THE MICHIGAN DAILY sUNIMY, JANU I
4r Mid jittn taiIy
.. ...T.:f/? The C~rruption
otethove p SlIt
By TOM TaUMB
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Edited and managed by students of the University of
Michigan under the authority of the Board in Control
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Member, Associated Collegiate Press, 1941-42
THIS is the true story of Beethoven Splatt, a
songwriter by profession.-
Mr. Beethoven Splatt (he has just recently
acquired the "Mr.") was on December 1 a poor-
but-fairly-honest, hard-working songwriter. He
had to his credit a few notable successes, such
as A Moon, A Baboon and You; I Love You In
Fourteen Languages; You Are My Moonshine;
You're the Flame in My Furnace; and I Love
You, I Think.
With the coming of the emergency he had
written two smash hits: You Can't Curtail Pro-
duction of Love and I Want a Priority On You.
They made him $100 each, so he loosened his
belt a little.
Then came the fateful day that corrupted
Beethoven Splatt.
That day was December 7, 1941. The United
States was ruthlessly attacked by Japan. The
United States was completely unprepared for
the attack because the higher-ups on our is-
lands didn't see any reason for being on guard.
AT 2:30 p.m., December 7, " Beethoven Splatt
wag listening to Harry Honeyhips and his
Orchestra play the latest Splatt masterpiece,
I Have No Defense Against You, when the pro-
gram went off the air. Beethoven S. cursed
slightly because they cut off his song, but he
listened intently to the announcement:
"A bulletin from the Associated Press. Pearl
Harbor, Hawaii, was bombed by what were be-
lieved to be Japanese planes early this morning."
Beethoven Splatt clicked off the radio, and a
radiant smile lit his face. "Oh boyoboyoboyoboy!
I'm rich!" said he, as he jumped to his piano.
In fifteen minutes he' had pounded out what
was to be the battle cry of all the armchair
soldiers and crooning corporals of this war-,
Remember How They Dismembered Pearl Har-
bor.
The tune he stole from John Phillips Sousa.
It was neat. It could be played by fife and drum
to the steady accompaniment of dripping blood.
The words reninded one and all how the soldiers
in Pearl Harbor had died Cin their sleep) for
liberty. It was wonderfully aglow with revenge
and bloodthirsty cries that would go over big
with the old people and the men with defense
jobs.
HE PHONED Kornier & Kornier, the music
publishers, and told them jubilantly that (1)
Pearl Harbor had been attacked and (2) he,
E
Emile Gel .
Alvin Daxn
David Lachenbruch
Editorial Staff
. Managing Editor
. . .Editorial Director
* City Editor
Jay McCormick
Hal Wilson
Arthur Hill
Janet Hiatt
Grace Miller
Virginia Mitchell
Daniel H. Fiuyett
James B. Collins
Louise Carpenter
Evelyn Wright
. Associate
Sports
Assistant Sports
~Women's
. Assistant Women's
. . . . .Exchange
Business Staff
Editor
Editor
Editor
Editor
Editor
Editor
Beethoven Splatt, had written the great war
song of THIS war.' Naturally Kornier & Kornier
were all excited. "Wonderful," said Mr. Kornier,
"this gets us out of debt! Wonderful, the Mi-
kado! Wonderful! Couldn't have been better
timed! We've got to win this war, and, by God,
Kornier & Kornier will help! Oh Boy!"
So Beethoven Splatt sold Remember How
They Dismembered Pearl Harbor, and began
working on the sequel, Remember Wake Island,
Variety magazine said, after a week: "Biz is
great for the pubs. R. H. T. D. P. H. ought to
be biggest boff since I Didn't Raise My Boy To
Be a Soldier. Royalties began pouring in. Nickels
from juke-boxes, recording fees, sheet-music
royalties,-$100, $200, $300. Beethoven Splatt
moved off Third Avenue to the Bronx.
Remember Wake Island was a smash hit.
Then came Let's Remember Guam, Remember
Manila and Remember Midway. Royalties grew
-$400, $500, $1,000, $1,500, $2,000. Beethoven
Splatt moved to Riverside Drive.
