The Michigan Daily - Monday, June 5, 2006 - 15
The 15 things you must
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F or those of you in town for orientation, him and his music.
you've probably finished the easy part: reg- VII: Never agree with any blocking, charging or
istering for crappy classes, getting to know reach-in foul that goes against Michigan. Sure, it
people you'll probably never talk to may be obvious that Dion Harris lowered
again, facebook stalking that hot guy his head and pushed off his defender, but
or girl you sat next to in the dining who cares. Complete illogical thinking is
hall, etc. the name of the game when you're a bas-
But there is still one more thing ketball fan.
you need that won't be in your student VIII: Don't attend a hockey game
handbooks. unless you know all the dirty little words
With that said, I feel it is my duty to involved in the "See-ya" chant. And don't
present to you The Fifteen Command- tell the administration I told you this.
ments of Michigan Fandom (to avoid IX: Never stay seated when the "Rocky
copyright infringement from the man H. JOSE and Bullwinkle" theme is played during a
upstairs, I added an extra five). JOSe hockey game.
You may not like them, but to claim BOSCH X: For that matter, never stay seated at
you bleed Maize and Blue, you have to The Bosch any sporting event. That's what the time
abide by them. Watch between periods and quarters is for.
Continued from Page 13
Her senior year turned out to be a career
year, as she led the team in home
runs (13), batting average (.327) and
RBI (49). She provided a solid foun-
dation for her battery mate Ritter
and the rest of the team for a strong
finish to her short Michigan career.
While a promising recruiting
class is headed to Ann Arbor this
fall, these five seniors will leave
some gaping holes in the Michigan .a
lineup. Looking at their accomplish-
ments leaves no room for disap-
So if you see a Wolverine softball
player around town, disregard that
black cloud in the sky and instead,
give them a pat on the back.
I: Never be satisfied with Michigan's
starting quarterback, coach, season, or, for that
matter, the entire football program. Ever.
II: Do the "Claw" at football games, not the
"Tomahawk Chop." We're the Wolverines, not the
III: Don't do the wave near the end of a close
football game. The wave is never cool unless Mich-
igan is up by more than two touchdowns, with less
than five minutes to play. The wave is a privilege,
not a right. If you're concentrating too hard on per-
fecting the wave during a tight football game, you
shouldn't even be there.
IV: Respect the marching band, and show up
early to watch them march out to the field before
the game. Not too many people can high step con-
stantly in place for 30 seconds and still play a musi-
cal instrument when they're finished.
V: Always jump up and down and scream while the
opposing basketball team brings the ball up court. Air
Georgia will have no reason to showcase his highlight
reel dunks if the crowd isn't into the game.
VI: Find out who Air Georgia is and learn to love
XI: Always cheer for the young child
during Score-O. Never cheer for the middle-aged
man who thinks he's the Wayne Gretzkey of inter-
mission promotional games.
XII: It's always OK to cheer and laugh at the Yost
Ice Arena worker who slips and falls on the ice. As
long as they fall butt first.
XIII: Making fun of an opposing athlete's goofy
last name: good. Making fun of their mother: bad.
XIV: Avoid using a cell phone during a sporting
event. In fact, don't even bring it with you. Michi-
gan fans have survived for more than 100 years
without using them during a game, you can survive
for a couple of hours.
XV: Never find it socially acceptable to associ-
ate yourself with anyone from East Lansing or the
entire state of Ohio.
- Bosch would pay to see University Presi-
dent Mary Sue Coleman follow any of these com-
mandments. If you would, too, make all checks
payable to H. Jose Bosch. Or just e-mail him at
LEFT TO RIGHT: Seniors Tiffany Haas, Stephanie Bercaw, Becky Marx, Jennie Ritter and
Grace Leutele celebrate their Big Tan conference championship.
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