Arts

Monday, May 7, 2007
The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com

artspage@michigandaily.com
734-763-0379

Web of
Mediocrity

Spidey's web stretches
too far third time around
By PAUL TASSI
Daily Film Editor
It's an interesting direction to take, mak-
ing "Spider-man 3" a romantic musical com-
edy. But while a fraction of the population
may enjoy this completely uncalled for cre-
ative departure, the rest of us were expect-
ing an epic action film with menacingly
dark overtones. Not even
close to the previous two
blockbusters in the series
that inspired the current Spidenman 3
flood of superhero films,
"Spider-man 3" is the big- At the Showcase
gest disappointment since and Quality16
"Star Wars: Episode I Columbia Pictures
- The Phantom Menace."
Actually, this film might even be worse.
It's sad to watch "Spider-man 3" unfold.
All the ingredients are there for a great
movie. Determined to marry his long-
time love, Peter Parker must battle his way
through his Uncle's true killer, his former
best friend and finally himself when he's
consumed by a dark alien force that seems to
alter his very essence.
But Spider-man's black suit transforma-
tion is handled especially poorly, and you're
left wondering why $300 million couldn't
buy a decent writer. Instead of a dark, psy-
chological and criminal journey, Parker's
newfound evil side is little more than a
transformation into a hipster kid, complete

with bangs over his eyes and what appear to
be traces of eyeliner.
Instead of killing people and committing
felonies, the worst thing Parker does is goof-
ily strut down the street and perform pelvic
thrusts at random women. This all climaxes
in an absolutely ridiculous jazz-club dance
sequence that will have you checking your
ticket to see if you're in the right theater.
There's a certain amount of acceptable
camp that should be allowed in comic book
movies. But while the first two "Spider-
man" films had it in moderation, this time
the movie overdoses on cheese to the point
of killing any remnants of the solemn mood
this chapter should have had. It's so hokey
that by the time the film wants you to take it
seriously, you're way past that. The sunsets
and tears and cries of forgiveness only make
you laugh.
All this said, the film is not a total waste.
There are solid performances from all three
villains: Thomas Hayden Church ("Side-
ways") as Flint Marko (Sandman), James
Franco ("Spider-man 2") as Harry Osborne
(New Goblin) and even Topher Grace (tele-
vision's "That '70s Show") as Eddie Brock
(Venom).
Brock may be a significantdeparture from
the comic, but he does make a nice doppel-
ganger to Peter Parker. Needless to say, the
black, nefariously smiling symbiote looks
fantastic when he finally appears - about
two hours into the movie.Church's Sandman
is mostly unnecessary, but at least entertain-
ing. And Franco's Hobgoblin executes some
pretty sick moves on his revamped glider,
now a hoveringsnowboard with rockets and
flamethrowers.

FILM NOTEBOOK
They say that a hero
can save us

By IMRAN SYED
Editor in Chief
Despite his flashy costume, nifty web-sling-
ing and catchy quips, there's something so
downright pedestrian about Spider-man that
it takes even a bona fide fan like me a while to
grasp his greatness.
Growing up, I never bothered with a Spider-

man comic or cartoon. My favorite superhero
was always Batman. This was the one torn
soul in spandex who I could easily see myself
becoming. I wouldn't need ultraviolet rays,
alien super-lord parents or ancient prophe-
cies - like any of that stuff could ever be real. I
just had to grow up, getrich and be tech savvy.
To a nine-year-old kid who just discovered
See SYED, Page10

Your Spider-sense makes me tingle...