SATURDAY, APRIL 223, 1938 THE MICHIGAN DAILY PAGE THREE -ASIDE " LINES -0 - P--B y IRVIN LISAGOR... Stating A Case .. . THISBUSINESS of sportswriting is an abused racket. We of the ath- letic press take it in the neck News- men look at us as rude incompetents, blessed with a racing imagination and a vibrant verbiage but wholly un- acquainted with the finer points of newswriting. We are inaccurate. We are never concise. We ramble, rave, and color a simple story so that it becomes totally devoid of news value. Our leads gush with flowery phraseo- logy. We are word crazed, headstrong "gee-whizzers"-a blight on the hon- orable profession of journalism. Some of this criticism is justi- fied. Stanley Walker, in his val- uable work "City Editor," points out some of the flaws of our branch of the profession, and it's a treatise that the embryo sports writer might well read. So might the editorial aces, the boys who levy constant deprecation at the sportswriter. They hold that the sports page is an illiterate conglomeration, composed by a group of nincompoops, and read in pool rooms, the backs of street cars, in speakeasies and along the waterfront. They deride our ef- forts; they laugh at our tech- nique. To these illustrious gentle- men we dedicate this piece. It's our idea of how some of our edi- torial colleagues might write a baseball game in best "newsy" fashion. It's utterly without the sports cliche, which gives them all such belly laughs. Exaggera- tion is employed solely for em- phasis. Here goes: Guff School of Technology, a Po- dunk, Ill., institution, beat Butts Collegiate Seminar of Paradise Pond, in a game of baseball here yesterday, it was reliably reported by those close to Jones Field, a 10 acre plot at Jones and Alexander Avenues where the game was reportedly played. Fifteen representatives of Guff ran across "home plate," the last re- quired "base." Five representatives of Butts did likewise. This made the score Guff 15, Butts 5. 18 men played, nine on each side. There were two umpires, three ticket takers, and 553 spectators, most of whom sat in the concrete and wooden bleachers which border the field. Aloysious J. Potts, 21, of 664 Minerva Ave. (suite 2) threw the ball 60 feet from the "pitchers mound" to "home plate." Mr. Potts was called "pitcher." Guff used "Lefty" Wozeka, 23, of Broken Axle, Iowa, as "pitcher." He threw the pellet with his left arm. Guff batted nine times while Butts batted eight times. They did not bat the last time. In' the first "inning," Guff made four "runs" 15 minutes before Butts made them "field." This is better than average. Leslie Vandertwerp, 20, of Yoach- in, Ga., who "batted" first was suc- cessful. He "hit" the white pellet 45 yards, six feet, three inches in a southerly direction and ran to "sec- ond base." Authorities called it a "double." The game was suddenly interrupt- ed. A short, heavy set, grey haired man, about five feet five inches tall, wearing a black overcoat stood up and. emitted a low, guttural sound which resounded over the field. Syn- onomously he cried: "pull dat punk outadere." Police escorted him out of the park. Authorities declared the noise had been caused by a unique rumbling of the tongue, technically known as rendering the "razzberries." He was not held. At 4:13 p.m. both teams sud- denly left the field. It was re- ported that the game was over. Umpires would not comment, however, but those close to the field insisted that the move was rife with diplomatic possibilities. An irate Guff fan, J. Bull Barnes, insisted: "we wuz robbed. Why dose yokels, we could take 'em wit any old joe chukkin'. Whatdahell. Will butch 'em next trip." Interpreters were vainly trying to unravel this comment late last night. Martin's Daughter Is Ill So Pepper Plays Hookey OKLAHOMA CITY, April 22.