THE MICHIGAN D.AILY

Open Letters To Santa Claus
Letters to Santa Claus pour in ev- Dear Santa Claus; 1 Dear Santa;
ry day-into the dead letter office of Funny me writing to you. Mabel I dear Santa, am an ordinary
ourse-and it seems like the ole and the kids or the boss sure would coed. Perhaps you don't know what
ent Will have a merry time satisfy- laugh to see me now. Probably that means, but it is a sad plight-
would send me off to the nuthouse indeed a sad plight. You see an
ng everybody's wishes. or something. ordinary coed just isn't anybody at
Not to be outdone by such national This isn't a bad place to work, all. I wear sloppy sweaters, but
igures as Eleanor Roosevelt, Henry Santa. Being a janitor is all right if they aren't the sloppiest on campus.
IcLemore and Vic Reed, who have you can't be President or anything I have long hair, but it isn't the
lready approached Santa. on the longest on campus. I can sing, I
ubject, the boys and girls of the Uni- can dance, and I can tell funny
ersity of Michigan are now thusly 'stories. But, so can everybody else.
xposed. Nobady notices me. I never have
my name in The Daily or the Gar-
Der . goyle. No goggle-eyed freshman has,
I am a lowly sophomore on The ever pointed me out in a crowd.
Daily in the most degraded depart- And, Santa, I don't like it.
ment (aad I whisper it: the wo- Give me hair like Veronica Lake
men's staff). In other words, I am --I won't mind going blind, honest
just about nil in the Publications I won't. Make my eyes the deepest
Building. r of blue. Give me Grecian (or is it
There are quite a few little things t \ 1Roman) features, and exotic eye
I could use for Christmas to bring brows. Make my clothes look like
about what we journalists call an - they are out of Vogue, and my
"appointment" in June. This ap-mke rmMxFatr
pointment involves a small matter else like that. One or two students makeup from Max Factor.
oa monthly chleck andsoalmters speak to me a month, which bright- Just think, Santa, with this com-
of a monthly check and some pies- s°a om oth hc rgt bination I wouldn't be ordinary any
tige. ens up my life no nd. non I would be dinary
Fisty Sntbrngm afe, The faculty are even nicer. They more. I would be distinctive.
Firstly, Santa, bring me a few, Tefclyaeee ie.Te For all this I thank you. I'll be
nay, a hundred ideas for some good manage on the average to pass out Fortall thr I thank yu I'll
six nods or so a day, providing that waiting for you--come in and call
features. Secondly, how about some world frs a bot, rIng thm for Susie Smith
instrument to help me automati- rsr
cally pick out the mistakes on the too much. The stacks of cigarette
men's pa ges. I'm sure this would butts around gets me sometimes, Dear Santa Claus,
raise my os. s mar t ion of l my but not from the work angle. Never I am just a typical M ichigan
raise my Boss' estimation of my hv owryaotrnigu BWOC. I hope that you are impres-
work because the men really do not have to worry about running up WC op htyu r mrs
work ecae ll we do for journalism, against new problems in this place. sed; everyone else is. I'm in a great
Thentoe alwould have a chance., And think of all the advantages hurry as I have to get to the League,
T heckl we themwould their bulletin the wife and I have from living in so I can bundle for Britain. I shall
tboards heckl they so regularly heckle a place like A. A. The Intellectual have to make this short, but com-
us. It's a man's world, Santa, and Atmosphere stuff and Eternal plete, of course.
Yextends to the P. B. outh always present. Great isn't
And if you ever need some pub- I' n bad off afte
licity I have a friend on the staff So I guessI m not so ba f fer £
who would ave a fendo the work all, Santa. There's only one thing
whowoldbe la t doth wrk I would like though. To tell you theysj~\
for you. Just let me know. truth it's always been one of may
A Mere Nonentity. secret ambitions. Do you suppose
* * * you could have my job shifted to : ,
Sear Santa: one of those girls dormitories? I)C z
For years I have been deluged with sure would-appreciate it.'
presents which were judged emi- Many thanks.
iently suitable for "a woman of my Sams;
ge" (I'm all of forty-five), and I'd * *
ike to register a protest here and now. Dear Santa;
Please prevent, by some means fair I have been esan awfully good girl for
r foul. Aunt Matlda from presenting the last three years. taking my, vita- ,

Any Old Thing
They Can Use
By DORIS CUTHBERT
When Christmas and birthdays roll
'round, the eternal feminine query of
"how to get the man," becomes mod-
ified to the less direct question of
"what to get the man?"-but they
needn't worry alone and unaided at
times like this, for we have proved
through direct experimentation, that
it takes only suggestion to hit the
jack-pot of masculine desires.
As a rule, men are extravagant, not
to say preposterous in expressing their
fondest hopes and wishes. The ma-
jority would make their first choice
something special, such as a new
coupe (perferably a Packard clip-
per), a boat (more explicitly, a 38
foot cutteV), radios, phonographs and
the like. '
Brother Bud Says
And then they become cautious and
mention a few things which they
might expect to receive. Brother Bud
suggests casually " that he could use
a few more shirts like the flannel one
he bought for himself. He has for-
mal and informal cuff links and two
good tie clasps, butwhe wants a new
tie to go with his white tie and tail
outfit. If the woolen socks are Argyle,
they're all right because Argyles are
flashy and plenty stylish, but if you're
not going to all the work of knitting
them, he'd just as soon have cotton
or silk.
He goes on to say that if any friend
of his wants to give him just a token
of friendship, outside of a card, why
then there's little things like hand-
kerchiefs, (not tier), shaving cream
and lotion, military 'brushes, bill-

