t THE MICHIGAN DAILY

ROLLING STONES
...by Harold Jackson
Pipe Down ...
AVE TITTLE is wondering just what
kind of reputation for academic prowess
-or weakness-he's acquired in three se-
mesters on campus.
He was planted in the back of a rough
psychology course wearing the normal
look of opening-day apprehension when
through the door waltzed a coed of his
acquaintance.
In a much too loud voice she hailed him
thusly:
"Dave, I didn't know you were taking
this course-it must be a pipe,
Fields' Folly ...
NOT SINCE the last dean of women's
office's published interview on coed mor-
als has the campus enjoyed as many col-
lective belly-laughs as were provided by
the delightful duo of W. C. Fields movies
shown at Hill Auditorium this week-end.
But Mr. Fields has wrecked the movie
season for the entire campus.
Imagine trying to get excited about a
modern offering of mush and melody when
one can look back in his mind's eye and
see the red-nosed comic interrupt a Hol-
lywood soda-jerk about to swat a fly with:
"It's killers like you that give the West a
bad name."
Whiskers, Take Note ...
THE SOCIETY for the Encouragement of
New Jokes from Old Professors (SENJOB
for those awed by alphabets) met last night
in Yost Stadium with standing room only.
It was decided that by publishing in this
column jokes that have become painfully
annual affairs the Society could give the
entire campus a good laugh-or groan-
and inspire the Whiskers'in question to
renew his subscription to the New Yorker.
So, beginning at random-but inviting
contributions from any student, THESE
STONES would cite the philosophy prof. who
always tells his class of Ethics:
"Statistics show that of all the books
stolen from the Harvard Library-those on
Ethics are most often filched."
* * * *
Lemee Out...
ONCE A PERSON has become a Senior,
he usually develops a sarcastic immunity
to the frightening opening day preview of
work to come which professors childishly
expect will keep a class cowed for an entire
semester.
But even the greyest near-graduate in a
certain advanced literature course shud-
dered at the unbelievable pre-season de-
mands on students' time and intelligence
served up during one opening' session.
When the professor wound up his pre-
view with a request that the class briefly
scan and take "short notes" on every other
book in the general liibrary, a hand went
uii in the back of the room.
"Sir," a small voice quivered," I must be
lost. "Isn't this Freshman English?"
Editorials published in The Michigan Daily
are written by members of The Daily staff
and represent the views of the writers only.
NIGHT EDITOR: DAVE THOMAS
Re'velation
THE UN-AMERICAN Activities Committee
has treated us to another revelation, and
this seems no more valuable than its pre-

vious ones.
Now that the USSR has produced an
atomic explosion, the Committee has told us
the name of a scientist whom it accuses of
giving atomic secrets to Russia during the
war.
This kind of thing has been the main
business of the Committee since its incep-
tion. Fixing the blame for the real or fan-
cied national catastrophes, after they
have happened is the only way that Con-
gressional conservatives have found to
fight their opponents.
The fact that these tactics have had no
success has apparently taught them nothing.
Republicans and Southern Democrats still
-present the spectacle of men being rapidly
carried forward, by forces they do not un-
derstand, with their eyes riveted on territory
they have irrevocably left.
-Phil Dawson

End of a Myth

"W HAVE EVIDENCE that within recent
weeks an atomic explosion occurred in
the U.S.S.R."
With these cold, undramatic words Pres-
ident Truman quietly blasted what was
becoming a great American myth-the be-
lief that we could sit calmly back on our
atomic bomb and laugh at the repeated
clamorings of statesmen and scientists for
international atomic controls.
MATTER OF FACT:
Defense Plan
WASHINGTON - With rather desperate
haste, the chief American political and
strategic policy-makers are now working on
plans to deal with the new situation created
by "the atomic explosion somewhere in Rus-
sia." Their directive from President Tru-
man has been to evolve a program which
will provide genuine security for this coun-
try, regardless of other considerations.
* * * *
THE COUNTRY will shortly be presented
with a program entirely overshadowing
all our previous great measures to solve the
problem of Soviet imperialism.
The reasons why this effort must be so
great are plainly inherent in the basic
security situation.
As was first disclosed in this space, all
defense planning of the Joint Chiefs of
Staff has long been founded on the expec-
tation that the Beria bomb would be pro-.%
duced in 1952.
On the basis of the 1952 date, the Joint
Chiefs of Staff allowed five years for our
defense build-up, counting three years un-
til the Soviets produced a bomb and two
more for them t6 accumulate a decisive
stockpile of their new weapon. The job for
which five years was formerly allowed must
now be done in two years at the outside.
S* * * *
OREOVER, MERE physical defense is
by no means the only problem. While
this country is presently beyond range of
mass attack from Soviet bases, Europe is
within easy range.
Unless we choose to confront an expand-
ing Soviet empire in naked isolation, wp
must therefore move forward on the politi-
cal and economic fronts as well as on the
defense front. Hard solutions must be
found for all the Atlantic community's
pressing problems, such as those revealed
by the British ecnomic crisis. And if we fail
our allies in any respect whatever, we must
expect our allies to fail us.
(Copyright, 1949, New York Herald Tribune, Inc.)

