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April 26, 1929 - Image 4

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Publication:
The Michigan Daily, 1929-04-26

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in

THE MICHICAN

DAIDY

M'IDAY, , APTJL2.6, 492

"Oo

Published every morning except Monday
during the University year by the Board in
Control, of Student ublications.
Member of Western Conference Editorial
Association.
The Associated Press is exclusively en-
titled to the use for republication of all news
dispatches credited to it or not otherwise
credited in this paper and the local news pub-
lished herein.
Entered at thke postoffice at Ann Arbor,
Michigan, :asecond class matter. Special rate
of postag' granted by Third Assistant Post-
master General.
Subsc-iption by carrier, $4.00; by mail,
Offices: Ann Arbor Press Building, May-
nard Street.
Phones: Editorial, 4925: Business, 21214.
EDITORIAL STAFF
Telephone 4925
MANAGING EDITOR
KENNETH G. PATRICK
Editor.......................Nelson J. Smith
City Editor................ . Stewart Hooker
News Editor............Richard C. Kurvink
Sports Editor............. W Morris Quinn
Women's Editor.............Sylvia S. Stone
Telegraph Editor..............George Staute
Music and Drama...............R. L. Askren
Assistant City Editor.........Robert Silbar
NMight Editors
foseph E. Howell Charles S. Monroe
onald J. Kline Pierce Rosenberg
Lawrence R. Klein George E. Simon
George C. Tilley

TOASTED ROLLS

At+.-

EXTRA! EXTRA! of my life raising that kid so's he
MICH. DAILY GETS should go to the devil all of a sud-
BIG NEWS SCOOP den!
Pearson Snoop, special news cor- Pa-He'll be here pretty quick, I
respondent and second-story man guess.... what's that noise in the
gets all the inside dope twenty-four basement?

his automatic)....well I'll kill you
Murphy!....So help me God, 1
will!
Wop-So help me God I'd like to
see you try it! Put that thing down!
Torrents-So help me God, I
will, by God!
Wop-So help me God you won't!
Torrents-I will!
One-Eye-(protectively) You will

Strings .. Supplies
. . Repairs . .
for all Musical Instruments
Schaeberle & Son
MUSIC HOUSE
110 S. Main St.

I The Choicest of Wholesome Foods

I

Paul L. Adams l
Morris Alexaandf
C A. Askren]
Bertram Askwitha
Louise Behyme-
Arthur Bernse u
Seton C. Bove
Isabel Charles
L. R. Chubb
Frank $. Cooper
Helen Domine
Margaret Eckels
Douglas Edwards
Valborg Egeland
Robert J. Feldman
Marjorie Follmer
William Gentry
Ruth Geddes
David B. Hempstead Jr,
Richard Jung
Charles R. aufman
Ruth Kelsey

crters
Donald E. Layman
Charles A. Lewis
Marian McDonald
Henry Merry,
Elizabeth Q uaife
Victor Rabinowitz
Joseph A. Russell
Anne Schell
Rachel Shearer
Howard Simon
Robert L. Sloss
Ruth Steadman
A. Stewart
Cadwell Swansen
Jane Thayer
Edith Thomas
Beth Valentine
Gurney Williams
Walter Wilds
George E. Wohlgemuth
Edward L. Warner Jr.
Cleland Wyllie

BUSINESS STAFF
Telephone 21214
BUSINESS MANAGER
EDWARD L. HULSE
Assistant Manager--RAYMOND WACHTER
Department Manage
Advertising................. Alex X. Scherer
Advertising............. A. James Jordan
Advertising........... arW. Hammaer
Service................Herbert E. Varnum
irculati.on..............George S. Bradley
Accounts..............Lawrence E. Walkiey
Publications............... Ray M. Hofelich

Mary Chase
Jeanette Dale
ernor Davis
Bessie Egeland
Sally Faster
Anna Goldberg
Kasper Halverson
George Hamilton
Lack Horwich
ix Hurmphrey

Asitants
Marion Kerr
Lillian Koviasky
Bernard Larson
Hollister Mabley
I. A. Newman
Jack Rose
Carl F. Schemm
George Spater
Sherwood Upton
Marie Wellstead

