Pace Twenty THE MICHIGAN DALY cndav. Februarv f 1949 PeausTwntyTH M CHI AN DALYM~wrs Fhrau-rs 7 1I4 T ROLLING ST ONE S ... by Harold Jackson Tough Nut EACH YEAR WHEN J-HOP time rolls around, we get a considerable chuckle out of assorted party banter about how "Elsie and Me is gonna sneak into J- Hop." All sorts of fabulous schemes from climbing down the IM chimney to rid- ing into the hall in the orchestra lead- er's bull fiddle case are all brought up for discussion, laughed over, and then dropped. Even as late as J-Hop night when the mob is waiting to be funneled through the rathole door, there occurs to many a temptation to push right past that smiling ticket taker. But we wonder how many of the dan- cers-be they varsity fullbacks or feath- erweights-would even toy with prospec- tive ways to storm J-Hop if they knew that the big affable ticket taker was ac- tually a captain of police in plain clothes. Unnoticed ASIDE FROM THE COP on the door. how many other little known stories could be written about a J-Hop? Prob- ably 3,000 a year-one for every couple -except that most pass unnoticed. However, it'll be a long time before we forget the warmth and pleasure added to the J-Hop in 1947 by this momentary flash of how much the dance could mean: Gay conversation and friendly push- ing, couples edging up the long staircase, crisp black tuxedos, colorful evening gowns, eager faces-all blended into a moving sea of anticip atiols. But the press of people around him only made him glad. His friendly face mirrored the excitement in his brain, and the girl beside him looked happy too. In fact her smile was so warm and magnetic that scarcely anyone noticed the tight grip her fingers kept on his left elbow. At the top of the stairs, music greet- ed them. He hesitated for a minute, then smiled again and firmly took her hand, And she watched with shining and ad- miring eyes as her blind young man led her eagerly through the archway into one of the most unforgettable of college dances. Parting Shot LEAPING BACK to the subject of cops - in 1914 the Washtenaw sheriff cooked up a swell blackmail scheme: He wrote the parents of many Uni- versity students offering to give them a "full report on your son's various activities here in Ann Arbor" Whether or not he got any takers'isn't known, but think how popular he would- n't be today, And that story comes from an unin- peachable source, a J-Hop Daily-which everyone knows is a pillar of truth in any age. A TallTale I THINK that I shall never see A date who's quite as tall as me, A date whose cheek will lightly rest Upon my forehead, not my chest. But opposites attract they say So midget dates must come my way. Despite my search, I've yet to see A man who'll stoop to conquer me, And always at each evening's end I bend. POEMS are made by fools like me While shorter girls make men six-three, -.Joyless Killmore, i l i { F' ef -And you can tell your roanmate that he is tail, dark. and has deep, piercing eyes. Stiudents Arise!1 AGAIN UNIVERSITY officials have failed to see the light-even when their eye-lashes were tweaked: They have refused to carry forward the liberal advancements now being made in education by scholars who have been wide a-wake enough to see the advantage of all-night classes. Under INTERNATIONAL United Nations,. Carpenters were preparing ne' doors for Andrei Vishinsky to walk out of this week, as the Security Council net to discuss the adrission of Brooklyn to the U n ited N ations East is East The Arab Legions of Abdullah rose in Communist revolt this week, following the marriage of Aly Khan to film actress Rita Hayworth, At weeks end, in Marx- ist fashion, they called on the Khan to share the wealth~ NATIONAL The Presidency .Humors that the ghost of Toni Pender- gast was handling the seven million dol- lar contract-for repair of the White House were flatly denied by Harry S. Tnrnan this week. LOCAL Fantasia . . - Deans Lloyd and Walter surprised guests by dancing a Rhumba, smoking cartons of cigarette samples, drinking Seagrams and quietly announcing their retirement. Boy Scouts . . - The nation's Boy Scouts marked their beginning of a new era on their 39th an- niversary by pledging themselves to two good turns a day instead of the tradi- tional one. In Moscow, high Politburo officials denounced the pledge, saying that the scouts were "innocent tools of the bourgeois capitalists." **W*... The local Veterans of Future Wars chapter sent a night letter to Congress demanding $30 at 30 instead of the $60 at 60 that the lawmakers are now offer- ing. "Give us the dough while we can still enjoy it," they pleaded. the new set-up, classes are scheduled from 10 p. in. to 4 a. m. and closing hours for women are from 10 a.m. (when most of them are still asleep anyway) until I p.m, You don't have to get up early in the morning to see the advantages: 1. Complete Daylight Saving-not one precious ray of sunlight would be wasted on classes. 