Monday, May 24, 2010 The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com Apoor standard SIMON BORST E-MAIL SIMONATSIMKAL UMICII.EDU. f you're beginning the pro- cess of applying to graduate schools, then you are likely preparing to take a standardized test. For me, it's the Graduate Record Exami- nation, or GRE. When I began studying for the test, the section TOMMASO I feared was PAVONE "Quantitative Reasoning." But after taking some practice exams, I found that the math on the GRE is as basic as many of my friends had said. So, I thought, the verbal section will be a breeze - after all, I've always possessed a fairly robust and diverse vocabulary. Two words: fat chance. I knew I was in trouble when my parents, who lived in Italy for 35 years, were performing bet- ter on the practice verbal tests than I was. To be clear, my dad still doesn't know the difference between "live" as in "to live one's life" and "live" as in "Saturday Night Live," and my mom isn't much better. But they know Italian and their Latin roots, resulting in several awkward moments when I would be faced with a seem- ingly indecipherable word only to have my parents quickly provide the Italian translation as if to say, "Seriously, you didn't know that?" Perhaps I should brush up on my Italian to improve my GRE score - but that seems like a ridiculous strategy to improve my perfor- mance on the English section of a standardized test. In case you're wondering what type of vocabulary is tested on the GRE, the following is a GRE- esque paragraph explaining how I feel about the verbal section. I don't wish to sound cantanker- ous, much less jejune, and I know that garrulous decrials of the GRE are no ersatz for pedantic studying. Therefore, I shall be laconic in my a posteriori diatribe. Prima facie, I had a visceral premonition that I would perform feebly in the quan- titative reasoning section while feeling like a puissant on the verbal section, which I hoped would bol- ster my score. Inter alia, there has been a hypertrophy in my increas- ingly heterogeneous vocabulary. Ex post facto, I was mistaken. The verbal section has enervated my confidence with its ostentatious, if not archaic, repertoire of vocabu- lary. I can only hope that my resil- ience prevails, my fervid efforts are vindicated and my frustrations prove ephemeral. In other words, the GRE ver- bal section and I have hit a rough patch in our three-week old rela- tionship. But let me be clear about why I'm ranting in the first place: the GRE doesn't adequately test your verbal analysis skills, and it's a poor example of a "standard- ized" test. It's time for grad schools to scrap the GRE. Regarding my first critique, if the verbal section is primarily a vocab- ulary test (which it is), then it's test- ing a person's memorization skills or knowledge of an increasingly obsolete vocabulary that's often unrelated to one's field of study. In an ideal world, a standardized test should assess a person's natural abilities and require no studying (if this seems unrealistic then you know why I dislike the concept of standardized tests in the first place). But on the GRE, those with the time and resources to buy and study GRE prep books, attend GRE prep classes and make hundreds of note cards are at a significant advantage over their peers. Like many undergraduates, I'm bitingthe bullet and studying daily for the GRE. But we should ques- tion why graduate programs (who are aware that GRE performance is not very indicative of success in graduate school) are making admissions and financial aid deci- sions based, at least in part, on a standardized test score. Sure, it makes their life easier by provid- ing a cutoff point for the consid- eration of applications, but the focus shouldn't be on what's easy, it should be on what's right. And what's right just might be scrap- ping the GRE altogether. The GRE is outdated. It's a test based on the philosophythat a stan- dardized score can assess the intel- ligence and merits of an infinitely complex individual. Thankfully, graduate schools are beginning to place less weight on GRE results. But darn it, after fifteen years of school, I feel I've earned the right not to preoccupy myself with one more standardized test. - Tom Pavone can be reached at tpavone@umich.edu. Learning to live in the UK My mom always told me that first impressions are really important: "Wrin- kles and a poor handshake do not make a good impression." And London - one of the most amazing cities in the world - has extended its arm and given ERIKA me a really bad MAYER handshake. My family and I lived in Indonesia for three years during my preteen years, so I'm no stranger to extended stays outside the United States. So after living in the largest Muslim country in the world, I expected that adjusting to London would be a walk in the park. What I didn't realize is that it's a lot harder for my family to support me from across the ocean, and that makes this English-speaking coun- try seem very foreign. Now, don't get me wrong; I'm not going to give up on London just yet. I had rocky starts with people who turned out to be some of my best friends. But for a city with such awesome reviews, I've been disap- pointed with my first encounter. The first British accent was excit- ing, even though it was far from the first one I've heard in my life. I had to stop myself from being mesmerized by the grandmotherly woman sit- ting across the aisle on the plane. But from there, the enchantment ended. Heathrow Airport is very confus- ing, and it has little to offer. Grant- ed, if I hadn't spent six hours there waiting for the rest of my group to land, I might've enjoyed my visit a bit more. If my first lesson of study abroad was to avoid total assimila- tion, the second was to be patient. But a grumbling stomach - there's no food in the arrivals terminal - makes that a little difficult. Once out of the airport, I was struck with the startling realization that London is dirty. Really dirty. In all my pre-travel excitement, I pic- tured the city as both a gleaming metropolis and beacon of culture and cleanliness to the wide-eyed tourist. Reality: 1, Erika: 0. Yes, it was naive of me to create this mental image. But I can't say anyone ever prepared me for what it would actually be like. While the city is filled with charm and old build- ings, I'm covered in black smudges by the end of the day. After a shower and some food, however, I started to see the city dif- ferently. With my clothes put away, a working blow dryer and a fresh out- look, things didn't seem so bad any- more. Pubs spilling over with locals, music playing: The city had the buzz I initially expected from London. A regular party town where you can drink on the street - what more can you ask for? But now, as I write this column in the middle of the night, I real- ize how utterly in over my head I am. Nothing around me is familiar, and that is made even worse by how similar things are to home. It's the little things - like no flat sheet on the bed - that trip me up. Not to mention the fact my body clock is so out of whack that I'm up at 3 a.m. trying to stave off a panic attack. The mercurial changes of acclima- tion are the worst part of adjusting to my new location. Lesson three of studying abroad is that no matter how much I thought I prepared myself, nothing could get me ready for the homesickness. Right now, I just want to go home to my family and friends. Eight weeks seems like a ridiculously long time. We were told all kinds of unimport- ant information at orientations and talks before we left, but no one told me what I'm supposed to do when I can't even make it through the first 24 hours. In London, Reality: 1, Erika: 0. Everything here is so similar to home, but at the same time frustrat- ingly different. Everyone speaks Eng- lish, drives the same cars and pretty much eats the same food. The bath- rooms are almost the same, but then figuring out how to work the shower is harder than taking the LSAT. I can talk to my family pretty much like I would at home, but I'm living com- pletely alone. It's very unsettling. In all my travels, I have never felt this way when entering a country. It's like I skipped the excitementpart and went straightto the freaking out. Though things are rough now, it's only the first day and I'm sure that things will get better. The program suggests I immerse myself in the local culture, but I think a little taste of home - perhapssome Starbucks - and a good night's sleep will get me back on track. - Erika Mayer can be reached at elmayer@umich.edu.