THE , MICHIGAN DAILY

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THE ICHTAN fATLY~ATTDT A

MICHIGAN DAILY

Washington
,OfThe Record

Campus Opinion

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By SIGRIDI ARNE.
ONE OF THE CAPITAL'S liberals was confronted
with the task of introducing Ambassador Alex-
ander Troyanovsky of Russia to an editor of a
Wall Street paper. He minced .no words about it,
"Mister So-and-So, of Wall street," he said, "may
I present Ambassador Troyanovsky of the Soviet
Union. You two will have nothing in common,"
Senator George Norris, the veteran from Ne-
braska, loves to play his accordion. But he confines
the playing to his home.
However, the information that a quartet is form-
ing is just a battle cry to him. He rushes to volun-
teer his booming bass voice.

Published every morning except Monday dilring the
University year and Summer Session by the Board in
Control of Student Publications.
Member of the Western Conference Editorial Association
and the Big Ten News Service.
s50ociatEd tc k0 iste Tress
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for republication of all news dispatilces credited to it or
not otherwise credited in thl paper and the local news
published herein. All rights of republication of special
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second class matter. Special rata of postage granted by
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EDITORIAL STAFF
Telephone 4926
M4NAGING EDITOR.........THOMAS K. CONNELLAN
EDITORIAL DIRECTOR ..............C; HART SCHAAF
CITY EDITOR .................... BRACKLSEY SHAW
SPORTS EDITOR.. .............ALBERT H. NEWMAN
WOMEN'S EDITOR. ................CAROL J. HANAN
NIGHT EDITORS: A. Ells Ball, Rlbph 0. Coulter, William
GJ0, Fher~., JohniC, Iialev, George Van Viceic, P.Jerome
Pefttit."

REPRESENTATIVE SOL BLOOM of New York
is always so much in the center of things that
his presence at the capitol while the cherry blossom
festival was on drew a remark from Col. Edwin
A. Halsey, secretary of the Senate.
"Why aren't you at the festival?" asked Halsey.
"I should think you'd be one of the cherry blos-
soms."
"No," said Bloom with mock pomposity. "Not a
blossom, just a Bloom."
ANOTHER CHAPTER has been written in the
history of the taxicab which Representative
Isabella Greenway of Arizona hired when she came
to Congress.
After the first week here she found her fares
were running so high that she contracted for a
taxi by the week. The driver even brought his
small son along to play with Mrs. Greenway's son.
Now the story leaks out that Mrs. Greenway
finally bought the taxi, had the sign painted off
the side and hired the former owner as a chauf-
feur.
The small son of Commander and Mrs. Archie
McGlassen has found that it really does pay to be
obedient.
He started off to a very exclusive small persons'
party after careful admonition from his mother.
"Now be polite," she said, "and don't refuse any-
thing at the dinner table."
He came home, all smiles, to report that the sys-
tem had worked.
"I didn't refuse a thing," he said. "And I had
five plates of ice-cream."

Letters published in this column should not be con-
striied as expressing the editorial opinion of The
Daily. Anonymous communications will be disregarded.
The names of communicants will, however, be re-
garded as confidential upon request. Contributors
are asked to be brief, confining themseivest ilc
than 500 words if possible.
DEPLORES SWINGOUT ACTION
To the Editor:
Being a loyal but conservative alumnus of the
University, it was with consequent regret that I
learned of the abolition of the traditional Swing-
out. While I never was particularly sympathetic
toward certain superfluous and unnecessary class
activities which the institution practically abol-
ished in the past few years, yet I am convinced
that elimination of Swingout destroys a cherished
custom replete with sentiment and greatly desired
by the student body. The average or normal under-
graduate holds Swingout in high esteem, and as
the years of study elapsed this event became of
increasing interest. It marked a definite monument
to which the student and alumnus could refer
with meaning, sentiment, and pride, without which
the University loses its traditional color and thus
denies the student a cherished memory which the
institution owes to its members as a heritage for
future years. Inadequate disciplinary control
should not oblige the innocent to suffer with the
guilty. Therefore, if the theory herein presented
serves to enlist a plea and united effort to main-
tain Swingout my duty is fulfilled in a noble pur-
pose.
-Alumnus.
ECONOMICS, BIOLOGY
To the Editor:
Kindly print this in reply to the insipid bleating
of the young man who can't take it --I refer
to the very, very L.M.O.C.
He desires women a have a family, do the house-
work, and tramp out to work each day. Wot a man!
Does he realize man has been getting plenty for
nothing ever since mountains were pebbles? Just
how much would a housekeeper charge to do the1
work and stand for his nasty temper? How much
would a cook demand for catering to his enormous
appetite and for waiting meals until he staggers
in? How much would a nursemaid charge to care
for his squalling brats? (I could keep this up for
hours) All this (and plenty more) he gets in a
wife for practically nothing.
To tart anew: he desires woman to work in order
to help support the family. Pray tell, what family?
Doesn't he know it's the fashion (in fact the
necessity) for the women to have them, that it
takes quite a time, and also that after they are
born you can't park 'em on the chandelier and
keep them there until they are old enough to
get themselves a wife to share expenses?
It will be woman's duty to "share expenses"
when the husband can take a share in the house-
work and having the babies - and then, as our
Little Man says, it will be "J-u-s-t t-o-o b-a-d"
for someone I know
--A Future Old Maid