THEN Beethoven Splatt turned to a new field,
the hate songs. Those Nasty Nazis, The Japs
Let's Kill, Their Blood Let's Spill; I Want To
Get a Dead Jap On the End of My Bayonet.
Those songs-went over, so he wrote Dear Mother,
a portion of the lyric of which follows:
Dear Mother: Soon through the mails
I will send you a nasty old Jap's entrails-
$5,000, $7,000. Beethoven Splatt appeared on
Kate Smith's program and got a medal for be-
ing one of her "Fascism Fighters." $10,000,
$15,000. Beethoven Splatt moved to a Park
Avenue penthouse. $20,000, $25,000. Beethoven
Splatt bought a defense stamp (for the news-
reels).
Meanwhile, the boys in the Army weren't
singing Remember/ Wake Island and The Japs
Let's Kill, but Chattanooga Choo Choo.
It was at home that °Splatt's songs prospered.
Such illustrious bands as Frankie Masters, Kay
Kyser, Sammy Kaye and other great swing
bands made Beethoven Splatt's songs famous.
$50,000.. $75,000. Beethoven Splatt branched
out. He wrote another-perhaps his greatest-
I Love America. $100,000, $125,000. Then came
My Country Right or Wrong. $150,000, $200,000.
Then the new draft registration. I'm Glad To
Serve America, said Beethoven Splatt musically,
as he was awarded the rank of Major in the
Morale Division.
YES, Beethoven Splatt kept the morale high
at home. He kept them singing I'll Bring
Back the German's Liver In My Good'Old Army
Flivver. Kept the people's minds on the beauti-
ful things, like gouging out Japanese eyes.
So Beethoven Splatt prospered and grew fat.
But one day Beethoven Splatt became sad.
There was grave danger of peace.
Soon came the peace treaty. Everybody re-
joiced. That is, everybody but Beethoven Splatt.
He tried to write peace songs. He tried and
tried, but he Just couldn't. He tried for five
years, but he didn't produce one hit.
Beethoven Splatt soon became a drunkard and
died a pauper and a failure. A failure because
he was still geared to a war economy.
. Business Manager
Associate Business Manager
Women's Advertising Manager
Women's Business Manager
NIGHT EDITOR: GEORGE W. SALLADV
The editorials published in The Michigan
Daily are written by members of 'The Daily}
staff and represent the? views of the writers'
only.
L
Ii
Criticism Of State
Department Un justifed .'.
CURRENT CRITICISMS of the State
Department should arouse the ire
of every sporting American. Obviously designed
to place, once and for all, the blame for govern-
ment indecisiveness, it is based wholly on art-
fully fabricated stories of short-sightedness and
inefficiency which seem ridiculous when applied
to the concise, uncorrupted workings of Cordell
Hull's Department of State.
Specifically we refer to an article in last
week's "New Republic" in which the state de-
partment-Secretary Hull is exonerated with
the rather dubious statement that he probably
didn't know what was going on-is blamed for
not having upheld the Free French seizure of
Vichy possessions, for not having taken more
active steps to prevent Japanesq aggression in
the Far East, and finally, with perhaps more
justification, for not having allowed anti-Axis
refugees free access to this country. Altogether
the charge seems to be that department leaders'
refused to take a war-like attitude when the
country was at peace and that now they refuse
to unnecessarily antagonize neutral countries.
It is true that we had declared ourselves against
the Axis' policy of aggression long before an
actual declaration of war, and had taken 'an
active part in supplying Britain's war needs.
Nevertheless, the fact that we were not yet at
war with the Axis and are not now at war with
France remains, and even if this is to be taken
as a technicality, it undoubtedly serves to
dampen any belligerent stand which the depart-
ment of state might choose to take.
T HE PROBLEM with which the state depart-
ment was faced before the war was immense.
It was asked to keep a semblance of neutrality
in a country which had shown itself a bellig-
erent. Furthermore, the department was strain-
ing every effort, as were all other agencies, to
keep this country out of an actual shooting
conflict. The President's policy of undeclared
belligerency made this task doubly difficult..
