MBM WQPnMifGAN Come see Oscar-winning actor/direc- tor/writer Billy Bob Thornton's "Sling Blade" Friday and Saturday at 9:30 p.m. at the Michigan Theater. ARTS Wednesday July 2, 1997 1h% 'Batman' sequel bombs By !fran Nandalur Daily Arts Writer # The original "Batman" was an unmemorable and mediocre film. The long and boring "Batman Returns" put more people to sleep than warm milk. - "Batman Forever," with its excessive action and stale dialogue, made viewers question whether director Joel Schumacher even graduated from junior. high. Consequently, the new install- ment, "Batman and Robin," would be expected to be mind-numbingly terrible. Mr. Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger) hits With its formulaic plot, childish script and superfluous scenes, the movie ful- ability to fight crime as Batgirl. fills these low expectations and further The absurdity and incredibility of the desecrates a cultural icon. movie stems from the unoriginal dia- The plot of "Batman and Robin" logue and the abuse of puns. Mr. rotates around Batman (George Freeze's complexity can be described by Clooney) and his own mangled Robin (Chris O' words, "Kill da Donnell) protect- R E V I E W heroes." Batman ing Gotham City 4 exemplifies his from the diamond- 9/4 Batman and intelligence when he loving Mr. Freeze Robin first meets the men- ( A r n o l d I acing villain and Schwarzenegger), At Briarwood and Showcase states, "Hi, I'm who intends to Batman." The h6ld the world hostage with a freezing humor is even worse, as every conceiv- apparatus so he can acquire money for able joke about ice and cold is needless- research that wouldcure his cryogenical- ly thrown in. There are 10-year-olds ly preserved, terminally ill wife. with greater vocabularies than these Meanwhile, Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman), mentally challenged characters. an ecologically obsessed seductress, Another major problem is that the schemes to help plants supplant animals film has no direction or cohesiveness. as the dominant form of life. Unnecessary action scenes - like a On the home front, Batman's alter motorcycle chase and the trouncing of ego, the overly protective Bruce glow-in-the-dark thugs - divert from Wayne, faces the tribulations of acco- the motivation of the villains. In addi- modating his new reckless ward, Dick tion, artificial characters like the sultry Grayson, a.k.a. Robin. Convoluting the Julie Madison (Elle Macpherson) and plot further, Alfred the butler is termi- the monstrously muscular Bane seemed nally ill with the same disease as Mr. like they were simply added to excite Freeze's wife. His niece, Barbara the teenage masses. Wilson (Alicia Silverstone), arrives to As for the performance of George help him and luckily has the uncanny Clooney, he is unspectacular and does- Melvins bring Seattle rock sound to Shelter n't command a presence as Batman; he is perpetually overshadowed by the vil- lains, especially Poison Ivy. However, his bedside manner and nostalgic retreats with Alfred are quite poignant. Then again, he is supposed to be the sociopathic loner Bruce Wayne, not Dr. Ross of "ER." If it is any consolation, he physically resembles Batman more than his predecessors. The only redeeming aspects of "Batman and Robin" are the visually spectacular settings and the cool cos- tumes. The marvelous human statues in Gotham City and the inside of the muse- um and observatory steal the movie from the droll characters. The sharp- looking metallic costumes of Mr. Freeze and Batman and the sleek, sexy tights of Poison Ivy speak more about their respective intentions than their words. In effect, "Batman and Robin" is a carbon copy of the brain-cell-degener- ating "Batman Forever." Both films directed by Joel Schumacher present Batman as a gentle, affable and well- adjusted hero rather than the angst-rid- den, nihilistic character he is in the comic books. To appease the public, the image of the Caped Crusader has been tragically transformed from intensely dark to comically altruistic. By Ted Watts For the Daily Last Friday saw the classic proto- grunge group the Melvin5 invade Detroit. With Soundgarden's recent breakup, the Melvins are the last band from the seminal Seattle compilation "Deep Six" to survive. And they still pound away like the Northwest sledge- hammer