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June 08, 1998 - Image 5

Resource type:
Michigan Daily Summer Weekly, 1998-06-08

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

"It's not just nickels and dimes."
- University Athletic Director Tom Goss,
referring to the problem of gambling on college
athletics after two former Northwestern basketball
players admitted to points shaving against three teams,
including Michigan.

Day loses its
After reading Dante Mastri's
"Community observes
Memorial weekend" (5126198), 1
felt a little uneasy, and a bit
*ffed. I'm not excessively
patriotic, but even I know that
Memorial Day is not a "celebra-
tion" of anything, and couldn't
even be dampened by bad
weather, as the caption implied.
It is already a "damp" occasion.
intended to commemorate mem-
bers of the armed forces who
were killed in war - not exactly
alid reason to fire up the old
II and have a cookout, if you
think about it.
Granted, that is how we
"observe" it, but the article did-
n't even mention anything per-
taining to its intended purpose.
A photo displaying the
American flag was printed,
rather than one that showed
people sniffing the mentioned
peonies in the Arb, but that was
extent of it. And boy scouts
'rrying the flag? Why not
show a picture of a grief-strick-
en veterani in the parade.
marching, while trying to fight
back tears because he's not with
his comrades? Why not print an
interview with the widow or
widower of someone who was
killed in a war? Even some

words from a history professor
might help recapture this holi-
day, which has been commer-
cialized like so many others.
Frankly, I could care less about
how much more fried chicken
Meijer sold, or who canoed and
worked during the leisurely
three-day weekend.
Most of our freedoms are
taken for granted, but we still
owe their existence to the people
that we honor (or should be hon-
oring) on the last Monday in
May. The Daily should have
shown a little more respect to
those who were actually observ-
ing Memorial Day, even by
briefly acknowledging its signif-
icance. My grandfather was in
WWI, and it doesn't take too
much thought to realize that I
wouldn't exist if he had been
killed. It definitely makes me
stop and smell the flowers, but
please, save the big, news-break-
ing celebration stories for
Independence Day.
North Campus
lacks weekend
Having lived in Bursley Hall
for two years now, I can say that
unless the administration of this

University does something about
the weekend busing situation
between Central and North
Campuses, a bunker mentality
shall take hold among those stu-
dents who by their own volition
or by fate, live in the northlands
of Michigan.
It's not that North Campus
doesn't have its own unique
charms, but the culture of
Central Campus - which this
University has heavily promot-
ed - is virtually cut off to stu-
dents on North Campus
because they are forced to wait
almost 20minutes for a bus. If
they do get lucky enough to
catch one, they must spend an
additional 15 minutes riding
through the backwaters of the
Northwood complex before
they begin their actual journey
down to Central.
It's not really that hard to
solve: Add two buses an hour,
making them run every 12
minutes. It would also help to
run some Bursley/Baits buses
on the weekends for the almost
1,800 residents of those two
If the administration is seri-
ous about making all students
feel like they are a part of the
University community, they
will make a concerted effort to
resolve this situation in a timely
and effective manner.