IAi

to oCrate an
A N ELECTRIC CLOCK keeps time as accu-
rately as the finest watch. It never
requires winding or attention, it is noiseless,
and it is absolutely dependable. Yet it
requires so little electricity in its operation
that the amount of current it uses is scarcely
sufficient to turn your meter. The cost of
operation hardly exceeds a fifth of a cent
a day.
All of your other household electric
appliances are just as dependable, just as
untiring. And their wages are measured in
pennies or fractions of a penny. An electric
washer, for example, costs 2 cents a week

The

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SPORTS ASSISTANTS: Charles A. Baird, Arthur W. Car-
stens, Roland L. Martin, Marjorie Western.
WOMEN'S ASSISTANTS: Marjorie Bece, Eleanor Blum,
Lois Jotter, Marie Murphy, Margaret D. Phalan.
REPORTERS: C. Bradford Carpenter, Paul J. Elliott,
Courtney A. Evans, John J. Flaherty, Thomas A. Groehn,
John Kerr, Thomas H, Kleene, Bernard B. Levick, ,David
0l. MacDonald, Joel P. Newman, John M. O'Connell,
Kenneth Parker, William R. Reed, Robert S. Ruwitch,
Arthur S. Settle, Jacob C. Seidel, Marshall D. Silverman,
Arthur M. Taub.
Dorothy Gies, Jean Hanmer, Florence Harper, Eleanor
Johnson, Ruth Loebs, Josephine McLean, Marjorie Mor-
rison, Sally Place, Rosalie Resnick, Jane Schneider.
BUSINESS STAFF
Telephone 2-1214
BUSINESS MANAGER.............W. GRAFTON SHARP
CREDIT MANAGER..........BERNARD E. SCHNACKE
WOMEN'S BUJSINESS MANAGER ................:..
.... ................... CATHARINE MC HENRY
DEPARTMENT MANAGERS: Local Advertising, Noel Tur-
ner; Classified Advertising, Russell Read; Advertising
Service, Robert Ward; Accounts, Allen Knuusi; Circula-
tion and Contracts, Jack Efroymson.
ASSISTANTS: Milton Kramer, John Ogden, Bernard Ros-
enthal, Joe Rothbard, George Atherton.
Jane Bassett, Virginia Bell, Mary Bursley, Peggy Cady,
Virginia Cluff, Patricia Daly, Genevieve Field;, Louise
Fiorez, Doris Gimmy, Betty Greve, Billie Griffiths. Janet
Jackson, Louise Krause, Barbara Morgan, Margaret
Mustard, Betty Simonds.
FRESHMAN TRYOUTS: William Jackson, Louis Gold-
smith, David Schiffer, William Barndt, Jack Richardson,
Charles Parker, Robert Owen, Ted Wohlgemuth, Jerome
Grossman, Avnor, Kronenberger, Jim Horiskey, Tom
Clarke, Scott, Samuel Beckman, Homer Lathrop, Hall,
Ross Levin, Willy Tomlinson, Dean Asselin, Lyman
Bittman, John Park, Don Hutton, Allen Ulpson, Richard
Hardenbrook, Gordon Cohn.
NIGHT EDITOR: RALPH G. COULTER
For Whom
The War?. ,


Adva n ageous,
Results of
Classified
dvertsing
have been
The Daily maintains d
Classified Directory
for your
convenience
Cash Rates
Il1c'a LIn6e
The Michigan Daily
Maynar Stree

to operate.

