12 - The Michigan Daily - Monday, July 11, 2005
What happened Kevin Costner?
here's an epidemic that's been opinions on why they don't like Kevin "If (Tigers) were better more people
sweeping Michigan for who Costner's favorite sport. would go to the games and hop on the
knows how long now. It's even "It's too slow moving, although the bandwagon," my friend Sarah said. "It's
more encompassing than the typhoid people watching is usually prime, and always better when your team wins."
fever that inevitably sweeps through your the tighter pants are an incentive to go But as I mentioned earlier, my older sis-
wagon in Oregon Trail. What is this as well," my friend Jenny said. "You ters all like the Minnesota Twins, and they
calamity? I'll tell really hope they get a hit so you can see were gross (and not inthe good way) from
you: college-aged the players run around the bases with 1993 to 2001. Even more telling is that the
women at Michigan their booties." Texas Rangers and Chicago Cubs are often
do not like baseball. Fromthat I assume that she doesn't near the top in attendance, and those teams
I know, it's a love David Wells, C.C. Sabathia, or any haven't exactly been world-beaters either.
broad sweeping other rotund major leaguer. Despite the Cubs deficiencies, whenever
statement, but in But just like in real life, one girl straight I switch to a game on WGN I always see
my experience it's MATT up contradicted what Jenny had to say. plenty of girls having a good time in the
true, and I'm going VENEGONI "OK, their pants freak me out," incom- friendly confines of Wrigley Field.
on my fourth year The Balls ing freshman Brittany said. "They're But Sarah's main concern is not wins
here in Ann Arbor. weird, they should wear guys clothes." and losses but rather her safety at games.
And to me it's a huge problem with seri- So back to the drawing board - I "I'm scared of balls flying at my face,"
ous consequences - none more impor- asked some more girls what they she said (make up your ownjoke here).
tant than the fact that baseball hats on thought about baseball. Predictably So at that point I had the following
girls are hot. And if they don't like base- many of them also said that it was too reasons for not liking baseball: slow
ball, they most likely won't wear hats. boring. In fact, a group of girls from moving, boring, tight pants, crappy
I come from Minnesota, not exactly Toledo all said that baseball was just home teams, balls flying at face.
known for its beautiful, warm weather. too "mellow" and boring. More inter- I decided that I would talk to one more
But most of the girls I know - including estingly, and offensive, a girl who girl and see what she had to say.
my three older sisters - really like base- preferred to be kept anonymous said Catherine - a graduate student - was
ball. I know about three girls here (please that the players' pants make them actually being taught how to thow a base-
no jokes about not knowing enough girls) look like a word that rhymes with ball when I walked over to talk to her. I
that like baseball and most of them are bags. I was taken aback, but I per- found out that she didn't like baseball for
Daily Sports writers. severed, moving on and leaving the a different reason than all the other girls
With this problem lingering in the way-too-open girl from Ohio. I talked to - she was never exposed to it
back of my mind, I headed to the streets Then it hit me - could it be that the and therefore never became attached to it.
to get the word straight from the horse's Detroit Tigers constantly crappy play Awesome, I talked to like 15 girls that
proverbial mouth. I talked to some of my over the past 10 or so years influenced an didn't like baseball and they give me
friends and some strangers and got their entire generation of non-baseball fans? no less than five different reasons with
variations for each one not to like it.
But there's a silver lining in all of
this - maybe I was wrong. It's possible
that I just hang out with a non-baseball
crew of girls. Of the 20 or so girls I
talked to there were at least five that
liked baseball. Hey, I like those odds
better than crossing the Oregon Trail
without typhoid fever or a snakebite.
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Detroit outfielder Craig Monroe slides safely into second base on a steal in the
seventh inning of the Tigers' 3-2 win over the Cleveland Indians.
THE= SIGN SAYS IT AL.
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Move in by
iuly 30,2005*
1819 Willowtree Lane
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Matt would love it if anyone would like to
discuss baseball or Oregon Trail. He can be
reached at mvgoni@umich.edu
I
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