I

IV


.FT

14

F Characters.
The Professor.
The Professor's Wife.
The Young Lady.
The Young Man.
The Student Critic.
The Grouch.
Edgar Guest.
The Professor's Wife: Oh
wonderful. -Wonderful!
the first night. too!

CARROLL LANE FENTON
Uniersity of lfichiqan

Is it a;successful orchestra? We.
have none Of-.
The Young Critic: The symphony is
wic of the great things Frauce has

that was
And -for

The Professor: Waiter!
The Young Lady: I think Mr. Gigli
is so gra-a-a-and! He's just heav-
enly!
The Professor: Waiter!
Tihe Student Critic: It is the fashion to
begin May festivals with a tenor
. Mr. Gigli is a distinguished ten-
or . . . the finest operatic tenor.
now in America, and without super.-
ior in the entire world . .
The Grouch: Bull! Get a rhyming dc--
tionary-or a phonograph!
The Young Man: I'l1 say tHis Gigli
bird's hot stuff! He oughta sing
somethin' live, like the dope outa
"Hitchv Koo', 'nn ")v!
The Professor's Wife: He'll never do
that. His taste is too adnur'a)mi vt,.
that.
The Grouch: His taste is damnable.
And he might better sing "Hitchy
Kioo' than
The Young Lady: We have a record
of "La Donna e Mobile" by Caruso.
It's just heavenly.
The Student Critic: It is a great song
indeed, and Mr. Gigh sang it with;
true feeling,:-as he did the other
magnificent selections from operat-
ic masterpieces. He is a superb ar-!
tist, such as we have sorely neededl
since Ca- .
The Professor: His records are very'
successful - The Victor people con-
trol all the successful singers.
The Grouch: Successful, yes. But
what has that to do with art, or in-
telligence, or civilization? Rigo-
letto is rot, just as most of Verdi
is rot, and "Donna e Mobile" is the
worst thing in the whole opera. And
this Gigli is a't mushy as the stufi
he sings, and the stuff critics write
about him. He's as mushy as Ital-
ian opera itself, if you leave ou'
Wolf-Ferrari and a few of the lat
er composers. He acts like a inem
her of a Yid vaudeville act in
ten-twent-thirt variety house, and
I'll wager he has less beains!
The Professor's Wife., Oh no Surely
you don't mean that
The Grouch: I mean every wNord o
it. On the average, Italian opera is
about as subtle as a Mack. Sennett
comedy, and its critics have all the
cultural depth of a movie fan.
T1ie coung i-ay: I adore Mack Sen
IE'tt!
The Grouch: Doubtless.
Tho Young Man: Razzberries for you
Charotte! I'll say you take th(
barbed wire ear muffs and the cast-
iron slippers.
The Student Critic: Italian opera is
the peak of musical achievement
and the composers represented on
Mr. Gigli's program are without
rivals in the .
The Grouch: Without rivals? Did
you ever hear of Moussorgsky, of
It is the pohCY of this tnagacine to
pubifi ~riccsof opinion by both
stu;dents and faculty Wembers if, in
thre judyntcnt of the editor, these arti-
cles are of iitri1:si'c value antd interest.?ut m a tht n :sei s
sol}C-ited or 'notntarily offered air
P rCe"Ssalv i n.; acr'rd Cwit A edit >ri
opifionther piileofo.

Richard Strauss, of Wolf-Ferrari, whole torrents of the most vehement given us . ..Mr. Stock conducted
of DeKoven, of Prokofieff? In fact,! applause! from memory ..superb tribute to
dear Critic, d(d you over hear of The Professor: He is an excellent a the composer "Me brought out,
modern opera? tist. My dear, have we any of his with deftly articulated expression,
The Young Lady: I think you're hor- records? all thetsubtle modifications of tem-
rid! The Professor's Wife: No, but we 1 , with rinemetsho authorda
The Young Man: Say, can this high- shall get some tomorrow. We real- hich are hidden
g , hallgetBonz tomrro'. W rea- }from the public.
brow chatter and come down to ly must. rouch: ow y
+ arth. This air 't'the Fitz nor that; The Grouch: How'd you find out about
earh. hisai't he it no tht! The Young Lady: We have some.
joint you call tle Dill Pickle. What The Grouch: For God's s-y. .thm?
the he .[..The Professor: Young Man! The Young Lady: Now you're going to
The Professor: Young Man! The Grouch: . . sake, -let's forget say nasty things about the sym-
The Young Lady: Arthur! this man Gigli. Otherwise we'll ex- lhcny! And about the orchestra!
~Th~e oung lan: I-m-mnaimu. haust the Little Fairy's stock of ad- And about Mr. Stock!
The Stunt Criti: Mr. Gjectives. Come on, critic, turn your The Young Man: Let him rave. I
The Student Critic: Mr. Gigl's rendi hose on something else. ain't bothered.
t ss The Student Critic: I insist that Mr. The Grouch: Neither is the table.
without question incomparably Gigli has wondrous ardour of per- The Professor's Wife: But your opin-
ea. msonality and magic of tone. His ion?
ior. I entrancing mezza voce and his com- Tle Grouch: On the symphony I have
The Grouch: Gigli didn't sing a thing mand of legato . . . none. Liko most of the audience,
that others can't sing better. Bone1E Tle Young Man: For the uv-va Mike I did not understand it. Stock used
or Pattiera could clean him out on lay off! Whaddyu think yu are, a to go in for mollycoddle "tone
that "Tosca" aria. Schipa has him press agent maybe? poems", about trickling brooks and
backed clear off the map in lyric The Grouch: Precisely. Or a side- twittering birdies . . . they got my
stuff. Muratore or Crimi could do show barker. gcat,and I kept away. Beethoven I
that "Pagliac : ' thing much better, The Professor's Wife: I think the catn verstehen now and then, but
-eVen thoughl it was (iFgii's L. ' Chicago orchestra plays beautiful- most symphonies floor me. I get
number. His voice is not clear-; ly. That Franck symphony . . ' lost in them . . . it's easy to get
sounds like a sc:'atchy record played' The Young Lady: I adored that sym- lost, isn't it, Critic? Only I know
wi t a bum needic. occasionaiy ie e phony!' i'm lost, and you sling words
clears and really sings - The Professor: Yes, symphony . . . andget lost, again
The S:,udent Critic:Gigli's artistry in symphony orchestra :s it not? Is The Professor'S Wife: But we are neg-
the "Pagliace;" aria was superb. { it a good orchestra? They do not lecting the Festival Chorus.
«.7 t - .-. .,7....-..,f mi'e.c,,,,,,of,,, e . ;n« r,. . , ! . noai tl Vnr R s" t

