PAGEJ FOUIn Published every morning except Monday duing the University y1ar by the Board in Control of Student Publications. Member of Western Conference Editorial Association. The Associated Press is exclusively en- titled to the use for republication of all news dispatches credited to it or not otherwise credited in this paper and the local news pub- lished herein. *Entered at the postoffice at Ann Arbor, Michigan, i a second class matter. Special rate of postage granted by Third Assistant Post- piaster General. Subsc4itiou by carrier, $4.00; by mail, Offices .Ann Arbor Press Building, May- IsO:rd Street. Phones: Editorial, 4925E Business, 2t214. TE ICTIGAN T5I Y K'';L' A vM7~A 3 - ADVICE TO THE LOVELORN DOROTHY STICKS - EDITORIAL STAFF Telephone 4925 MANAGING EDITOR KENNETH G. PATRICK ELditor, ................... .Nelson T. Smith City Editor .............J.. . Stewart Hooker News Editor ............ Rzcbard C. 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Schemm George Hamilton George Spater Di ck Horwich Sherwood Upton x Humphrey Marie Welstead FRIDAY, MAY 3, 1929 ALL HAIL THE SENIORS Each year the Seniors of the Daily don their full dress suits, taketheir oversize blue pencils and step into the lower depths of the OASTDRoLL DISINFECTE1 LIMERICKS LITERARY CRITICSM Joan Lowell's "In the Cradle of the Deep" seems to have plumbed deeper depths of diction than crit- ics care for. Persons acquainted with the young lady assert that her personality is just what you might expect from the life she outlines in her book. Now that it has been proved that she was only on board the "Minnie A. Caine" some sev- enteen months, New York is all agog wondering how the hell she got that way in so short a time. * * C In all essentials a true story- A certain young girl of high station Was found by a pious relation, In a Methodist choir Reading Joan Lowell's quire, And eschewing al thoughts of Salvation. 0 )- - Note-All communications to this department will be kept strictly in the confidence of the Daily staff unless otherwise re- quested. I _rn i Dear Dorothy Sticks: I am a young girl on the Michi- gan campus, considered pretty by my friends. I have never mixed in politics-well, not very much-but am desirous of becoming a B. W. O.1 C. before it is too late. Now, dear Dorothy Sticks, I am writing to ask if I should sacrifice my virtue to my ambition. What would YOU do in the case of. . Mary Gold? Dear Mary, We thought you died last Tuesday, but are happy to see you are well enough to be wor- ried. We think we have the in- side dope on your case. We have heard the brute in ques- tion say that he never takes out a giro who is nice. Let your conscience be your guide! Dorothy Sticks. Dear Miss Sticks: I am a member of a prominent State Street fraternity, and am perplexed by the questoin of whether or not to date the co- educational members of the Uni- versity. My fraternity brothers advise me to ignore them, but where do THEY go on Friday nights? Yours in the bond, Geta Bita Pie. Dear Mr. Pie: Hell, yes! YOU.) (If they'll date Dorothy Sticks. paper to give the lower-classmen a IDear Dorothy: lesson in practical journalism. Thisj is the star issue! The departments, if this needs explanation, are all jumbled. The woman's editor wrote sports: the sport's editor wrote the woman's page. And so the whole paper goes. It'sgreat fun for us. We hope it gives you the same pleas- pre! TO THE LADIES--GOD BLESS 'EM1 It's not every day in the yearI that a member of the women's staff gets to write an editorial-so this will be in thenature;of a battle cry for freedom and other rights. Co-education is an established fact at Michigan and has been for. 79 years. So the men may just as well wake up to accepting it. Even allowing for the usual masculine backwardness, 79 years seems long' enough to us for almost any idea to penetrate.: And, anyway, what's wrong with the co-eds? These half-wit fra- ternities who bar their members, and if not their members their freshmen, from dating co-eds have nothing to reply except that co- eds are co-eds. Of course-and pigs is pigs. They argue that a given girl is good dating material if she happens to live in Ypsilantl -but let her come to Michigan to school and she is way outside the pale-pail-oh, hell, she's out. New we'd like to make it clear that* Ypsilanti girls have nothing on us. On the other hand, and to strengthen the argument, now thatE the auto ban is keeping us back in1 our own back-yards, the co-ed has become a necessity. You can't get very far from home when you're broke and haven't a car, and even Ypsilanti is a long, cold walk. Sol why not "give us little girls a hand?"