Night Editor-DONALD J. KLINE
FRIDAY, APRIL 26, 1929
MICHIGAN SCHOOLMASTERS
With the advent of another ses-
sion of the Michigan Schoolmas-
ters' club, the University again di-
rects its attention toward the re-
lationship which it has with sec-
ondary education. For every college
the influx of ill-equipped high
school graduates is a perennial
problem. Accordingly, the Univer-
sity welcomes the teachers of sec-
ondary education to the University,
in the hope that some advance may
be achieved toward correcting the
weaknesses of a system which al-
lows incompetent students to be
graduated from high school, and
with the assurance that they may
enter the University.
The general theme of the con-
vention this year is "curricula re-
vision." Groups of teachers will
confer with the purpose of en-
larging their views on changing
their subject matter, in order that
their students may be better equip-
ped with a knowledge of the course.
But activity in such a direction im-
plies a confidence in the efficacy
of mere subject matter to educate
one.
There is, however, a more effi-
cacious result incurred by assem-
bling the high school. instructors
of the state in a gathering at thef
University. By so doing, the
Schoolmasters' club is promoting a
remedy of the problem outlined
above which possesses far greater
potency than simply changing the
order or inclusion of certain ma-
terial in the curricula. Inasmuch
as high school training treats
chiefly of fundamentals, of fund-
amental abstractions in mental
training, the competence of its pro-
pounders, their ability to present
their own views, to offer kindly and
gracious interest in their students
are of much greater importance
than whether they teach loga-
rithms or quadratics in the second
year, or at all.
It would seem, then, that the
principal gain to be had from the
sessions and conferences of the.
next two days lies in the stimulus
to better individual teaching de-
rivable from the contacts afforded
by mutual consultation. With the
individual instructor, rather than;
in the obscurities of a textbook,
lies the ability to make the high
school class rooms "fit homes for
the spirit of learning."
0

hours ahead of other papers!
* * *
-And the Michigan Daily here-
with takes utmost pleasure in pre-
senting to its public all the exclu-I
sive inside details about the big
*c* *
"CITY SQUALL!"
* * * .
At a late hour last night the
presses were ordered stopped by
Manager Mudgard N. Pulse, who
has an unfailing eye for business,
and for the interests of his read-
ing public.
Working with drippng brow and
rolled-up sleeves, Snoop has fath-
fully constructed, in synopsis from
the scathing and unbelievable facts
a corrupt city administration at its
worst in years. Read all the dope-
LEARN THE FACTS.
Big Underworld Expose!
Corruption, Vice, Graft
-Found Flagrant, Rampant!
EVERYBODY IS DISGRACED!
"It seems, strangely enough,"
Snoop panted; breathlessly, "that
last night was ah auspicious one
in metropolitan history, for today
....the Greatest City in the World
stands before us....stripped of her
glory, honor, integrity.... even of
her mantle of 'purity .... nude, as
it were. Startling revelations have
made everything plainly visible, to
a Public already too-long hood-
winked, bullied, babied, and cajoled
by fawning political demagor-
gons....."
HEY!
BIG MUNICIPAL EXPOSE!
CITY CORNER INVOLVED
IN BEER-WAR SCANDAL!
STATE'S ATTORNEY, TOO!
Waggng their heads in dignified
but appalled horror at the hideous
facts of the expose as it was un-
folded before them, the members
of the Investigation and Intelli-
gence Committee of Civic Welfare,
immediately ordered a thorough
going investigation of the scandal
before any facts were made public.
It is officially believed they have
laid plans for a complete revision
of the matter at hand....either
that, or whitewash the whole mess!
.i* *
BUT YOU SHALL KNOW ALL-
AND KNOW IT AT ONCE!
The reputation of any newspaper
is ,a sacred thing, and so is that of
our own SNIPPS-BLOWHARD
group!...It is therefore our inten-
tion to perform an invaluable pub-
lic service and put youse taxpay-
ing citizens wise to what's going on
about town, and we quote directly
from the original manuscript pre-
pared by Pearson Snoop, special
correspondent for foreign cities.
READ FOR YOURSELF!
BE CONVINCED!

Below Appears a Brief Synopsis,
With Incidental Embellishments,
Of The Original Document.
ACT ONE
A peaceful home scene in a
charming family of common Irish
citizens. On the left, imagine if
you can, a perfectly magnolious
davenport and bay window. The
room is lighted by the glittering
flash of the cut-glass chandelier
on the ceiling. This here is a modem
ern play, see?....and cut-glass
chandeliers are the latest thing.
Matilda Dugan, Clarence's wife
(Clarence, he's her husband, and
also the City Coroner....watch
him!) wanted one of them there
chandeliers and she got it.... but

Ain't you never hoid of us?
Torrents- (helping)..
know, a. Terrible Johnny
rio and his outfit!