Mlr. Babso Settles ceding sentence is not an exclamation,1ont le a meal for
a falliing infection, w ish." -
I et me quote a child's jump-rope Only 78 per cent of
ED ARD C. MACK rhyme which was included in the test. 'raded this version "1
I do not ascribe to it any partieulai- As for Masefield's "
- n "' excellence, but simp y ask if it may of the finest things
The wise business man goes. in for. ferring to the spiritual forces of life t sbe considered a moderately good language, 30 per cent
religion after he's gotten his first mil- are very. harmful. This materialis- ;jiu : ne rhyme, when compared to E.'s graded it correct
lion. A few 'fat donations to some :ic trend is distinctly dangerous and the one' tfollows it. cent considered it thi
church,'a scholarship founded in some every college graduate should use his' "Frog b. eriver, hop! hop! hop! four stanzas. Mr.
religious institution, and he has more influence to stop it and check it , . p in th ater=pl p. plop! pl.op! Fear" also suffered gi
than made up for his years of .for- . . When asked to contribute to a Hungry fish a waiting Car hini, feared that most of o
getfulness. So thinks many a busy man college, find out what the college is How many strke o you tink le']"do not care very muh
of affairs.. So thinks many a college teaching as to the fundamentals of swim?" is English literatul
student. ;usiness....Again I present the sentimental e taught subject in th
sion, and do not even ask my readers sems seldom to have
'When an institution. so obviously "Conditions are getting so bad they to linger over -the first line: stalin a discriminatir
dedicated to the pursuit of the dollar must be checked. It would be far - 1enllitle frog, in myr. the sosstft.'eostr gy 'distcmwasto1
as the Babson statistical corporation, better for the country .if some col- it go to swfim m'n tri pond too oft, (Continuedvas t
takes the trouble to send repeated leges were closed up altogether than
letters to its thousands of clients on to'have them continue to teach tie
this subject, you may well imagino materialistic economic doctrines that
there is something worthy of atten- they are teaching today. Failing to
tion being said. When Mr. Roger W. teach the importance of the greatI.
Babson, internationally known for spiritual forces is not only doing the 0 U needn't both e
decades as the greatest living statis- country much harm, but is giving the
tical expert, writes a whole book on students an idea which is absolutely about receipts wher
that subject, you may be convinced wrong economically -and statistically. -pyall by e
of -it. The great need of the hour is more VOU pa a bills
In the last fifteen years Babson has sane religion. . .r
written quite a number of financial Babson has made statements her or your returned vouch
books; some of which have been which every college student is to some e are a I the ret
translated into foreign languages, and extent qualified to judge. And whate
are consulted the world over. On !one- can deny the lack of respect needed.
May 8, a "Special letter" was sent shown by many professors for "ap- *
over the country, especially addressed plied religion" in business. How many
to -"Clients Who are College Gradu- instrueters in economics eourise
ates." In this communication Babson teach the spiritual uprightness in
critically points to certain phases of business is a money-making proposi-
the modern college which have been tion? This letter was read bly the
receiving some attention recently. men who largely control the destinies
Many easily forgot it when the "Goose of America, many of whom are the
Step" charged us with too much ma- benefactors of colleges; all of whom
terialism and harmful teaching in our are potential givers. Unless improve-
colleges, but the most Pollyannasque ments are made in the "fundamentals
optimism will be shaken when he of prosperity," as now taught in the S
finds that R. W. Babson, who aims !schools and colleges of the county,
solely to show his clients how to their support will surely be with-
gain wealth and prosperity, has es- drawn. SAVINGS BANK
.G'used the same cause. In this "Spe- Thus the issue is none the less vi-
cial Letter" of a week or so ago Bab- tal for having been 'shouted from W
son included a self-explanatory para- church pulpits. It demands a heari. a shingon
graph as follows: -a trial in the practical world. If
"For some years this Organization it does not get a public one it will
has been emphasizing the importance be tried in the offices of the nation's
o tle spiritual factor in business; this business men and the verdict may be
has not been done in the interests of a sad one for hundreds of colleges
any church or sect. Moreover, it has that depend on their support for exist-
at times been awkward and embr-, ence.
rassing to take a. stand on such a
question. It is only human nature' BOOK NOTES r
that, after taking such a stand, we
should he seriously scrutinized and "The Globe Trotter" (Doubleday,
criticized. Thus not only do we get Page and company) by H. I. Phillips,
no- thanks, but we have subjected is a collection of anecdotes and hu-
ourselves to a great deal of unneces- morons little theses from the pen of
sary criticism. On the other hand, one of the best column conductors in
we could not have been honest with newspaperdom. Phillips' column In
clients without frankly -telling what the New York Globe is one of the =
statistics cler'ly demonstrate to be most popular in the great metropolis,
s t td o t e o ithe fact and in this book he has sought to
When Babson discovers by conult- bring together his best offerings.
ing his latest information, that it will It is clever throughout and pug-
be to the financial advantage of is gent with wit and humor. Phillips
clients not to buy oil at that time, at times turns satirist and stabs at:-
he writes them. For the same rea- the heart of things which usually are 2
son, apparently, he has written this immune from attack. Government, 2.THE DANDY"
letter to college graduates. . In other prominent officials, the housewife, the
words, he believes it will contributo Kaiser, none are safe from his pen.
to their prosperity to do and not to "The Globe Trotter" should make n'
do certain things.' . an excel'ent and entertaining vaca ew te
"Two men," says Babson, "graduate tion companion. College students,'
from the same law school and get the too, would appreciate it as a means
same degree;-one uses his education of whiling away the weary hours
to uphold 'the law an. the other ,xues: spent in stuffy lecture rooms. It was Ta"
his education' to helfimen evade' the l;ritten with one purpose-to be hu "They is a new
law. Two - chemists graduate -fro mnorous-and it has succeeded.
the same technical school in the same. atr hc o eel
class;-one uses hiss training to make JUDGIG P TR
foods pure; and the other uses thenin G POeTRY' the trend of style next
same training to adltrtefod." -
The latter men in the instances cited S'ng me a song, O please! year. Narrower Las ts,
neglected to carry religion into theiryj A song of ships and sailor-men, =.
businesses. These two men cannot Of parrots and tropical trees,' and plain stitching - in
be denied; they, exist. Babson's l-' Of islands lost in the Spanish Main,'2
lustrations are strikingly unimpeach- Which no man ever may see again, black' or brown calfskin.
alest.Inseedentr ougtynkmpath- Of fish and coral under the waves,
his letter was written to be readbi g And sea horses stabled in great
some of the greatest financial minds Sea Shell, Sea Shell,
in the world today, you might expect Sing me a song, 0 please!"
to find them so. . This version was marked "Best"' by
Passing over- further illustrations o1;42 per cent of the P. T. 0. E. The
this idea, there are discovered more sentimental version is quoted below:
interesting assertions in the next few "Tender. tender sea shell, -
lines: t p oWilt thou tell me, please,
thei Of thy happy, happy home,
to uge ou t us yor inluece n 'Naththetropc tees

