SUNDAY

FEATURE

SECTION

PLEMENT

LITERARY

U t~r Ak iian 4&zi1tj

SECTION
TWO

VO. XXXI. No. 88. ANN ARBOR, MICHIGAN, SUNDAY, JANUARY 30, 1921 PRICE FIVE CENTS
SUDENT GOVERNMEN OUTLINED




Hatter

Attracts

Aluch Attention;
Plans Indejinitei

PROFESSOR

REEVES AND GAINES, 21E DISCUSS POSSIBILITY OF
INSTITUTING SOME. SUCH SYSTEM ON
CAMPUS

(By Barney Darnton)
Of late there has been quite a bit of discussion on the campus in regard
to student government. As usual in matters of political or semi-political
affairs, all sorts of views have been voiced; we have radicals, conservative
progressives (the terms are not mutually contradictory), and the out-and-out
stand-patters. Just what action will be taken cannot as yet be predicted;
that there will be some action is apparent.
Last Sunday there was a meeting of upperclassmen for the purpose
of instituting an investigation of the possibilities of the establishment of
some sort of efficient student control over those matters which can be
handled by the students themselves. Before discussing what is planned to
accomplish this end, a word about the aim of student government will
be ap propos. This is what Prof. J. S. Reeves of the department of politi-
cal science thinks about it.
In the first place he thinks that as a principle, students should have
a voice in their government. His reason for this is the fact that a large
percentage of the undergraduate body has reached the voting age and so
should be in position to decide its own problems to the best interest of all
concerned. But where the professor is in the dark is the manner of applying
the principle. Here is the way he reasons:
Students are now subject to two institutions, the laws of the state and
the rulings of the University. The state laws cover matters which could

Profession Of
Stick Slipping
Is Venerable'
TRAINING COUNTS GREATLY IN
EDUCATION OF ANg
ENGINEER,
(By E. P. Lovejoy)
One of the most ancient, if not the
oldest, of all professions, is that of1
engineering. Starting even before the,
construction of the Sphinx, and de-,
scending through the time of Caesar,3
up to the modern engineering crea-
tions which make a happy life possile,;
the engineers have always occupied a1
foremost place in the advancement of
civilization.
Considering these facts, is it not re-
markable the remarks that are to bej
heard any afternoon, as the shops
pour out their. quota of begrimed
workers?
"For goodness sake, will you look
at that," from a dainty representative
of the "How I Can Dance" sorority,
and the much dandiefied gent in the
latestfashions, who studiously (?)
entertains himself in a "business ad"
course condescends to explain that
the blue shirted apparition is one of
"them engineers," variously known as
slip stick artists, boilermakers, tin-
smiths, and narrow-minded engineers.
Treat 'Em Like
During the war, much uncalled for
comment was passed by many people
on the conduct, actions, and doings of
the city of Washington, et .al. Most,
of the comment was vague, derogatory
and largely worthless, being based on
anything but facts.
A similar comparison will be found
in the study of the criticisms of the
engineering college, if taken in col-
laboration with the facts.
In spite of the popular belief,
Young's Modulus, coefficients of ex-
pansion, and the slide rule are not
the engineer's bible, and there is
about as much chance of his forgetting
that he's apt to become decultured as
there is for the Gargoyle to become
famous, which-we all agree-is ex-
tremely small.
A baseball player throws a certain
ball, over and over, possibly 1,000
times a week. When the day of the
game comes, he is given an entirely
new ball, similar, yet different from
the one to.which he has become ac-
customed, yet if his practice has been
diligent-he makes good, 'for he has
trained himself.
Counts For Training
Now as the matter really is, all the
engineer's college experience counts
for is training. First we have a given
(Continued on Page Two)