'Just why Mr. Truman chose to make his
startling revelation when he did has been
a cause for much speculation. With the Sen-
ate and House rounding out weeks of hard
fought debate on the military assistance pro-
gram for Europe, he may have made his an-
nouncement to forestall a last minute cut in
the appropriation. If so, his plan was highly
successful, as both houses passed an un-cut
version of the bill with little debate this
week.
A second possible explanation for the Pres-
ident's announcement which reverberated in
capitols all over the world, may have been
his desire to use it as a propaganda tool.
Certainly the news of the explosion was no
shock to the scientific world, since physicists
have been telling us since 1945 that any
major industrial country could develop an
atomic bomb within five or ten years. If an-
nounced by the Russians, however, the news
would have had tremendous effects on the
hard-pressed peoples of Western Europe
and the Far East who are hovering on the
line between American assistance and power
and Russian promises and threats.
Finally Mr. Truman may have timed his
statement to prod the United Nations En-
eral Assembly, now meeting at Lake Suc-
cess, into working out some effective inter-
national atomic control. Although an
Atomic Energy Commission was set up by
the General Assembly in January, 1946,
all attempts to establish controls have
been frustrated by conflicting Russian and
American views.
The Russian plan simply calls for an in-
ternational treaty to outlaw the production
and use of atomic weapons. In addition, they
have continually insisted that existing
atomic weapons must be destroyed before
any international control goes into effect.
The United States plan, on the other
hand, would set up an international body
without a veto power to run all, atomic en-
ergy activities. This group, which would have
the power to inspect and license these activ-
ities, would have to be in effect before
bombs are destroyed and production of them
stops.
Possibly the public revelation that Rus-
sia does have an atomic bomb may awaken
statesmen all over the world to the fact
that the two greatest nations on the globe
are both poised to strike blows which will
take the lives of thousands, even millions
of people. It may make both Russian and
American diplomats more willing to com-
promise on their plans for the security of
the world.
They MUST realize that the only real
winner in an atomic war would be the silent
specter of death and destruction.
-Jim Brown.

"Take It Easy, Pal-We'll Get You Out Of This"
CHINESE
N AT'IO N A LIST G O T
1Jr#! ,eElx VT."

pi ea'dit THIN
by b. s. brown

- 'I

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DAILY OFFICIAL BULLETIN

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ON THE

Washington Merry-Go-Round

,III

WITH DREW PEARSON

11

W ASHINGTON - President Truman had
one overpowering problem more than
ever on his' mind after announcing to his
cabinet that Russia had exploded an atomic
bomb-namely how to keep the peace of
the world.
One of the first men he saw after -the
historic announcement was ;Sen. Burnet
Maybank, South Carolina Democrat. Tru-
man greeted Maybank gravely.
"I wanted to talk to you," said Maybank,
"about point four."
This is the President's plan to develop
backward areas of the earth. Just an
idea tossed to Congress in a presidential
message at first, this has now been boiled
down into a bill authorizing the export-
import bank to insure private investments
in overseas projects up to $3,500,000,000.
The bill was before Maybank's banking
and currency committee.
The President's eyes lighted up.
"It's the greatest chance for peace we've
got," he declared.
PROSPERITY MEANS FORCE
"THE SUREST way to have peace in the
world is to have satisfied people," Tru-
man explained. He stressed that private
enterprise must be encouraged to take the
initiative; otherwise governments will take
over, as in Russia.
The President showed special concern
over the Middle East-a fertile field for
American investors or Soviet agents, who-
ever gets there first. By bringing prosper-
ity to the Middle East, Truman hoped to
wipe out a Communist breeding ground.
He also was anxious to keep Communism
out of the Western Hemisphere by helping
our South American neighbors.
As a parting argument for helping the
rest of the world achieve prosperity, the
President observed: "There was no fighting
in the Garden of Eden."
Note-Maybank was so impressed with
the President's earnestness that he pushed
the point-four bill through his Senate bank-
ing and currency committee the next day.
SENATE'S ELECTRIC TYPEWRITERS
SENATORS WHO want to keep up with
the machine age are now entitled to two