Men Demonstrate Inferiority
With I 1-Chosen Xmas Choices
o~

By DOROTHY BLICKE
The Christmas spirit is a joyful
sort of disease which attacks every-
one sooner or later and has an es-
pecially devastating effect on the life
of the baffled male, seeking a present
for "the only woman in the world."
He reads all the back numbers of
"The Christmas Gift Extraordinary,"
tramps lonesomely in and out of all
shops dedicated to pleasing the fancy
of the fair sex, and as a last resort
questions his cronies as to the gift
they would like if they had the char-
acteristics of his favorite wench.
Tears Out And Buys
Finally the frustrated man tears
out and buys the gal something he is
sure she won't like. This is sad, but
too often true, and "the only woman
in the world" has to rave enthusi-
astically about something she wishes
she had never seen.I
There was the case of the health
fanatic who presented his bespectac-
led girl friend with a carton of what
she hoped was something frivolous --
cigarettes for example. However, we

.

all make mistakes and four eyes was
no' exception. The carton contained
five boxes of that vitamin dope, posi-
tively - guaranteed - money - back to
make her big and strong. Then there
was Hugo who was looking for the
domestic-apple-pie-a-day (almost ex-
tinct) and donated an apple peeler
to the candidate of the moment. That
was an all-around mistake!
Every year millions try the old
"sweets to the sweet" gag and hand
the favored one a box of candy. That
idea usually isn't too sharp. Either
the gal is on a diet or watching her
complexion, or else doesn't touch the
stuff for some secret,reason of her
own. Result -- family gets one box
of candy.
Phi Betes Give Books
Phi Betes and others of, their ilk,
wishing to flatter their A+ love in-
terest, may give her a book. That's
a solid idea, but make it appropri-
ate! If she is absorbed in the care
and feeding of spanials, don't present
her with a tome dealing with the
problems of an Arctic explorer in
"darkest Africa".
The perfume angle is also one to
watch. If she doesn't like the stuff,
she may wear it temporarily to please
the donor, at any rate the roommate
will probably get it sooner or later.
Evening bags and compacts also
represent a man's idea of an inspir-
ed gift. Needless to say, that isn't the
feminine viewpoint. The average girl
usually has an over abundance of the
things.
Therefore, in the grueling search
for something special, branch out
and try to be a little more original
this year!

a

folds, razor blades, or maybe a case
>f cokes for the celebration.
Among other parcels that our men
folks would not be adverse to finding
in their Christmas stockings are
scarf and glove set (preferably plain
design), tennis racquet, electric ra-
zor, swank gloves to match the hat,
and either a typewriter or a -pretty
secretary.,
Though he won't admit it, we feel
that Bernard Serrester, '43, could do
with a few, brand new jokes-the
funny kind, that come once in &
lifetime.


charities and studying hard enough Santa dear, my position on campus
to make a 3.99 average. You have demands so many things. I'm badly
rewarded me on every other Christ- in need of a blue sweater and a large
mas by making me president of all yellow "M" with a handsome athlete
sort of things and getting me in good in it. It's very necessary to keep my
with the dean and everybody. prestige during the rest of the year.
I appreciated all this because I be- Besides this Santa, please, bring me
came famous-everyone knew me and a 30 hour day, so I can cram all of my
freshmen asked me for my autograph. activities into it and still be eligible.
But now I am a senior and when I Another thing I would appreciate
am graduated there will be no com- Santa is a bag deflator for my eyes,
mittees or league to get myself ap- and a smile that I can turn off and
pointed president or chairman of. on with ease would be a great relief.
In all my college career I have Oh, Santa, most important, could
never been to J-Hop and I have never you install a lovely two-line private
had a fraternity pin. It must be that telephone right next to my bed, so
all the men think I am too good and I can handle all my committees along
are afraid of me because I really have with calls from my boy friend, of
a lovely personality and am not in course?
the least conceited. Thanks loads for everything, Santa,
I'm sure I would make anyone a and say on your way through campus
wonderful wife so won't you please would you drop some pamphlets for
give me a man for Christmas? me? I'm running for Senior Ball, you
With my best regards to you and know.
Mrs. Santa, I am Sincerely yours,
A typical B.W.O.C. Miss Betty W. O. Calamity
for the woman
who loves nice things. .
}( s
lk\
G IF T LIG R IE
a multitude of delightful gift ideas
lacy or tailored lingerie . . quilted,
chenille, satin, flannel and other types
of stunning housecoats . . . and a brand-
new supply of Kayser's new mesh hose

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The Michigan Calendar-1942 - 75c

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