'PERSPECTIVES Page Five I CAN WELL REMEMBER ..By Esther Jewel1 S HF WASA SHAPELESS WOMAN, heavy with age and sickness. The sallowness of her face and hands contrasted with her black hair and long black smock. She sat bent over in a straight, hard chair beside the dining-room table, on which she was just able to rest her arm. Her stubby pencil was pushed along persistently by her swollen fingers. Sometimes the tablet wc'ld move beneath it, and she would have to lift her arm ever so little to fix it. Then she would settle back again cnd wait a little while before she went on. The letters she was shaping were large and wavering, and the lines wandered across the page. August 24, 1932 I am seventy years old today. As this is on my Birthday I want to make the start on it and add to it as time goes by. Iwill call it my life Biou- graph. I was born in Germany and was a six months old Baby when my Parents came to America. They came from Stettin, West Prussia, in 1863 and landid near Lowell, Wisconsien, where Father bought a farm and went to farming, As he ad been an adminstrait- er over a rich Land Lordes Villige, he had to learn all over to make a success of his new Proffession. But he soon learned how and got to be a successful Farmer. As my Father was one of the old Pioneers in the country and it was rarely settled, they had many hardships to make. I can well remember how we could see where the Indiens were in- camped about half a mile away from our home, and how they would come over and beg wheat and corn and all kinds of eats such as smoked hams and so on. And how I would walk along with Father to the Timber and drink the juce when he sapped the mapple trees. And how Mother cooked the syur- rip and made the Mapple Sugar, as he owned the Timber land with the Timber on it. And I enjoyed the young dayes of my life very much. Before I write any more I will give you my Maiden name, it is Louise Schiffmann. But at present it is Mrs. Wm. Knapp ..,. For njust a moment she had glimpsed her surroundings with the eyes of Louise Schiffman, and now a tear had fallen where the next word should be. Outdoors it was just past noon, but here in this room it was twilight. The heavy furniture seemed to crowd around and overhang her. Wallpaper, rugs, cushions, curtains, and all had lost their own coloring long ago and now mingled their varying shades of -ray with the half-light. Through the window at the woman's right could be seen only a bit of lawn and a tree, and then a wide, dusty lot surrounding a brick building where were housed several families with noisy children, a store, a restaurant, and several other sma and dirty establish- ments. This wasnt like the dream she had had of a homely little cottage set far back on a wide lawn. There would be all sorts of flowers and shrubs and trees, and somewhere there would be room for a vegetable garden and a few fruit trees. She would have liked some chickens to take care of, too. It would be quiet and peaceful and beautiful. But Will liked to be in town, where he could visit people and enjoy himself and not have to keep up so much land. The clock high up on the sideboard wheezed two. A baby over in the apart- ment house cried, and a dog barked in answer. The pencil labored on, avoid- ing the damp spot on the paper over which a fly was hovering epersistently. ... So there were about ten years of my life past. t have many a happy reg- colection in my memory of these times, as our farms gave me all the chances to injoy life. We had apples and nuts of all descriptions, and I could eat to my Hearts content, and my oldest sister and I spent many a happy hour ro- mancing on this nice farm. I had aunts and oncles and cousins liveing around ... So I was a happy girl and injoyed life as the most of us do in our younger dayes. I have three sisters of whom are only two liveing at present, Emilie and Mary, both in the State of Iowa, and my home at present is in Ann Arbor, Michigan. But let's go back once more to my child hood years on our farm at Columbus, Wisconsien. As we lived on this place 5 or 6 years I had the time of my life. As it 'as a fine farm and a very pretty Place, Fruit of all descrip- tion. Apples, Plums, Cherries, Grapes, Black and Red Rass Berries, Currants, Goos Berries and other Berries. I re- member one fall Father stored 7 Barrels of apples in the cellar and said now children eate to your Hearts content. And we also had all kinds of trees and schrubes such as Lilic and the Ramb- ling Roses in all colors and sizes white yellow pink and red . . until Will came down and found her. There were only a few bruieses and they could take care of them themselves. Pain was pain, after all, and a little more Or less didn't matter any more. She had to stay in bed for a few days but she was really very tired. ...Let us go back to where we start- ed, Lowell, Wis. As my Father was no Farmer by Proffession he had to learn all over as over in Germany he wore a silk hat and a cain in his hand. He had to start in on hard work here as the Family increased and wanted Suport. Both Father and Mother had beautiefull clothes such as I have not seen here as they brought them from Germany. And I remember very well when sister and I cut Fathers silk hat up for doll dresses. We begged Mother untill she said we could for Father did not have any use of it in this country as he was a Farmer now. Well as this is the 12 of Oct., 1932 and it's our 50 years anavesary. Fifty years since Editor ... . ..... . . . . . ...... .............. . ....... Jay W. McCormick Fiction Editor......... . ... . ... . . .. . . .......... . . . ........Gerald Burns Joanne Cohen, Gilberta Rothstein, Emile Gets, Barbara Richards. Essay Editor ........... . .... . . . . ............... . .. Richard M. Ludwig John Baker, Betty Whitehead, Frances Patterson, Laurence Spingarn, M. M. Lipper, Bruce W. Forbes. Poetry Editor ............... . . . . . . ..................Irving J. Weiss Bertha Klein, Joan Clement, Lynne Bell. Book Review Editor .................................. Dave Stocking Edwin Burrows, Frank Tinker, Hervie Haufler. Art Editor . . ......... . ......... . . . ..... . .... . ..........Cliff Graham Publications Editor..................... . .............Carol Bundy Joan Dories Jean Mullins, Erath Gutekunst, Rose Ann Kornblume, Barbara DeFies. Advisory Board: Arno L. Bader, Herbert Weisinger, J. L. Davis, Morris