Pnna TwPlva y THE MICHIGAN DAILY

Friday, March 33, m1944 Friday, March 3, 1944

THE MICHIGAN DAILY

Elyse fidvises Frustrnted emales-

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THE TALK.

OF CAMPUS

Who Will Win The BaGlor

Knows fll, Tells It fill,
To Lovesick Coeds

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Dear Elyse,
FOR PROFESSIONAL reasons I'
had to interview a very charm-
ing soldier from across the briney
waves. He suggested we have the
interview over a bottle of beer at
the P-Bell. We did.
It took a long time to finish our
work; night after night we sat at
the P-Bell. Finally the work was
finished; but still we sat at the
P-Bell. Our acquaintance devel-
oped into true friendship-we went
dancing, he asked me for a date
to V-Ball, took me to dinner at
the Sugar Bowl, found me a pair
of NYLONS for Valentine's Day.
I was not adverse to this Atten-
tion; he WAS charming.
But all is not gold that glitters.
A friend, feeling that he had my
better interests at heart, sought
to enlighten me. Alas, my he-man
was married. Not only was he

married, but-. I didn't mind his
wife in Detroit, his fiancee in
Casablanca, his sweetheart in
Australia, his girl in Argentina
and the numerous other friendly
acquaintances crying their hearts
out from London to Oshkosh. No,
I didn't mind. But when it comes
to the four apartments he main-
tains in Ann Arbor, well, there my
patience ceases.
Now my problem is this. So
far he has been a "perfect gen-
tleman." I still enjoy going out
and eating steaks with him. But
what will people think of me!
I was brought up in a good
Methodist family in Kalamazoo
and should hate to have any
shadow cast upon my family.
My friends have always consid-
ered me a "good girl." Some ad-
vise me to stop this "casual ac-

quaintance" before it is too late.
Others, out of morbid curiosity,
advise me to continue this "en-
lightening experiment." On the
basis of your wide experience,
will you please, Elyse, advise me
as to what my attitude should
be?
Trustingly yours,
Troubled Coed
* * *
Dear "Troubled Coed,"
This problem may be new to
you, my dear. But it is one of the
oldest known to woman or devised
by man. His, various interests

so we could have a little time to-
gether. It's so. hard these days
when Navy men are restricted
evenings. And we thought that
geology 65 was the perfect solu-
tion to our problem.
Now this course is going to be
discontinued at least for the dura-
tion. What'll we do?
Sincerely,
Desperate
* * *
Dear Desperate,
YOUR problem is indeed a
serious one. It was certainly
nasty of the University to dis-


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via various sources he will be leav-
ing before April 1.
Now my problem is this: should
I marry him now and take my
chance on the $10,000 insurance
or shall I wait until after the war
and see if the field of millionaires
looks more promising?
Hopefully,
Fluffy
Dear Fluffy,
For heaven's sake, don't mar-
ry him now. Wait until he is a
war hero. Then you can pose as
his sweetheart and in the bar-
gain pose for all kinds of adver-
tisements and make your mil-
lion yourself.
Sympathetically,
Elyse
* * *
Dear Elyse,
AM now a second year graduate
student. I have been dating a
certain senior med student since
my, first year on campus.
It. is unnecessary, under the cir-
cumstances, for me to reveal the
way we feel about each other. I
feel that he must at least be fond
of me or he would not have con-
tinued to take me out so long. An
intelligent woman like I must
think of her future, not that I
haven't done a lot of thinking
about it. I could be a big help to
him in his profession and have no
objection to becoming a doctor's
wife.
But he hasn't even held my
hand. That, I understand, is the
first step. I use Listerine, Life-
buoy, Mum, Lux, Pepsodent, Drene
and Lady Esther's four-way beauty
treatment. Please tell me what I
can do to develop some S.A., or
South American glamour.
Desperately,
A Frustrated Female
*' *~ *
Dear Frustrated Female,
These are indeed trying times
and women must assure their
future. Therefore I am going to
give you some advice which cer-
tain persons would have consid-
ered indecent even a couple of
years ago.
This is leap year. Another
one won't come for another four
years. Gal, make hay while the
sun shines.
Broadmindedly,
Elyse

or

,,.,,., ,,,ti~ ,,.,.,. -

(Continued from Page 9)

