THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 1950

THE MICHIGAN DAILY

U

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ROOT OF ALL EVIL:
Glittermore Speaks to Crowd
On Steps of Bus. Ad. School

Glittermore Returns

Before a capacity crowd on the{
front steps and entrance way of
the business administration school,
Mr. Whittimore Glittermore, busi-
ness and mining tycoon, spoke in
his own inimitable way on the
topic of "Prudence and Virtue Pay
Off in Gold."
Sitting on the folded-back top
of his chauffeur-driven convert-
ible, and surrounded by the non-
marching Fijee Marching Band,
Glittermore made his triumphant
arrival. As. the strains of ."''My
Darlin' Clementine" blared down
MonWe Street, the successful
Michigan alumnus bowed to the
gathered throng.
"MY FRIEND$," he began, "al-
though I have tried to lead a clean
and upstanding life my huge suc-
cess is more than I deserve."
As the breathless crowd
stared fascinated at the famous
man, Glittermore slowly and de-
liberately puffed on his long
cigar.
"S .I look at your bright, smil-
ing faces," he continued, "it
brings back nostalgic memories of
my undergraduate days. Terror
of Tappan Hall, I was called."
* * *
"WHEN I WAS graduated, Cum,
Muchissimo Gratissimo, I had vi-
sions Of the fabulous wealth which
I was going to. accumulate," he
stated. "I'm here to tell you that
although I was successful as fi-
nancier and mine stock manipu-
TYPEWRITERS

lator, things don't usually work
that way."
Glittermore told of his exper-
iences in the cold world beyond
graduation, expressing his hope
that students would hear and
take heed.
Then, swinging into his main
topic concerning gold, Glittermore
asked the profound question,
"What is gold?" Answering his
own query he said, "It's an ob-
noxious metal that went out of
circulation in 1933. Therefore let's
not worry about it!"
* * *
"THE MOST important matter
at hand,'r stated the great man,
"is 'Capitalistic Capers', all cam-
pus dance at the League this Fri-
day evening. It is sponsored by the
business administration students
and thus is bound to be a tre-
mendous success."
After dispersing such words of
wisdom Glittermore mentioned
that. he had promised to re-
ward, both intellectually and
materially, all those who listened
to him speak.
Seeking to make up for his ex-
ploitation of the earth's treasures,
he pulled his entire fortune in
currency out and threw it to his
listeners.
Thus completing this public ap-
pearance, Glittermore drove off in
a cloud of exhaust fumes to the
tune of "Hail to the Victors."
Panhel Representatives
May Pick Up Tickets
Panhellenic representatives may
pick up the Panhel Ball tickets
for their respective houses from
1 to 5 p.m. today and tomorrow in
the Panhellenic Office of the
League.
Representatives from the fol-
lowing houses are to pick up their
tickets today: Alpha Chi Omega,
Alpha Delta Pi, Alpha Epsilon Phi,
Alpha Gamma Delta, Alpha Omi-
cron Pi, Alpha Phi, Alpha Xi
Delta, Chi Omega, Collegiate
Sorosis and Delta Delta Delta.

Dance Clinic
Will Be Held'
Ed Gilmore, who boasts the dis-
tinction of having taught over
5000 people to square dance, will
conduct a square dance clinic
firom 8 to 11 p.m. Tuesday, Nov.
14, in Waterman Gymnasium. I
Gilmore will call and teach suchI
hoedown favorites at the "YucaipaI
Twister" and the "Cow Counties
Allemande" at the clinic, which is1
being sponsored by the Depart-1
ment of Physical Education forI
Men. Both square and couple
dancing will be on the evening's
program.
A Southern Californian, Gilmore
assisted in the organization of the"
world's largest square dance festi-
val held last July in Santa Monica.
More than 15,000 dancers partici-
pated in this festival.
He has conducted square dance
clinics in eleven states. The "Cow
Counties Hoedown Association,"
with a membership of over 8000
dancers in California, was or-
ganized by Gilmore.
Phys. Ed. Departments
To Offer Varied Clubs
The Men's and Women's Physi-
cal Education Department is
jointly offering certain suitable
co-recreational activities to fulfill
physical education requirements.
This semester a co-recreational
square, folk, and social dance class
is offered at 7 p.m. on Tuesdays
and Thursdays under the direction
of Mrs. Valerie Moffett and Mr.
Newton Loken.
This program will be offered
next semester also.

Committee Functions To Be
Coeds May Designate Work

Explained;
Preference

JGP To Hold Meeting Today
For Interested Junior Women,

For

Skating Club
To Reorganize

All junior women-and Cathy1
Sotir, general chairman of JGP,1
hopes that "all" will be taken liter-
ally-will meet at 5 p.m. today in
the League Ballroom.
The purpose of this gathering is
to give the coeds an opportunity,
to sign up on their favorite com-
mittees to work on the forthcom-
ing Junior Girs' Play.
* * *
ALL COMMITTEES will be
open, and the girls will be request-
ed to designate their first three
choices so that personnel can be
divided equally.
Members of the dues commit-
tee, under the leadership of
chairman Johanna Leonard, will
begin work immediately, since
dues are to be collected during
this month.
JGP is an annual tradition,
written, produced, and directed by
junior women. An entirely original
production, the play will be pre-
sented in three performances next
March.
* * *
THE FIRST performance is at-
tended only by senior women, ap-
propriately garbed for the occa-
sion in their caps and gowns.
After Senior Dinner, the coeds
view the play with a critical eye,
ready to call for a repeat per-
\formance of any scene or act if
they so desire.
Seniors are then requested to
walk across the stage: married
coeds suck lemons, engaged women
carry candles, those who are

