Being a Lowly Worm
When I was akid,oneofmy favorite books was
"What do people do all day?" by Richard Scarry. In
its pages was a great little world, where every cat,
dog, and rabbit did their job and went about their
merry ways. And on every page Lowly Worm
would look out from behind some tree, content to
wear his green hat and quietly observe, never quite
choosing a profession like all the other animals.
A lotof times, I'dreally like to be Lowly Worm.
First of all, L. Worm gets to see what everyone
is doing, all the time. Not only would this be a
odsend for voyeurism (though no one ever did
anything that interesting in the Richard Scarry
books),but youcould finally figure outhow everyone
else spends their time. I've always wondered if I
work more orless than everyone else, and what they
really do to have fun. I'd probably end upfinding out
everyone goofs around the same as I do, but it would
be interesting anyway.
Being Lowly Worm would also mean I'd
never have to decide on a career. Young
adulthood is a time for making choices, and one
f the biggest is what you will "do all day," for
e rest of your life (variously known as what
you want to be when you grow up, how to pay
the rent, beats workin', and fending off credit
card collectors named Guido.)
A good career should meet the following
requirements:
' It's something you like to do. Unfortunately
it's often difficult to get paid for doing what we
like. When my brother was trying to choose a
major, I asked him, "So what are you really,
eally interested in?" "Television," he replied.
hat could work," I said. "There's television
production, and journalism, and even media
studies, if you want to go the academic route..."
"No, no, no," he said, waving off my suggestions.
"I don't want to study television. I just want to
watch it." Uh-huh. I'm sure he'll have a lucrative
career as a market research guinea pig.
" It will pay the rent, fend off Guido, and still
leave enough for luxuries such as food. As hinted at
above, these first two requirements are often
incompatible. The rule seems to be, "If it's at all fun,
u must eat Ramen every night to survive." The
fun things that pay are all high-risk: movie idol,
heavy-metalrockbandleader,presidentofthe United
States (not as fun as the others, admittedly, but what
other job would give you the opportunity to insult
world leaders?) As for low-risk and very fun, you
can always try professional wrestling.
" No one will laugh at you for doing it. This is a
toughone.Lawyersseemtobehavingafew problems
in the popularity department, and a lot of other jobs
on'tsoundvery prestigiouseither(see professional
estling, above). In the cartoon strip "Eyebeam",
the perpetual slacker Ratliff finally gets the perfect
job: he sits at a console at the television station and
turns the sound up when the commercials come on.
Maybe my brother will find a job doing what he
likes after all.
" It will be "a true use of your talents"
according to your parents. See the money
provision above, except add "pay the rent ....
and leave enough to support your ever-loving
parents in their old age."
" You'll meet interesting people. In some
bs the people you meet are a little too
interesting, so it's important to strike a balance
here. The other choice is sitting in front of a
computer terminal meeting lots of other
interesting people over the Internet who just
happen to be stuck behind computer terminals
like you are. (Hint: if they're stuck behind a
computer terminal, they're either just as
uninteresting or just as broke as you are.)
If you can't find a job that fits these
,l uirements, you can always try being Lowly
orm, constantly mooching off other people
for a place to stay. On the other hand, there's
probably a reason why he's called "Lowly"...
Wednesday, June 14, 1995 - The Michigan Daily - 5
No'BuiuE Quomm
"At its heart is a musical r
mals of the jungle gather r
song cheerfully celebrati
gobble them up wh
-Rihard
flD
"Forget a national realignme
luton. All that's new in ou
taken over the Republican
has taken o
-Mih
Supreme Court afn
ruling will adverse
By Adrienne Janney
When the Supreme Court refused to hear t
University of Maryland's appeal, it did not see
like the end of the world. The lower court ruli
did not appear threatening in Michigan. At least
would not affect the University, as it has r
similar scholarships - those that are specifical
created to compensate for past discriminatio
Fuss was minimal outside of Maryland, and mo
kept quiet.
After Monday's Supreme Court decision in
Colorado case, which ruled that the feder
government must apply a new, stricter standard
determine whether affirmative action progra
result in reverse discrimination, this nonchalan
may change. C. Stephen Ralson of the NAAC
Legal Defense and Educational Fund said, "TI
ruling will mean more challenges to affirmati
action programs."
But will affirmative action sustain the suppo
it has had in the past? Maybe not. With
Republican congress and an angry horde of sel
pitying citizens, the ruling could be enoughI
render affirmative action completely ineffectu;
The Denver lawyer who challenged the standa
ruled on, William P. Pendley said, "Now those wt
oppose affirmative action will have the intellectu
and constitutional basis for dismantling it."
Lacking strong federal backing, affirmati
action programs will be extremely vulnerableI
lawsuits. Already there is a strong sentiment th
slavery is not our problem. If that is the case, wh
shall we place the blame on these days - tI
South, the North or the slaves?