to urge o to use your 11f ue6 in 'eat h ey topic re _
having our 'young people at school iAlh, the coral islands!
and college taught the truth of the Aim, the w'Sondroes fish! G rotz
situation.- There is alton"gether too F,'r such. a song I'd give theeI deartz
mush materiaismn in our schools and at a shell could wisd."
Colleges. e puicdoc en The utter banality of the last two 17 EASEIN
the private reports of many~ proles- lines alone is enugh to condom-un thec
sors are harmful. The talks - which p1w"M,. but exaictly 50 per cent of our
many professors ,give, sneer~iigy r, - T . .make t Bst." T'he pre- ))
- - ,- - f 9e { +a{W1 t F IlHH r ihlf Mfr ltIu t/ piit rrmal!Il ..

1

And thle applause! There were

record for the Victor . . . no .

(Lolitinuea Oll rage hilgnL)




1=-
Romance andSvin g
- -
The world is too apt to notice externals and to praise the specta ular and
picturesque. We all are thrilled -by the daring of Columbus, defying the 2
stormy Atlantic in his tiny ship. The deeds of the young English bloods of
K - Drake's time read like some magic fairy book. What we should not forget E
is -that the pawning of the queen's jewels gave Columbus his opportunity -
eand that the war ships that whpped the Spanish Armada were fitted out by
told British Shop-keepers
-ea
So today many a man s sudden and spectacular rise to fame and fortunc
is not hal so sudden or spectacular as it appears 'on the surface. "A solid -
founidation has been carefully built before the superstructure catches the eye
= of the public. And an important part of this foundation is saving, for with-
out saving there can be no true industrial growth.
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