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May 01, 2000 - Image 5

Resource type:
Michigan Daily Summer Weekly, 2000-05-01

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

Monday, May 1, 2000 - The Michigan Daily - 5


shouldn't fear
Naked Mile
I wanted to express my dis-
may that the Michigan Daily
Cwis a forerunner in the nega-
Wtmse me dia hype surrounding
the Naked Mile this vear. The
Daily chose to run a full head-
line. "This is a dangerous
esent citing such dangers as
getting your picture taken,
getting arrested and getting
Indeed, running the Naked
Mile is not for everyone. I
understand people don't like
the idea of having their naked
0pictures posted on the inter-
net. However, this is not dan-
gerous. I checked out some of
those internet sites, and
they're huge collections of
naked pictures. Once again -
anonymity in numbers. In a
day when the public barely
winces at the knowledge that
the President has smoked pot,
Ono one's reputation is going to
be ruined by a Naked Mile
As I expected. average
Naked Mile runners were not
arrested. Only four people
were arrested and they were
unique instances involving
more than just running the
Naked Mile. It's a shame peo-
ple didn't run for fear of being
arrested. Hopefully people
swill be assured that they can
run next year without this
Finally. it is absurd that
warnings were given that the
police would not be able to
stop a possible rape. Women
risk the chance of being raped
daily. But give me a break -
the streets of Ann Arbor have
-ever been safer than the
Wight of the naked mile with

people and police everywhere.
After this successful
Naked Mile. I hope students
can get oer their fears and
run next year. Long live thc
Naked Mile!

just increase secur ityto Pro-
tect runners as they journey
across campus in the buff.
Let's keep this tradition
alise. Istis one of the few great
things that many Of LIs will
lose to tell our children ihen
we are older.

Not enough A-
students are AAPD wrongly
running naked scared away

Well, its now Saturday and
I am fully clothed. But recent-
ly I ran in my first Naked
Mile. I know that it is intend-
ed for seniors, but I couldn't
pass up on this opportunity
because I didn't know if it
would be cancelled in years to
come. Though I am only a
freshman here and I have
never seen the Naked Mile run
before, I thought it was great.
So there were a few fat old
pervs out there with their
video cameras but there were
no major problems from what
I saw. What I did notice was
an entire student body gather-
ing together for a traditional
University event, just like a
football game.
It was awesome to see
everyone out in the streets
having a good, safe time. We
weren't burning couches and
throwing them at runners
which may happen in Green
and White country.
Instead, everyone watched
friends, team members. broth-
ers and sisters, and the occa-
sional fat guy run around Ann
Arbor naked. I only have one
problem with the Naked Mile
and that is the fact that so few
people actually run in it. I
think University officials
should quit threatening us and

As an Alumni of the
University of Michigan, and a
four time participant in the
Naked Mile, I find it unfortu-
nate that the AAPD decided
that it was necessary to arrest
people who were associated
with what was a traditional and
harmless campus event. The
jubilation and freedom, com-
bined with the end of the
semester (and campus exis-
tence for many seniors) was an
event unique to Ann Arbor and
the culture that is the campus.
The "excuse" given by the
AAPD relating to the crowds
behavior is laughable. If people
are getting groped or bull-
whipped, as the AAPD claimed,
set up a barricaded course or
provide police protection to the
Don't destroy an event that
for myself, and many of my col-
legian counterparts, was a jubi-
lant and unique event for
Michigan students. Shame on
the AAPD.

Spending the summer stuck in Ann Arbor
W ell if you're reading this. that means that I am, Athletic Departient Scand
yet again, stuck in Ann Arbor. Well, maybe some sort of fun and illegala
"stuck" isn't the best word to use. I cant think of too Athletic Department isn't far
many other places during this time of year, that I'd temperatures start to rise in
rather be stuck. But for those of youi siho are spend- sports programs begin to get
ing your first summer in A2, I'll let you in on a little collar.
secret This is the best time to be in Ann Arbor In the past our Athletic D
Out of state and out of town students football coach, said
flays rip on Michigan's temperamieni- more frequently and
tal tintrum oather paterms. \\ here else ed K-mart dollar day
cin Iou sear short and T-shii mids ay -all during the sUI
throi'h Deceter bit still be i layered Tigers BasebaIl: A
cloth ng dn the ast s eek of 0?oolthe team with the m
Michigan has iii weather consistency of best ballpark in basel
the rock's color the crownjewel of bu
But that all changes during spring and throw-back stadium
summer term. Everything becomes con- capitalized on an op
sistent and dare I say, almost normal. In have botched in the'
these four months, Ann Arbor has leaves JON People Mover? Well,
that are actually green and on the trees, a ZEMKE use, transporting peo
sky that's blue and cold beer coming not 1 , C E Top of the Park: I
from some sort of Greek function. IEIG. ..date. This well kept s
The summerinAnn Arbor is an invita- on in the summer
tion to play IM softball, drink until the sun rises garage by Rackham. They
without worrying about consequences, and sit on movies at dusk, and there's ev
your porch, ogling the sun bathers on Elbel field. Parking: For Top of the Par
And this is just a taste of what lies ahead. So to would have to be available pi
give you a better idea of what's in store for you, I've available parking. The streets'
taken the time to outline some of the highlights of a that much of the campus ha
long hot summser. SUV's back east for their D.C.
The Three S': Or better known as the Spring (or nice weather will encourage
Summer) Social Scene. Sure a lot of your friends come out more, but for eve
got that dope internship in D.C. and left you here to town there will be at least two
rot., but don't feel abandoned. your vehicle from those bluet
Thousands of students are taking cake courses And there is a lot more thatr
masquerading as classes, and now have a lot of time best time to live in Ann Arbor
on their hands and fake I.D.s in their wallets. Unless motorcycles, lifeguards or roa
you're dumb enough to be taking orgo for three hours and more mean one thing. Th,
everyday, your class is a joke. And if you don't have rather be stuck than right her
classes and have a night job, campus and downtown -Jon Zetmke can be
bars will soon become a regular favorite refuge.

