10 - The Michigan Daily - Monday, July 22, 2002

ARTS


MATINEE MONSTER MONDAY!

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'Freaks' is the
best mutant
film of season
By Jeff Dickerson schemes, which
Daily Arts Editor include a failed
ostrich farm. His
In the 1950's, monster movies were latest entrepre-
as prevalent as teen comedies are neurial enterprise
today, from the Hammer Horror films is storing barrels
with Peter Cushing and Christopher of toxic waste in
Lee to the Universal Studios creature the mineshafts
series. With the recent "Reign of near town. And we
Fire" and now the Roland all know with
Emmerich/Dean Devlin produced toxic waste comes
"Eight Legged Freaks," the once trouble.
mighty genre has experienced a long Local grasshop-
overdue resurgence. ers stumble into a Arac attacks man ini
With the title "Eight Legged vat of the spilled
Freaks," you know exactly what kind waste, becoming tainted food for the
of movie you're stepping into. The pets of an eeire spider collector (Tom
creative team behind the movie is Noonan, "Manhunter"). Within hours,
unashamed to exploit its H-movie per- the spiders begin their transformation
sona, from the corny poster to the into classic movie monsters, making
monster-truck-rally style television ad their former owner their first victim.
campaign. Originally The movie gets off to
titled "Arac Attack," a sluggish start and real-
after the events of Sept. ly doesn't find its niche
11 the name was AA until the mutant spiders
deemed inappropriate EIGHT LEGGED start to lay waste to the
and changed. FEK Arizona landscape.
Chris McCormack From there, director
(David Arquette, "Mup- At Showcase and Ellory Elkayem com-
pets From Space") Quality 16 fortably navigates the
returns to his hometown creature feature into its
of Prosperity, Ariz to Warner Bros. more-than-entertaining
find his small villa on second half. The com-
the verge of bankruptcy. His lost love puter generated spiders denote the
Sheriff Sam Parker (Kari Wuher, small effects budget of the film, but
"Beastmaster 2") is the mother of two then again that's another key element
kids, one a spider loving Harry Potter of the genre.
look-a-like (Scott Terra, "7th Heav- The premise of "Eight Legged
en"), the other an unappreciative Freaks," is remarkably similar to
daughter (Scarlett Johansson, "Home 1993's straight-to-video mosquito
Alone 3"). The mayor is despised by thriller "Skeeter." In both films, the
the few citizens left in the town, who protagonist returns to their desert
are tired of his money making hometown after a long hiatus, falls in

,
t
.,
R.

New 'Halloween' film
nothing to be scared of

By Lyle Henretty wrong guy's head, it's a slasher fran-
Daily Arts Editor chise from the '80s: Consistency is
for the weak.
Make no mistake, the 1/2 star is Actually, the first five minutes are,
simply for the music; the same while not good, at least an entertain-
music that John Carpenter swore ing throwback to those simple gore-
saved his 1978 exploitation-fest (and fests of the Reagan era. Michael
classic) "Halloween" stalks his sister (Curtis)
from monotony. As the through a mental insti-
seventh sequel, "Hal- tution and they have a
loween: Resurrection" show-down on the roof.
serves up ample ladles HALLOWEEN: She almost outsmarts
full of the eerie piano- N him, but his brawn (re:
mantra that ndicates RESURRECTION butcher knife) wins the ,
the presence of titular A a day. If the movie had
(or tired or whatever) At hocase and ended there (just before
Courtesy of Warner Bros. boogyman Michael the opening credits), at
chair. Myers. If you really Dimension least I wouldn't have
like the music, buy the felt any dumber walking
love again with the sheriff, discovers soundtrack. To the original, not to out of the theater.
barrels of toxic waste in an abandon this afterbirth. Enter Busta Rhymes.
mineshaft and fends off an armada of But wait, didn't Jamie Lee Curtis The rapper/producer/actor/felon
mutated beasts. "Skeeter" took itself return after 20 years to decapitate plays an internet entrepreneur with
seriously which resulted in nothing Myers in 1998s "Hal- the latest internet sensation: Sending
more than a bad movie, while loween: H20?" This people into the home of Michael 4
"Eight Legged Freaks" is cleaned up in Myers to see if they survive the
embraces its low budget roots the prologue, night! On camera! If those two sen-
and has fun with it. with Curtis tences seem dumb to you, imagine
"Eight Legged Freaks" suc- returning for how much mileage director Rick
ceeds because it is so self a cameo. She, Rosenthal gets out of his killer
aware. It constantly plays off of course, premise. About as much as I got out
the rules and conventions of simply cut of that pun.
the monster movie genre, off the Rosenthal, best known for botch-
but never to the point of par- w r o n g ing the series to begin with as the
ody. Casting Arquette in the guy's head. director of "Halloween 2," does little
lead role was a master- That's all, to remove the stench from his repu-
stroke, as he proves to be m o v e tation. He places a handful of attrac-
the modern day John along, tive kids in the house and gives
Agar ("Tarantula") them all the personality you can fit
As far as attacking into a sentence. Blondie wants to be
giant spider 14 a star! The black guy cooks! The
movies go guy from "American Pie" (Thomas
"Eight Legged :Ian Nichols) is ... killed first.
Freaks" is as r The director films as if he's only
good as it gets. been told about other "Halloween"
The film will movies and is clumsy trying to
certainly not "scare" people by suddenly bringing
stand the test of the killer into the shot. He may have 4
cinematic time, had an easy time flashing a sign
but it does fill across the screen that simply said
its shoes nicely "Be Scared."
as a fun sum-- No one watching "Halloween:
mer monster Courtesy ofmension Resurection" will be, but at least he'd
matinee. Curtis on the set of "Trading Places 1h." be doing something productive.

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