Reactionaries
Poll Students
On Lovability
Ask Which Counts'
Most-Looks, Money
Whatever happened to the good'
old-fashioned lovable girl?
That's what a group of our ad- e
vertisers ask.
They're so interested in finding
out that they've outfitted us with
a list of questions to be filled out ,
and sent to "The Lovable Girl-r
of-the-Month Committee." I
They're thorough. The first
question asks "Which is most im-
portant in making a girl lovable?"t
And the choices are her looks, her
mind or her bank roll.
Continuing this scientific prob- J-HOP DECORATIONS - Cot
ing, the poll asks "Which of the president of the Detroit decora
following makes a girl more lov- for the 1947 J-Hop. Left to ri
able?-sense of humor, wit,~ par- rations chairman; Assistant D
ents who mind their own business, chairman
a house of her own, a large liquor chairman.
closet, a generous heart, good
taste in clothes, influential DOUBLEDRIBBLE'S D1
friends?"
They even want to know if a girl
is orelovbl ifshe aRepub -
lican, Democrat. Communist o i si oelvbei h or ollo I Y l4
Socialist.
Our copy of the questionnaire
just fell in the waste basket. But I hate women. Not that I didn't
we pass some of the meat on to used to give them a tumble every
you. now and then, but that's all past
' and all because of a basketball
player with a head shaped like a
Ann rbo Is basketball '
Ann Arbor Is I was a gullible guy and I trust-
* ~ ed a woman. I was faithful to her
inaignhion. I gave up every-
thing1 nar and dear to me, most
Sunshine in Ann Arbor is about nearly all other women, my inde-
as frequent as egg in your beer, pead1ce, my Ethasketball aus, my
according to Prof. Alluvium Mc- peace o mind a games.
Map, of the geography depart- You would think that a girl who
ment. had seen every basketball game
Prof. McMap spoke before the played up here in the last year
Chamber of Commerce Club on would know something about the
"Rainfall in the Ann Arbor Up- game, -but not this, this, woman. I
lands." He explained that rain is swore a solemn oath to teach her
as natural to Ann Arbor as salt the rudiments of the play, not the
is to Siberia. F. Dostoyevsky, for- subtle points, just the important
mer Siberian miner, supported the things, like why there are only two
professor's statement. baskets and ten players.
"Ann Arbor is peculiarly situ- She Was Bright
ated at the intersection of 16 ma- It's not that she wasn't a bright
jor rain belts," he declared, "as girl but she did think any school
well as being the meeting place of with as muchmoney as this one
hurricanes (from Chicago), cy- could afford one basket for each
clones (from Kansas) and also. player. I did my best.
hot air and big blows locally." At every game I would patiently
He indicated the wide oppor- explain every move that took
tunities open for students to learn place. "Now look," I would say as
agriculture and horticulture "first- the referee threw the ball up be-
hand" by cultivating rice and tween the centers to start the
water lilies in the floating top- game, "that is a tip off." She
soil of the city streets and gar- would say how that was interest-
dens. ing and she hoped the man would
"Michigan State should have tip them off to something nice.
such a chance!" Prof. McMap It's not that the girl wasn't in-
enunciated emphatically. terested, because she loved going
After the meeting, the profes- to the games. It always gave her a
sor invited all those interested to chance to find out who was going
visit his home and view the unique with who at what time and what
variety of climbing moss and fun- were the chances that who would
gus growing up his living room take who to the J-Hop brawl. I,
wall. of course, was already hooked.

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ommittee members sign a contract with Marvin Johnson, vice-
tions firm which is furnishing over $3,000 worth of atmosphere
ght: Johnson, Chuck Lewis, building chairman; Nancy Holt, deco-
tan of Students Walter B. Rea, and Dennis Youngblood, J-Hop
A Ys
Game, Wrecks Romance

Sends Romans
With Hep Jive
First Jitterbug Sets
J-Hop Dance Style
When it comes to saints, too
much is being said these days
about a certain one named St.
Valentine. And it's only right. be-
cause this is the only time of year
that he's mentioned at all. But
we'll be willing to bet that not one
person in Ann Arbor, whether he
went to J-Hop or to an exclusive
dance, has given even a minute's
thought to the guy who really
made dancing what it is today.
Of course, the reference is to St.
Vitus, patron saint of the dance.
So now you know.
According to the latest encyclo-
pedias, the only. informative
sources thatbother withsuch
trivia, Vitus lived during the Ro-
man period.
That's all the encyclopedias say,
but there is quite a yarn about this
fellow in an old Roman publica-
tion, "0 Bromus Seltzus," which is
well known to J-Hfoppers.
Now Vitus. was an unusual kid,
That's why he didn't live very
long. Died at the age of 20. He
began to show signs of his dancing
ability at the age of 18 months,
when he kicked the slats out of
his cradle laughing, at the joke
that was on page 23 of last
month's Garg. From then on, he
concentrated on his footwork. By
the time he was twelve, he had
performed in amateur shows, Sun-
day-school picnics, beer palaces,
and in the movies. In short, he
was terrific. But it didn't last
long. Styles in music were chang-
ing in those days too.

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.OIL
I first noticed the change when ing her stuff, but I wasn't worried
this new guy broke into the start- because I knew the stuff she was
ing lineup, this round headed being taught was basketball So I
joker, Rollo Doubledribble. It was sit back and enjoy the game, se-
during the Stanford game. She cure in the knowledge that this
didn't once say that our team girl loves me if only for my J-Hop
wasn't very nice because they ticket.
didn't ever let the other boys have On the way home that night she
the ball. told me everything, almost. The
The Change poor fellow was the only boy in
The whole diabolical scheme un- her sociology class and he looked
folded the night of the Illinois so lonesome, so she talked to him
game. In the middle of the first and they got to be friends and he
period when we aren't doing so was such a nice boy and didn't he
hot, she leaps to her feet scream- have the cutest shaped head and
ing, "Fer Gawd Sakes, work that she felt like she was doing such a
pivot. Get the ball in the keyhole." good deed keeping him company
I look at her amazed, but then I in class and it was strictly platonic
settled back thinking it is just because I was the only man and
something she heard from the guy besides Rollo couldn't get into the
next to her or something. How J-Hop in those short basketball
right I was. Only the guy next to pants.
her wasn't the guy I thought was She sounded convincing, and I
next to her. sure did want to believe her. But
She calms down for a while but when I kissed her, I felt the bot-
then in the last part of the game tom drop out of everything. I
that lucky Doubledribble goes went white with anger (a passer-
crazy shooting his basketball by told me)', I pulled that J-FHop
shaped head off. My girl is leap- ticket out of my wallet and ripped
ing all over the joint, screaming it into a million pieces
"Look at him hook from that cor- After swearing to me how she
ner. Omigosh, a pivot. . . . Look and Doubledribble were just
he's hot as a two dollar pistol.. . . friends, then she kisses me and
Look at him drive in for that lay- how does she hold me? Why she
up." puts her hands on my ears and
No Dummy grips my head as if it were shaped
I am no dummy, I began to sus- like a basketball.
pect that someone had been teach- -Dick Kraus

F


SECRETARIAL and
BUSINESS TRAINING
Second Semester - February 10
STENOTYPY (Machine shorthand)
GREGG SHORTHAND
ACCOUNTING
DICTAPHONE
COMPTOMETER
HAMILTON BUSINESS COLLEGE
William at State


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