-or perhaps even a couple# of arms? You don't know whatt the home talent can do until you'veI tried it! I am in a terrible fix, Dorothy, you just must help me. I am one of the few gentlemen left who are torn between love and honor. An organization dear to my heart is convening near THE GIRL this week-end. My fraternity brothers are urging me to go. On the other hand, I have a date with THE OTHER WOMAN for thetSenior Ball tonight. Yours, P. A.T. Dear Gilbert: As the governor of North Carolina once said to the gov- ernor of South Carolina, Wishing you all successs, Dorothy. Dear Dorothy Sticks: I have just turned nineteen. On this eventful occasion, I made a very special trip to Muskegon to be present at a birthday party which I gave. I was remembered by everyone but HER. Yours avariciously, Lark. Dear Lark: Did you have a big cake? If so, we suggest you cut yourself a piece, and ,make yourself at home. Dorothy Sticks. P. & You might try a little home talent. Dearest Dorothy: As a constant reader of your column, I feel free to ask your aid. I am an actress, and am bothered by certain scintillating love-scenes in the forthcoming pro- duction of "Granite." I am affect- ed (or afflicted, as you please) in the neck The leading man has such. molars! Of course, I realize it's "all in the play" but I am afraid of birth-marks. I fear that if this is the price of dramatic, popularity, I shall have to sacri- I fice my fame to my better na- ture How can I produce softening of the teeth in the leading man?f I am no Leatherneck! Painfully, Following Simon and Schuster's announcement of the Lowell opus as biography, Pontifex Maximus of the Human Heart, Heywood Broun, decreed that he felt he had known Jojan ever since she was eleven months old. When the crit- ical storm broke, and the "Minnie A. Caine" was discovered lying in San Francisco harbor, not at all burnt up, and much less sunk, Broun pontificated thus: "It is nevertheless a human document, a great human document." To which some limerickster- There was an old critic named Broun, To Sadists sentimental a boon, Said he-"This my Testament; I find it a Document, Of a girl, and the sea's racy tune." DRAMATIC CRITICSM Comment on Comedy Club and its activities under the Presidential supervision of Thurston Thieme comes, and goes (it may not come off, but there's no question of the going, off or on) thus- There was a young fellow named Thieme Who managed a drama ma- chine. No "part" could perplex, It would cast either sex, The most facile machine ever seen Co-eds come in, at a time like, this for their share of something or other (see the editorial in neigh- boring columns.) There was a bright co-ed from Exeter Who made all the Profs crans their necks at her. But one was so brave As to take out and wave The distinguishing mark of an X at her The social, habits of students find their counterpart (which part?) in other social strata. To wit, this disinfected comment- There was a young plumber named Lee Who was walking his girl byf the sea, Said she: "Let's stop walking,1 I'd rather be talking." n "My God!" cried the plumber,1 "help me." If you recognize that old-timer1 perhaps you'll appreciate this one on the Freshman class- There was a young freshman named Kent1 Whose head was so long that it bent. To save himself trouble, He wore his "pots" double And at once he both came and1 he went. * * * In the day's news there is a note for foreign parts. There was an old scientist from Dossel Who found a peculiar fossil.r He could tell by the twist c Of the fingers and wrist.1 That 'twas the forearm of Paul the Apostle.e Personally we're proud of thef scansion of the last line. But ther comment comes in the form of anc epitaph on the Apostle: "There is a Nature shapes our ends, Rough-hew them how we may " The ramifying reverberations ofc that pun are too dizzying to de-1 Music And Drama o 0i THE SAD STORY OF THE AMERICAN STAGE Written After The Inimitable Style Of Robert Lesi.ie Askren (With Frequent Lapses Of Grammar And Punctuation), Who Twists Words In This SpacehTo Make Mere Snatches Of Knowl- edge Appear To Be Bushels Of Intelligence. I shall confess quite candidly at the outset of this column that the following will convey to the reader nothing whatsoever in the manner of constructive debate on one phase or another of the drama of I our Republic. I know nothing whatever about my subjects ((This last is not after the fashion of Mr. Askren.)) My