Pae Tw,,enty-Two THE MICHIGAN DAFL Saturday, March 10, 1945" Unpire Shortage Blacks Out 1945 Baseball MacArthur To .Exchequers Michigan Teams Stack Up as Manage News; At Last on Menaces To All Ann Arbor Yor"k Yankees - -- _ - YereMichigan's athletic teams of the cdoctors and nurses in the mre 0CCCTMLB's Latest Edict 19445 spring season shape up as the subtle art of first aid- Michigan Mentors Jump in number one teams not only in Victory Pronised Serves To Sound Death Confernry KrnoRosei Conference King Row in Ann Arbor, ut as far east as In the less strenuous, but none- Knea on Basebal Aspirants Blistering Battle of Bruises Ypsilanti. theless more exacting sport of Said Chris Frisler, Michigan's chess, little can be reported at this th Cordination p Conven ions, ( It has finally happened; the hed of athletics, yesterday in an time. Since President Roosevelt Congres, Tournaments, and 'great and illustrious Wolverine exclusive interview withs your re- first inauguration twelve years Ma or League Baseball, a subsid- checker quintet has appared in porter, and sundry others repre- ago, Ariel Flinn, one-time leader nary of the Office of Public En- the win column. enting DNB, Tokyo News Service, of the Put a Roof Over the Abor- fighoenment, a subsidiary of the ( Last night before a roaring and Colonel McKormik's latest etum' Society, has been locked in Of s of Fact and Fancy stated/ crowd of thirteen spectators the periodical, "The New Deal," or mortal struggle with Frederick' todv that Major League baseball f checkerswent ahead and soundly "Sixteen Different Ways To Get Fnaff of Ohio State, for the Big would be discontinued for the dur- '- tsrounced the Reds of Ohio State That Man Out of the White Ten Conference Honors, Fln ation owing to the shortage of by the overwhelming score of thir- House," "When in doubt, PUNT!" confidently prophesies victory in mpres 'ty-six to fourteen and seven- ' When in Doubt, PANT' eighteen years. Fnaff, who hasn't This order contradicts and cous- eighths. Thee signifi as words, bearing breathed o the past four years, ternaands a directive recently is- Outtsanding on offense for the a slight resemblance to Knute sued by the Coordinator of Co- , GEN. MACART'HUR Wolverines was captain George Le Rockne's famous statement of fif- Guzzling-Favorite Indoor Sport ordinating Government Bureaus .'. might manage Yanks (N.Y.) George, who scored the first king teen years ago when caught with Scanning the other major in- which said that baseball would be -~ ~- crown o the after-evening by a his punts down in an all night door sport which can be printed continued at all costs and that 1. Baseball will be continued. tremendous quadruple jump lead- poker session, and also likened to in a paper of this reputation, guz- Gen Douglas MacArthur might 2. Baseball won't be continued. ing to a counter-escape in the the amorous love call of the Mich- zling-male and female-your re- 'e recalled to manage the New . eneutral sixteen space. Le George igan coed in the year 1901, 'When porter can truly say that he has York Yankees owing to his per- acPha Cheers . found opponent to be very weak in doubt 'PANT,' were taken on all never seen anything like it. Guz- sonal similarity to Larry MacPhail. NEW YORK CJITY- Larry on the offense as the Buckeye was sides by the members of the zling mentor Al Loide, reports that MacPhail, new owner and gen- only able to capture four men and Fourth Estate, to mean that the his P-Beaus and P-Belles are in iBaseball Will Continue eral manager of the New York a king. Wolverine spring athletic squads, the greatest possible condition, ,-Yankees, said today that Joseph Check This would challenge the finest sport and are expected to rise real high stWASBINt TON-- Yesterday's Stalin's recent statement was a In another match of the after- aggregations in history, for first -hic (hic his, not mine). t d onho 3ont - clear "go-ahead" to baseball in noon, Oscar Phrst laid down a honors. High scorer, so far in the intra- the Congrtsse or s 1945. withering barrage of kings and Ruthven Is Coach squad Guzzling League, is I. Belch. ions, Congresses, Tournaments, "The Yankees will be at the checkers to score a hard-fought The early season reports on the Belch, who beat out I. Burp by a and alored League Baseball wa St. Louis Cardinals in the victory over Herman Q. Himple- Maize and Blue, do much to up- head in one of the most exciting gireded tdy Bsbllwl theygreel prowil- World's Series come next fall," baum. Phrst had a hard time of it hold this optimistic prophecy. contests of its type last Saturday, be give e n light rovid- MaPhail averred in giving em- as his worthy adversary absolutely Coach Alec Ruthven's Water Jai attributes his phenomenal success No player over 14 or under phasis to his statement. refused to let go of one of his men Lai Septet is reported to be in the to his strong constitution, his well- No payerittedoergn14 on-rin the second chuukkeerr. Oscar, best possible shape and are ex- developed sense of timing, his im- tract. This stipulation is expee- Harrow eers . . . however, quickly remedied this pected to rise to great heights in plicit faith in God, and his hollow ted to wreak havoc on all clubs NEW YORK CITY- President situation by throwing a knife at the forthcoming season. leg.