OFF TO THE BALL:
Or, Life Is Jus
Molly and me and our six-
month-old Mollerina have a nice
two and one-third rooms apart-
ment, completely furnished with
bathtub fixtures included, just off
campus and it costs only $67.50 per
month because I'm caretaker and
keep the fires ablaze through sick-
ness, death, and between semes-
I was here before, you know.
In fapt, I took Molly to the J-Hop
in '41 (Goodman and Krupa, you
know) and it was only a few days
later that Molly and me were en-
But that's too far behind the
story. The editor says he thinks
that fathers and mothers at the
J-Hop this year have to go
through quite a bit, make a big
sacrifice, you know, for the single
night's fun and frolic. So he wants
me to tell just how it all comes
Molly and me agree that it's a
big experience, although we have a
sneaking hunch that all life is one
We were munching doughnuts,
sipping warm, scintillating rich
brown coffee and enjoying a
morning Chesterfield together with
The Daily (Life Can Be Beautiful)
in our snug kitchenette when
"Oh, look! Ziggy Elman and
"Great Shades of Caesar, wom-
an," I cried. "Get them in the
right order. Lunceford and El-
Of Course We Won't Go
"Yes, dear," Molly replied,
snatching the paper from my
grasp and forcing me to look at
her. "Of course, we won't go."
IT CAN'T BE BEAT:
ina and Me, Policy Sends BYD Survey Discovers New
1 a Sacrifice Richard Fans Woolly Shortage on Campus_
But frolicsome youth will have A brilliant rendition of the new- More than 2521, or 2.23 of consumes three liters of brew in
a way. By strange coincidence, est smash jazz song "Open the the University s 11,034 student one-tenth liter glasses, he mul-
McFee, a friend of the family, you Door Richard" was given Wednes- veterans, shivered during the re- tiplies one-tenth by 14 (the num-
know, needed a tux. I gladly of- day evening by several members of cent cold wave due to the fact ber of days in the common, or
fered the use of my own. That eve- the Hot Jazz Club in the Hussy that warm, woollyI enough of Garden rety, fortnight) which
ning I unpacked it from its dark Room, the League, whilewthe wrely GI clothing would give him a consumption of
resting place and tried on the Featuring "Scrubby" Williams hile thenwere n the service of 14 liters per fortnight.
Featrin "Scubb" Wllias teir ounryaccording to a our-
jacket, and his lilting piano with crooning vey made yesterday by the Bare- Other fractions are to be com-
"How lovely you look, my dear," by "Verce" and "Binge" Williams, faced Veterans Delegation. puted in this same easy way. All
says Molly. the orchestra succeeded in send- The BVD poll revealed that the reports will be filed in sextupli-
I dashed to the nearest and only ing everyone in the room out. Even veterans hardship was worsened sate, of course).
mirror, the one in the medicine Hussy. by the VA's recent ruling which The BVD survey did not include
cabinet, and was overcome by the Observers showered the orches- requires all vets to file a report of the 22,069 former student veter-
reflection of sartorial splendor. tra with words of "bravo," "huz- the amount irn liters of beer that ans- of the University who has
"Magnificent garment!" I ex- za," "hic" and "mighty fine" when they consume each fortnight, be- left school because they have not
claimed. the orchestra finished the piece in fore they are allowed to purchase yet received subsistence checks
a startling crescendo of wood- new clothing or blankets. for September, 1945.
In six minutes I was cornered, winds, tubas, kettledrums and cut- (The VA regulation states that VA officials made all kinds of
quartered, and talked out of. two lery. the amount of beer consumed is comment on the situation, the
months' allowance, six months' Riffs a Riot to be computed on the following most common being remarks such
savings, nde thosed avoriteMoextl igh point in the recital came basis: as "Our syst-m can't be beat" and
bos unde heendabe. Mly Hg ain nte I recgietayalvtea "heeisncdaarnnerotft
took care of everything else, too. when "Doghouse" Williams cut a If on a given day, a veteran "There is no delay in ou' outfit."
I'm sure her gown will be distinc- double riff with a varied triple _--- _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
tive, if you know what I mean. paradiddle interspersed with ex-
She's Cheerful Now cellent rim shots and double-en-
e tentes on the traps. Spectators
Molly sighs luxuriously from held their breath as he cleverly 2 22
time to time and goes about her executed an entrechat without
tasks at home with a right smart losing his balance, grabbing a
cheerfulness. But her sighs aren't quick rye in the middle.
so luxurious when she looks at One enthralled co-ed swooned
little Mollerina and I say: ' dead away when "Verce" wrapped
"Gee, little tootsie will go to the himself around a hat rack and
J-Hop soon." crobned the words ". . . Richard, Looking for a
Molly says: please, why don't you open that L
"Rope she doesn't have to de- door?" She was removed quietly,NT NF
pend on the G. Bill of Rights" without disturbing the masters. VALE I E'S G IFT
Incidentally, if you see certain Prof. Tympaninini More, head
slightly bald youngish 'men hold- of the University music school,
ing their partners in the manner stated ecstatically: "The rendi-
romantic, don't take too much for tion! Gad, sir, it was ghastly."
granted. They're just making a The Fuse Blew v Y
night of it, taking in such sights Another well known professor Then come is , , . We have every-
as skin-tight Grecian garments on seconded Professor More's ap-
the bias and an off-the-shoulder praisal of the recital, adding that thing in cosinetics . . . Perfume . . . fitted
effect here and there. nothing of comparison had been l " us
ife'srust abig scri performed in the Hussy Room Casey,
Life's just a big sacrifice, you since the time the light fuse blew
$1.20 - $1.80 THURSDAY
$2.40 - $3.00 FEB. 13th
Seats now selling - Box office
opens daily at 10 a.m.
curing fmia exam week.
Next week the Jazz Club will
feature a rendition of "Scrub Me
Momma With a Snow Shovel,"
picked as appropriate for the
weather. "Mother" Wiliiams, head
of the group, has extended an in-
vitation to the interested public.
The meeting will be Hussy.
Eleven Month Cold
Racing wintry winds swept over
the Michigan campus today as
the weather bureau predicted that
the present cold spell may con-
tinue for another 11 months.
Meteorologist F. M. Icicle told a
reporter that we can expect frig-
id winter -weather next January.
"I seldom like to go out on a
limb," Icicle said, "but you can't
gainsay this weather."
Students who had been routed
to Denver to avoid the tremen-
dous snowfall in the North and
Midwest didn't quite know wheth-
er or not he was joking.
THE WOUMANS.. I iFT
/e TAT TuTarrHED NTYnc.
f ON STATE AT THE HEAD 0F NORTH UNIVERSITY'
DRESS PANTS-100% wool
Coverts . . . Gabardines . . . Tweeds
White . . . Colored
Leather.. . Suede , . . Gabardine . . . Wool
Full Dress Shirts, sizes 16-16 -17
SHOP WHERE YOUR $$ GOES THE FURTHEST
Ann Arbor CUT-RATE Cloth'ng
113 SOUTH MAIN -Next to the Sugar Bowl
Lovely sheer nylons that are
knit to fit perfectly. Dressy
yet serviceable 45 guage nylon
hose in popular beigetone
shade. Sizes 8V2 to 101',
Sears hosiery department also
carries a complete line of
anklets priced from 29c to 59c
Phone 312 S.
2-5501 Main St.