour.
SL had finessed the Union bureau- "We've always given the students
cracy on the project. Union brass all the service they've wanted,
had the idea three years ago, he with plenty they don't want
admitted. But the six committees thrown in," he said plaintively,
they set up to investigate the pro- munching a 50 cent hamburger.
ject have been bogged down ever
since in dickerings with the King
Ranch for some longhorns.
Custodial Head
Canned by 'U'
John Q. Harton has been dis-
missed from his position as head
of the University's custodial force,
it was announced yesterday.
The penalty was imposed on
Harton after he was apprehend-
ed attempting to steal the Admin-
istration Building last week.
"Honesty is the best policy,"
commented University Vice-Con-
sul Jay Morgan Pierpont.
Harton was somewhat dazed
over his summary dismissal. He
declared wistfully that he had
"never even stolen a pencil."
-Meanwhile, an investigation of
alleged "irregularities" in the Uni-
versity Boy Scout chapter was re-
ported to be underway.
Sin Refuted
By Hamhock
"Those who do, do, and those
who don't don't," snickered Dean
of Affairs Deborah Hamhock as
she adjusted a garter by way of
opening yesterday's weekly press
conference.
Refuting alumnae charges that
University girls' morals are at an
all-time low, Dean Hamhock com-
mented "those old hens used to
have a pretty hot time when they
were here."
pp ''1111E N

Man O'War will arrive on
campus in a lead box car after
completing his present European
tour. Arrangements are almost
set for quartering in the well-
equipped stable on the top floor
of Southern Dormitory.
Peter A. Oxford, Residence Hall
mogul, promised that Man O'War
would be fed with egg-enriched
hay to ensure a good performance
during his stay.
THERE seemed to be some con-
troversy brewing over his stay in
the dormitory. Al Ferry, '65E&D,
Czar of the Inter-House and
Daisy-Picking Society, protested
that the horse would disturb the
quadders living in the stable.
However, Oxford pointed out
that they were already getting
two glasses of milk at dinner.
After all, this isn't the Waldorf-
Astoria, he added.
Appointments can be made at
the Student Legislature Castle,
half a block south of The Daily.
The Survey Dynamics Center
will study student attitudes to-
wards the new project, report back
what sort of service is needed and
wanted by the student body.
On the Campus
from
roast-to-coast it's ...

VANITY O'NITE .............$17.50
TRAIN CASE ...................$17.30
O'NITE (Regular) ............$19.50
O'NITE (Convertible) ......$22.50
LADIES' WARDROBE........$25.00
PULLMAN ........................$27.50
QUICK TRIPPER ................$19.50
TWO-SUITER ....................$25.00
JOURNEYER ....................$27.50
HAND WARDROBE.........$35.00'
'all prices pros existing toxes

:CTION

inlk that Ulrich's
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... Ulrich's carry
ck of USED and
r every course on
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