--(4) -John (Pepper) Martin played hoo- key today to see an ailing daughter here-but all he could do was stand outside the window and make faces at her. The Martin home is quarantined olfers Team Opposes M.S.C. In First Home Match Barclay, Karpinski, Riess, Yearnd To Face State's ExperiencedSquad Michigan, coming up against the highly rated Michigan State golf team this afternoon, finds itself with a handicap on its hands. Besides trying t'o beat the Spartans, Michi- gan will attempt to overcome the let- down which it had experienced all week after the southern trip. The first foursome is slated to leave the first tee of the University course at 12:30 p.m. Is Seventh Meet Of Year The meet will be the Varsity's sev- enth of the season but its initial home engagement. Last Monday the Wolverines defeated Ohio State and previously had won three, lost one and tied one on its spring vacation jaunt throrgh Dixieland. Coach Ray Courtright intends to start four men who have seen quite a bit of action in other encounters. Two of them, Bill Barclay and Capt. Al Karpinski, performed against State last year. Barclay will again be No. 1 starter, followed by Kar- pinski, Lynn Riess and Bill Yearnd in that order. Bill Barclay will play in a reserve match. Yearnd Is Long Driver Riess, although only a sophomore, has consistently turned in low scores in all the meets in which he has played. Yearnd, who also won a Varsity letter last year, is considered the squad's best driver, many of his clouts reaching 300 yards. While he did not go on the southern tour .Black was selected by Courtright to play in the reserve match because of his excellent showing in practice. "It will be a close meet," Court- right said yesterday. "Michigan State has a strong-well-balanced outf(it with three regulars returning. But we've still got the experience from the other meets and I think we can beat this let-down." Michigan State brings practically the same team that the Wolverines defeated last season, 12-6, in the series opener. State will line-up with Ed Flowers, Tom Brand, Roy Nelson and Bob Tansey respectively. Only Fansey of the first four is new. Bud Stephens will be Black's opponent. State Has Experience Flowers was runner-up in the Wes- tern Michigan amateur tourney last summer while Brand, who turned in the low score last year, has been West Virginia State amateur champion for the past two years. Tansey comes from a famous Michigan golfing fam- ily and has had a great deal of train- ing. Nelson was runner-up in the Lansing district golf tournament last year. Coach Courtright is as yet undecid- ed about how he will play his best ball combinations. The course is ex- pected to be in first class shape for the meet. The greens are fast and should make for good putting. HE'S STARTING EARLY DETROIT, April 22.-(p')-Walter Reckinger, a 15-year-old boy pitch- ing his first regular high school base- ball game, hurled a no-hitter today to give Sacred Heart an 8-2 victory over St. Clements. Reckinger struck out 10 batters, but issued seven walks, and these, with two errors, gave his opponents their two runs. Play Here Hits-But In Vain Varsity Beats Hoosiers, 4-3 At Champaign Team Wins Three Singles Matches, One Douhles Event To Triumph CHAMPAIGN, Ill., April 22.- (Special to The Daily) -Michigan's tennis team whipped Indiana 4 to 3 here today in a meet that was not de- cided until the final set of the last doubles match. With the meet score tied at three matches apiece, the Wolverine doubles team of Steve Woolsey and John Kidwell came from behind to win over the Hoosier No. 2 duo of Vic Kingdom and Gilmore Haynie, 2-6, 6-1, 6-3. Michigan captured an early edge by taking three of the five singles battles. The most closely contested singles play of the day was between Capt. Neil Levenson of the Wolver- ines and the Indiana leader, John Tuthill. The latter captured the first set, 9-7; but Levenson rallied to win the match with his accurate sharpshooting. Summaries Singles: Levenson (M) defeated Tuthill (I) 7-9, 6-2, 6-2; Dulberger (ID defeated Percival (M), 6-0, 6-0; Kingdon (1) defeated Woolsey (M) 6-1, 6-3; Kidwell (M) defeated Hay- nie (I) 6-3, 6-3; Cohen (M) defeated Davis (I) 6-3, 6-2. Doubles: Tuthill-Dulberger (I) de- feated Percival-Cohen (M) 1-6, 6-2, 6-3; Woolsey-Kidwell (M) defeated Kingdom-Haynie (I) 2-6, 6-4, 6-4. My Greatest THRILL Today; Danny Smick, whom Coach Ray Fisher converted into a pitcher from a first baseman, moved once more, this time into right field, and justified the wisdom of this latest move by garnering three bingles in seven attempts against Illinois yesterday. Box Scores Michigan, 9 AB R Trosko 2b..........7 2 Brewer, ss ...........4 1 Peckinpaugh, 3b .....6 1 Kremer, cf ..........4 1 *Lisagor .............1 0 Pink, cf .............1 1 Campbell, If .........5 0 Smick, rf ...........7 1 Gedeon, lb..........6 1 Beebec............6 1 Andronik, p.........0 0 Fishman, p.........4 0 Smith, p............0 0 Totals.........51 9 H1 1 2 0 1 0 1 1 3 1 1 0 2 0 13 H 2 2 0 0 0 1 2 3 0 3 0 0 0 O 2 3 1 1 0 0 3 4 6 15 0 0 0 35 O 4 2 8 1 2 10 Y 3 0 2 1 0 2 A 3 0 1 0 0 0 01 0 0 0 0 3 0 7 A 3 0 0 0 0 1 1 0' 21 0l 1 0' 91 Illinois, 10 Cavallo, 2b....... Callahan, cf ....... Conley, lb........ Berner, rf ......... Mazeika, rf ........ McConnell, c ...... Sainati, p ......... Kucera, ss ......... **Richter ......... Kallis, 3b ......... Farrington, If. Doyle, if......... Christiansen, If . Totals...... Ab R ..7 1 ..5 1 ..6 1 ..5 1 ..1 0 ..4 3 ..5 1 ..5 1 ..0 1 ..5 0 1 0 .3 0 ..1 0 I 1 l { " CLARENCE MUNN Michigan Football Coach Any fellow who has ever played in the backfield never loses the desire to score a touchdown in a football game. In high school, I played fullback, but when I went to Minnesota, I was transferred to guard. Naturally, I never lost that old scoring urge. We were playing our home- coming tame against Wisconsin in 1931, and Fritz Crisler, our coach, had us all primed for a victory. But the Badgers had a powerful team and we were given little chance of beating them. It turned out to be a great game and we beat Wisconsin 14 to 0 mainly through Crisler's strategy. The play that gave me the biggest kick and a great thrill was a tricky one which found me realizing my old high school ambitions again. The tail-back started around end, tossed a lateral to a guard-which happened to be mie-and I ran for the first touchdown of my college career. Carrying that ball and crossing the old goal line was something I won't ever forget. .48 10 13 36 '*Ptted for Kremer in eighth. Two out when winning run scored '*Ran for Kucera in twelfth. Michigan......070 000 010 001- 9 Illinois........500 200 100 002-10, Errors: M., Peckinpaugh, 1. I., Runs batted in: Kremer 4, Beebe, Cavallo 1, Kucera 3, Kallis 1, Doyle 1. Brewer, Smick, McConnell, Kallis, Kucera 4, Conley, Berner, Cavallo. Home run: Kremer. Two base-hit, Gedeon, Callahan 2, Kucera. Stolen bases, Piik, Kucera. Double play: Kallis to Kucera to Conley. Dial 3205 GROCERIES - MEATS - WINES - BEER 420 MILLER AVENUE PHONE 3205 Open 8:00 A.M. till 11:00 P.M. DAILY ALTES LAGER IS BETTER BEER MORE WHOLESOME MORE DELICIOUS Altes Lager is a better beer that's better'for you because it's made better. Compare it with any other beer and you'll find Altes Lager more wholesome, more delicious. Its mild, mellow, nat- ' Ural full-bodied goodness will THIS LITTLE POEM, representative of much contemporary rhyme, has an important message which may not at first be evident. After carefully scanning the lines once again, yae even thrice again, one is able to secure for himself the fullest meaning of this message. It is simply this: SINK OR SWIM, whether you dive or just dunk, you will find no better place to relax than in the Union Pool. Splash away those lazy Spring moments in its clear, cool, sparkling water. And after an invigorating swim why don't you take advantage of our up-to-date steam equipment?