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ARTS

'How would you expect us to
celebrate it "Who cares, we never
wanted that continent anyway?"'
- Brit thespian and coolest bald captain
since Stubbing, Patrick Stewart, about the
Fourth of July

Lollapalooza '94: A gun aimed at your head

Gumball
of all Lollapalooza towns. See them
at St. Andy's Friday at 6 for $6.
Rust and Inch will also be there.
ghee Hypnotics and Vanilla
rainwreck are at St. Andrew's
tonight for six bucks.
The H.O.R.D.E. Festival is this
Thursday at Pine Knob. Mellow
out before Lolla with The Allman
Brothers, Blues Traveller, Big
Head Todd and the Monsters,
Screamin' Cheetah Wheelies and
Sheryl Crow. Wow.
Amphetamine Reptile Records
rules, and with the presence of their
bands Guzzard and Today Is the
Day at Rick's next Tuesday they

By Ted Watts
So it comes again. This Saturday,
Sunday and Monday and next Friday
find Perry Farrell's alternative festi-
val returning to Pine Knob for four
shows after last year's ill-advised
move to the evil Milan Dragway. So
what should you know for the
Lollapalooza experience?
THE BANDS
In order of appearance, the main
stage shapes up as follows. The Bore-,
doms will take the stage around 2.
This Japanoise group is quite possi-
bly the best band on the bill. Make the
effort to see them, and get their single
"Superoots."
Second is L7, the hard rock- and
the girl-bandforthis year'sfest. Watch
for songs off their new CD "Hungry
for Stink." Mondo good. Third is Nick
Cave and the Bad Seeds. Dark bluesy
rockabilly from a sexy gloomy Brit
and his buds. Yow! Then there's A
Tribe Called Quest. Enh. Next up is
the Breeders. Kim Deal spreads her
warm accepted alternapop. Sure
makes me wanna smile at times. Sixth
is George Clinton and the P-Funk All
Stars. Confidentially, he ain't been
all that funky since about '84. The
most puzzling member of our cast.
Lucky number seven is the Beastie

Boys, who have been cool for about
as long as Clinton's been lacking. I'd
prepare forsome major mayhemwhen
they start playing "Sabotage." They
should be headlining.
Finally there's the Smashing
Pumpkins. If you don't know about
them, it's unlikely that you're going
to the show. Just remember, any band
that sings about sodomy can't be all
bad, no matter how overplayed they
are.
Then there's the second stage.
Guided By Voices, Palace Songs,
Luscious Jackson and The Verve all
lead up to the Flaming Lips, who
happen to have a new EP out. A far
more alternative bill, you'll probably
get far less shit kicked out of you
there than at the main stage.
WHAT YOU'LL NEED
Money. Lots and lots of money.
First there's parking. Then, if you like
any of the bands, you might need to
buy a shirt or two. And of course
money will allow you to buy food and
fluids to keep you alive, including the
sick "exotic" food they plan on pro-
viding. Nothing like a salty smart
drink, right? Remember, the mindfield
probably isn't free, so if you don't
have the cash, you can just sit and
bake in the sun (or drown in the rain)

all day.
Suntan lotion/zinc oxide. It isn't
good to have your skin peel off like
bacon from the pan, leaving a bloody
(soon to be pussy) mess.
A full tank of gas. I ran out last
year because of the heavy traffic. Not
fun.
Small tape recorder. Hide it where
you don't think they'll look (i.e. body
cavity) and you can have a live tape of
your favorite band at Lolla this year!
Blanket and umbrella, if you're on
the lawn. Just pray that they won't
prevent you from taking them in.
Attitude/strength. To keep all the
morons away from you.
Ear plugs. There's no sound qual-
ity, but hey, the rumbling wall of
sound can hurt.
Bug spray. To blind poseur Greek
system types who try to impress you
with how "cool" they are.
SUMMING UP (Subtitled
DAMNED LIKE ME)
Lollapalooza may just be a really
big picnic, but the ants are the size of
wild boars and want to decorate the
walls of their dark caverns with your
alterna-flesh. Sure to be a disaster of
earth-shaking proportions, but you
still are forced to go by our
generation's zeitgeist.

z

---

Wig's at the 'Pig tonight, you prig.
It's sounded that Roundhead will
be there, too.
Art Fair is this week, with all the
ain and sorrow and aliens that it
tails. It's even more evil than
Hash Bash. Everybody run for
cover.

Photo Manipulations by TED WATTS/Daily
Lolla recap: OK, whatever, aarrrgggghhhh!
By Matt Carlson with an emotionally drenched perfor- featured attraction of the day, Nine to be sure, but what had the attention
Ah yes, Lollapalooza - a person mance. This was a pre-MTV Henry Inch Nails, were next. This was of of the audience were the countless
or an event that is unique. Hmmm. Rollins-no humor and enough angst course before headbangers around the bonfires started on the grassy knoll at
Perhaps this year's Lollapalooza will to fill up Kurt Cobain's shotgun bar- world realized that a group of Pine Knob. It was sort of like an
be a unique experience for some of rels. Months before the Nirvana ex- pretensious industrial bores could ancient ritual of savages marching
you that have been in a coma for the plosion, who were we to know that actually "rock," and before Trent around their holy fire and praying to
last few years. Maybe you've been good ol' Hank would become MTV's "Man, I'm Sooo Intense" Reznor sup- their gods - except that it was a
too young or too unhip to grace the Kerouac? The Butthole Surfers came posedly ruined industrial music. What bunch of drunk college kids and they
odd collection of oh-so-counter-cul- on stage next, and Gibby Haynes be- was there to ruin? A bunch of noise were stumbling. And they weren't
ture youth, metalheads, frat boys and gan shooting a blank-filled shotgun at and electronic blips? Reznor and crew praying. Lollapalooza 1991 was the
mall chicks with your presence. the listless audience. The Butthole trashed their keyboards, and it wasn't best of the lot.
So, for you precious few, here is a Whos? Wake me up when Living until later that we heard the rumor that DATELINE 1992
synopsisof the last three Lollapalosers Colour comes on, man. Three years they were fake keyboards planted on Two words: Grunge Explosion.
written by a hopeless cynic hardened later, Gibby and company have their stage to make the band look subver- Three more words: Alternative is Hip.
by three years of exotic food and own Nintendo commercial. sively dangerous. What a joke. Even more words: Lollapalooza had
drink, sun and fun, music and politi- Ice-T and Body Count would be Living Colour didn't play very. lost its cherry. Everyone had to go to
cal activism. Yes! You too can now catching hell for "Cop Killer" a year well and Siouxsie and The Banshees this year's festival thanks to the house"
be real hip and in the know. later, but for the time being we could were limp and boring, which leads us that Nirvana had built. So what we
DATELINE 1991 only chuckle at the mediocre hardcore up to the headliner Jane's Addiction. had was a carbon copy of the first one
The Rollins Band led off the day and really horrible lyrics. The first Jane's performance was entertaining See DISINTEGRATION, Page 2