ing, "Well, I guess-I'd better go
home and talk it over with my
roommate."
WhMt Next?
For years now we have been de-
voted followers of the Marlboro
(America's luxury sigarette) ad-
vertisements. We took comfort
from the thought that even though
it was "Goodbye for now to tea
dances and late parties. . . thank
heavens," there were still Marl-
boro cigarettes. ,We reflected up-
on the fact that even though "NO
cigarette, of course, can make a
woman beautitful" they can "em-
phasize her charm . . . accent the
perfection of her choice."
Prize blurb: "Day into night!
Uniform into ostrich plumes;long
lush gloves, distinguished Marl-
boro cigarettes."
The last advertisement, how-
ever, was too much even for our
sophisticated tastes. Clad only in
the scanttiest of scanties and high
heeled pumps, the blase Marlboro
girl remarked that even in the
busy rush'of modern life she still
had time for her precious cigar-
ette,
We've switched to Marvels,
thanks.
Just Listening.. .
These following remarks were
overheard while we lounged
through Angell Hall and peeped
into classrooms and heard radios
blaring forth from various soror-
ity houses. Their propensity de-
mands that they be put down for
the benefit of posterity.
Will Jack Armstrong ever grad-
uate from high school?
(On Prof. Carr's Sociology final)
The class had been chafing under
the most terrific exam the soc
department had ever given. One
student demanded that Prof. Carr
be thrown out forwriting such an
exam. Said Prof. Carr:
"Feel free to go out for a smoke
any time you want to." Where-
upon the entire class got up and
walked out -with their books.
Class average-98.9 per cent.
Said Prof. Joe Kallenbach, "I
wonder if Little Orphan Anne will
ever find her daddy WarbUcks."
Said one student to another,
"Did you hear the Prof. Sleator
vibrates in simple harmonic mo-
tion on his bike?"
Prof. James K. Pollock, well-
known authority on British gov-
ernment, seemed quite worried the
other day. When accosted by an
enterprising member of the press,
he said:
"Can a little mining girl marry,
a rich and powerful English
Lord?"
An advance copy of Prof. A. D.
Moore's forthcoming speech to the
freshman engineers was received
by The Daily. Meaty quotes fol
-low:
"Now gentlemen the prime pre-
requisite for a good billiard play-

er is calm cool collectedness. In
my days, bent over the green, I
have found that the three finger
method is most advantageous . . .
always hold the cue thus . . .nev-
er slouch . . an engineer is al-'
ways upstanding in every walk of
life . what you do depends
upon your alertness and constant
attention to your studnes . .
never take the easy shots . . . the
next session will be held-on the
second floor of the Union."
And with the resounding notes
of Bula Bula echoing through the
halls of the venerated building of
study, we left wondering if every-
one was crazy, too. Are you?

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Special to The Daily
ANN ARBOR, March 3.-(PU) their troops for a frontal assault.
-Fighting the unprecedented Advancing slowly through the
attle of Ann Arbor, the 1,500 odd International Center the Cheaver
trong men of the V-12 unit have girls--15 strong-have lined up
oined in battle with the unheard spit ball's, pea shooters and sling
f strength of the girls of Adella shots for the final attack.
:heaver House, it was reported The Navy men, armed with bilge
ast night. water and fire extinguishers, have
The old University of Michigan gone without sleeping or eating to
Nest Quad, scene of many an his- keep trim for the big fight.
oric incident in life, has been Cornelia Owe us Fatter, com-
.rned into the Navy headquarters mander-in-cheese for the AC girls,
nd Monroe Street, once traveled made this statement to the press
y scooters and kiddie cars has last night:
ecome the scene of battle. "I have nothin' to say."
It was learned from devious In a counter move, Anadoplis
ources and less devious persons Gizzard, a/s, spec/3rd class, reeled
that both sides are regrouping in horror at the audacity of the

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throughout the world do not an-
noy you; the nylons you like; the
steaks you relish; you don't object
to his company. And in these days,
little girl, one must think a bit
less of her reputation and a bit
more of her social status. Stay'
away from the apartments, accept
the nylons, and what have you got
to lose?
Sincerely,
Elyse

continue this course. The au-
thorities undoubtedly did not
realize the unique place it fills
in college life. You could, of
course, petition. Everyone peti-
tions these days. But I think,
after long discussions with Mich-
gan alumni, that the easiest
course for you both to take would
be that enlightening study of-
fered at the University on Japa-
nese Enkaustics.
Thoughtfully,
Elyse
Dearest Elyse,
My man is in the Army Special-
ized Training Program here. Ac-
cording to the latest word I have
received direct from Washington


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P.S.: You may not approve of
my advice. In such case, for god's
sake, send him to me.
Dear Elyse,
My man, who is studying here
under the V-12 program, and I
were planning to take geology 65



JUST A REMINDER.. .


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If you date starts to hail a taxi,
stop him, take a bus-or walk, and
make him promise to buy Stamps
with the savings. . . If; .. If the
prof is late to class, dun him for
a Stamp toward scholarship bonds.
If you are late, let him turn the
tables and dun you.
Oh, go on, stop your kidding.
* * *
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