streamlined, electric typewriters. But, as
with all new machines, it will mean kicking
someone out of a job. This doesn't mean
that the machine replAces the typist, but
that the Senate budget isn't big enough
for both.
Believing that economy begins at home,
the' Senate Rules Committee has author-
ized two electric typewriters for each
Senate office, but the cost must be de-
ducted from the office payroll. The pur-
chase price for two of these fancy type-
writers is $1,920, which will mean laying
off a bottom-rung clerk for several
months.
Though this offer has just been announc-
ed, two Senators have already put in their
orders. They are Arthur Watkins of Utah
and John Stennis of Mississippi, who don't
happen to be using their full payroll any-
how. Two other Senators-Lyndon Johnson
of Texas and Russell Long of Louisiana-
have bought electric typewriters out of
their own pockets, and the Senate Rules
Committee is now willing to reimburse them
-provided they will fire someone from their
staffs first.
* * *
BOP, RE-BOP /AND BE-BOP
THE NEW JFRSEY Superior Court will
soon be called upon to settle whether the
jazz terms, "bop, re-bop and be-bop," belong
to the public or the Herman Optical Com-
pany.
You see, Herman manufactures "Bop
glasses" for the bop cult-which is made
up of devotees of "bop, re-bop and be-bop,"
the latest fad in hot music. The bop cult-
ists have taken to wearing a uniform, con-
sisting of false goatees, flopping bow ties,
and thick-rimmed glasses.
Herman supplies the glasses, but so also
does the Mitchell Optical Company, both of
Newark, N.J. Herman claims he originated
the idea, and applied for a trade mark for
"Bop glasses." That goes for "re-bop and
be-bop," too. But Mitchell insists that the
"bop" expressions are in the public domain.
What's more, he adds, his "Bop glasses" are
cheaper.
Pity the poor judges who now have to mete
out justice!

(Continued from Page 3)
8 p.m. for week-day dinners and
between 1 p.m. and 3 p.m. fo
Sunday dinners. While guest
chaperons are not required,
groups without resident house di-
rectors musa announce these
events to the Office of Student
Affairs at least one day in ad-
vance of the scheduled date.
Calling hours for women in men's
residences:
University Residence Halls,
daily between 3-10:30 p.m.
Fraternities with resident house
directors: Friday, 8 p.m.-12 mid-
night; Saturday, 2:30-5:30 p.m.
and from 8-12 p.m.; Sunday, 1-
10:30 p.m.
Women callers in men's resi-
dences are restricted to the main
floor of the residence.
Lectures
Dr. Louise Shier, Associate Cu-
rator, Museum of Archeology, will
present an illustrated lecture on
"A Roman Town in Egypt," at the
first meeting of the Women's Re-
search Club, 8 p.m., Mon., Oct. 3,
West Lecture Room, Rackham
Bldg.
University Lecture. "Corneille
and Dryden as Playwrights." Pier-
re Legouis, professor of English
Language and Literature. Univer-
sity of Lyon, France; auspices of
the Department of English. 4:15
p.m., Tues., Oct. 4, Rackham Am-
phitheater.
Academic Notices
Organic Seminar:
First meeting on Mon., Oct. 3,
7:30 p.m., 1300 Chemistry. Speak-
er: Dr. Vaughan. Topic: The par-
ticipation of neighboring groups
and structure of reaction inter-
mediates.
Physics 196: No lecture on Mon-
day.
History 11, Lecture Group II
will met in Rm. B, Haven Hall,
MF 10, and not in W. Gal. AMH
as announced.
Mathematics Seminars: The fol-
lowing seminarshave been organ-
ized in the Mathematics Depart-
ment:
Topology, first meeting, Mon.,
Oct. 3, 3 p.m., 3201 A.H.
Applied Mathematics, next meet-
ing, Thurs., Oct. 6, 4:15 p.m., 247
W.E.
Statistics, first meeting, Mon.,
Oct. 10 at 4 p.m., 3201 A.H.
Class Field Theory, first meet-
ing, Thurs., Oct. 6, 4-5:45 p.m.,
3011 A.H.
Stochastic Processes, first meet-
ing, Mon., Oct. 10, 7:30 p.m., 3001
A.H.
Theory of Games, first meeting
Mon., Oct. 3, 7:30 p.m., 3001 A.H
Geometry, first meeting, Tues.
Oct. 4, 4 p.m., 3001 A.H. Mr. Kaz-
arinoff will speak.
Transfinite Numbers, first meet-
ing, Thurs., Oct. 6, 3 p.m., 2014 A
H.
General Theory of Integration
first meeting, Tues., Oct. 4, 3 p.m.
3014 A.H.
Classical Analysis, first meet-
ing, Thurs., Oct. 6, 4 p.m., 277 W.E
Algebra, first meeting, Tues.
Oct. 4, 4 p.m., 3201 A.H.