It is no longer a question of fault, but howI
level the playing field - we're a long way fro
home, kids. Although affirmative action isa
interim program, we have not reached the la
stretch. and may not in onr lfeim.Tt will he it
ie i
lumber in which all the little ani-
mund the hio animals and inc
Hazardous vacations
s g Imaintain that I managed to love American
ng the capacity of the latter to history in spite of the fact that my mom majored in
ienever they feel like it." and taught the subject. Mom was somewhat
overzealous in herattempts to instill in herchildren
Shiche/, contrib tor to Time Magazine, on the an appreciation for the culture of the past. She took
pulariy ofthefamiy movie, "7Yte Lion King." advantae of summersvacations to drag us away
t'zdrit ofhe/mit moiefrom our beloved TV show "The Dukes of Hazard"
nt. Forget the conservative revo- and replace the void with what she deemed
r politics is that one region has stimulating educational experiences. "You'll thank
ue for this later" she would insist. But I thought
Party and the Republican Party the day would never come.
u ,,When it came to manipulating her children,
ver the country." mom lived by Malcolm X's philosophy, "By any
ae/Lindin The New Repub/ic on the southern means necessary." She would unscrupulously lure
- o e a y e us into the car by promising us a trip to Cedar Point
in/luence on Republican party /eadeaship Amusement Park in Ohio. Thinking that mom had
finally given ip on her historical agenda, we would
willingly oblige. One by one we would scramble up
.0 the side of the cardoor to enter through the window
irm ativea cton mimicking the way those Southern renegades Bo
andLuke gainedaccesstotheirracecarthe"General
Lee." My father's face would slowly turn a deep
y af c t purple as he muttered something about us denting
and scraping up the Ford.
only when the game is played and we can call it a Afteraquickday ontheroller coasters,however,
he tie. the realpurpose behindthe trip wouldbecome alltoo
m Ironically, the new ruling benefited women - evident. Little did I know, or for the matter anyone
ng the programs aimed at women are to be judged but my mom, the great historical contributions of
it under a more lenient standard. Justice John Paul Michigan's southern neighbor. Apparently, Ohio is
no Stevens wrote in his dissenting opinion that now secondonly to Virginia for sending the mosnumber
ly "the governmentcan moreeasily enact affirmative- of presidents to the White House. Hence, for the rest
n. action programs to remedy discrimination against of the trip we would be dragged through the homes
st women than it can ... to remedy discrimination of seven dead presidents with scores of oherrying
against African-Americans." little kids whose parents must have been teachers. (I
a So some good may come out of this crackdown. thinkwe screamed more on the tours thanwe everdid
al NationalOrganizationofWomenPresidentPatricia on any roller coaster.)
to Ireland said the decision, "Does not have to be a After exhausting all of Ohio's dear departed
ns legal and political disaster." presidents, my parents set out to tackle Washington,
ce Ireland also said that the conservatives in D.C. The car ride inspired my brothers and I to
P Congress would "have a field day with this." Her write and perform songs with titles like, "We
he comments capture the unfortunate truth: Any gains Want a REAL Vacation" and "Why Can't You
ve will be at least tempered by large losses. Just Take Us To Disneyland Like Normal Parents?"
The 40th anniversary of Brown vs. Topeka Once in Washington, we covered every single
rt Board of Education has passed. Are we living up artifact in every single branch of the Smithsonian-
a to desegregation, or are we just finding subtle except for one. At the entrance to the modern art
If- ways to segregate? museum we sat down on a bench to enjoy ice
to Washington Post columnist and renownedcivic cream cones. We never made it to the museum that
al. leader Carl T. Rowan moderated a town meeting at day because we were accosted by a large security
rd the University to discuss the anniversary. He guard. It seems we mistook a $2 million dollar
ho remembered late Justice Thurgood Marshall and sculpture for a bench. Thus, I was spared from
al said of him, "He wanted a society where everybody learning about modern art, and to this day I get an
could get the same thing, at the same time, at the uneasy feeling like someone's coming for me
ve same place." Well, "equal" died with "separate." whenever I look at a modern sculpture.
to And Justice Clarence Thomas will never measure Mom didn't want to neglect Michigan history,
at up to Marshall. so we would head up north for Fort Mackinac. The
ho "Equal" did not come alive with the birth of fort is located on an island close to where Michigan
he "separate." separates off into the Upper Peninsula. Ameicaand
So when the University of Maryland finally England fought back and forth over the stronghold
to comes up to bat in the Supreme Court, we already until it was returned to the U.S. after the War of
m know what the score will be. 1-0, another victory 1812. Iwasnever tooclear astowhat allthefighting
an for the white majority. was all about. I think it had something to do with
.st -Adrienne Janney is an LSA junior and Daily who would gain the exclusive right to sell food to
e editorial page editor tourists. InanycasetheU.S.triumphsavedcountless
visitors fromsnacking on tea and crumpets in favor
of gorging on Coca Cola and fudge. Patriotic
American history teachers come from all over to
sample the world famous fudge, and then use it to
I [Mil 1)(16 MIA."Kbribe their children to be quiet on the guided tour of
the fort.
By Wiley Much to my exasperated mother's surprise, it
was this trip that at long last caught my interest.
j . No, my experience had nothing to do with the fort.
,AiN Our hotel room was situated next to a bunch of
SK race car drivers. Among their collection of cars on
the trailer that they were hauling was an exact
- replica of "The General Lee." They invited us to
climb aboard and sit behind the wheel of the real
race car. Mom was right, this was way better than
watching TV. For once, I was grateful that we
hadn't gone to Disneyland like every other family
in America. And best of all, finally I had something
f__ _ _to brag about when it came to talk of vacations.
Non Sequitur
R~r
-t
. ^ t