Monday, June 29, 1998 - The Michigan Daily - 5
" They're drawing well ... There's no reason for that to
change. There's not that much else to do in Omaha."
- Michigan assistant hockey coach Mel Pearson,
on the success of the hockey program of
the University of Nebraska-Omaha.
ro THE DAILY:
In Erin Holmes' recent arti-
le "Footbalfans my get
way games at home"
15/98), a possibility of the
chigan Marching Band per-
orming at Michigan Stadium
uring road football gains is
nentioned. tIurge the Athletic
epartment and the Marching
and not to do so.
As a former memberI
reatly appreciate that the
Athletic Department feels the
Football fans would be drawn by
band's presence. I also real-
ze that our band is treated better
by the Athletic Department than
any other band in the country is
reated by theirs. But I feel this
idea would harm the band mem-
bers more than benefit the
Only someone who has
rarched in the band can know
pow much strain is placed upon
a member. For a 2-credit class,
d members are expected to
work more than 30 hours a week
daring the course of the season.
This does not include an addi-
tional 60-80 hours during August
for preseason practice, nor does
it include reporting to Ann Arbor
the day after Christmas for bowl
game practices. While the
games and p
or more road
ly looks at o
are the onlyc
even sleep in
hers are grate
provide, it is
of these hard
als. I urge the
value the stu
more than th
eing in the band - short-sightedness of policymak-
traveling toroad ers when tackling controversial
erforming in front issues. Rather than tackle the
of people - are issue at hand, the easiest and the
so is the mental and least inconvenient solution
x on the members. always seems to be banning
en home games, one firearms. The real issue is the
games and two demand for firearms that exists
ady on the slate, a in society. Until the demand for
nd member current- firearms disappears, people will
mly two free week- find means of acquiring them
n September 5 and regardless of laws.
I. These weekends Why not educate owners of
opportunities to visit firearms on properly storing
up on classes or firearms (away from children)
. While band mem- and how to handle them safely?
eful for all the Wouldn't teaching people to
artment and fans safely handle and own firearms
unfair to ask more be a much more productive
A-workng ini vidu- means of controlling guns?
e Athletic t Tie cost of enforcing a ban
and DrwSedatole to on firearms could be better used
dents' well being by educating those bent on own-
e money they can ing them. While I have never
owned a gun, I have had contact
DONALD ADAMEK with someone who did. I
LS&A SENIOR learned how to handle guns safe-
ly. It is a lesson that I treasure
should I ever decide to acquire a
gun. handled properly, a gun ca
ssue provide its owner with a sense o
security. The weakest and small-
suns not est of women, when properly
trained, can defend herself from
ssed attack. Why does the media
focus on the few stories involv-
LY: ing children and.firearms'?Is it
s like Jack to fan the fires of public outrage
Moses Isn't Leading over gun control?
Hype prevents us from enjoying the imperfection
Anyone who followed the NBA finals a cou- long before, so that actually playing a basketball
ple weeks ago got a lesson in hype. Our game was anticlimactic.
society has lost all ability to simply look forward But it's as if the finals never ended. They were
to events. Now, we get the Event of the Century just the appetizer to a summer of speculation.
of the Week. A little hype is healthy and increas- Prepare for headlines like, "Michael Jordan will
es one's anticipation, but too much has caused us clip toenails." It's as though every move he makes
to expect too much. tells something about what he will do.
I mean, after the NBA finals I am I actually feel bad for this man, for
sick of Michael Jordan. Don't get me :whom I still have some antipathy dating
wrong - in my mind there is no ques- back to the 1991 Eastern Conference
lion he's the greatest player ever. But finals when Zeke and Laimbeer walked
since the playoffs began, the only story out without shaking hands. I pity him
was Michael Jordan and his potential- because, like so many people in our soci-
ly final run at the championship. In ety, once the media got a look at Jordan,
recent weeks, Jordan has been on the he never escaped.
cover of Sports Illustrated five times. And Jordan has the added burden of
They might as well have run the same being seen as infallible. He has no mar-
picture every week, because even gin of error. Everyone who watches him
Jordan had lost his meaning by the DAVID expects nothing but the minimum 30
third cover. He's great, we get it. WALLACE points and game-winning shot.