Wobbling indecisiveness was the apparent pol-
icy of the government from the first, and state.
department activities naturally reflected this
stand. Yet the pronouncement of the state de-
partment as the chief offender in this respect
is a gross exaggeration. j
Today, faced with an almost overwhelming
record of Allied failures in battle, the state de-
partment is asked to recognize the Free French
advance against Vichy. It is asked to risk final
alienation of the Vichy government and the
probability that the French fleet will fall once
and for all, into German hands with an action
that even on the credit side, can do little more
than fortify the morale of the handful of Free
French soldiers still fighting Naziism.
THE STATE DEPARTMENT could not and
can not possibly do more than follow the
lead of the President and Congress as to the
stand to be taken. The disposaL which Secre-
tary Hull and his associates made of the ques-
tions before them are the only ones possible.
Criticism made of pre-war decisions now that
the country is at war, are not only belated but
bear no relation to the reality of the situation,
and criticisms made of the attitude taken toward
Free French aggression seem not to be justified.
- H. Ja Slautterback
Drew PednoIs
4tec60$0~e
DAILY OFFICIAL
BULLETIN
(Continued from Page 2)
Physical Education for Women:
Individual sport tests in Badminton,
Fencing, Swimming, Riding and Ice
Skating in the regular class periods.
Students not enrolled in classes
who wish to take the tests should in-
quire in Office 15, Barbour Gymnasi-
um as to the time when these classes
meet.
Recreational Leadership for Wo-
men: Students planning to register
for this course as a part of their
Physical Education for the second
semester should file an application
blank in Office 15, Barbour Gym-
nasium, by January 24.
Concerts
Choral Union Concert: Robert Ca-
sadesus, French pianist, will give the
seventh program in the Choral Un-
ion Concert Series, Monday, Janu-
ary 19, at 8:30 o'clock, in Hill Audi-
torium. The program will consist of
numbers by Rameau, Schumann,
Chopin, de Severac, Debussy and
Ravel.
A limited number of tickets for
remaining concerts are still avail-
able.
Palmer Christian, University Or-
ganist, will resume his Wednesday
Afternoon Organ Recitals on January
21, at 4:15 p.m. in Hill Auditorium.
Compositions of Buxtehude, Purcell,
Rheiberger,bBingham, Miller and
Barnes will be included in the pro-
gram.
The general public is invited but
small children will not be admitted.
Harold Fishman, '42M, will pre-
sent a piano recital al 8:30 p.m.,
Tuesday, January 20, in Lydia Men-
delssohn Theater. The concert, in
partial fulfillment of the require-
ments for the Bachelor of Music de-
gree, will be complimentary to the
general public:
Exhibitions
Exhibition, College of Architecture
and Design: A display .of work by
members of Alpha Alpha Gamma,
national honorary society for women
in architecture and the allied arts, is
being shown in the ground floor
cases, Architecture Building, from
January 13 through January 21. Open
daily 9 to 5 except Sunday. The pub-
lic is invited.
Ann Arbor Art Association: A com-
prehensive showing of all phases of
work of the Michigan Art and Craft
Project of the Works Administration,
represented by photograph and a
number of representative actual
works in ceramics, textiles, furniture,
etc. Rackham galleries, 2-5 and 7:30-
9:00, January 19 through January
31, except Sunday. Open to the pub-
lic.
Lectures
University Lecture: Miss Margaret
Bondfield, former member of the Bri-
tish Cabinet, will lecture on the sub-
ject, "How Labor Fights," at 4:15
p.m., Tuesday, January 20, in Rack-
ham Auditorium, under the auspices
of the Department of Economics.
The public is cordially invited.
Lecture, College of Architecture
and Design: Mr.Tirrell J. Ferrenz,
Executive Assistant of the Home Ow-
ners' Loan Corporation, Washington,
D.C., will speak on "Costs of Com-
munity Improvement Projects," on
Monday, January 19, at 4:15 p.m. in
Room 101 Archetecture Building. The
public is invited.
