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May 05, 1993 - Image 9

Resource type:
Michigan Daily Summer Weekly, 1993-05-05

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Wednesday, May 5, 1993 - The Mcigan Daly Summer Wek -9
Every Duranie's nightmare: Simon yelled at me
By AUSON LEVY parents. Warren Cuccurullo is some screaming. You will be thoroughly
Many moons ago, in my early high cheeseball they picked up to take welcomed with open arms." Oh, jeal-
school days, Ishared a bond with mil- Roger's place. Simon's favorite song ousy.
lions of girls around the country. We is "All She Wants Is ..." because he Simon offered an interesting spin
were"SistersoftheDuranies."Itwasn't gets"..."almosteveryday. Ifhecould on what is the hardest thing about
official or anything, but the links were be any smurf Simon would be the one being a rock star. It has really nothing
strong. Our meetings were held at my with all the girlfriends, even though to do with writing, spending days in the
friend Lynelle's house because she he's not quite clear on what a smurf studiooragonizing monthson theroad.
was the only one who got a subscrip- actually is. "The hardest thing is sitting in a limo
tion to Tiger Beat, wallpapered her With this new album, Simon ex- with aglassof champagneinonehand,
room with posters and owned every plains, D2 became comfortable with a cigar, and trying to get the bra off
John Taylor pin known to man, not to what they are. He said, "With 'Notori- some pretty girl while adjusting the
mentionseveralpanamahats.Mymom ous,' we were very much trying to be stereo." How charming.
just redid my room the year before, so Black. With 'Liberty' we were trying Simon also seemed appalled that
Iwasn'tallowedtohangposters.Damn. tobe grown up." Simon trashed fellow "Flock of Seagulls" is still around and
So, every day, we would trek to the bands like U2 and Depeche Mode. was very sympathetic upon learning
altarthatwasherbedroom,tradememo- "Basically we're a party band. We're that their lead singer is going "tragi-
rabilia and gush over Duran Duran. associatedwith good timesandparties. cally bald." But, he offers a sure-fire
Like everyone else, there was no We definitely are nota 'this is the truth cure. "I've heard that plenty of blow
doubt that one day Itwould be the bride and it stinks' band. We try to have fun jobs is a pretty good cure for baldness.
ofJohnTaylor.Iwasconvinced.How- andremainoptimistic,evenwhenwe're At least that's what I tell al my fans." Simon in the glory days of D2. Nice mushroom cap, babe.
ever, I wasn't picky. If one of the on a serious subject like 'Notorious' I was third from the end, and things
others,especially Simon,had proposed, and 'Ordinary World.' There's always started well enough. He said, "Hi, our leather came from different cows, face." Yes, be yelled it. Loud.
I wouldhave gladly accepted. Perhaps a thread of 'we will survive."' Alison." Then I told him how I'd been actually. Different types of cow. I'm But. through my tears I found that
I would suggest moving to Utah, so I Speaking of surviving, someone waiting the whole time. "You're a sure some of it was English cow the hair trauma wasn't the only thing
could marry one or two of the others. tactfully handled the question about braver man than t, Gunga Din," he though." Ooohky. Simon didn't like about that era. "I
When Simon married supermodel what happened to their old fans and if replied. Swoon. I thought I'd dazzle Next question. (Here's where the looked at that video recently and it's
Yasmin, we were devastated. How itbotheredthemthatpeopledon'tcome himwithmynextquestionbecause I'd whole affair went sour.) "Simon, we actually suchacringe seeing yourself
couldhemarryherinsteadof us? Sure, running and screaming anymore. "I noticed he was given a thanks in the noticed thatNick'shairis getting back do those things. Just the way I was
my modeling career hadn't taken off think most of our fans have grown up credits of Allison Anders' film, "Gas, to the 'Planet Earth' days. Are you dancing. Itwas Eddie Murphy's imita-
yet, but all I really lacked was eleven with the band and evolved with the Food, Lodging." In the film, his wife trying to send some kind of retro-mes- tion of how all white people dance."
inches of leg, a waist, cheekbones and sound ... I do seem to notice though, Yasmin played Spanish screen star, sage with that?" "OOOOH, don't ever Good thing I have this whole inter-
a good diet plan -buthey, there was that a lot more of our audiences wear Elvia Rivera. He said, "I was given a saythat.DON'TEVER,EVER,EVER view on tape, because after Simon