And of course every pregame and CATCE I N The thing is, I wish I could be as per-
postgame show speculated on his next T TH XR Y feet as Michael Jordan has been numer-
move: would he win c r lose, come ous times for just one moment of my
back or retire? If Jordan was on the screen, it was life. I want to hear the crowd cheer. I think we all
time to cue the violins. NBC looked for drama at want to be like Mike and have a time when we are
every possible angle. so perfect no one can touch us. Seeing someone
There was no bigger drama than what would be rise to the very top gives us hope that we too can
Michael Jordan's final shot. I would almost swear become the greatest in some chosen curriculum.
that I heard Bob Costas at the end of Game 2 say, And so, when someone or something becomes
"If Michael Jordan gets hit by a bus after the renowned for a unique brand of excellence,
game, that was his last shot." There was practi- they've got to stay at that level for everything.
cally a countdown. If a slew of reporters had their They are hyped until the expectations become too
way, Jordan would have choreographed his great to meet. Jordan doesn't always hit the shot
games so that they could have analyzed every (though he did this time), but he always plays at
move like figure skating. Speaking in a hushed a level of greatness. The simple satisfaction of
voice, Dick Button could have announced, "Right playing a good game - of producing good work
now, Jordan will be going for a triple salchow - should not be overshadowed by the times one
reverse-dunk with a foul on Greg Ostertag." doesn't live up to expectations. 'Hie crowd used
And of course, when he hit his last shot to win to cheer for those who didn't win, but were noble
the title, it was ho-hum. All the ramifications had in defeat.
been beaten to death, all the drama squeezed out ---Daviinidwazcc a c/an ben etdrihnavim ni-ched
TO THE DA
the NRA tol
(6/15/98) are an
g reminder of the
KAAMAN BFEEZAs IT' HPPE
$ILLAIXY, ICW~T RtI&
PVWN 614 TOpcCO. IT'S
A$ IF TaRi& $ 90"t RO
C4APOTTE P#R09 Of
"E WT" # WkSYOV YD fMS
6o40006. ARE~ YOU FAt4ILAR
WIthTH O* X FeL-J.
4f I i I&
There's nothing like a serving ofjunkfoodfor thought
D o you ever wonder about little things like if Maybe your "things" are a little deeper or
Bob Dylan just looks dead, or is he really? philosophical than mine, but we can't all be
And why do radio stations sometimes get high-brow intellectual types now. But when you
fuzzy when you hit the brakes in your car? think about it, there's a ton of stuff out there that
What is minced meat exactly? just doesn't make sense. And if things do make
I wonder about things like this all the time, sense, sometimes you just have to wonder how
and while I may very well be insane, chances someone thought of them.
are you think about them too. There Hell, I'm 21 and I haven't come close
have to be things ... things that have to even having an idea that could
N people honking for you to move it at become something useful or inventive.
the light that's been green for 10 sec- Even something useless would be nice.
onds. Things that don't usually come ' I'msure the guywho invented the clti
to mind becanuse they just ixist, hut Ie was no Einstein. Ile swas probably
when you do stop and ponder them, some laid-off garbage man whose
you're left scratching your head. miniature wooden cow had gotten wet
Take heroin. Who's idea was it to and started to grow some funky mold
take a needle and jab it into his arm -4 uon it. That could easily be me.
for fun nonetheless? Were peopler, Yet life's great mysteries elude me.
doing this in medieval times? With CHRIS And of course I'm not just talking
wooden needles? It had to start some- LANGRILL about odd little products here.
time, you know. 1D..i i Phenomena such as Keith Richards stu-
Or condoms. How did they come WNIl pefy me. The man's been living off Jack
about? Was it a bunch of doctors sit- Daniels, heroin and bacon sandwiches
ting around one day or, better yet, some plastic for about 70 years now. And he can still walk
manufacturers who came up with the idea? Was around and play guitar without the help of a
plastic even around? Can you imagine the con- nurse.
versation that yielded the product? I don't know about you, but I find it much
"Yes, I've been getting a lot of sailors with irri- more thought-provoking to think about these
tated thingies, too. What should we do, Shamus?" bits of everyday life than to, say, stare at a sun-
Dr. Shamus looks at his colleague and a light set and contemplate how we're just small specs
goes off in his head."Let's wrap some sheep skin in a great big universe. There are bigger ques-
around their willies, That will do the trick." tions to ponder, like how many seas must the
Lastly, there are weird and useless things. white dove sail before she sleeps in the sand?
Pigs feet and mini octopi (calamari?). Why do And so what if I stole this last thought from
we eat certain things like this? Do you have to Dylan? My creativity started running out
fool yourself into believing they taste good? around the chia pet point in this column. I am a
How about the pogo ball? Those ugly little neon Communications major after all.
things that we all bounced around on in fifth Actually, that may explain a lot more than I
grade. There's also Alf, curling, silly putty, thought.
pocket dictionaries, Jolt Cola, plastic fruit, -- IfJyou think Chris Langrill is a terrible
speedos, bestiality and on and on. writen; you can reach him at sircnma n/Quich.e/i.