il: And where there's
activity, the Michigan
away. Every time the
Ann Arbor, the big
a little hot under the
epartment has lost a
the words Ed Martin
last year even decid-
ys were too expensive
n hour east is home to
[ost character and the
ball. Comerica Park is
aseball's new string of
s. For once Detroit
portunity they would
past. Remember the
it now has a practical
ple to Comerica Park,
t's the ultimate cheap
ecret takes place later
on top of a parking
show free popular
en a beer garden.
k to be possible there
arking - much more
will seem barren, now
s taken their parent's
intemships. Yeah, the
the meter maids to
ry SUV that has left
'parking spots to hide
uniformed devils.
makes the summer the
. I didn't even get into
id trips. But all of this
ere's nowhere else I'd
e, right now.
reached via e-mail at

I =-Y
"~'VE ~E~D~c'~ &Obl&o$tA..T
GA1~N:Wi- '/ L1-EA-IVRE A5EM 0

Inauguration of the slurm
A nn Arbor citizens, visitors, unfortunately 0 from a mail-order plastic brain mold. The blood
trapped spring term students, inter-dimension- red, cherry-flavored additives should leave sanguine
al hangers on and the like: you have, right here, fingerprints between every line of this column.
right now, in your hands, the inaugural "This So write me email, mug me in the streets and cor-
Postmodern World" millennial soap box diatribe! ner me to shove your finger in my face. Do any-
Yes, I'm afraid you're stuck with me this summer. thing it takes, because I want to know what's going
But I want this kind of one-to-many mass media on. If you don't, I'll never sample all the artificial
diversion to be over as soon as the next fruit flavors your gray matter has to offer.
monkey, so bear with me. Just wait. This I'm not going to pretend like I've got a
Postmodern World has some pun in store. firm grip on any situations here. The only
This Postmodern World trims thin sane answer is that no one has more than
slices of opinion in succulent veal and a faint clue as to what is going on at any
swallows the choicest young cuts, only to moment. We all know the leader-shaping
comment on the bologna by the stale machine atthe center of this college town
crackers on the tray of national concern. dodges categories like Stumpy the tailless
TPW acts like a simile, but is a Angell Hall squirrel avoiding pedestrians
metaphor, standing on tiptoe for a peak on a rabid acorn run. And I try to be no
of the irony board. And after we shovel exception.
the bullshit, we'll scrub with trope on a JOSH So, if you make like a hair and split,
rope. So hopefully the only aftertaste WICKERHAM please come back long enough to sample
you'll be left with is your own making. T.is P1 m my bottles of greasy conditioning agents
This Postmodem World wants to break Ii DERN that bind the hair, lifting, fluffing, and
through the chrysanthemum and charge 1 5 restoring its natural sheen. And if you
into the shadows where your eyes don't make like a tree and leave, I'll grab
go. We're going to sense earthquakes before they enough leaves to light the bonfire right in the cen-
shake up the pedagogical pyramids, and be ready to ter of my brain. And just remember: defined opin-
run up for the high view. ion is a running gage and everyone is in the scopes.
So what does this all mean? It means, don't listen I will love each and every one of you silent read-
to anyone who is gauging opinion. Don't listen to ers. I will love the loud ones too. I'm going to give
me, obviously! And don't call me naive, but we're it my best, and beat on my chest and bite the hands
going to try to get along for a while. You and me - that read me. I'm going to write from my left ven-
wannabe hierophant to questioning reader. I'm not tricle, with my toes on the keyboard, and feel the
telling you how it will be in any certain terms, so love-loathing brainwaves of the consuming masses,
don't expect it. sensing the coffee-eyed glare of a few thousand
As social interaction continues its voyage down scrutinizing eyes.
the river of strangeness, I'll just fish out the treats And who's to say I might not nail down a few
and pass on the trifling discrepancies. issues before my stint is over? Only you. Because
But don't think this is going to be a one-way dia- there is always room for Jell-O. So, come along.
logue. I'm only as informed as I presume to be. To You belong. Feel the fizz of Cuckoo Cola.
get this right, I've gotta be able to stick my hands -Josh Wickerham can be berated via e-mail at
inside your head and swirl your cerebrum like Jell- jwt'ickerh@tnichedu.

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