Monday, February 12, 1951
T HE MIC H IGA N D A ILY
Page Nine
Bookeating Male Bites Lions' Plot Bursts
Way Through College As Expose Pricks
Bubble Swindle
The sensational human bookworm case, unparalleled in the annals of University After months of super-sleuthing The Daily has uncovered a
crime, entered the second day today with a herbivorous botany teaching fellow in police crafty extortion plot which has been literally stealing food from the
mouths of benevolent University students and Ann Arbor residents.
custody while worried local bibliophiles checked their personal libraries for ravaged volumes. Not shrinking one iota from its duty of protecting its naive and
Heinz Klogg, under police guard in the Health Service where he is confined with unsuspecting readers The Daily has revealed the plan of the Ann
a case of acute indigestion, steadfastly refused to admit that he had gulped down more Arbor Lions Club to collect pennies for candy gum balls under the
pretense that the money would be used for crippled children.
than $50,000 worth of books from the General Library over a two-year period. *a * *
* * o * * * THE DAILY INVESTIGATION led by fearless Crave Grippon
KLOGG WAS arrested yester- "found that the money WAS being used for the crippled children,
day after an alert library assist- al es Fail but that the candy gum balls were of inferior quality and that the
ant discovered a 24-foot-high M ales donors were not getting the value received for their penny.
stack of gutted book covers deepAis
In the stacks of the General Li- 1Although it is not definitely established that the local
brary. Local police picked up o Slap Dil ring may be mixed up with the national Lions organization,
Klogg for questioning on a tip S o Grippon has his suspections.
from Greta Barkson, demure chi Unauthorized shouts of "stop the GRiPON explained how the Grippon claims that he be
ropractor's assistant, whose name press" by haggard red-faced males vicious racket worked in the fol- lieved Lion to really be a lyin'
had previously been linked to that rang through the Publications lowing manner: "You see, the when he questioned one gentle.
of Klogg. Building last night as this sheet gum machines are placed in stra- man about the matter. Grippon
Police apprehended Klogg in was being run off. tegic positions in all the local found the Lion in his basement,
the periodical room of the li- "You got to stop the press and stores. When you have received working over his false teeth
brary just at noon. He was de- change the name of my date, I M. your change from a transaction, which were locked in a vice on
vouring a copy of the Wall Atootimer pleaded from his lowly your hand is full of pennies and the work bench.
Street Journal when captured, position. the machine is handy. Grippon observed that the Lion
police said. His attack of indi-
gesi.followed alttk imed- "You've got to do something. "Unsuspectingly you decide to was picking bits of old gum from
gestion followed almost immed- I'll pay anything, but please don't spend a penny and help some among the molars with a golf
iately and "he folded up in our expose me." crippled child, little realizing driver. The Lion explained that
hands just like a tabloid," of- As his pleas went unanswered the real shrewd and malicious he was "teed off with the whole
fiials said. Heinz Klogg, wearig pro- and the press continued to roll, intent, gum ball affair."
(Local crime enthusiasts may tective mask during police Atootimer broke away from the--
remember Klogg as the principle questioning.*, , two pressmen who were restrain- __
suspect in the Tappan Oak case Laing him and made his way to the
last Spring. He was subsequently argo gaps have been found in mounting pile of papers coming
released after the destruction of the rare book stacks and in other off the press.
the heroic campus landmark was sections containing volumes print- Digging through his pockets
definitely attributed to a campus ed on fine paper, librarians said. Atootimer was unable to find any
honorary) Local bookstores are erecting matches, but came up with an
*+** screens around their table dis- eraser.
KLOGG HAS steadfastly refus- plays and "No Nibbling" signs In the time it took him to re-
ed to admit his guilt, even when have begun to appear on the move his name from one copy,
offered a set of the Encyclopedia counters. 5,000 more copies were printed
Britannica as an enticement, po- Librarians have also unearthed that included his name.
lice said. a provocative disclosure which has Many people think that Ulrich's Book
Friends of the botanist ad- been turned over to psychologists * .t
mitted that the youthful scien. for study: the two sections which L an ; B egins
tist had his aberrations, but de- felt the teeth the hardest appear Store Carries only ENGINEERING
dared that the consumption of to be the Early Tudor Poetry col- Fla "Stint
such quantities of pulp was lection and Medieval Genetics
clearly beyond his physical section.-books . .. Ulrich's carry a very huge
powers. One said, however, that * " " Chester H. Laing, national
Klogg was short on funds and THE TEETH marks have been chairman of the Phoenix Project,
may have taken to a literary taken to the dentistry school for began an extended flag pole sit- stock of used and new books for every
diet to ease budgetary problems. possible identification of the bib- ting stint on the top of the Uni-
County Prosecutor O. F. Bleed- ziopaagics, and rumors that some versity flagpole this morning.
ing was clearly delighted with the resident diners have holed up in Declaring that he would not course on the Michigan campus.
case. "Oh boy," he told reporters, the library for the winter are be- come down again until the fund
"what luck this is. And just be- ing checked, librarians said. raising drive goes over the top,
fore election too." Early this morning General Li- the 58-year-old corporation exe-
"We'll send him to a place brary was closed until further no- cutive took a thermos bottle, a
where the only nourishment he tice, and larvae exterminators cushion and a sheaf of comic
can have is the Police Gazette," have begun to enter the stacks in books to the top of the pole.
Bleeding promised, platoons, organized to trap big He would not reveal what was u -Sl g
* * * game. in the thermos bottle. Buy and Sell T hrough Daily Classifieds
MEANWHILE, University li-'--------
brarians have warned book own-:::. ..,,,..,.. Em : ,...:..
ers to check their own libraries
as an investigation of the General
Library stacks has revealed that
perhaps more than one student is
eating his way through the Uni- h
versity at the expense of printed
knowledge. 6'
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