Routine horror sequel sati~sfies By Jeffrey Bloomer March 21, 2005 In the course of just two films, Samara Morgan (Daveigh Chase), the tortured, fearsome villain of "The Ring," has become 1 the stuff of dreams The Ring (or nightmares) for TR adolescent Ameri- Two can horror fans. DreamWorks Samara is a sort of postmodern Fred- dy Kruger whose mere screen pres- ence elicits overjoyed shrieks from audiences, and her freaky exploits continue in "The Ring Two," a sur- prisingly competent sequel to the 2002 hit that is just about as enter- taining as it is forgettable. This time around, overworked Seattle reporter Rachel (Naomi Watts, "21 Grams") and her aloof son Aidan (David Dorfman, "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre") relocate to a quiet, coastal Oregon town. They hope to start their lives over after their first encounter with Samara, the little girl from the first film who was left in a well by her adopted mother and whose videotape myste- riously kills viewers seven days after watching it. But it's not long before she finds them again, apparently irked that Rachel has destroyed one of her now-infamous videocassettes. From there, the story goes in a markedly different direction than that of the first film, moving into a bizarre tale of possession that takes heavy cues from "The Exorcist." Namely, it seems that Samara no longer wants to kill Aidan, but rath- er become him. It's easy to identify the scenes where she has possessed him because of the film's clever play The Michigan Daily - Orientation Edition 2005 - 25 St 'Model' DVD cements show's cult status "No Aldan! For the last time: Conditioner is better!" on words: Aidan refers to his mother as "Rachel," and so when he starts calling her "mommy," you know that shit's about to hit the fan. The bulk of the remaining story is spent on dead-end subplots involving Samara's ever-expanding history and the often unintentionally funny mis- adventures of a demonic Aidan, whose wide-eyed glances alone elevate the creepy-little-kid factor tenfold. Like the first film, itself a remake of the 1998 Japanese horror phe- nomenon "Ringu," "The Ring Two's" biggest strength lies in its accomplished production work. Pro- pelled by strong performances from its leads, a moody, mesmerizing soundtrack and superior photogra- phy, it is among the more skillfully stylized and executed instances of gothic horror in recent years. The movie also follows an increas- ing trend in Hollywood, as it is not only a remake of a foreign horror flick but also retains the director of the Japanese original, Hideo Nakata (as was the case with last fall's "The Grudge" remake), a wise move that brings a nuanced visual flair to an already stylistically impressive film. As with the first film, however, the feeble-minded screenplay by Ehren Kruger ("Scream 3") strains much of the movie's technical cred- ibility. Far more disturbing than any of its horror elements, the film manipulates each of its mother-child relationships into murderous lunacy before completely shifting gears in the ddnouement in favor of superfi- cial closure. And while "The Ring" largely suf- fered from its tireless 11th-hour plot explanations and revelations, "The Ring Two" is a more unrealized nar- rative that leaves many of its story aspects conspicuously unresolved, such as: Is Samara really the result of some kind of satanic virgin birth after all? Though these questions and others linger when the credits begin to roll, "The Ring Two" is a sufficiently sat- isfying sequel that is probably more spooky than it is actually frighten- ing but nevertheless functions pre- cisely as it was intended with only minimal snags along the way. That said, an aspect of the series that is commonly left unexplored is that of the horrific, deadly VHS tape emerging conveniently in 1998 - on the brink of DVD's emergence in popular culture. A silly observation, perhaps, but it wouldn't be the first time the horror genre was used as social allegory. And now that home video is all but dead, maybe in "The Ring Three" Samara will finally find it prudent to release a round of her death tapes on DVD. By Alexandra Jones April 5, 2005 DVD REVIEW It's official: The first season of "Amer- ica's Next Top Model," one of television's most unintentionally hilarious real- ity gems, has been released on DVD. America's Now in its fourth sea- Next Top son, "ANTM" takes a Model: dozen or so "beauti- Cycle I ful" girls, puts them in a loft apartment with Paramount cameras rolling 24/7, and attempts to shape them into models and shows the process on UPN. Cycle 1 remains the most preciously ridiculous season. Producers selected 10 girls to compete and one contestant is eliminated each week until the final three face off in a high-fashion runway show. Cycle l's judges include hostess/super- model/Creator of the Universe Tyra Banks and one of the world's first supermodels, ex-cokehead Janice Dickinson, whose catty comments alone ("This looks like she escaped from a mental institution," or the classic"Itlookslike youhave apenis.") make the show a must-see. Each week, the girls learn technique (like strutting on the runway), compete in a challenge (creating the perfect "smoky eye") and have a photo shoot (posing with a snake, acting in a contact lenses commercial). The first season of "ANTM" brought its most loved and reviled personalities. There's Ebony, the obnoxious black les- bian whose attempts to improve her skin's texture result in a confrontation over the grease she's been leaving on all the doorknobs; laid-back Chicagoan rocker Adrienne, whose thick accent and food poisoning don't stop her from winning the season; and hypocritical, ultra-Christian Robin, a former Miss Soybean pageant winner whose bitchy zealousness creates a faction of Bible-thumpers in the house. And then there's Elyse - a bastion of real-world sanity in a house full of ditzy bitches. This pre-med indie chick stum- bled upon a casting call and made a tape as a joke - but her couture-perfect body and a knack for modeling got her to third- to-top on the show. She has done better than any of the winners andrecently com- pleted a stint in Hong Kong. After they've spent a few weeks stuck in the house, Robin criticizes Elyse's athe- ist beliefs - and she snaps. In a confes- sional booth rant, Elyse verbally rips apart the other girls in what has to be the abso- lute apex of reality television: " ... The most vapid conversations are going on all around me ... Adrienne ... Stop quoting "Jay andSilent Bob"nexttomyear.Robin, how fucking dare you show me that 'fool- ish is the atheist' Bible verse ... Foolish is the woman who believes that goddamn tripe. Giselle, you fucking worthless cunt. You are so wasteful, bitchy, stupid. You're worthless ... Dammit. Let me fucking die. You bitches." Elyse is totally awesome. Unfortunately, Paramount skimped a little on the show's features. There's a bor- ing peek into contestant selection, a talk with Banks andthe producers and a short featurette on two of the show's fabulous mainstays, makeup artist Jay Manuel and runway trainer J. Alexander. More of the judges' deliberations - or a few of Jan- ice's stories from her rehab days - would have made this DVD perfect. So what if none of them (with a few exceptions) are talented, skinny or young enough to actually break into the model- ing world? How can you resist watching the unsuspecting hamsters pose with live snakes, condemn each other as heathens and affectionately call each other "slut- hos"? You can't. Go buy this DVD. Now. Show: ****I Picture/Sound: ***I Features: *** I- ENV I RON M ENT c We offer an LSA Concentration as well as a minor and courses that are open to students across the University. } fAI1 '@ WNVIROHMENTA1 INTlO Environ 110: Intro to Global Change 1 (4 cr.) . Environ 210: Intro to Environmental Politics (3 cr.) Environ 270: Our Common Future (4 cr.) http://environment.Isa.umich.edu/environ/ TheBue Pil e 24 . 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