knowledge concern- ing the American stage is not a thimbleful, yet I am called to pull from the blue of the heavens some discourse on the matter. Hence what I write can be or no more than a verbal deluge ((this is true of Mr. Askren, though not typi- cally an Askrenian confession)) of pretty phrases and vague refer- ences from some obscure corner of my experience. That is all I can do ((or Mr. Askren either)) when, time after time, I am called upon to produce intelligent criticism of subjects to which I am altogether foreign. The American drama is in the doldrums, held fast in the dead air of non-productivity. On the one hand there is the George M. Cohan, the boor, the pagan, the unspeakably innocuous wholesale manufacturer of farce comedies. On the other hand is the in- articulate O'Neill, gasping for breath in the stifling vacuum of odious channels long-since trav- eled by Ilbsen. That is the scene as it appears to me ((this is quite like Mr. Ask- ren)), from infinity on the left to the ultimate on the right. O'Neill who believes that sin is a whole- some part of life, because-God knows why; perhaps because there is so much of it. Cohan, who be- lieves that comedy is the best in life, because-because you can get such a splendid laugh from a show that draws twenty thousand a week for a year and a half. We have O'Neill the crawling caterpillar, peering here and there, feeling and edging, seeking an egress from his morbid thoughts, I and failing there, burrowing deep I in the dark ground of resignation' and hiding his head under the cover of darkness. We have Cohan the busy bumble bee, sucking his honey here and there, stinging you, and buzzing on. That is the sad case of the Amer- ican drama. Ibsen and the Rus- sians did what O'Neill is attempt- I ing, and no artist cares to attempt) what Cohan is doing. On the one hand the field Chas been plowed and' furrowed and sown; on the other ~there is no field. Ahrfor the public, they do not enter into the matter of art. The public, "the public, sir, is a great beast." The public, in short, be damned. To the artist and to the boys and girls of America ((and to Mr. Askren, who also aspires to be a producer and author as well as a critic and who at the present time is in need of a mental truss more, than anything else)) in view of this sad situation, this knotted entanglement of twisted view- points, I give this advice: seek newI worlds to conquer, prepare new fields for culture. Just as a sug- gestion, boys and girls and authors and adolescent playwrights, at- tempt a play that combines the best features of both creeds. Bring O'Neill and Cohan together in a fraternal meeting on common ground. Write a play of a man who has a secret sin-like picking his nose in the bathroom, or allow-) ng black bits of dirt to creep in between his toes. NOTE TO THE SUBSCRIPTION His royal highness, R. Leslie Askren I, has requested me to an- nounce in bold prominence in this column that there would be what he so ignobly and sneeringly term- f ed a "serious" review of Thursday's functions that have to do with the music and the drama on the issue of Saturday, May 4. THE BEGGAR ON HORSEBACK Play Production, the starving child of mother drama on the cam- pus, is going to stage a benefit pro- duction for itself when it plays to) its ever-growing subscription its II EI li'tI --Oco lrl.0008.J. Y. %1. lJ. /. /. I; r. I 'll~. /. I '. /~ '. I "l. /l. /. OJ. /~« /. Il.1. I', a '« I. /l~. / ". '. /. /. /. /Jl. y '. /. _.. I sir fb WAGTERI&COMPANY juor Ilen BTs npe 1&4t feature WILSON BROTHERS Super Shorts 4 Days - MAY 22,23,24,25, 1929 - 6 Concerts HILL AUDITORIUM - ANN ARBOR EARL V. MOORE Musical Director FREDERICK STOCK Orchestral Conductor ERIC DELAMARTER Guest Conductor JUVA HIGBEE Children's Conductor Edith Mason Soprano Chicago Civic Opera Company Jeannette Vreeland Soprano Distinguished American Artist Sophie Braslau Contralto Metropolitan Opera Company Marion Telva Contralto Metropolitan Opera Company Richard Crooks Tenor Premier American Concert Artist Paul Althouse Tenor Metropolitan Opera Company Lawrence Tibbett Baritone Metropolitan Opera Company Richard Bonelli - Baritone Chicago Civic Opera Company Barre Hill Baritone Chicago Civic Opera Company William Gustafson Bass Metropolitan Opera Company Josef Hofmann Pianist Polish Virtuoso Efrem Zimlaist Violinist Hungarian Master The Chicago Symphony Orchestra The University Choral Union Children's Festival Chorus Samson and Delilah Saint Saens The New Life Wolf-Ferrari The Requiem Brahms ii * I I I t k I 19I