Semester

pinned wear pins, and the unat-
tached girls throw in pennies.
The central committee of JGP
will be introduced at the Mass
Meeting today.
Weddings&
Engagements
Kuzma-Paddock
Miss Ann Kuzma, daughter of
Mr. and Mrs. Steve Kuzma of Mi-
lan, and Bernard Paddock, son of
Mr. and Mrs. Varn D. Paddock,
also of Milan, exchanged marriage.
vows June 15 in Milan.
Mr. Paddock is a student at the
University.
* * *
Ferretti-Coughlin
Mrs. James J. Coughlin was Ada
Maria Ferretti before her mar-
riage June 12 in Ann Arbor.
The bride's parents are Mr. and
Mrs. Caesare Ferretti of Ann Ar-
bor, while Mr. Coughlin is the son
of Mr. and Mrs. Michael La Rocca
of New York City.
Mrs. Coughlin, a graduate of
the University, has been a'member
of the faculty of the Cleveland
School in Wayne.
The bridegroom attended Buf-
falo University and the Univer-
sity. He received his degree from
the Law School in August.

The WAA Ice Skating Club will
have an organizational meeting at
5 p.m. today in Barbour Gymna-
sium.
Miss Mary Frances Greschke
will again be the club's profession-
al teacher. Miss Greschke is a
Gold test skater and has been as-
sisting the club for five years.
The club's season will begin .in
the middle of November and last
until March. The members will
skate on the rink in the Coliseum.
More improvemnts have occurred .
since the rejuvenations of last
year.
The co-recreational club is open
to any interested, student, graduate
or undergraduate. Both beginners
and advanced skaters are eligible.
Instruction will be available for
both groups.
Figure eights, . spins, spirals,
jumps, and ice dances, such as
the Waltz and 14 Step will be
taught.
Plans for this year include some
parties off the ice. Members will
skate before several hockey games
including the Minnesota and
Michigan Tech games.
Manager of the club is Carole
Somer And Jeanette Scoville is
assistant manager.

-Daily--Jack Bergstrom
TRIUMPHANT RETURN .. , ..Whittimore Glittermore, famed
Michigan alumnus, noted in the fields of business and mining,
throws his entire fortune into the hands of spectators gathered
to hear his address.
Anita Loos Instructs Women
In Meanso0 Obtaining Minks

!-

University Wives Club
To Hold Square Dance
A square dance is being planned
by University Wives Club mem-
bers from 8:30 to 11:30 p.m. Sat-
urday at the University Conimuni-
ty Center, Willow Run.

,/
/

Rented
Sold
Bought
Repaired

G.!. Requisitions
Accepted on Supplies only
MORRILL'S
314 S. State Ph. 7177
fountain pens repaired

By LORRAINE BUTLER
Anita Loos, author of "Gentle-
men Prefer Blondes," gives some
intelligent advice to women who
want to persuade their gentlemen
friends to buy them a mink.
In Miss Loos' carefully laid
plan, the woman must first of all
provide the mian with a strong mo-
tivation for spending money.
* * *
THE WOMAN'S first step is to
make an engagement with her es-
cort to meet her in the lobby. Be-
fore going downstairs, she should
run cold water over her hands
until they are thoroughly chilled.
She must then proceed quickly
to the lobby, preferably in a
light-weight wrap, and shake
hands with the gentleman, and
at the same time shudder with
cold.
After this, according to Miss
Loos, the gentleman will suggest a
cocktail, to keep himself from
catching pneumonia. This gives
the woman an opening to voice
her opinion on the economy of a
mink.
ISS LOOS advises the woman
to point out the fact that a mink

coat is so practical because it is
suitable for every occasion.
Otherwise she would have to
buy a shaved racoon for foot-
ball, a beaver for shopping, a
sealskin for cocktails, and an
ermine wrap for formal affairs.
Miss Loos is certain that no
man can resist this kind of logic.
The last and very important
procedure is to get rid of the man,
keep his check book, and do the
shopping alone.
Correct Time
The time signal you hear on the
radio and by which you set your
watch is sent from the U.S. Naval
Observatory at Washington, D. C.
according to the Jewelry Indus-
try Council. Every two hours an
astronomical reading is taker
which gives the nation's time ..
accurate within one part of 3(
million.
Panhellenic Ball
Members of the central com-
mittee of Panhellenic Ball will
meetat 4 p.m. today in the Ann
Arbor room of the League.

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Lowell Thomas Jr. Tickets
on Sale Today!
"Inside Forbidden Tibet"

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CONCERTS
CLEVELAND ORCHESTRA
Sunday, November 5, 8:30
Dame MYRA HESS
Tuesday, November 14, 8:30

12 .,1I
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Colors: White, tea rose, turquoise
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Sizes 4 to 8.
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ROYAL PHILHARMONIC (sold out) ..........Dec. 3
MESSIAH
Sat, and Sun., Dec. 9 and 10
NANCY CARR..................Soprano
EUNICE ALBERTS ............Contralto
DAVID LLOYD .................Tenor
OSCAR NATZKA ................Bss
CHORAL UNION and ORCHESTRA
Mary Stubbins, Organist
LESTER McCOY, Conductorj
Tickets: 50c and 70c

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