Poge7wenty-Two THE MICHIGAN DAILY
Fhdoy, Morch_ 3, 1944 Friday, March 3, 1944
THE MICHIGAN DAILY
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GRIN AND BEAR IT
"At! It's a pleasure to give all I got without having to fill
out a return for doing it!"-
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1113 South University
Tale of Terrible Three
Inspires Contest; Prize
Is a Fur-Lined Bathtub
From the wastebasket we -glean-
ed this true story just before it
went to the junk heap. Do you
think it should have stayed there?
Twas the night before the Ohio
State game and a few of the boys
were whooping it up down at the
Nothing drunken or anything
about their imbibing. The boys
were gentle, but firm and Telt a
Michigan victory on the morrow
was a sure thing. They were hav-
ing a good time on the money they
knew they would make the next
day on their bets.
Well, Al-we will call him Al,
tho his friends have many other
monicers-and his buddies had
been at the Bell with a rushee.
That is fraternity parlance for
seducing a sucker.
After realizing their potential
and tiring of the many treks up
and down the stairs, Al and his
friends with the rushee( described
above) waltzed out into the street
and proceeded home, or so they
One gent in the crowd who
fashioned himself a Charles Atlas
for his lady friends-both of them
-extended himself perpendicular
to a one-hour parking sign. Under
his sheer wait the sign collapsed
carrying our friend to the side-
walk, and leaving him open to a
law suit - disturbing the public
Undaunted the trio marched
along until the second member of
the party espied another one hour
parking sign and picked it up to
carry down the street.
Singing and dancing merrily
down the street, the boys were by
no' means drunk - and carrying
their beloved sign the Terrible
Three journeyed onward.
But then it happened. Three of
Sherm Mortenson's boys-he is the
police chief and his friends all
call him Sherm-whipped around
the corner and hauled the Terrible
Three into the jug.
Al told them that his dad, Big
Jack, would settle and could they
NO-they didn't go and. haven't
to this day. There is a suit now
spending in court charging the
police with obstructing the work-
ings of nature.
This is the story as far as we
dare print it. It is going to be
entered in the international Pipit-
zer Contest and The Daily is of-
fering three unused fur lined bath
tubs'and two slightly worn man-
hole co ers for the best ending
submitted by midnight tonight.
Victory by 'Mt
By BABRIE LGEATER
(Special to The Daily)
WITH THE 48TH ARMY
TROOPS IN A FOXHOLS-MAR.
3-In a smashing three minute
advance, our forces, buttressed by
what reliable sources called- the
greatest array of mule power in
history, smashed through the en-
emy forces north of Hear.,
Our reports are wholly uncon-
firmed but it is not too much to
say that the strength of our forces
Love Takes NO
Back Seat at
"Kiss me, kiss me," he said pas-
sionately as the soft strains of a
haunting love song carried his
words into the gayety of the ball-
His soul-stirring words brought
her closer to him and they both
crouched down behind a pillar to
escape the watchful eye of the
"Kiss me," he demanded anew
with his eyes gleaming and re-
flecting the happiness that was
She hesitated. Should she,
could she. She wondered in sheer
amusment when of a sudden these
words interrupted her musing.
"What year are you in school,"
he said cautiously extending "his
wrist till he touched her back.
"Shy I am a freshman," she
said modestly shrinking away.
"How old are you," he inquired
as if he were a registrar in a dia-
"I am twenty-one," she respond-
ed, squaring her shoulders to her
full six feet.
"Let rue see, your liquor ration
card, your driver's license, and
your ident' card," he demanded
casting his glance while he rum-
aged through her purse.
All identification bore out her
statements. She was twenty-one,
she was a freshman at Michigan.
"A fellow has got to look out for
himself these days. It's leap year,"
he saidsmiling candidly.
Without further discussion he
proceded to kiss her. Moral-
Girls, don't forget your driver's
license, ident card, or liquor ra-
onden TelIs of
indicates that the two armies will
soon join in mortal combat.