Occasionally from the myriad of pub-
lished material which is heaped to-
gether and classed all too loosely as
literature, comes a book which, either
,because of its real merit or on account
of the unique quality of'its style, ar-
rests the attention of the public.
The campus of the University of Mich-
igan, being a bit more conservative
than- the great public-at-large, re-
Lquires a bit more of a shock, and
when it at last does wake up, take
notice, and either arffim or emphati-
cally deny the charges made by any
author, one may be sure that the
book is decidedly out of the ordin-
ary.
Questions Purpose
When F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote
"This Side of Paradise" it is doubt-
ful just what purpose he may have
had in mind. Perhaps it was conceived
merely with the idea of money-mak-
ing; perhaps with a view to awaken-
ing the country to the alleged atti-
tude of college students towards life
in general and Princeton in particu-
lar. At least, Fitzgerald has certain-
ly realized any hopes which he may
have had in both of these fields, for
besides having a prodigious sale, the
book has awakened at once a storm

of protest and a thunder of applause.
The author's name has run the whole
gamut of reviwers adjectives, both
good and bad, and "This Side of Para-
dise" has been, at least among the
youth of the country, the most talked-
of book of the day.
And why? Because of its literary
merit? H ar dly! Because of any
deeply motivated character delinea-
tion? Again, hardly. "This Side of
Paradise" is nothing more or less
than the story of what one might
term, the super-sophisticated colleg-
ian, and it has appealed to many other
super-sophisticated college men simp-
ly because it is written along,. the
lines which they can understand.
There are no subleties to be traced
out in plot or in development, and the
book runs along the rather usual, or
better, quite unusual lines of the av-
erage college life.
Book Is Clever
But the book is clever. The mere
fact that Fitzgerald proved to be the
pioneer in the field of realistic col-
lege story, or rather, the first man to
achieve popularity with a book of that
sort, is sufficient to accord him some
praise,"yet after reading "This Side of
(Continued on Page Two)

AND

THE DAYS THAT
LONG PASSED

Fitzgerald Played a Hunch
(By Stewart T Beach.)

The Wolverine
Cub He Calls
For His Grub

not be relegated to the jurisdiction of
the student body. The University ex-
ercises its authority over everything
which is in any way connected with
study. If there is a sphere for stu-
dent self government, it is outside
these two established authorities.
Now the only questions that appear
to the professor to be included in that
category are the relations between the
students themselves, and the manage-
ment and responsibility for student ac-
tivities, in-so-far as the latter- do not
conflict with the necessary jurisdiction
that is exercised by the Universitya
when the academic work of the parti-
cipators is affected.
Consideration Necessary
As an example of the necessity of
University control in the field of stu-
dent activities, the professor cites the
matter of athletics. This, he says,
should remain under faculty control
because it is so closely tied up with
academic work. The right of the Uni-
versity to eligibility rules cannot be
questioned.
Professor Reeves could not say
whether other activities would be
benefited by the complete divorce from
University control. He considered the
mptter too complex to pass judg-
ment on without careful investigation.
Concerning the establishment of
student self government in those mat-
ters which pertain to the relations
between students, the professor thinks
thereare several sources of possible
friction which will necessitate care-
ful handling before anything can be
accomplished.
If the plan takes into consideration
social activities, it will meet with cer-
tain difficulties, none of them insur-
mountable, but still of a character that
will reguire careful consideration. A
student governing body, will of course,
get its authority from the whole cam-
put. If it attempts to ' regulate the
social activities of fraternities it may
strike a snag. If a fraternity disre-
gards its regulations, what power of
punishment will it exercise?
Method of Policing Necessary
In the professor's opinion, any
such government, to accomplish its
end, would have to provide for some
method of policing-of learning when
its laws are disobeyed-and also some
power of inflicting penalties on the
offending parties
But before anything can be ac-
complished in the establishment of
a self government scheme, the scope,
of its activities must be settled. "The

HAVE

sphere of student self government,"
says Professor Reeves, "must be clear-
ly outlined and agreed upon by the
University authorities and the stu-
dent body. It must then be backed
(Continued on Page Three)
111lll lIt11111tillillitilllllti tllllt
SWool, Not PWills =
SCures Her Ills
"HEALTH FIRST"
"Nor love, nor honor,
Wealth or power,
Can give the heart
A cheerful hour
When health is lost."
This is the placard posted at the
University Health service.
"I can't see that galoshes have pre-
vented colds this winter," says Dr.
Eloise Walker. "The number of girls
coming up here with colds is no less
than last year. Most of the girls I
come in contact with are very sensible
in wearing woolen stockings.
"Only once in a while do we come'
across a girl with high heels and silk
stockings. No medicine can take the
place of clothes. One of the best pre-
ventatives for colds is to take off coats
and hats in classrooms."