Monday, June 8, 1998 - The Michigan Daily - 5
Stupidity tries our patience and makes us feel good
W e all deserve a great deal of credit for sim- on who might be dead. I can see it now, H.R.
ply making it through day-to-day life with 1138, declaring that Joe Piscopo is legally dead.
each other. Because one thing is for certain - and has been so for quite some time.
the world has a surplus of stupidity. But powerful idiots do not live solely in
For some reason, at a random point in the day, Washington, D.C. No, the boardrooms of corpo-
a person will put forth a view so misguided or do rate America are filled with them. No one capa-
something so dumb that I would like to say, ble of performing an actual meaningful task
"Wow, you are an idiot." Isuspect this could ever rise so high up the ldder.
also happens to you. And if you're like People on the bottom rungs run every-
me, you're always polite no matter _ thing, and they can never be promoted
how trying the behavior. because there is no one of intelligence to
Why are we so polite? Well, general- J replace them. I guarantee that the
ly our parents have raised us to be civil biggest thing the heads of Chrysler and
human beings who treat our fellow Daimler did in their recent merger was
mar: with respect. Other times, stupid play checkers to decide whose compa-
people are bigger than us. And, worst ny's name would come first.
of all, a large number of these people While stupidity and its minions test
are in positions of power. one's patience, my friend and I recently
Perhaps the most glaring example of DAVID stumbled on the reason we don't just
idiocy so coagulated that no intelligent WALLACE explode on them.
beings can penetrate the mess is the C' a I 122iN Morons are put here to amuse the
federal government. One of my iH Ei WVRY smart people.
favorite recent examples occurred dur- The evidence arrived in the form of a
ing the battle over Microsoft's packaging of its fax to a Detroit sports talk radio show. My friend
internet browser with its operating system. In a described to me a certain Dallas Stars fan who,
brilliant attempt to sooth the outraged Netscape, before game six of the recent series, sent a mes-
maker of a rival browser, the government wanted sage to the station to the effect of, "Wings suck,
Microsoft to package Netscape with its Windows Dallas rules." Our inflammatory friend happened
platform. While they were at it, they should have to leave his fax number and e-mail address on the
asked Coke to include three cans of Pepsi in note. The guys at the station, being the keen indi-
every 12 pack. viduals they are, read them to their audience.
My other personal favorite hails from the Suddenly, Dallas Fan was having a bad day.
House of Representatives last week, where, at the And that's why we don't pile all the idiots into
behest of ill-informed House Majority Leader a rocket and fire them to the moon. It's nice to
Dick Armey (R-Texas), Rep. Bob Stump (R- know that however low on the totem pole we feel,
Arizona) announced that Bob Hope had been there is somebody out there a lot lower than us. If
eaten by wolves. Ok, maybe he didn't say Hope we don't get our due at the office or at the polls,
was eaten by wolves, but Stump reported that the we at least know that we get to go home with our
comedian was dead. This is absolutely priceless, intellect in tact. As for the others, being stupid is
because instead of figuring out the nation's prob- a 24-7 job.
lems, our elected representatives are conjecturing --nidWllacaibeiucedatdmctsil idcxcta
Everyone gets burned afew times while growing up
F or all of us, there's a point in time, or there will when I was that age and what I thought was cool at
be, when we realize we are old. For me, that the time. Hmm, did I do any embarrassing things in
time came last weekend at a Dave Matthews con- the name of acting older and cooler while I was in
cert. I was walking around the outdoor venue high school? I'm not quite sure, but there was that
before the show started with a beer in my hand. time when ...
Being ever self conseious, I began to notice two dis My friends and I cised Gratiot (Fornon-metro-
tinct reactions of the crowd to my look-at-who-has Detroters(Gratiot's a road that, when propery
a-beer swagger. The first made me feei cruised, is the perfect vehicle for picking
really young and unworthy of my rela- up members 'if the opposite sex.) Driving
tively new 21-year-old status. The second along in my buddy's '93 Geo Metro and
made me feel older and compelled me to blasting the current party-hit,
rub the poor excuse for stubble on my "Everybody Hurts," we couldn't under-
chin. ,' stand why, when we pulled up to cars
The first reaction came from people with cute girls in them, they all sped up.
who were also drinking but actually When, at a red light, a girl rolled
looked old enough to do so. Big guys down her window, we thought we were
with real goatees would smirk and mum- 'in.I asked her what grade she was in.
ble something to their friends, probably 2"'She said she was a freshman at State.
along the lines of "hey that kid's gotta be CHRIS Not wanting to look like a total dork
no older than sixteen ... must have a good LANGRILL and the sophomore that I was, I said
fake." Or their girfriends, being more 11i)T something like, "yeah, well, we're
kind, laughed at me and simply said, \'iND seniors graduating next month." Just as
"that's cute." Thanks, but that is not what the girl's shrieking laughter erupted, the
I've been striving for since I illegally tasted my first light turned green and they were gone. We were
beer in high school. humiliated in our attempt to act older.
But then came the respect I deserve. As the beer So when the two young girls at the show told me
wench for my group of friends - being the only they were nineteen after I asked whether they
"of age" person - I was making my ninth or 10th should be drinking, what could I do'? I remembered
trip to the beer stand when a couple girls stopped what it was like to want to be older than you are.
me on the crowded walkway. But at the same time, Dave was waltzing onto the
Was I being hit on? stage to start the set.
No. The girls, probablyI 15 or 16 but looking 12, Feigning maturity and responsibility, I politely
seemed intent on asking me something. But, stand- told them. "No, I can't.' I asn't about to contribute
il, there clad in the mandatory Abercrombie tank to the dlinquncv of such impressionable minors.
tops and khaki shorts, they cre hesitant. Besides, my friinds - an already alcoholic group
Expecting ridicule even fr m those youngr than of minors had paid me to get them beer first.

me ~AL #A.I~ C~U@N'5 As P APPVPQ#



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