Greenhut, Allan Seager, Emil Weddige. Walker's work and at Columbus Rev. Gottschalk was our minister. So time went by rather too fast it seems, and we girls were soon gronups and inoyed our farm life very much as long as we were farely well . . Indeed they had. There was not thought then of sickness. They could run and jump and climb trees. Why, they had never even thought about going upstairs many times in a day. And now she could barely get upstairs with two people helping her. She hadn't been up since last Thanksgiving, and here it was October again. Well, she just had to trust to Will to keep things clean. She never heard him stirring around up there, though. He slept every afternoon until time to get dinner. It made it rather lonely. . .Well as I have told you before Father needed help every year in har- vest. So one time our friend came in and said to father do you want a man for harvest and Father ariswered sure I do. So friend said I have a man who is loking for a job so Father said send him over. So Father hired him for harvest time, and as we already knew, this young man was an Illinoie Man, and our choier master and organist at our church. So we were glad for a chance to meet him and found him to be very nice and Father needed help so he hired him for a year. This young man took a likeing to me and now is my Husband and we are still liveing although he is 80 years and I 70 years old. Well Father was again one of the first Pioneers in this new and spairly settled Country of Iowa and as it was mostly Prarey the Prarie wolfs were still heard howling around us and plenty of Prarie chickens could be heard cooing in the morning and evening hours. But we after all in- joyed our young lives and did our best to make life pleasant and agriebly, and so time went 'by rather fast. We lived three miles away from our church as we called it, but we attendid regularly and were members in it. When the young man who worked for Father had been with us one year Father asked him if he would not stay for another year, for he got along fine with him and so he stayed for the second year and we got quite well acquainted with him. He seemed more like a brother to us than a friend and Father hired him for a third year and at the end of that he was anxious to go Home to his Mother and Father who wanted him to rent his farm and make this his Home, and as he asked me to go with him and get acquainted with his Folks and meet them so I did, and we were married on the twelfth day of October in the year 1882 in Freeport, Ill., and made our home on Fathers and Mothers Farm and lived with them nearly two years and I found his Mother to be one of the Best old Ladyes I ever meet and so we were very happy in our first years of married lifves .. HI S'HE SAT WITHOUT MOVING. very quiet. She was cold. She wished Will would come home and put more coal on the fire. They had been happy once. She supposed he still was. There were times, too, when she was feeling a little better than usual, that they would talk about those first years and she would be contented and cheerful again. It was hard to talk, though. I was hard to do anything. She had to stop and rest after every few words that she wrote. ... After that my Father back home in Iowa wrote he was getting tired of running a large farm and wanted to know if we could not come back and take .part of it off from his hands and so we did and part of my inheritance was left right in the farm. And so we (Ceotinued on Page Eight) There were roses out behind the house, too, and she liked to go out and look at them. Some days when the sun was very warm she would have Will put a shawl over her shoulders and she would toil down the side steps and along the nar- row sidewalk. across a strip of worn lawn, to stand beside the trellis and murmur to them, touching a petal now and then. She could never stay very long, though, because she would get tired and cold even with the sun beating down .on the garden. The garden had three plum trees and a grape arbor in it too. The fruit from these was plentiful and refreshing in the summer, but she and Will' ate very little of it themselves. Will always took basketsfull to their friends, and most of what was left she would put in cans for the next winter. Even then they didn't eat it all, and Will often brought up a jar that had been filled eight or ten years ago. He couldn't be convinced that some of it was spoiled either; and he ate good and bad alike. She went without then, because she couldn't eat the bad and couldn't get the good. It didn't mat- ter, though, because she was never very hungry anyway. THE FLY buzzed on and on, now far off in a dark corner, now loud and rasping in the spots of sunlight on the table. The clock ticked away another slow half hour. The woman had gone to sleep and was gradually leaning farther and farther away from the table's sup- port. When she fil there was no 'actual sound. She. lay there limp and heavy Mr. Knapp and I were married in Free Port, Ill. So we are celebrating the day as it's not many who have the privelege see have for wich I thank our heavenly Father who so mersifull stood by us, and helped us, through all trials and troubles, unto this day and trust He will be with us in the Futhure till the end of our life. Nim Easus meine hands und fuhre mich biss onn mein selig ende und ewiglich ich kann alein nich gehen nicht einen Schritt wodre wirst gehen und Stehen da nim mich Mitt . . Yes, it had been a long time. There were many, many years that she couldn't remember at all, but she could reckon their number in terms of work and pain and worry and privation. It wouldn't do to write those things down, though. She would rather think about the happy times. She liked to read through all that she had written about them. She had done it so many times in the last few weeks that the leaves were falling out of the tablet. She would have to paste them back in so they wouldn't get lost. She must go on writing, though, while she was able, because she knew it was getting harder to do every day. ... As Father has no boyes, he had to hire help every summer for haying, and harvesting, and the Iowa climet was quite rough. So life was not so easy for us and father's health began to fail him. We were members of the German Methodist church our life time - that is, Father and Mother. They joined the church at Lowell, Wis., under Rev.