ZICH] L r 1.1 [ICH __ REVERIE OF AN OLD WOLVERINE DAY FEATURE SECTION cd every Sunday as a supplement to ar news section of The Michigan utions must be in the hands of the Wednesday previous to the date of iblication. Imunications or contributions must as an indication of good faith. Editor... .Joseph A. Bernstein asistants I. Dakin Thomas H. Adams V. Ottaway Byron Darnton editor..........Stewart T. Beach ......... .dwin R. Miess E1IDLITZ By Grantland Rice I wandered to Ann Arbor, Tom, I went the other day; I made my way to Ferry Field to see the squad at play; But none was there to greet me, Tom, and none was left to know Who played with us upon the team a few short years ago. I saw Yost coaching as of old-the same old Yost, it's true; But not the same old buffaloes that wore the Maize and Blue; And like some wild tornado turned adrift upon the foe. They turned up 60 points a game a few short years ago. I saw the scrub team hold 'em, Tom, and then my thoughts went back- I saw the shade of Heston as he led the old attack; With Weeks and Longman at his side-'twas 50 yards or so, Each time this old bunch had the ball a few short years ago, And then-like some rare vision looming faintly thru the haze- I saw the Wolverine machine of now long-vanished days; McGugin, Hammond, Rheinschild, with Sweeley, White and Snow- I wish we'd had J. Harvard, Tom, a few short years ago. -New York Tribune. 'OWDERS - By E. B. W. ___ s you seen F. P. A.'s line about. ew York financier who was ag his wife? And did you notice tder Wollcott's dramatic review New York Times where he re- to the unfortunate heruine in' y as a young woman "in seduced stances?" that Gertrude Atherton has es- ed San Francisco society-the generation of the forty-niners 'riting a. book about them, isn't to Clarence Budington Kelland out Sadie Burnham by "doing" -which is eighty per cent for- doubtedly bucolics and astronomers may take a justifiable interest in the heavens. Nevertheless as a social topic, at any and all functions, the weather ought to be put under the ban of the lifted eyebrow and the suppressed yawn. Droughts, perhaps, when they come under the Volkstead act, make respectable small talk. Subject Has Been Done to Death The subject as a -whole, however, has been so long monopolized by the boobs, the bromides, the Patterites, that it has lost the last vestige of tang or flavor. The abashed dolt, the fatuous optimist, the stereotyped pes- simist, the inarticulate flapper, the over-fed moron, the "chance acquaint- ance," these have done the weather to death. They have truly done it to death.Dececy requires that we leave the dead in peace. Let the question as to which the weather affects most, the crops or conversation, be settled with finality, and in favor of the crops. ing the drivel and the other suffering from hysteria in decrying it. The Rev. Dr. Frank Crane, and his jour- nalistic oppositive, the American Mag- azine, make a living at it. Henry Ford tries-so hard. And Thomas A. Edi- son has lately informed the world that there is no hope for any boy who has not found his "life work" between the ages of twelve and sixteen. All we can say without likewise getting hys- terical, is, Why? Why do they slobber, so? Why are they permitted to do this publicly? Is there not enough of the eternal din of braying made by those who cannot do otherwise? It's at least twelve years since we first heard this one and we haven't run across it at all for five or six, so, we are risking it that there are a few Freshmen to whom it is new. It is an example of theavulgaritythatsal- Imost always gets a laugh from most of the American people. Bert Wil- liams in his patter said, ". ..and I went into a cigar store to get a cigar and somebody stepped on my hand..." Increase your business by advertis- ing in The Michigan Daily.-Adv. Use the advertising columns of The Michigan Daily to reach the best of Ann Arbor's buyers.