It Could Be
It was reported yesterday, by
I an authoritative source that what-
ever move the *eneiny attempts
twill be hastily parried by our
troops. On the other hand the
problem of. supply in' this quag-
mire battlefield has complicated
the entire military situation and
Tit looks as if the show will con-
I tinue after a two-week lull.
Gen. Mitee Bascopolis, comman-
der in chief in this foxhole, inti-
mated yesterday that big things
are liable to happen any day now.
I quote from Gen. Bascopolis,
"'It is possible that we might pro-
ceed to new heights, but, on the
other hand the situation at this
point looks grave. We may have
to retreat a few inches to re-gTroup
our troops (both of them) but we
can say without reservation 'that
the strength of the enemy is rather
Of course, this does not lead us
to a pessimistic point of view. We
have our forces and they have
theirs. We can wait."
While waiting for the general,
I took the liberty of scouting
around for the ground troops and
found many interesting things.
Military censorship prevents me
from telling you what I saw.
On the Other Hand
Realizing that you folks back
home would enjoy what our boys
are thinking and saying out here,
I questioned a few the other day.
Military censorship prevents me
from revealing what they said.
The other day I narrowly missed
getting killed. It happened this
way. I was in an advance scout
platoon that was attempting to
encircle the enemy.rWedproceeded
cautiously. We learned nothing.
But while on the mission, two
native bys were playing Robin
Hood in the field near ... and let
fly an arrow. I just ducked into
my foxhole, pulled over my steel
helmet and threw up my barricade
But then all this military man-
euvering can lead to only one
thing. With conditions being right,
the weather, supplies, morale, etc.,
it will happen..
Watch for my eyewitness ac-,
count of the battle of Gadzups in
tomorrow's installment, barring
military censorship, I shall have
some startling facts for you.
KEEP YOUR BOSOM UP
for the more mature.
There's still -hope, girls-.
Yes, neig ,yon '
quiet, self-effacing yoA, are a li ngdart
and parcel of the biggest, toughest, bloodiest
war in all the hard pages of history.
You can't escape it. You can't hide out on
For here is a war EVERYBODY is in. The
man behind the plow. The kid in knee pants:
The oldster with the cane. The housewife
with the market basket. The white-collar
worker. The blue-collar worker. The girl
We're ALL in it-lock, stock, body, and
If erica loses, you lose. If America goes
down (and it can), you go down, too. And
every decent thing goes down with you ;s
that home, that hearth, that patch of ground,
that blessed freedoms
The only way to save these things is to win
And the only way to win is to out-build, out-
gun, out-plane, and out-fight. the enemy-to
make him sick at the sound of a propeller, the
sight of a tank, the roar of a bomb.
to pledge-not the least, but
doing your part you'll be helpi
60,000 planes, 45,000 tanks, 20
eight million tons of shipping,*
TO WIN! Remember, you ca
buying Stamps for as little as 1
$25 (maturity value) Bond (Ser
That's where yoo come in.
For, brother and sister, building these things
takes money. Lots of it! And your Govern-
ment needs that money right now! Not for
keeps; They don't want you to give it away.
They just want you to lend it to them.
Invest every dime, quarter, half-dollar, and
dollar you can lay your hands on in U. &
Stamps and Bonds. Not just spare money
but money you can't spare. Dig deep. Deny
yourself. This is war!
Make every pay day Bond day. Make every
day Stamp day. Start doing it this very day!
ENLIST YOUR CURRENT SAVINGS FOR VICTORY
See in this table how your savings, set aside regulr/ly by
you-and by every American with an income-reach 10
ailiien 4olars uEst one year! The&- make'up yor mind"
And IN one
vsave year you
ach will save
DRINK MORE MILK
OVER 200 _..
I ~ 11
ANN AROR CITY MILK DISTRIBUTORS
312 SOUTH STATE
Alpha Chi Omega
*Alpha Delta Pi
Aloha Epsilon Phi
Alpha Gamma Delta
Alpha Omicron Pi
Alpha Tan Omega
Alpha Xi Delta
eta Theta Phi
Delta Delta Delta.
Gamma Phi Beta
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