- except the Brooklyn -Dodgers. Ed Barrow of the New York Yank- him causing him to faint at the The High Liars, captained by 2, No fans ars allowed to see ecs stated today, "Stalin's state- sight of his own blood. J. P. John the Flint Flash, are There will be a meeting of the games. ment just about washes up base- In the third match of the after- well-balanced, due perhaps to the the Stinx Club Thursday night I. Every player works at least ball for the duration. We're all noon, the triplicate as it is called, sensational work of the newly- at 7:30 in the lounge of Stock- 24, hours a day in a war plant. through." the Buckteeth of OI Gevaldt Uni- discovered goalie, Jiar O'Scope, well Hall, President Bank Man- WASHINGTON - President . versity showed that all is gold that and Coach Ruthven has been in- tho announced today. All mem- Soosevelt seeking clarify re- re a e glitters. They repeatedly quashed structing them for the past two bers are please requested to cent government orders regarding WASHINGTON-It is rumored threats made by the Mess and months, in the more subtle art of take baths or a reasonable ac- the future of baseball, said today, in usually well-informed capitol Blooey, and finally succeeded in underwater combat.-The Univer- curate facsimile, before attend- "It's all up to Joe Stalin, but the circles this evening that Roose- making one of our gladiators drop sity Hospital, for the past two ing the meeting. 'United States will no longer main- velt, Churchill, and Stalin will call out from sheer exhaustion. The months, has been instructing its tai it tadiioal and-of pl-a special Big Three conference match ended four and one-half icy in the settlement of such vital late this month to decide the fu- hours later when the captain of unternational matters," ture of American baseball. the Buckteeth got so disgusted Stressing the international Sm- that he took the board and bashed ntereiew at KremlinL portance of the problem, one cap- it over the head of Jerry Martino- ASINGTON- wa ju sitol spokesman stated that it was vich. Martinovich is now recover- shis opinion that "no peace settle- ing from minor lacerations and announed that a special dele- ment can be made until this all- scars in the University Torture gati f American sports writ- portnt qetion has been set- Chmber, known commonly on ers. disguised as Elliot Roose- ted "campus as the health Service. W velt's dogs, have received spe- Others advocated a special pro- Chck That cIal priority to travel to Moscow vision in a revised Atlantic Clar- The match was called a display to clarify President Roosevelt's ter guaranteeing the future of of violent temper and poorly play- recent clarification of the future American baseball, ed sitiations by Fritz Crisler, ref- of Xmerican baseball. Meanwhile, officials of the ere in charge of cleaning the Brooklyn Dodgers announced waistpaper baskets, but the Wol- with additions to your s Iin Expou ndS b the signing of "Baby Face" veres, nonetheless, went into ia'io o MOSCOW-Questioned by Am- Brown, sensational three-year ucommanding one win, no losses, wardrobe. For practi erican reporters as to the fate of old first baseman, who report- three ties, and eleven forfeits totalp i the future of American baseball, edly hit .576 in the Nursery for Conference competition. cal all-around wear, a Joe Stalin said today, "Da." School League last year. His The next match is an over the c Thse answer may be interpreted mother will accompany him on oard affair with Oshkosh State tailored topcoat in pas a ways all ad trips Teachers College, and should pro- spidr a creat test for the Mess and s Bloocy. The Oshkshians have te shades is ideal. -won fourten and one-half straight SO PENnatches this season. Wally Weber, freshman foot- You can't have too - ball and wrestling coach, an- many suits and the finest *O W LIN G.l -nounced today, that all can- Sdidates for the Michigan Pin- of selections is offered ballero Squad should report to 0 /Every Afternoon * the Penny Arcade, downtown this Spring in several v rnear the saloon. Hands and 30 to 6: 3 forearms must be checked by styles, including ardi- Dr. Brace at the Health Service gan necklines ad oth and before reporting for action. an - .rs . ,r . In becomngN Friday,' Saturday, Sunday Evenings pastel colors. Also, high (No Leagues)necklined blouses to flat- COEDS WELCOME COMPLIMENTS ter the suit * 0OF 9 astIH9I G A N c/ RECREATION 2S.a.the Catnpu4 £ThA p 525 East Liberty St.