a 12 - The Michigan Daily - Monday, May 15, 2006 'Poseidon' out to sea By Jeffrey Bloomer Managing Editor What is it about open water? There is a long cinematic tradition of huge vessels laid bare to encroaching ocean waters attempt- ing mercilessly to pull them under, Poseidon typically with At the Showcase some magnificent and Quality 16 force of nature Warter Bros. sending the resi- dent luxury liner into splashy digital chaos. Iconic images of oceanic mishaps pervade the prototypic Hollywood adventure movie (including the highest-gross- ing film in the industry's history), but few have ever been able to reconcile the inherent problem this causes, req- uisitely searching for other ways to drive the story that doesn't involve its main premise. This phenomenon is on eager dis- play in Wolfgang Peterson's half-baked remake "Poseidon," the director's faint echo of a summer blockbuster. The inescapable fact is that water alone makes for a pretty sorry villain, and a story as thinly drawn as this one calls out for a strong antagonist with almost embarrassing desperation. As they tread on through the ventilation and shaky corridors, the film's characters just look befuddled, because as icily calculated and determined as the ever- persistent floodwaters might seem, at the end of the day, physics is physics. If, as it does here, a tidal wave hits the side of a massive cruise ship and flips it over, the likelihood is that yes, in fact, the passengers on board will drown. 4 "Letting you go will free up some budget for a better script." "And bag Granted, there's an oblique, if everymen and women whoi guilty, pleasure in watching a mon- become the central tenets of tage of breaking windows and fall- conveniently coming togeth ing chairs crash down the exploding "rogue wave" capsizes the cabin of a commercial liner, espe- liner and they are left alonet cially when it's done by future mati- to the surface. nee idols trying to earn their way The 1972 original onY into a film with characters of a col- film is based had the longer lective mind educated beyond grade Poseidon Adventure," but school. "Poseidon" has some spec- opted here for the simple tacular sights in that oft-explored don," perhaps because he but nevertheless viable vein, but honest man. The film's $16 watching a group of interchangeable price tag, among the large, cardboard concoctions run from a staggering. Does it really stationary foe lost its soggy charm much for a few big booms ar some time ago. The open sea has no overheard shot of the ship beef and would be rather difficult Where did all that money to kill, though if Peterson ("Troy") sidering the ratio betweent could find some way to do that in and dialogue, if they paid tI $160 million or less, we can rest writer by the word, he cou assured he would. made more than $100. The film stars Kurt Russell, an But hang on a second. T ominous sign in and of itself for a does, to be fair, have acc movie released past 1994, as a former genuine suspense, and thei firefighter/mayor/take-your-pick who, an early scene of startlin if his pre-disaster screen time is any diacy involving an approxi indication, alternates between high- Rico from "Six Feet Under stakes gambling and insulting his Rodriguez) and Richard 20-something daughter (the woefully playing a suicidal man who underused Emmy Rossum, "Phantom orientation is his character of the Opera"). Along with his charac- is a come-on, an explosion ter comes an onslaught of nondescript tal death in the span of three inevitably the story, er after a ir luxury to make it which the title "The Peterson r "Posei- is a very 0 million st ever, is cost that end a quick flipping? go? Con- the action .he screen- ldn't have 'he movie cidents of re is even ng imme- mation of " (Freddy Dreyfuss ose sexual arc. There and a bru- e minutes, in morbid ce a time re escap- r escapist ause stuck ke "Posei- n get. Oh malaise. 'Lost' in mediocrity 4 By Jerry Gordinier Daily Arts Writer The rollicking "Gramercy Park Hotel" captures this essence of casual listening. The effervescent MALICIOUS AND HUMILIATING JOBS FOR LIFE'S LITTLE OVERACHIEVERSII and we can't help but smile satisfaction. There was on when summer movies we ist, but now we settle fo moments within them, beca in a theater with a movie li don," we'll take what we ca guitar, slight taps of drummer Dave Harrison and subdued full-band Edwin McCain's latest, Lost in sound (what Hootie and the Blow- America, offers a rare experience fish rode in on) combine with clas- for the listener: sic rambling lyrical laments ("Old It's a chance to Edwin Babe Ruth / He was a drunkard just hop into a tour van McCain like me / He lived it high and he filled with a light- lived it low / Stumbling down the hearted, full-bod- Lost In America New York streets"). ied band casually Vanguard McCain's range comes up a little rolling across the short, though. The album is lim- nation. Unfortunately, the bouncy ited in span and is saltine-cracker jazz-and-blues-infused pop-rock dry - especially noticeable on the 4 sights all seem to be giant marsh- unintelligent track "Welcome to mallows: repetitively sweet, very Struggleville." In the same tiring fluffy and altogether uninteresting vein, McCain is unabashed in his in an album. "Losing Tonight." The tune estab- In casual taste, the lightness is lishes itself well with a poignant not a completely unpleasurable and reverberating slide guitar. But experience. McCain's title track, the track is over-run with clich6 lyr- "Lost in America," enters with a ics ("I'm holding the darkness / will sort of happy-go-lucky feel. Start- you be there to break my fall") and ing hushed and electronically lim- McCain's brisk voice, combining to ited, the vocals fully break out in produce an overused, pseudo-emo- a booming summation of America: tional composition. "the cars, the girls, the money, the For a band whose sound is more drugs to get you out of your rut." geared for live performance, McCain still accomplishes much on the album, but one can only eat marshmallows -z dfor so long. Not an entirely unenjoy- a Hertz Foundation able voyage - if you're tired of overly pleasure in serious fare - but Lost is nothing to 6 Fellowship Award to write home about. Take the trip, if you chigan student: feel the need, but eat before coming. Paul Podsiadlo We've been supporting the UM Chemical Engineering Community since 1939... I Now come Hertz Foundation Fellows i88 applicants to receive support us! hip Award of up to $240,000 The Fannie and Johr takes great announcing a Fall 200( University of Mi Hertz fr~eedomr to inniovale Mr. Podsiadlo is one of 15 chosen from a field of 6 a five year Graduate Fellowsh Go to Europe this summer and salvage what's et of your youth. GO NOW, BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. - Go to raileurope.com and find special deals - Or visit the nearest STA Travel Office while earning doctorates in the Applied Physical, Biological or Engineering Sciences. The Hertz Foundation would like to extend its congratulations to the University of Michigan for its role in educating this exceptional student. See www.hertzfoundation.org for more details.