French Lecture: Mr. Andre Mor-
ize, Professor of French Literature at
Harvard University and Director of
the Summer French School at Mid-
dlebury College, Vt., will give the
fourth of the French Lectures spon-
sored by the Cercle Francais, on
Thursday, January 22, at 4:15 p.m.
in the Rackham Amphitheatre. The
title of his lecture is: "La Reconstruc-
tion de la France apres 1871."
Tickets for the series of lectures
may be procured from the Secretary
of the Department of Romance Lang-
uages (Room 112, Romance Lanuage
Building) or at the door at the time
of the lecture for a small sum. Hold-
ers of these tickets are entitled to
admission to all lectures, a small
additional charge being made for the
annual play. These lectures are open
to the general public.
Lecture: Dr. Gregory Vlastos, Pro-
fessor of Philosophy at Queen's Uni-
versity in Ontario, will be the last
speaker on the series on "The Fail-
ure of Skepticism?" sponsored by
The Newman Club, The B'nai B'rith
Hillel Foundation, and Inter-Guild,
at the Rackham Lecture Hall on
Sunday, January 18, at 8:15 p.m.
Events Today
International Center: A "Pictorial
Review" of the semester's activties
at the InternationaldCenter will be
presented on the Sunday evening pro-
gram at the Center,tonight, January
18, at 7:30,. following the regular
supper. Slides of the International
Dinner and other social and athletic
events, as well as slides of the Cam-
WASHINGTON-Ben Smith, the famous "Sell
'Em Short" Smith of Wall Street, poses as
something of an expert on foreign affairs. And
although he gets in a lot of people's hair, he has
had a good batting average for accuracy.
One notable instance was in the early spring
of 1940 when Ben Smith told various Washing-
tonian bigwigs, including White House Secretary
Steve Early, that Norway and the Low Countries
soon would fall into Hitler's hands like a ripe
apple.' Smith also prophesied that France was
rotten inside and would fall to Hitler in no time.
Steve Early boiled over with wrath when he
heard this pessimistic prophecy and expressed
the opinion, that Ben Smith was selling the
Allies just as short as he has sometimes sold the
Stock Market. However, within a few weeks the
prophecy came true.
Last week Smith was in Washington with an-Y
other interesting report. He was the last man
out of Germany before war was declared against
the United States, and declares that never has
the morale of the German people been lower.
The winter of 1939, he reports, was not so bad.
The winter of 1940 was worse, but the German'
people kept their spirits up fairly well. But this
winter, Smith says, is indescribable. The effect
of collecting furs and clothing to be sent to the
German Army at the Russian front, the effect
of wounded coming back, and death notices to
relatives, have shaken the German people to the
core.
While 6mith was not in Germany when war
was actually declared against the United States,
he is confident that news of America's entry into
the war was a smashing blow to German morale.
e .1
Domini Says
t"' 1942, Chicago 'im's. In..
Reg U S Pat. Off, All RtP R&
"Honorable Tokyo radio just announce that we have destroyed 12
American battleships!-those are your orders for today!"
4
Ad
.,
4
GRIN AND BEAR IT
By Lichty
CAN A MAN know God? Can there be a God at
once all powerful, all wise and all good?
Would such a deity permit war, much less allow
the present-day persecution of the Jews or the
vast sadism practiced in certain nations? So runs
the query of perplexed persons trying to make
sense out of our wdrld.
Thomas H. Green,. the great English idealist,
held that an examination of desire and will must
certainly lead to belief in an absolute moral per-
son, God. Paul Elmer More, an American, a
very different type of thinker, began far from
the place where Green started, but in his work
entitled "The Skeptical Approach to Religion,"
came to the conclusion that an ethical theism
grounded in man's sense of purpose and attested
by the incarnation of God in Jesus Christ, is the
only adequate explanation of life.
When the events of our era, the pain you feel
at the suffering of fellow men and the need of
sympathy in the world, lead you to religious and
philosophical inquiry, therefore, be assured that
you are in line with many of the world's greatest
souls as well as in the mood of the seers and
the saviors.
