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THE MICHIGAN DAILY

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THIS, TOO, IS
CHEMISTRY'S DOINGS
THE PITIFUL story of Hepsibah Ann
I'll tell you as faithfully as I can.
Hepsibah lived all the days of her life
With normal amounts of joy and strife.
She'd cut her teeth and learned to walk
And amazingly early she learned to talk.
She went to school and, so I'm told,
She always was just as good as gold,
She played in all the Christmas plays-
And her report card never had much but "A's'
The awkward age she skipped right over
And life was still a bed of clover.
In time she went away to college;
With grace and ease she soaked up knowledge.
And Heppy was hppy as Heppy could be
'Til she made the acquaintance of CHEMISTRY!
The facts of life she thought she knew,
But no one prepared her for Waterloo.
At first, she thought she'd love the stuff.
She thought she had I. Q. enough.
But soon the acids, salts and bases
Left their sad, confusing traces
On wrinkled blow and haggard face
And bidden nails all over the place.
Molecules and electrolytes
Kept her in her room at nights.
She said to calls for recreation,
"Not 'til I solve this damned equation."
She never was able to have any fun:
Reactions and products were never done.
The ways of bismuth, lead and zinc
Left her much too tired to think.
ONCE, she even grew hysterical
With all the compounds amphoterical.
She plugged and pleaded and plodded and plied
And struggled and strived and toiled and tried.
She grew gloomy and groggy and gray and grim
She grew weepy and watery, doleful and dim.
And horror of Horrors! She lost such. weight
She multiplied this steady rate
By the number of weeks to the end of the term.
The result was such as made her squirm.
The thought was truly enough to appall;
When the final came-she'd weigh nothing at all
She sat down quick to curb her fate
To work it out e'er it was too late..
But alas, alas! for Hepsibah Ann,
Who failed her tests again and again.
She couldn't stop trying; she had to get through
The last few weeks and start life anew.
So the days they came and the days they went,
But poor little Hepsibah's life was spent.

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And Now for
$64 Question
In line with its policy of work-
ng insofar as possible to the best
interests of the Ann Arbor stu-
dent body, the Michigan Daily,
with the cooperation of the Uni-
versity Regents, hereby announces
its annual puzzle contest.
Answers to the problem pres-
ented below mu.st be typewritten
double-spaces on one side of the
> paper only and mailed before Mar.
10 to the Student Publications
E : Y .L Building, 624 Gillespie, Cham-
NONE OF TItS STUFF ALLOWED AT V-BALL paign, Ill.
The 15 best answers will receive
5 year complimentary subscrip-
tions to the Michigan dargoyle,
RegVents W Ill R e An I ell-Hall beginning with the March issue.
Z i L" The problem: There are 52
weeks in a year. The University
In Effort To Emphas ze Beautyof Michigan schedules three 16-
I week terms during the year, mak-
Ating---__.___.s-submitted--y ing 48 weeks. Between each term
Acting upon plans submitted by Iteei n eko aain r
the architectural agency design- University Hall, built in 1351 as there is out week of vacation, or-
ing the Univeisity post-war re- an Italian monastery, was trans- ientation, registration and so
construction and revitalization ported to America by Columbus forth, making three more weeks,
program, the Board of Regents us 1492, and moved to Ann Arbor or a total of 51 weeks during the
today approved the resolution to by river steamer in 1816. As there year. Now, for the prizes listed
raze Angell Hall before April 1, were no monks in Michigan at above, what happens to that oth-
"The Regents -have long felt that time, the University was es- er week?
that Angell Ball is nothing more rablished lhtre one year later,
than an eyesore which effectively The Daily joins the Regents in V-BALL BLUES
mars the otherwise unsullied beau- approving the resolution to de- The V-Ball is a lovely thing,
ty of the campus," a spokesman stroy Angell Hall, feeling that At least, so we've been told.
for the Regents announced. "Also what was good enough for our Its praises all the coeds sing,
because it was built right in front grandfathers is good enough for Its wonders are untold.
of University Hall, Angell Hall us, and that such revered works And how those girls rave on and
shuts off the view of that building, of art as U Hall should not be on
thus annoying alumni and ftu- blemished by the proximity of ar- About bands and songs and such.
dents who have come to regard chitectural upstarts. Also Angell But the reason that we've never
U Hall as something like death Hall was built during a Republi- gone.
and taxes," he said. can administration. [s IT COSTS TOO MUCH!


The day of the final she took to her bed;
She couldn't even raise her head.
She turned her face unto the wall,
And breathed her last-and that is all!
MORAL:
When next term's work you try to plan
Remember the fate of Hepsibah Ann.
Those with a chemical turn of mind,
By the way, are very hard to find!.
Those who can are welcome to it.
The rest of us shouldn't try to do it!
-by merry


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Jane

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HERE'S TO VICTORY and
FUTURE J-HOPS.

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