College Develops
Artists-Of Slang

The President Left But
Not So With The Dog

(By Leo Hershdorfer)
Down in Georgia, where the colored1
folks still sit in front of their cabins
and play their banjos and sing "Old
Black Joe" and "Alexander's Band is
Back in Dixieland,"-down there
they don't tayk English... No, suh, they
talk pure "so'thn' -and they're
mighty proud of it, too. New York
the city which is built around the
Pennsylvania station,-that's another
place where they don't talk English-
they articulate in New Yawk. They're,
all "boids" in the big town, and every
night they flock to the shows around
"fawty-toid" street and Broadway.
Sounds rather odd, eh? It should'nt
though, because right here at Michi-
gan, or in any otheruniversity, too,.
for that matter, we don't chatter in
the mother tongue. Far be it from
such, mes amis,-for the college stu-
dent is a "slang artist", pure and re-
fined to the tenth power. Some peo-
ple have a funny idea that just because
a fellow goes to some high-brow rest-
ing place like college, he should be
master of etymology, phylology, enun-
ciation, and some of the other higher
arts that fill up university catalogues.
Students Expert
How come? Did you ever notice a
group of students (so-called because
of lack of better definition) sitting
around a table in the tap-room and
parleying while they surround a
batch of malted milksl Here's how
the usual line of chatter goes:
"How'd ya hit the last ec blue book,
Bill?"
"Knocked it, old timer, slew him
dead. How'd you come through?"
"Didn't. Burned the oil for three
nights straight, and then didn't find a
question on anything I crammed for.
Hard luck's my middle name."
Another one of the lobbyists quaffs
to the last drop a schooner of unadul-
terated-coca-cola, and then chimes
in. "Why'n't you birds pipe down on
this book stuff, lay off, why don't you?
Wipe that Kaiser Wilhelm grin off
your mug, and attack the ivories.
My soul craves music, it cries for
music-let's have 'Whispering,' or
something just as noisy."

The disconsolate Bill forgets his
blue-book worries, rushes to the piano
and jazzes up the latest dance-hits
with a fervor and artistic touch that
reminds one of Paderewski-so differ-
ent.
When a social event is the topic of
discussion, the center of attraction is
"the jane I'm taking to the dance."
If the girl in question is a good dan-
cer, and fairly sociable, her partner
will picture her to his mates in some-
what the following language:
"Man, oh man, talk about stepping
courses "wicked"-best I ever seen.
Got it on all these other fowls for
looks, too. And talk about toddling,
sweet cookie!"
And in such manner does the col-
lege student express -himself. A jazz
band that meets with his favor he
describes as "wicked", a course that
is easy is a "snap" or a "pipe." Ex-
aminations that are difficult are "stiff"
while low marks are accredited to
"raw deals" by instructors.
Critics of slang claim that it is a
disruption of the English language,
but to them we might answer, "Read
Shakespeare!" That great man, whose
name is known in every publishing
house in the world, often used to have
his characters say "Go To" and "How
come" and similar expressions which
have maintained their place in the
dictionary throughout the centuries.
Slang Authorized
Surely if the immortal Shakes-
peare authorized it, then slang is per-
missable. True, opponents of this
modern lingo, were they so inclined,
could offer sufficient proof that slang
is only a lazy man's way of making
himself understood.
Granted, but all contrary arguments
are nevertheless futile. As well try
to take the war-whoop away from the
Indians, or wine from and champagne
from the French as to eradicate slang
from the vocabulary of college stu-
dents. They could all do as well
without the war-whoop, the drinks
that Volstead forbids us Americans,
or the English as she is spoken-but
they won't.