Wop Murphy-Yeah!....the Sout'

side gang!
Torrents-(burbling) You
member.... They're the guys

re-
that

bumped off tha president of the
So-E-Z Cartage Company..... and
six other guys....remember, now?
Matilda-Oh yeah!....SURE....
I remember now! (hospitably)...,
take off yer coats, gents, an' set
down!....I'm so glad to meet cha.
One-Eye-Tanks, lady... .do ya
mine if I take off my shoes awhile?
I'm dog-tired!
Torrents-Hell yes!....I mean,
Hell No!....make yourself to home.
Matilda-Get the gentlemun a
couple uh drinks, Torrents, me
bye.
Wop-No tanks, lady.. . .I don't
touch d' stuff, myself.... it ain't
safe!
Torrents- (good-naturedly)
You know we only get tha best
imported stuff!
One-Eye-Imported me eye!....
where 'd ya git dat stuff??
Matilda-(knowingly) George....
George, he's my husband....he
gets it from Detroit.
Torrents-What in hell did you
tell 'em for? Let 'em find out for
'emselfs.
Matilda-(Unheeding) An' if
you'll stay awhile, gents, I'll mix
you a new one that'll bend ya dou-
ble--(she calls after the depart-
ing Torrents) Torrents....shake up
a load of Fumigation Fizz'..
(smiling) ....yes that's what we call
it.... an ugly name, but a beautiful
drink....you see so many beautiful
pink elephants and things....I
ijust love it!
Wop-(engagingly) Then that
makes it nice for both of you, don't
it?
One-Eye-(giving him a jab)
Shut up, you lousy Polock!
Matilda-bon't you men wanna
go downstairs and have a few
games ah billiards?
Wop-Naw.... we're all right
right here.
(Torrents enters with a tray and
shaker of drinks. He beams)
Torrents-Well, folks!....here we
are!
One-Eye-Yeah, Torrents.... here
today, gone tomorra!....
Torrents-Maybe yes and maybe
no, Sluefoot.
Matilda- George.... you see
George, he's my husband....says
this makes the best drink if you
use one-fourth grape-juice, one-'
fourth benedictine, one-fourth ker-
osene, six pineapples, and blend to
suit.
One-Eye-To suit who?
Wop-Why, ennybody, you nit-
wit!....You....me.... the Public..
everybody!....That sounds good to.
me Mizzuz Dugan.... gimme the
formula an' we'll split fifty-fifty on
the profits.
Torrence-Go ahead, Ma!....
There's millions in it! Think of it
..everybody over fifteen is a cus-
tomer.... what'll we call it?
Matilda-Goody!....and won't
Pa be tickled! Call it Blowtorch!
One-Eye - (impulsively) You
don't know when you're well off,
Murphy, my friend. I think you1
better lay offa this mannafack-!
cha-ring end of the game. It ain't
safe, an' you tie up too much cap-,

Matilda-Ferget tha noise in tha
basement and go look for Torrents!
(Pa puts on his shoes and exits)
Dugan enters sheepishly with two
gangsters))
Torrents-(eyeing hiss ma) Hello{
Ma, old Girl'..
Matilda-(hecalls her "Ma" for
short)-Who are them two gentle-
men?
(She clicks her gum load, and
reaches for a chocolate)
Torrents-These guys?....Hah!..
..They're not gentlemen.... they're
gangsters?
Matilda-Wh-who.... what??
One-eye Spingola-Sure ting!....

You
Flor-

11

not!
Torrents-I will too!
Wop--Well I'd like to see you
just try it, smarty!
Torrents - (convincingly). ... I
will too now, you see if I don't!
Matilda-Well go ahead....the
suspense is terrible!
One-Eye-(threatening) Remem-
ber, Dugan, if you kill Murphy
here, he won't be able to tell you
very well what they done with them
six trucks of Scotch!
Torrents- God!...that's right
too. Thanks, One-Eye.... (oni-
mously, to Wop)....Now that I
think of it, Wop, where in hell did
you hide them six trucks of Scatch
we wuz bringin from Dee-troyt?
Matilda-OhmyGod! Six trucks
of GOOD likker here in (.........)
(censored) an' you go and hide it!
Torrents-That's what I say!
You oughtta be shot. Suppose my
father finds out?
Matilda-I think it's a crime....
and you ought to be hung!
One-Eye-He is already, but he
doesn't know it.
Torrents-Just wait 'til tha
State's attorney gets you for not
splittin' up on the hi-jack split....
boy!....he'll get you, Murphy.
Wop-Whadda ya mean, he'll get
ME?
Torrents-He'll get you too, Spin-
gola!
(Ma Dugan laughs as the ropes
break and the curtain falls.)
Act Two-Six months later.
Scene, Dearborn and Madison Sts.
(how did you guess it? SURE
this happens in Dubuque, Ioway!)
.. beneath the BOSTON-STORE
Clock. Time: Noon .. ..Curtain
rises on clock ringing twelve times
....(clever stage technique, what?)
Torrents-(meeting Wop) What
did you do with; them trucks, Mur-
phy?
Wop-I forgot by now, Torrents
honest. That was six months
ago. (clever too, eh?)
Torrents-All right, Murphy...:
but remember, a Dugan never for-
gets!
Wop-Jiggers, Torrents, here
comes Johnny Florrio!
(enter Florrio, suspiciously)
Florrio-Oh no ya don't!....come
back here Murphy! (Murphy runs)
* * *
(So does Dugan)
Murphy-The hell I will!
Florrio-The hell you won't!
Editor's note: (Now this is the
big scene....so hold yer seats, an'
don't get excited.... it may be
epochal.....and climactic.....and
subtle.... but everything comes out