2. Coeds, who are now limited to the first evening show during the week, could condition themselves to their studies with before-class trips to the cinema. S..Students in classes where they 'couldn't see the light' would not be lonely. Of course, some grinds will stay up all day studying. However, the dusk to dawn (yawn) schedule has already been adopted by liberal-fascist ALLWET College. And so you student masses-you sons of ill-gotten gain, I say to you: ARISE!-at 10 p. nis -M MeWisn a, I'd Rather Be President: Definitijrons By TOM DEWEY (Daily Alumnus) -HOP DATE-A combination of high financing and long range planning resulting in three beers and seven hours with the wrong kind of women. Collective Security-A double date, Cold War-That part'of the evening when a date lig cgarette five min- utes before the dorm elhss. International Relati w-A date which begins at the International Center and progresses to the Arboretum. Stood UP-That stage at which a fra- ternity man argues he will become inde- pendent. Crisis--That point at which all pre- liminary maneuvers have been completed and an overt act on either side will touch off a large scale offensive. Protective Aliance-A double date. Trusteeship-Letting your buddy take your girl friend to the J-Hop. Pseudo-Liberal-A Progressive with his loyalty checked. War Surplus-A woman whose supply is greater than her demand. Witch-Hunt-An attempt for a last minute date. Social Security-A douts date. Xettep4 TO THE EDITOR Intellectuality To the Editor: I A transfer student from the United States Institute of Literary Engineers and I shood very much like to rekomend the adoption of the methods of this noted school by the University of Misagun's engineering departmint, I sincirly hope that the university will tak note and do sumthing about the hor- able sitchuation here. I persunaly plan to teech those engineers with boom cum in contact what I no about litericy. -Luce Knockwood Cant Work To the Editor: dUR UNIVERSITY has taken several steps in the right direction by pro- hibiting drinking and coeducational par- ties without chaperones in our dorms and houses. But can't something be done about the excessive necking that goes on around the coed dorms just before closing time. This has a deleterious effect on my studies. -Sigmund Freud Our Public To the Editor: THINK the editorial page of the Mich- igan Daily is great. -Don Blumrosen Lonely To the Editor: ALTHOUGH you have no love-lorn col- unn in your paper, I am so love-horn that I simply had to write. As a transfer student from Purdue, I know I am at- tractive to Michigan men, but I guess they don't know that I am here. This is formal notification that I am. I am a pretty little thing-nine feet, four inches tall, 582 pounds, three eyes, soft, smooth scales-I simply can't understand why no one ever asks me out. I just love Michigan men. My telephone number is 2-2591. Ask for Cuddles. -Marian Ittelauqsap Scope To The Editor: THE UNIVERSITY curriculum is in- complete. Why, since there are cours- es in Public Relations, Family Relations and International Relations, doesn't the Sociology or Psychology department give a course in Illicit. Some of us coeds are confused as to what this field entails. -man Id Coed. Nift-fineth Year Edited and managed by students of the University of Michigan under the authority of the Board in Control of Student Publi- cations. Editorial Staff Editor ..... Harold Jackson Photography Editor ............Alex Lmanian Art Wora... au....sBl Smith, John Houct Assistants and contributors - Anegra Pasqual- etti, Audrey Buttery, Harriett Friedman, Naomi Stern, Al Blumrosen, Fredi Winters, Fran Ivick, Don McNeil, Harry .Reed, Pres Holmes, Phil Dawson, B. S. Brown, Alice Brinkman, Merle Levin, John Neufeld, Doug Parker, Janet Watts, Bud Aronson, John Davies, Paul urentlinger, Liilas Wagner, Bo iser, MaryStein, Business Sta Business Manager............... Jim Dangl Advertising Manager.... Jim Ebersole Assistants - Bob Daniels, Jack Montrose, log Wellington, Dick Hait, Ralph Ziegler, Johns Schlee, Phil Mercade, Bernie Aidinoff, Bob Mercereau, Jane Evans, Bob Koroff, Portia Middlesworth, John Nixon, Fred Thompson, Joy Goldsworthy, Harriet Thompson, Dottie Besa, Barb Thelan, Jean aegerstroin.Jim Shelder, Lola Schwartz, 0tl Osnoa, Mams ine ,ivore, Betty Heiser, Loretta Jacobs, Dee Nelson, Tom Linton, Fred May.