THE -MICHMAX DAILY FRIDAY, OCT. THE MICHIGAN DAILY FRIDAY, OCT. On Pass Defense In Final Long Workout C" _ IN TWIS CORAER By MEL FINEBERG_ The Professor Predicts . Dr. Gregory H. St. Denis, A.B., Ph.D., L.L.D., stopped in to see us this morning. Dr. Gregory H. St. Denis, A.B., Ph.D., L.L.D., looked just the way you'd expect that many letters to look. He was Scrawny, emaciated, and his shoulders were stooped in such a way that his glass-covered eyes were riveted on that part of the ground about to be invaded by his feet. It was as though he expected to find the rebuttal for Euclid's hypothesis on the ground. But Dr. St. Denis had left his moral and ethical problems behind as he approached. There were bigger things on hand. Dr. St. Denis would solve them. "My name is: Dr. St. Denis," erupted from the bass violin he called a larynx, 'but from now on call me Professor Litkendenis. I have found my true field. Einstein's relativity is practical now. I select football winners. "Please don't misinterpret what I have just said. Fact and theory, com- plemented by my intricate knowledge of the higher mathematics, enables me to select the victors. Try me." "Okay," we said. "We'll try anything once. Who'sgoing to win the Michigan-Iowa game tomorrow?" "One moment please," he replied as he unrolled a prodigious sheet of compilations. "Michigan-Iowa. Hmm Michigan . . . Oh yes, here we are. The winner will be Michigan." And he said this so unceremoniously, it was as though it was everyone who could pick football winners. "I bet you're curious as to how I arrived at my conclusion." We admit- ted that he would have collected on that bet and so he proceeded to tell us. "I noticed that you havea chap named Harmon and another named Evashevski in your backfield. In those two names there are seven syllables. Since there are seven points awarded for a touchdown and a point after touchdown, Michigan can't lose. Simple, isn't it?" After a moment of counting on our fingers' we corrected him and told him that the two names have only six syllables. But that stopped him not a jot. "Oh; that's all right. Six points for a touchdown shows that they still can't lose. Aren't numbers beautiful? I give Michigan a rating of 193 divided by 11. (And parenthetically he told us that there were 11 men on a football team. We didn't know that before.) That gives Michigan a rating of 176. The standard deviation is 83 (Fielding H. Yost's favorite play), leaving Michigan with 93. Iowa is 700 miles away. In percentiles that is 70. Obviously Michigan is 23 points better." Yes, obviously. We were very much interested in this refugee fron an adding machine so we questioned him about the Minnesota-Purdue game, a tough one. I suppose it is rather difficult for the illiterati but the Professor Lit- kendenis formula makes it easy. "Divide 1197, the number of hairs on Bernie Bierman's chest by 18, the number of hairs on his head, and you get 66.5. Since Bierman lives in the 23d congressional ward in Minneapolis the Gopher rating is 89.5. Purdue, of course, had 90 men out for spring training. Ergo, a rating of 90." We are beginning to get the idea of it by this time but since we wanted a little tip on the Pitt-Duke game, we invited the good Professor to continue. "The Duke of Windsor's age is 43. Since he is married, I multiply that by tw,. Then I add 7 because that's the one number I couldn't find at the right time the last crap game I was in. That leaves us with 93. Pitt is a horrid word so they automatically receive a rating of minus 4. But since I think they'll win, I award them 93.1. Really, it's a wonderful formula. Don't you think?" We certainly did. Thank you, Professor. Anytime we can recipro- cate and drive you crazy, don't hesitate to call on us. We are featuring the New STETSON HATS styled for Fall Wrigley Refuses To Name Managerk CHICAGO, Oct. 12 -(iP)-Chicago Cubs officials spiked rumors from Kansas City today that Bill Meyer, Kansas City Manager, might take over direction of the Cubs should Gabby Hartnett be released. # Owner P. K. Wrigley said "No one even has mentioned him to me. I think you will be safe in saying it won't be Meyer." However, the admittedly disap- pointed Wrigley, although reiterating he would do nothing until he "cooled off," added fuel to managerial spec- ulation today by declaring, "right now I am anti-Hartnett." Bill Stern To Announce Iowa Game For NBC Bill Stern, ace sports announcer, will broadcast the Michigan-Iowa game tomorrow over the Blue Net- work of the National Broadcasting Company. A special booth is being rconstructed in the front row of the press box for the broadcast. Stern has already arrived in Ann Arbor and is attending the Varsity practice sessions in order to become more familiar with Michigan plays. Station WXYZ, Detroit, is on the Blue Network and will carry the broadcast. COLLEGE FOOTBALL Florida 7, Boston college 0. Arnold 6, Lowell Textile 14 44 WE ARE WAITING TO SERVE YOU ... If you have a yen for the good things in life, you'll enjoy the food here .. . and the courteous service. Pure-... Clear... Ref reshing Phone 8270 Every dish has that home-cooked quality ob- tained only with careful attention to every detail of preparation. T HE FINEST OF WINES AND BEERS METZGER'S RESTAU RANT .. 203 East Washington Street .. "w Ui MEN OF '43 t Get your FROS-4 POTS" . . 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