they've always been. The Melvins' recent history, such as the band's return to an indie label with its current album, "Honky," has been a return to form. "We got sick and tired of Atlantic, basi- cally," said singer R.. and guitarist R Buzz Osborne in an interview with 1 The Michigan Daily. "We have a The S song on our new record called 'Laughing with Lucifer at Satan's Sideshow' that should explain every- thing nicely." The lyrics of said song are a distillation of the run-around a major label gives its bands. "I wish I could take credit for that, but I don't have that kind of imagination," Osborne said. In other words, lyrics like "You should consider yourselves lucky / Any other major label would have dropped you by now" are things people at Atlantic actu". ally told the band. So the Melvins are with Amphetamine Reptile, and "Honky" is a potpourri of songs that would have caused countless nosebleeds for the Atlantic crew. Osborne explained the process behind the varied sonics of the album: "We're not ones to worry too much about what people think - I kinda say whatever happens, happens, if it sounds good in the studio. This is a record I didn't worry at all about whether it was going to get on the radio or any of that stuff. Not that I worried that much about the other ones but this time I did- n't even think about it. It was fun to do:' Now the band is touring in support of the album, though not without incident. "They had us booked to play all these free radio shows. They still charge peo- ple, like, a dollar, but the bands make nothing and it's sort of a radio promo- r G r hi tion. And I just don't see the worth A playing radio shows for radio stations that don't play our music," complained Osborne. "I have no desire to play that when we can blow that show off, come to Detroit and play a real show" Mog Stunt Team, a Detroit-area band also on AmRep, opened for the Melvins with songs largely culled from their upcoming release "King of the Retards." Loud and full of energy, the band was very entertaining with it0 Cherubs-meet-Hendrix sound. As an added bonus, their guitarist looked just like Ted Nugent, although his playing V I E W was significantly more interesting he Melvins than Uncle Tedly's. Friday's bill was elter, Detroit especially appropri- June 27,1997 ate, since Mog was involved with tho creation of the new Melvins video "Mobius Haibachi," which was, oddly, the only song from "Honky" that the Melvins played. Their set clocked in at just over an hour, and was made up largely of tunes from their last three albums on Atlantic. Songs melted into one another, with only a handful of pauses. It was more like a half-dozen medleys instead of a cache of individ- ual songs. Drummer Dale Crov played hard and fast (as usual, wearin only briefs); bassist Mark Deutrom was accurate under his trademark cowboy hat; and Osborne was loud and enjoy- able under his frenzied hair. So what's in the near future for the Melvins? "We're doing a release that's (the 12) singles we put out in '96 - thatll be out in August. It'll be two CDs because it's more than 90 minutes of music, for a relatively cheap price -* we're only going to make profit off it as if we were selling one CD. So all we're adding to the price is the manufacturing of the second one. Our royalty rate will stay the same as if we sold a single CD" The Melvins aren't getting rich off their fans. How indie of them. But Osborne has this final philosophy to get him through the night. "As long as you don't have expensive drug habits or something like that you can survive off a rock and roll band. It's good." 0 S A 1A Achieve Your Maximum Score At EXCEL, we focus upon the key distinctions that result in great scores. You will learn to anticipate the exam's thinking, manage your time more effectively, control exam-day anxiety, and refine your test-taking strategies. Professional Instruction, Innovative Materials, Individual Attention, & Affordable Tuition. Prepare Now for the DAT & MCAT Classes begin in July & Sept. for the Oct. LSAT & Fall GRE (Computer and Pencil & Paper formats) 1100 South University Test Pre aration 996-1500 Don't PanicI! If you think you're pregnant... call us----we listen, we care. PROBLEM PREGNANCY HELP 769-7283 Any time, any day, 24 hours. Fully confidential. Serving Students since 1970.