H WAR, for some, will settle questions. It
wilsettle them at least temporarily, for it
will compel action. Many will walk forth from
doubt, accept the assignment of those in author-
ity and experience a new release. Others will
come upon a vast sea of questions formerly non-
existent, but will be inspired to a type of judg-
ment which previously would have been impos-
sible. Some, like the great Captain Kelly in the
China Sea engagements, will stand forth in hero-
ism peculiar to the age of mechanized war and
superb among the recent makers of military his-
tory. These "softies" about whom so many have
written will vindicate themselves and our youth
will emerge ordinary, great , or creative as did
their fathers and grandfathers. This is-enough.
In those struggles, it is the function of religion
to paint the ideal as a goal and to conserve the
values rediscovered.
Throughout history, as well as across the pages
of literature and down the centuries of spiritual
aspiration, God is found in a heart experience.
Graduate Outing Club will meet
today at 2:30 p.m. at the clubrooms,
rear west door Rackham. Activities
depend upon the weather. Skating if
ice persists.
The group photograph for the
Michigan 'Ensian of the members of
La Sociedad Hispanica will be taken
at Rentschler's Studio (319 E. Hur-
on) at 12:30 p.m. today. All mem-
bers are requested to be present.
Ushering Committee for Theatre
Arts: Sign up at once for the film
"The Strong Man" being given to-
night. Ten ushers are needed. The
list is posted in the Undergraduate
office in the League. Be in the up-
stairs Lobby of the Mendelssohn
'theatre at 7:45 p.m.
Thy Art Cinema League is bring-
ing twq old-time comedies to the
Lydia Mendelssohn, Theatre tonight
at 6:30 and 8:15 p.m. Harry Lang-
don will be featured in "The Strong
Man," and Mr. and Mrs. Sidney Drew
in "The Professional Patient." Tic-
kets are available at the League and-
also at the box office at the above
hours.
Coming Events
The Research Club will meet in the
Rackham Amphitheatre Wednesday
evening, January 21, at eight o'clock.
The papers to be read are: "Shake-
speare's Imagery" by Professor Here-
ward T.,Price, and "The Bird Fauna
of Yucatan". by Professor Josselyn
Van Tyne.
Graduate History Club will meet
Tuesday, January 20, at 8:00 p.m. in
the East Conference Room of the
Rackham Building. Dean Yoakum
will speak on "The Effect of the War
on Graduate. Study." All graduate
students in history are invited.
Beta Chapter, Iota Alpha: The ni-
tiation banquet will be held Monday,
January 19, at 6:15 p.m. in the Mich-
igan Union. Dean Ivan C. Crawford
will speak on "The Place of the En-
gineering Graduates in OurWar
Effort." Place reservations with Leo
B. Bicher, Jr., 2028 E. Engineering
Building.
Tau Beta Pi will have a dinner
meeting on Tuesday, January 20, at
6:15 p.m. in the Union. Some foot-
ball movies of Michigan games will
-be shown.
German Table for Faculty Mem-
bers will meet Monday at 12:10 p.m.
in the Founders' Room Michigan
Union. Members of all departments
are cordially invited. There will be
a briefrtalk on "Eindruecke von Pan-
I ama" by Mr. H. J. Wolff.
Hiawatha Club meeting at 8 o'clock
on Wednesday at the Union. All com-
mittees be ready to report. All Up-
per Peninsula students are cordially
invited. Refreshments will be served.
Theatre-Arts Properties Committee
will meet on Monday at 4:45 p.m. at
the League. Attendance is compul-
sory.
The Fellowship of Reconciliation
will meet on Monday evening at 7:00
in Lane Hall. Some problems relating
to civilian defense will be discussed.
Bibliophiles Section of Women's
Faculty Club will meet on Tuesday,
January 20, at 2:30 pm. at the home
of Mrs. H. B. Merrick, 928 Church
St.
The Faculty Women's Club will be
given a concert by the University of
Michigan Sinfonietta, with Thor
Johnson as conductor, at its next
meeting on Wednesday, January 21,
at 3:15 p.m. at the Lydia Mendel-
ssohn Theatre. The Michigan Dames
meeting at 6:00 p.m. Movies on In-
dia. Fellowship hour and supper fol-
lowing the meeting. The Graduate
Group will meet with the rest of the
Guild.