ses, enrollment for which may be
made in advance in the office
at 4524 Administration Building
(or at the first class session if the
course is not already filled):
Chamber Music for Recreation.
A performance course to introduce
players to chamber music and fel-
low chamber musicians. Partici-
pants will be organized into small
ensembles, major emphasis to be
placed on performance experience
of each group. Open to Univer-
sity students and to members of
the community, with or without
previous ensemble experience. Pre-
requisite: ability to play easier
chamber works. Class limited to
needs of successful group organiz-
ation, Noncredit course, eight
weeks, $5.00.
Section I, String Instruments,
Prof. Oliver A. Edel. Section II
Woodwinds (Oboe, Flute, Clarinet
Bassoon) and French Horn, Nelson
M. Hauenstein. Both sections meet
at 7 p.m., Tues., Oct. 4, 1022 Uni-
versity High School.
Gardening II. Major Perennials
No preliminary requirement; in-
struction will be devoted to the
culture, selection, and use of im-
portant plant groups, including
bulbs, chrysanthemums, phlox, ir-
is, and shrubs. Noncredit course
eight weeks, $5.00. Ruth Mosher
Place.
Place. Wed., Oct. 5, 7:30 p.m.
176 Bus. Ad. Bldg.
Richard Wagner and the Musi
Drama. Wagner's life and position
in music and his theories of ar
studied in relation to the socia
and economic conditions of th
nineteenth-century Germany. An
alysis made of the principal mu.
sic dramas. No previous know
ledge of music is necessary. Th
course may be taken for two hour
of undergraduate credit, $14.00 o
as a noncredit course, $14.00. Mus
Lit. 124.) Prof. Glenn D. McGeoch
Wed., Oct. 5, 7 p.m., 206 Burton
Memorial Tower.
Practical Public Speaking. Plan
ned to meet the need of the stu
dent who desires a course devote
exclusively to training in publi
speaking rather than a basi
course in the whole field of speech
Study, analysis, practice, and crit
icisms designed to promote the ac
quisition of proficiency in extem
poraneous speaking. Limited ti
twenty-five persons. Noncredi
'course, ten weeks, $10.00. Prof. G
E. Densmore. Thurs., Oct. 6, 7:3
p.m., 231 Angell Hall.
Ceramics: A study of the mate
rials and forms of pottery. Basi
ceramic design applied to the pot
ter's wheel and simple use of glaz
es. Beginners section Class limite
to twenty. Noncredit course, te
weeks, $10; materials, $5. Prof. G
D. Cole. Mon., Ot. 3, 8 p.m., 12
Architecture Bldg.
Modern Dance Course: Rhyth
mic body mechanics, includin
stretching, limbering, and tech
niques of modern dance are par
of this course. Movement exer
cises can be practiced at home an
should gradually result in a well
conditioned body. Appreciatio:
and understanding of the danc
. will be developed to musical ac
companiment if the group wishe
Open to both men and women
Noncredit course, eight weeks. On
evening a week, $5; two evening
a week, $10. Dr. Juana de Laba
and staff. Monday and Wednes