-Adv. DIAGONAL DIST --- {By E. R. X.) The following verses represent the most radical metrical origination since the time of Spenser. The first andy fourth lines of each stanza are two feet longer than the rest. Readers will kindly observe a strict and exact- ing beat, regardless of where the blow falls. The poem is entitled: How Sally Won the Stream-Line Horse Sally Selser swam serenely, so she said, Sending spray spiralling skyward, Sensing sure success she sped; Shooting scientific, safety-razor strpkes, Sailing safely, swiftly shoreward, Splashing, seething, savage soaks. Sally Selser swam so satisfactorily, Soon she struck some solid shore; Said shore sure soaked Sally silly. Sally saw some shattered startling, starry sights; Sweet success seemed so sublime, Sally's swelling soon seemed slight. The success of Ed Wynn's famous song entitled, "You Cannot Hammer a Nail with a Sponge No Matter How Much You Soak It," has inspired the writing of a worthy sequel, "You, Can- not Clean a Carpet with an Egg No Matter How Hard You Beat It." First Page Ad in Podunk Gazette "The person who took a five-gallon can of soap out of Zeke William's ga- rage is known. If he will return it immediately Zeke will wink his eye and not even try to find out who it is, as that pillar of the village does not wish to create hard feelings over soft soap., Npw that the Russians are through rushirrg the Prussians, and the Pins- sians have quit rushing the Russians, etc., it seems that the United States and Japan have commenced "yapping." Notice the stage directions in this tNtmc. S.Sae,.Av HAVE YOU TRIED OUR SPECIAL WEEK-END ICE CREAM BRICKS? FOR QUALITY, FLAVOR AND PUR- ITY THEY ARE UNSURPASSED. little drama; they are worthy of Bernie Shaw. Student, to over-enthusiastic indi- vidual in the adjoining seat-Say, did you read that editorial in The Daily about keeping your mouth shut during a lecture? Neighbor, embarrassed, coloring, and at once indignant and irate--See it? You big rube, I wrote it! "How do you like Philadelphia?" "Not much." (Eor ICE CREAM "Have you ever "Yes, I spent a day." Sonia-Your face is getting fat. Newmonia-Yes; I guess I'll diet. Sonia-Sure, dye it black. Ask your students if their text books would not be worth 15c per hundred pages more to them if mimeographed on book paper. Edwards Bros., 310 S. State St.--Adv. I E MIMEOGRAPHING ,Ott BOOK PAPER. Very Reasonable Rates I be admitted that in Noah's weather wastan absorbing conversation. There was no about it then. And during y centuries since there have eptional persons, mostly poets, to talk on this subject. When iitman speaks of "the splen- it, sun," most of us are glad As a subject for weather it is at least inocuous. But, , even weather prophets, like ir prophets, should confine es to the wilderness. Un- Edward s Brothers 3 1 0 SOUTH STATE' S TR EET THE FREEDOM OF THE PRESS. In about every third issue of our leading journals one of our national heroes presents some priceless bit of rot that is the fundamental cause of most of our "Dulcys" and H L. Menckens, the one delightedly repeat- Ila / 11 SHU BE R T MATINEES TODAY AND ET R Om SATURDAY SOc to $2.00 NIOTS $1.00 to $3.00 The Amusement Centre of Ann Arbor This Week TODAY TOMOlROW AND TUESDAY BETTY THE WHIRLWIND you dine EDDIE CANTOR COMPSON -IN- PRISONERS OF LOVE" N. Y. Century Theatre Revue Midnight Rounders le ated at your own , in the comfort of own home, you can non the world's great- artists to entertain guests, your family yourself on the -ola. Such an ac- >animent to the meal much to its enjoy- : and brightens the e occasion. t us show you the at- ive Victrola models. e is one to match furnishings. NAN HALERPIN Harry Kelly, Lew Hearn and 125 others I Where shall the husband and father who lavishes attentions on unscrupu- lous women place the blame for his daughter's mis-steps ? PRE-WAR PRICES 3 d V I GARRICK THIS WEEK MAT. 50o to $1.50 NIGHTS 50c to $2.00 SAT. MAT. 50c to $2-00 OTHER FEATURES COMEDY: HER CIRCUS MAN KINOGRAMS ARCADE ORCHESTRA Metro Presents Vincent Blasco Ibanez 4 HORSEMEN of the APOCALYPSE - they say "For sheer realism 'The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse' has never been excelled. . . . it challenges comparison. . . . a picture you cannot afford to miss." (Free Press.) "The thousands upon whom 'The Four Horsemen of the Apoca- lypse' tale with its undertone of sacred allegory made a profound impression, will find that impression deepened and vivified by the picture." (Journal.) "In every way 'The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse' represents the highest mark in American motion picture making." (News.) "'4 Horsemen.' A Triumph. . . . so superior to the rank and file of film offerings as to make them cheap and tawdry in compari- son. . . ." (Times.) The sheer beauty of Blanche Davis was a legacy of peril. From her budding girlhood she had been kEBERLE & SON MUSIC HOUSE SOUTH MAIN STREET set apart in the crowd-a creature whose glance made men's hearts beat faster. And now, in the bloom of womanhood, falsely accused, she was leaving home. An enthralling story of love, erring but unsmirched. A-Z 3 CPQ MAT DAILY AT 2:20 ALL SEATS RESERVED NIGHTS 8:20 SUNDAY MAT. AT 3 P. M.