11

Remember

Mother

11

with a box of

SPEC I ALS',
2 Pillsbury's Cake Flour and mixing
bowl free ........ . ..

Our Delicious
Chocolates or
Assorted Sweets
We will pack and Mail Direct

4 cans Peaches, large size
12 Palm and Olive Soap.
2 cans Home Grown Peas,
White House Coffee ... . .
Ham End, good size, per lb.

1.00
.60
Early June .25
.47
.15

Swe etand
212 So. Main St.
REFRESHMENTS
Hot Waffles and
Sandwiches
Home-made Candy

I

ThiS
SIokeO .K.
Erie, Pennsylvania
Sept. 25, 1928
Larus & Brother Company
Richmond, Va.
Dear sirs:
Having justreturned from myfish ing
camp in northern Ontario, and in the
reflections upon a fortnight of most
excellent weather, wonderful fishing
and complete camp comfort, I feel
that an appreciation of Edgeworth is
due, as one of the principal factors of
our enjoyment.
In past years, I have taken along a
supply of various well-known brands
of smoking tobacco, never having be-
come fully acquainted with the differ-
ence in the smoking qualities of the
so-called high-grade tobaccos now
upon the market, and acting upon a
tip from an old smoker friend, and as
a matter of convenience in packing,
this year I took along a dozen tins of
Edgeworth Plug Slice.
There are no places nor conditions
in existence where the contentment
drawn from a briar pipe meets with
keener enjoyment or more critical
analysis than beside the camp-fire
after a strenuous day in the great
outdoors.
It is the unanimous opinion of the
smokers among my party that Edge-
worth is without a peer, and that its
smoothness, fragrance and fine smok-
ing qualities are unsurpassed and un-
matched; and I thank you for making
it possible to obtain it.
Yours truly,
(Signed) H. N. Curtiss
Extra High Grade
SMoking Tobacco

OSCAR 0. M. VOGEL. MARTIN H. VOGE
VOG 0E L f BROS m AR KET

Phone 6656

Genuine Spring Lamb, and Fresh Broilers
Fowl and Roasting Chickens
Don't forget our H. & A. Canadian Bacon

339 South Main Street

Mrs. Anna Kalmbach

0

.76

for the best. Ralph
son and God himself
that.)
Murphy-Well you
stop me!

Waldo Emer-
take care of
just try and

_. ...: ,
t
" R

Florrio-You want I should....
huh?
(He pulls out two collapsible ma-
chine-guns from his pockets and
waves them wildly around his head
as he shoots the downtown slum-
bering city into pandemonium.
Crashing store windows are heard
on all sides.. ..and the Boston
Store Clock (we've fooled you here)
strikes ONE, as it falls from its
chain and kills the noted gunch-
man of Hal Slopponi the eminent
syndicate operator who is (society
note, other papers please copy)
spending the winter months at leis-
ure on his Miami estate.
Torrence-(Returning).....Well
I'll be damned!
Murphy-(likewise) This will
never do, Dugan' ..Never!.... ,we1
shouldn't 'a started it... .with Slop-
poni gone the city will get cleaned
up sure as hell!
Torrence-(br'eaking down, com-
pletely. He sobs, as he puts his
head on Wop's shoulder.) We can't
have that, can we, Woppo?
Dugan senior drives by in his
limousine and overhears the con-
versation.
Dugan-(helplessly). Dugan! ..
my boy, don't!
Torrents-(boyishly) Why the
hell not?....you may be Coroner
now, and State's attorney after the
election, but it'll take more than
that to stop us!
(ASBESTOS)
See tomorrow's Daily for the re-
maining final chapter in this vivid
picture of the pertinaceous deal-
ings of a corrupt city administra-
tion with Gangland. Order your
copy NOW!,.

*F
Springtime.
Golf-tennis-parties-dances-
Swimming- all vie for attention
luring that last crowded month
sefore examinations.
Don't forget that the folks at
dome are anxious to hear from
you. They'll appreciate a tele-
phone call.

Long Distance
ingly Low
Reverse

Rdtes are Suipris-
and You Can
the Charges.

I- EI

1

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