An electric percolator costs

THE STORIES that Representative Florence
Kahn of California tells on herself are quite
often the best in her large collection.
She tells of attending a recent masquerade where
the guests were asked to dress as Biblical char-
acters. But jolly, white-haired Mrs. Kahn had the
rest puzzled. Finally she was awarded the prize
as the character most difficult to guess. She an-
nounced she was "the hand-maiden whom no
man desired."
One of the most interested spectators before a
street baseball scoreboard on a recent sunny after-
noon was Senator Carter Glass of Virginia.
He takes little interest in sports except baseball,
and then it's only when Connie Mack's Athletics
are playing.
POSTMASTER "JIM" FARLEY is having a dif-
ficult time convincing his friends that he
really knows nothing about horses and horse-
racing.
A group of men insisted that he attend the
races with them. Farley, the self-named "novice,"
bought a $2 ticket. It paid $37.
"So you don't know anything about horses,"
chided his friends.
"Now look here," said Farley. "That horse's name
was 'Jane Ellen,' wasn't it? Well, 'Ellen' was my
mother's name, and I like it."
There was nary a drink in sight when the
Texas Press Association gave'a dinner in honor of
Vice-President Garner, with Jesse Jones, of RFC,
as toastmaster, and Senator Morris Sheppard, the
dry advocate,,as another honor guest.
One of the Texas editors explained:
"Senator Sheppard couldn't keep the country
dry, but he's done very nicely by us 'Texans, thank
you."

2 Cents an hour.
If ou had to choose between these eco-
nomical servants and the hours of time and
labor they save you each week, Would you
prefer to go -back and do all these tasks by
hand, in exchange for two or three cents
for yoUr WOrl(?
The
DETROI'T EDISON
('ow /ia,,rrry

Screen Reflectins
A CORRECTION:


Due to error, the current film at the Mich-
igan Theatre, "The Show-Off," was rated two stars
minus in yesterday's paper instead of three stars
minus as was intended. Spencer Tracy's portrayal
of the braggart raises this film to this level. There
are many excellent features in the movie that are
worthwhile seeing, especially its logical adherence
to the dominant theme.

F1OR THOSE WHO STILL believe the
World War was fought to make the
world safe for democracy (in spite of the harvest
of Fascist dictatorships directly attributable to the
four-year slaughter), the figures offered below may
prove difficult to explain.
In each instance, the first figure quoted repre-
sents the profit of the company in four peace years,
the second figure the profits in four war years:
United States Steel - $10,000,000 and $239,000,-
000; Dupont Corp.- $6,000,000 and $58,000,000;
Bethlehem Steel - $6,000,000 and $49,000,000; At-
las Powder Corp. -$485,000 and $2,000,000; Her-
cules Powder - $1,000,000 and $7,000,000; Nites-
Bement Powder Corp. - $656,000 and $6,000,000
(almost 10 times!) ; Scoville Manufacturing Co. -
$655,000 and $7,000,000 (more than 10 times!) ; and
General Motors, $7,000,000 and $21,000,000. Ana-
conda Copper, Utah Copper, American Smelting
& Refining, Republic Iron and Steel, and Inter-
national Mercantile Marine are others whose bal-
ance sheets show similar profits.
These figures, it should be noted, are those car-
ried by the Associated Press, and emanate from
the United States Senate, not from a radical source.
They are the opening counter-blasts of Senators
Nye and Vandenberg, who are planning an attack
on the armament interests, expose fashion, in an
attempt "to take the profit out of war."
What would be the reaction of the 2,000 odd
Michigan students and alumni who gave their lives
to the treachery of the "secret international" -
the armaments ring - in the World War if they
could see these figures? Would they give in so
easily the next time someone handed them a flag
and herded them across the seas to fight an
imperialist war? Hardly.
The pity is that Michigan students today, as
well as others the country over, are so apathetic
to figures like these. The three digits which so
many arms companies were able to tack snugly on
to their accounts during war time produce no reac-
tion in the college student who will be called on for
the next butchery.
No matter what political creed you, as a Mich-
igan student, profess, the figures you have just
read should produce in you a thorough loathing for
the situation which permitted these profits to be