(By James Hume)
A little wolf, a tiny cub, in the
gloom of a mighty forest howled at
the midnight moon. He howled for
his "ma," he howled for his "pa" and
the friends he used to know. So it is
today. The little cub is the Wolverine
Af Michigan, the student of 1921, cry-
ing, yearning for the days gone by,
when Volstead had other things to oc-
upy his mind, and when Joe Parker
was a walking student's directory-
ie knew them all.
The tales of those golden days when
Michigan was a synonym for football
has come down to us from the old
timers like the ancient Roman legends.
Up State street daily trods a member
of the old time clan, "Gus" Sodt, in
the blue uniform of Uncle Sam, and
over his shoulder a sack full of gloom
and happiness. You all know "Gus"
of the amiable smile and of the in-
exhaustable supply of memories.
Since 1897 he has seen the Michigan
man come and go.
Difference in Size
"The principle difference between
now and then," says "Gus", "is the
size of the University. Why in those
days everybody knew everybody else.
It was like the family of Brigham
Young. Another thing, "Gus" con-
tinued, there used to be older men.
State street sure must be a queer
sight to the old grads, he thought.
I can reinember when there were
only private residences on the east
(Continued on Page Four)
0 ' Bane The
Dane a Dean?.
"Does Dean Effinger have to paint
his own office floor?" Scenting an
example of freshman wit, a Daily re-
porter decided it would be worth while
to listen in to the rest of the con-
versation.
"You see, I never was able to find
him in," the worthy representative of
'24 continued before the astonished
sophomore could reply to the original
question, "but finally one day I went
through the door labeled 'Dean's
Office' for about the sixth time and
found a good looking gentleman with
a mustache on his upper lip painting
the floor.
"Getting up courage, I said: 'Are
you Dan Effingert Slowly the
gentleman looked up, scrutinized me
carefully and then bellowed: 'Sure,
I ban the Dane, but you'll have to
come again-cain't you see I be busy
now?'"
The freshman then told of how he
left the office, stopped at the drinking
fountain beside the door, and went
away. Hereupon, unable to conceal
his superiority any longer; the '24 man
exclaimed: "But you never evez
saw the Dean's office., Don't yow
know you were in his future resi-
dence not where he stays now. Oh,.
yes, it's got his name on the door-
all right, but you try going to thE
door next to the Registrar's office-
you'll have better luck."
Musing, the sophomore went away
with thoughts of rattle-brained fresh-
men in his head. And, also musing,
the Daily reporter walked down the
diagonal wondering why the proper
University authorities didn't label the
respective offices "Occupied" and "Un-
occupied"-or some such titles.

(By Hughston lMieBain)
"And everybody's happy, 'cause the
dog came back."
True, that might be the title of
some present day popular song, but
in this case it refers to a subject of
much more importance.
It all happened this way. A year
ago President Burton was living in
Minneapolis. No news in that? Let's
continue, then. He had a dog, re-
puted to be very valuable, but as a
real "man's dog" there was no peer
to this one-at least, so thought the
Burton family.
Weeks Pass
y Unfortunately the dog disappeared.
Day in and day out, week in and week
out, no dog appeared. President Bur-
ton advertised extensively, not only in
local papers, but throughout the state
the history of the president's noted

dog was displayed. Yet, no dog came
home.
The time passed on, the University
of Minnesota changed administrators
and Michigan secured Marion L. Bur-
ton as its president. The dog was
not forgotten-such dogs never are,
but other affairs dimmed the memory
of the family friend.
Dog Returns
But not long ago the wheels of
fortune moved and a telegram arrived
at the only residence on S. University,
north side, between E. University and
State announcing that the dog had re-
turned to the president's former home
in Minneapolis. He was immediately
sent down to our chief executive, so
now we can truthfully say-perhaps
in a clearer way than before-that
"Everybody's happy, 'cause the dog
came back."


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GRAHAM'S
TWO STORES

SERVICE -SATISFACTION

GRIAAM'S
BO0TH ENDS DIAGONAL WALK

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