VERY THIN-This happen-
ed in an English class this past
week. The instructor was ,discus-
sing some of the finer points of a
poem in which ivory was mention-
ed. "What is the sensation?" he
asked. "What does the word bring
to mind?"
A bright senior, seeing the op-
portunity to make an early bid for
an "A," answered, "There is a
tactile sensation."
Personally, I liked the remark
that oozed forth from the back
of the room. "It reminds me of
soap."
An interesting announcement
was made this summer by the
University. The report can prompt
speculation, but I'll dispense with
editorial comment and give the
essential information.
A new heating tunnel con-
necting the New Women's Dorm
and the maternity ward of Uni-
versity Hospital has been com-
pleted, the report stated.
In case you didn't know, most
of the heating tunnels which run
beneath the campus can be tra-
versed by an individual of average
height.
* * *
HIGHER AND DEEPER (PhD
dept.)-I saw one sad looking in-
dividual leaving the football game
last week. She puzzled me, be-
cause she was wearing one of the
day, Oct. 3 and 5, 7:30 p.m. Dance
studio, second floor, Barbour Gym-
nasium.
Administration in the Hospital
Nursing Unit: A study of the prin-
ciples, functions, and essential ac-
tivities of administration in insti-
tutional nursing. Registration is
still open to graduate nurses.
(Nursing 20, two hours credit; six-
teen weeks, $14. Prof. Wilda G
Chambers, Tuesdays, 7 p.m., 4406
University Hospital.
Understanding and Interpreting
the Bible: A study of the origin
and nature of the Bible, how it
has come down to us, and its spe-
cific contribution for the life of
today. Church school teachers of
high school age classes should find
this of value. Noncredit course
eight weeks, $5. Dr. Leroy Water-
man. Mon., Oct. 3, 7;30 p.m., 170
Business Administration Bldg.
Concerts
Aitur Rubinstein, distinguished
pianist, will give the first of the
University Musical Society con-
cert programs Tuesday evening
Oct. 4, at 8:30 in Hill Auditorium
Mr. Rubenstein will play an all-
Chopin program consisting of the
following numbers: Andante spia-
nato et Grande Polonaise; Noc-
turne; Mazurka; Sonata in B-fia
c minor; Ballade in G minor; Tw
Etudes; Impromptu in G-fiat and
t Polonaise in A-fiat.
S Informationontickets may b
obtained at the offices of the Uni
- versity Musical Society in Bur-
. ton Memorial Tower.
e Exhibitions
s
r Museum of Art, Alumni Memor
ial Hall. Jazz by Matisse: Hayter',
. Five Personages, weekdays 9-5
n Sundays 2-5. The public is invited
Events Today
d Phi Iota Alpha, Business meet
c ing, 2 p.m., Union.
c
. Triangles meeting, 7 p.m., Rm
- 3K, Union. Election of officers.
Luheran Student Association
0 7 p.m., program at Zion Luthera
t Parish Hall. Speaker: Jean Gring
. le, assistant to Eastern Secretar
0 of Division of Student Service o
National Lutheran Council.

Evangelical and Reformed Guild
5:30 p.m. Supper Meeting. Begin
c ning a series "Our Church and It
- Place in the Universal Christian
- Church." Discussion follows.
dUnitarian Student Group: 6:31
d p.m. at the Church. Mr. Ka
n Guenther from Detroit will spea
5 on: "Time, Space and Money." Re
freshments and recreation will fol
low the program.
Gamma Delta Lutheran Studen
g Club: :6.30 p.m., Supper and pro
- gram at the Center, 1511 Washte
naw Avenue.
Canterbury Club: 9 a.m. Hol
- Communion, followed by studen
d breakfast and discussion at Can
terbury House. 5 p.m., Evenin
ne Service, followed by supper at
e p.m. Evening's talk will be give
by Wym Price on the subject c
s 'World Student Service Fund.
Coffee hour follows.
ie Westminster Guild: Seminar i
's Religion. This group will meet i
n the Presbyterian Church kitche
-' (Continued on Page 7)