Collegiate Observer
By BUD BERNARD



I

The Theatre
CHILDREN'S THEATRE
"JACK AND THE BEANSTALK"
By JOHN W. PRITCHARD
A RETURN ENGAGEMENT for one afternoon
of "Jack and the Beanstalk," yesterday at
the Lydia Mendelssohn Theatre, gives occasion for
a brief reemphasis on. the value of the Children's
Theatre. It is a movement which is slowly gaining
ground all over the country, but this year has
marked its inception in Ann Arbor.
The cause of building up illusion in the mind of
the child has rather suffered, in recent years, by
adverse criticisms from those who believe that chil-
dren should be educated as soon as possible to the
hard facts of life. These materialistic critics have,
however, neglected one important point: illusion,
fantasy, imagination if you will, are facts, as much
as are cheeses and locomotives and political con-
ventions. Imagination is a fact of the mind; it is
a function of the brain, and a decidedly pleasant
function if rightly directed. Its sane and healthy
fostering may result in the salvation of a child
destined to material failure, or it may aid immeas-
urably the advancement of a child fated for ma-
terial success. It will provide a rich fund of thought



Opportunity knocks. A professor at Northwestern
University, while performing experiments on a
student whom he had hypnotized, was proceeding
satisfactorily until he asked the student, "Can you
shadow box?"
"Sure," replied the student, and landed one with
a resounding wallop on the professor's jaw.
A junior at Illinois thinks that city dates
and campus dates are similar in that they both
resemble a popular brand of cigarettes. That
is, one of them satisfies and the other is mild.
I'll leave it to you to figure out which is which.
The college doctor at Carnegie Tech at Pitts-
burgh was giving a phyisical examination for a
group out for football. When the good doctor came
to the eye test he said, "Now just read the top
line of that chart on the wall." Five of the athletes
answered, "What chart."
* * * *
This column is far from a Column for the love-
lorn, but the following letter received recently de-
serves to be printed.
Dear Bud Bernard:
I am a co-ed here at the University. When
I was going home on a bus for my vacation,
I met a very nice boy from Hillsdale College.
He sat next to me all the way to my home
town, and when it got dark he became very
attentive to me. He put his arms around me
and kissed me three or four times and said
he loved me. I did not get a chance to tell him
whether I loved him, as I didn't go all the way
to his home town, but had to get off at Iron
City. What should I have done?
L.L.C.
Maybe you'll meet him going home next
vacation. Then you'll be able to tell him that
you love him. I wish you luck.
Bud Bernard

I


First Methodist
Episcopal Church
A COMMUNI'Y CATHEDLRAL
State and Washington
Ministers
Fre;erick B. Fisher
Peter F. Stair
10:45--Morning Worsfin.
"HenryGeorge Examines
Christ"
Dr. Fisher preaching at both
services
7:30-Evening Worship.
"Is There Any Such Thing
As Absolute Truth?"
STALKER HALLT
For University Students
6:00 -Installation of Wesleyan
Guild officers.
St. Paul's Lutheran
(Missouri Synod)
West Liberty and Third Sta.
9:30 A.M.--Service in German.
9:30 A.M.-Church School.
10:45 A.M.-Regular morning service

Hillel Foundation
Cone EaA.tUni vec ity and Oakland
Dr lBernard 1-ellecr. Director
11:15 A.M. -Sermon at the Michigan
League by Dr. Bernard Heller--
"Social and Economic
Tendencies in the Old
Testament"
4:00 P.M. -Meeting of the class in
Jewish Ethics led by Mr. Hirsh
Hoodkins.
7:15 P.M. - Class in Dramatic Mo-
ments in Jewish History, led by
Rabbi Bernard Heler.
13:15 P.M-Open house.

I-
MIAILY CL A SMIFTET ADS AE FFECTTV
elig i s Act .$id

Zion Lutheran
Church
Waihington St. at Fifth Ave,
R.C. Stellhorn, Pastor
April 29
9:00 A.M. - Bible School -- Topic:
"Jesus' Standard of
Greatness"
10:30 A.M. - Service-
"Kingdom Songs"
5:30 P.M.-The Student Club will
leave the Zion Lutheran Parish
Hall for an outdoor meeting.

The Fellowship of
Liberal Religion
(Unitarian)
State and Huron Streets
10:45 A.M.-Sunday Morning Sermon:
Prof. R. W. Sellars will speak on:

St. And rews
Episcopal Church
Division at Catherine Street
SERVICES OF WORSHIP
8:00 A.M. - Holy Communion.
9:30 A.M. - Church School.
11:00 A.M.-Kindergarten.


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