still time. My sisters went into action glasses." At an acoustic concert in Los credit for allowing my wife to be Elvi SAY THAT AGAIN!!! He'd get the slammed me I don't remember a thing
beforeanyoftheotherDuransters could Angeles, over Christmas, it was alleg- Rivera, actually.Or maybe speaking to scissors out immediately, my God, the except for the overwhelming sensation
wed (and perhaps Simon would get a edly (re: according to Simon) obvious Allison (the director) on the phone and 'Planet Earth'days. We called that the of bad karma vibes flowing through
divorce). We needed a plan. So, we that there still exists a strong connec- saying 'I'm sure she'll do something mushroomcap.I waslooking upallthe the phone. I just hung up. The inter-
added seduction strategy to our daily tion between the band and their fans. for you."' What a kind, sensitive hus- time and you know why? Ithad to get view, my dream, and my life were
worship. The big question was "What Simon said, "They loved us, they band he is. that bloody awful bit of hair out of my over.
would you say to them if you met them fucking wantedus,man. Itiwas fucking Then we moved on to the question
and what would they think of you?" amazing. We have a place in their of his preference for leather pants vs.
Well, recently I was able to talk to hearts." Talking about the event was a vinyl ones as seen on his Jay Len
Simon during an interview for Duran's little too sentimental for Simon. "I'm appearance. "Oh, it was definitely real The Office of Minority Affairs
newestCD, "DuranDuran."Itnowhad getting misty. In fact, it's getting so leather. I'm sorry but vinyl never gets
my chance. misty in here I'm going to have to the same kind of aroma when you've is looking for energetic, reliable, and highly
But I have one disgraceful secret change my underpants." been wearing it for three months with- motivated students for its:
that will mark me for life because, Simon also admitted to missing outwashing it." Butit'snotlikeD2has
during theinterview, SIMONLEBON crazed fans like myself, "I do miss it a bonding day where they all go out, 1993 King/ChaivezParks Career
YELLED AT ME!! tremendously," he told some chick from shop for leather pants together and Exploration Sunnner Institutes Program
I would like to say that we met in Colorado. "If you ever see me in the then share a light lunch. No way. It's
some smokey bistro in New York, but streets please come running and more of a lone-wolf deal. "I think all Mid-June through Mid-August
we didn't, so I can't. This was your
standard press conference interview. **Program Description: Students hired will supervise high
So, I had three minutes to charm good : W Q oA'tTTU..W I e
ole Sy into submission. Then, via my . W e D on't i ic o e E se : school students from southeast Michigan who reside on
fantasy, he was supposed to call the "*_ I campus for one week visits. during which tie these 10th and
publicftyagentandgetmyhomephone * Hurry! Call * 11th graders will attend workshops, presentations. mini-
number. I don'tknow why, but tings * HToday For A * lectures. held tries. etc. The emphasis is m the stent
didn't work out the wayI planned. : Great Deal On Ann Arbor'S *, exploration of his or her career interest.
The nice thing about the press con- .
ference interview is that I don't know " Best Campus ApartmentsCmpensation: nrlv rates-(5.80 -680) and Universt
much about music and I hadn't heard*rmadrrut_ thpo m
theirnewCD,sotheknowledgegained .- - - - - -Iatdboard for duratioa of the I ogram
from listening to the 20other Dranies . LEA S N G N O*
mannng heponewasquitab~us:" " Selection Process: Completed application and personal
Onmyend,fellowDailystafferSa : I FOR SUM M ER Istateent of intrst. Iividal interview prscess full
Weidman helped me think of apropos * participation i training sessions is repured.
questionswhlelchuggedthroughend A N D FALL.
less cans of Diet Coke. Then, when itA N D FA LL. .pplications and jos descriptin now avadable at:
was time to run to the restroom, she . (313)761-8000*Office of inrity affairs 1042 Fleming Building.
generouslyofferedtowatonthephone, * ocated at a O ncurch1stget
just in case it was myturn to talk to "" Deadline for applications is Friday, May 7, 1993.
Simon.Nothanks.Well, here it goes, a *
generalhodgepodge ofinformation on * RIM E For additional Information, please contact:
D2in a random, nonsequential way. (313) 761-8000 Felton Rogers at 936-1055.
The pictures on the cover of their *;Non-discriminatory affirmative action employer.
new CD are wedding pictures of their :" iS It00E a *H0USa.0G INC * ______
" .e.. 0 00 0 0 00 0 0 0 0 00 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 - _-.

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