Bible Class Monday night at 7:30
in Room 214. Dr. Brashares will lead
the discussion on "Race."
The 'Ann Arbor Society of Friends
will hold their meeting for worship
at 5:00 p.m. Sunday in Lane Hall. A
simple fellowship supper will follow.
The First Baptist Church: 10:15
a.m. Undergraduate class with Rev.
C. H. Loucks in the Guild House.
Graduate class with Prof. Charles
Brassfield in the church.
11:00 a.m. Sermon: "Making Life
Religious."
6:30 p.m. Roger Williams Guild
meeting. The Guild will meet at the
Guild House for a social hour and
worship and then go together to
Rackham Lecture Hall to hear Dr.
Gregory Vlastos on "The Failure of
Skepticism?"
Memorial Christian Church (Dis-
ciples): 10:45 a.m. Morning Worship,
Rev. Frederick Cowin, Minister.
7:00 p.m. Disciples Student Guild.
There will be a meeting at the Guild
House, 438 Maynard Street, for an-
zouncements, tea, and a'social hour.
The Guild will go in a group to the
Rackham Lecture Hall to hear Dr.
Gregory Vlastos speak on "The Fail-
ure of Skepticism."
Zion Lutheran Church: Church
Worship Service at 10:30 a.m. with
sermon by Rev. E. C. Stellhorn on
"Fruits of Faith."
Trinity Lutheran Church: Church
Worship Service at 10:30 a.m. with
sermon by Rev. Henry O. Yoder on
"The Church, the Spiritual Torch."
First Congregational Church: 10:45
a.m. Services held in Lydia Mendel-
ssohn Theatre of the Michigan Lea-
gue. Dr. Leonard A. Parr, minister,
will preach on the subject, "The Tide
in the Affairs of Men."
5:30 pm. Ariston League, high
school group, in Pilgrim Hall. Mrs.
Ann Vicary Mercer will lead a dis-
cussion on "Boy and Girl Relation-
ships." Supper will be served.
7:15 p.m. Student Fellowship in
the church parlors. Prof. Thomas S.
Lovering will talk on "The Conscien-
tious Objector in a Nation at War."
Tuesday, 4:00-5:00 p.m. Student
tea in Pilgrim Hall.
The Church of Christ will meet for
Scripture study at 10:00 a.m. Sun-
day in the Y.M.C.A. At 11:00 a.m.
the morning worship sermon theme
will be "God's Call for a Restorative
Return." At the evening service, 7:30
p.m., Garvin M. Toms, minister, will
preach on "The Harmony of Doctrine
and Life." The regular midweek
Bible Study will be held Wednesday,
January 21, at 7:30, p.m. Everyone
is invited to all services.
First Church of Christ, Scientist:
Sunday morning service at 10:30.
Subject: "Life."
Sunday School at 11:45. a.m.
First Presbyterian Church: Morn-
ing Worship 10:45. "Why We Pray,"
subject of the sermon by Dr. Lemon.
Westminster Student Guild: Sup-
per and fellowship hour at 6:00 pm.
Dr. Benjamin J. Bush of Detroit will
give a talk on "God's World-Order-
What Does It Offer?" All students
cordially invited.
Michigan Christian Fellowship will
meet this afternoon at 4:30 p.m. in
the Fireplace Room of Lane Hall. All
students are cordially invited to be
present for the program.
Unity Meeting: Mrs. Blanche Yoki,
RECORDS-
Corny War Songs Clutter
Record Market
Corn seems to be the order of the day, and
we plunge deep into the cornfield with two new
war songs recorded by Frankie Masters for
OKeh. The A side is Goodbye, Momma, I'm Off
For Yokohama, which is just about as bad as
you might think it would be. The reverse is
The Sun Will Soon Be Setting On the Land of
the Rising Sun.
Freddy Martin gives that disgusting song,
Popocatepetl, more of a raison d'etre with his
Bluebird almost-swing arrangement. If songs
like this have to conme out give us more arrange-