Tuesday, July 5, 2011 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com 5S "@BarackObama has just passed. Nearly 45 minutes ago, he was shot twice in the lower pelvic area and in the neck; shooter unknown. Bled out " - A post on the Fox News twitter feed after being hacked late Sunday night. COLT ROSENSWEIG I Afarewell to Newt JEFF ZUSCHLAG E-MAIL JEFF AT JEFFDZ@UMICH.EDU It was easier Studio Good luckfinding than you would a replacement, tnk,MrBeck Jerry ti Machiavellian malls Newt Loken, truly the father of Michigan men's gymnastics, was the kind of person you thought would live forever. So when he died last Tuesday, June 28, a little part of me died too. But Newt was never one to stay sad for long, and he was very clear that any memorial for him was to be a celebration. And there were many things about Newt to celebrate. His presence always lit up the gym. I loved Mondays during the season, when Newt would come by to tell all the gymnasts how much he'd enjoyed the competition on Saturday. The boys would just glow as Newt complimented them. The award for best individual performance at each home meet is named for Newt. Until this past season, Newt was always there to present the certificate at the end of the competition. For Wolver- ines, winning a Newt Loken ranks near the top in career highlights. For over 60 years, Newt didn't miss a home meet. He'd come into Cliff Keen Arena with little fan- fare, accompanied by Bob Wil- loughby, a member of that original 1948 team. Despite the incognito entrance, there would be a line of people - gymnasts, gymnas- tics alumni, parents, opposing coaches, judges and dedicated fans - waiting to say hi and have a minute with the legendary coach. And Newt didn't forget peo- ple. Mention any former team- mate and he'd have a story to tell about that guy. Then he'd tell you everything you could ever want to know about his family. I loved listening to those stories. I could sit transfixed for hours, at the gym and later in the quiet of the Daily library, as Newt spun his tales. He had a gift for charming peo- ple, making just the right gesture. When my beloved dog Angel died, the next day Newt left a bouquet of flowers at the Daily for me. In every e-mail exchange we had after I graduated from Michigan, he'd ask about both of my parents - and never forget good wishes to my new dog, Juno. I did tons of interviews with people about Newt, either for a feature article or for his biography. No one could ever keep a smile off their face when they spoke of him. He was more than a coach - he was a second father and a trea- sured friend to so many people. Former gymnast Jim Hayslett attributed nearly every good thing in his life to Newt's influence, including his becoming a dentist. Nobody beat Newt when it came to communication. If you were a part of Michigan men's gymnas- tics Newt was in touch with you. Newt wasn't a person who faded from people's lives, and I think that's what we'll be sad about. We can't be sad for Newt - he had such a long, full, wonderful life. But now those chatty e-mails and letters will stop. And we'll only have our warm memories of this amazing man. Newt was known for his wise and witty sayings - he even made them into a little book for his grandchildren. And one in par- ticular encapsulates him: "Those who bring sunshine to others cannot keep it from them- selves." No one brought more sunshine to the world than Newt. Colt Rosensweig is a former sports editor. I went home the other day and did some casual shopping with my mom at Twelve Oaks Mall in Novi. I don't know why' specifying the location is necessary; all malls are essen- NICK tially the BRINGARDNER same. Their purpose is to sell, no matter what the prod- uct is. After hundreds of years of studying the psychology of retail salesmanship, it seemsretail stores have found effective, albeit brash, ways to sell products. It's all about the presentation. I walked into Banana Republic to browse and, just as Mom expert- ly taught me, went straight to the clearance rack, avoiding all the pretty displays of new arrivals (the full price stuff) arranged in order to pique my interest. But the cun- ning of retail pervaded the entire store; even the fitting room is deceiving. Iwent in to try on a shirt and found I liked the wayI looked. The lighting from the front and not overhead illuminated my eyes like a model in a photo shoot. It would appear that was intentional, as manipulating the fitting room lighting is an important opportu- nity for retail stores to close a sale. And if it's flattering enough, a per- son might end up buying the item in question. So I tried on the shirt and batted my eyes at my narcissis- tic reflection, never realizing that Banana Republic had just implant- ed the desire to buy the t-shirt into my feeble mind. The concept of retailsales seems to be based almost solely on illu- sion. When trying on clothes, or even after I have purchased them and taken them home, the ques- tion I always have is this: Why can't a shirt on me look the way it looked on the damn mannequin? Real human beings can't feasibly pin up a garment in the back to get the desired fitted look - at least not without looking like a jackass. And what about those models present- ing the clothes in those pictures above the shelves? There's no way I'mgoingto looklike that. Associa- tion with those faces and bodies is what attracts the buyer. It makes themthink theycanlookthatgood. Ostensibly, the purpose of adver- tising is to show the clothes being worn; their style, function and even the lifestyle associated with the clothes. But it's just illusion. Mannequin displays and model pictures aren't always realistic. In the end, people end up comparing themselves to these images, and that can lead to unhealthy choices. After going to a few shops and suffering through places like Pot- tery Barn and Sephora, Mom and I headed out. I thought we were home free, but one more obstacle stood between us and the exit. The makeup and perfume section was a dizzying labyrinth of bright lights, colorful displays and borderline creepy counter attendants with smiles plastered onto their overly painted faces. Immediately my mind turned to cartoon silliness. There is a parody of the perfume section in an episode of Sponge- bob Squarepants - work with me here - that is hilarious and almost identical to reality. Spongebob and Patrick try to escape from the Flying Dutchman's ship through the perfume section. There is a sequence of hands appearing out of nowhere offering samples, slow motion puffs and the two charac- ters gagging and choking. A gas mask would have been useful for passing through that section. I Retail sales are based solely on illusion. wonder, how can that combination of smells be at all enticing? And the glitz and glamour and special attention of the makeup counter disappear once you leave. When women get home with the makeup, they usually revert back to a more sensible look because they can't recreate what they saw at the mall. On my way out, I saw possibly the most heinous item in the entire mall - bedazzled Uggs. What is this world coming to? Everything inside me was screaming in pro- test of the shoes, but I couldn't look away. "They're just so shiny," I repeated as I brought them to the register. Only after I came home did I realize that I didn't actually want them. Nick Bringardner can be reached at njbring@gmail.com.