Pog/Eight

THENICHiCAN DAILY

_ ETTOS__NC REGENTS
By BEN ZIBN over the modern structure, the gram to assure the future sef
Terror stricken University Re- Board has suspended all further of the Unsversity.
gents rushed plans today for a meetings for the duration of the Stooging for the commltte
five year watch-and-ward vigil emergency, turning over its auth- t andy Scratcher (formen'.
over Haven Hall, following a dig- ority to a student-faculty-admin President of the Uiniversty)
covery by University legal advisors istration c.ommittee. cockily outlined his ambitis
that all eight Board members will group's plans; they include:
be hanged if the structure burns MEANWHILE, adding to the 1-Turnings all available Unf
down again. Regents' bundle of woe, from veisity legal counsel over to ti
The impending threat to the ~Southern Michigan Prison cametakoseungqikpr
The impending threat to the word yesterday that 'Safetyts fscrn uc ao
Boar'd was unearthed in a fine- Matches" Norbert, convicted of firebug Norbert.
print proviso of the 1951 Univer- touching off the original Haven 2--Periodic aerial spraylor
sity legislative appropriations act al a oeo bandpo Haven Hall with kerosene.
and reads as follows: Hlhdsmow btieph3-Erection of eight sturdy ge
- tographs of the new one. lows in front of the GeneralI
"Whereas, the Legislature, in -Prison officials, alarmed by brary.
sublime generosity, has seen fit fiendish laughter from Norbert's 4-Conversion of the Univers
to wring from the flesh of the cell, warn that he has been per- Ainto a mammoth House of ZB
good folk of this state funds log over the photos for weeks, pute.
sufficient unto the construction inking in entry points and com- , "With a little cooperatio e
of a new Haven Bali, and where- bustible materials. .Norbert," S ratcher chortled
as,- the ancient edifice formerly & R~gjj| E M Norbert is due for parole some-3 ably, "we should mane
known by that name was con- NORBEET time this year. well."
sumed in conflagration under * * *The Regents said they
the very noses of the Board of . . .bided his time THE REGENTS however are mystified at this turn of ev
Regents, then be it known that * * *keeping cool. Their spokesman,
the necks of those very same fire during the ensuing five Boscoe Heanofsteel, shrieked at
noses shall be forfeit should the years." reporters yesterday that "w-we're MiAfRIMI
new structure suffer mishap by Mounting round-the-clock guard t-t-taking ever-ry pre-pre-pre- BEANOFSTFL
suttn!" . . collected his thoughts
UeJ'Ob5& eg oa err 00eroG 04 0 C They are, too. Beginning to- dent-f aculty-administaton com-. NATLE
S day a new handbook of ,reguds- mittee has not been idle. In thePAAYS
tions governing conduct near urief interval since the crisis be-
the prized building was issued, atecmite a onee
SMUE HLIG &LANP HEA R duaits ke off allen cn __he____mmitte___has____un___ed
Sang key po ints ar: wthisownor-rnedpo
dut edn oHaven Hall. l
S Harclieare -Paints -Furnaces ' classrooms are to be fur-l1ned in- samasesesm.smmsaas
Sstead.
S 2-Installation of thermostat
SH EET META L WORKontoled rainmaking equipment O E G I
3--Prohibition of all petting or
HOUSE F UR NISH INGS i ove-life of any sort in the struo
ture or' its environs for 511 yards Fo h e r
Saround.
Sp rt the March of Dimes! 4--No smoking (to be enforced
~ppor ~ by the ROTC, equipped with water
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AT THE SAME time, the Sto-
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