Wolverine club's "beat state" but-
tons, evidently not a Spartan lass.
When she delivered the following
brilliant dissertation, I recognized
the source of her woes and her
frosh status:
"I just happened to think,
Now these buttons are obsolete."
Better luck next time, kiddo,
but we'll be playing State for at
least the next three years (through
your senior year).
The Water in the fountain o
the mall turned green last week.
It wasn't unusual. And it wasn't
as revolutionary as the soap suds
incident last spring. But there'd
a new twist.
One of the local canines
(somehow he has escaped the
"yelp lab" in the middle of
campus) was laboring under a
misapprehension. He thought
the fishes were real.
He spent twenty minutes lung-
ing at the fishes, but every time his
front paws went into the reser-
voir, a stream of water from the
fishes' mouths would hit him in
the face. He didn't give up until
he was colored an obnoxious
green. The last I saw of him, he
was headed up Lansing way.,.
One of the national magazines
is sporting a pic of Tar Heel Char-
lie Justice on this week's cover.
But inside, a page is devoted to
Michigan. I like the following ex-
planation of the Wolverine Single
wing:
"Everybody handles the ball at
Michigan except the Dean of Ag-
riculture, and he's at Michigan
State.
That covers everything for
today!
Xette.4
TO THE EDITOR
1.The Daily accords its readers the
privilege ofsubmitting letters for
publication in this column. subject
to space limitations, the general pol-
icy is to publish in the order in which
they are reeived all letters bearing
fthe writer's signature and address.
Letters exceeding 300 words, repe-
tious letters and letters of a defama-
tory character or such letters which
for any other reason are not in god.
taste will not be published. The
editors reserve the privilege of con-
densing letters.
Poll Tax
To the Editor:
MAY I BE the first to stand up
against the recommended Stu-
dent Legislature tax plan. The
. SL is elected by power politics
where influence instead of ability
is important. So why allow this
- small group to place a tax on the
- backs of the entire student body?
t If these BMOC's want funds to
o misappropriate, why don't they
I levy a poll tax? A poll tax would
fall only on those students who
e want to support the SL. Also, the
- friend-of-a-friend type of voter
- would think twice before voting.
-John E. Carpenter
--
s

:f4

4'

v

,n i
ly Fifty-Ninth Year
Edited and managed by students of
f the University of Michigan under the
authority of the Board in Control of
: Student Publications.
- Editorial Staff
n LeonJaroff.........Managing Editor
Al Blunirosen......... City Editor
Philip Dawson...Editorial Director
0 Mary Stein..........Associate Editor
Jo Misner.............Associate Editor
rl George Walker.......Associate Editor
k Alex Lmanian. Photography Editor
Pres Holmes........Sports Co-Editor
e-Merle Levin .......... Sports Co-Editor
- Roger Goelz...Associate Sports Editor
Miriam Cady .......... Women's Editor
Lee Kaltenbach.. Associate Women's Ed.
t Bess Hayes Young.........Librarian
Business Staf
SRoger Wellington... . Business Manager
Jim Dangli....... Advertising Manager
y Bernie Aidinoff.....Finance Manager
t Ralph Ziegler......Circulation Manage
-_ Telephone 23-24-1
g
6 . Member of The Associated Press
n The Associated Press is exclusively
ofentitled to the use for republication
of all news dispatches credited to it or
." otherwise credited to this newspaper.
All rights of republication of all other
matters herein are also reserved.
in Entered at the Post Office at Ann
n Arbor, Michigan, as second-class mall
matter.
n Subscription during the regular school
year by carrier, $5.00, by mail, $6.00.

i

Edu~cation

"INTELLIGENCE appears to be the thing
that enables a man to get along without
education. Education appears to be the
thing that enables a man to get along with-
out the use of his intelligence."
-Albert Edward Wiggam, in
"The New Decalogue of Science."

The University Extension
ice announces the following

Serv-
cour-




BARNABY

I don't see how you could possibly get
by at college on less, Barnaby. The

I've cut all the non-essentials. It
| comes to a total of $9,919.42-

Cushlamochree, Barnaby! What nonsense is this?
Surely your father doesn't expect me to see you

I can see your father's point, m'boy.
The hundred dollars he put in the bank

r.

Let's see. My minimum estimated expenses
was $9,919.42. If we have one hundred

-Er-I'm a Liberal Arts man, myself, Barnaby.
Never very good at higher mathematics..

0

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