SPORTS
Page 8 Thursday, July 25, 1985

4

The Michigan Daily

In the name of Don Canham .. .
THE SPORTING VIEWS . . .where's the sports?

By DAVE ARETHA myself, still huffing and puffing like For God's sake, they were selling
I jumped from my bed yesterday some big, bad wolf. "There's a everything from handmade paper to
morning, bubbling with glee. spagellion and two square miles of art elk bark. From copper spider webs to
"THE ART FAIR'S HERE! THE around here and none of it is sports." Apple Gargoyles From rocking
ART FAIR'S HERE!" I screamed.s
I was psyched. The Art Fair was in
town and it was time for this sports
writer to pick up some super-nifty
sports art.
Maybe a watercolor portrait of Pete'
Rose diving into third base. Or a
replica doll of Babe Ruth swinging for =
the fences. Or perhaps a painting of
Wsyne Gretzy sksting through two
defenders. Wow, that would be sweet.
The first thing I did yesterday was 2
head for the Art Fair information
booth.
I said: "Excuse me, Miss Infor-
mation Person. Where can I find some
really mean, super-keen sports art?"
She said: "I don't think there's anyr
here. I doubt you'll find anything."
I said: "WHAT! THERE MUST BE'
A SCILLION AND ONE x
EXHIBITERS HERE! YOU MEAN:
TO TELL ME NOT ONE OF THEM IS
SELLING SPORTS ART? IN THE
NAME OF DON CANHAM,
WHERE'S THE.SPORTS? p
She shrugged her shoulder. I turnedX
and left ina huff.
"I can't believe it," I grumbled to
PUT US TO THE
TEST!
T !Daily Photo by KATE O LEARY
No one can believe it. An art fair without sports? Ridiculous.
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chairs to rocks. From Hum-A-Zoos to Art Fair and all he gets is tons of ,
Whicky Whacky Whatzits. But the people looking at ceramics.
only thing that even resembled a spor- IN THE NAME OF HOWARD
ts artifact was a stuffed wolverine CUNNINGHAM, WHERE'S THE
sold on South University. SPORTS?
Incredible. I get all geared up for On South University, dozens of
the Art Fair and all I get is Waldo the organizations set up booths to
Wolverine. promote their cause. Every group
IN THE NAME OF ERMA FROM imaginable was there. Campaign
THE WENDY'S COMMERCIAL, Against Weapons in Space. Weight
WHERE'S THE SPORTS? Control. Planned Parenthood. Sup-
I wasn't the only disgruntled fair- port Perry Nursery School. U.S. Out
goer. Two kids in Michigan t-shirts of El Salvador. U.S. out of Nicaragua.
were mighty perturbed. One kid was U.S. out of South Dakota. Every 4
so steamed, he looked like a copper organization was represented.
kettle on high boil. The other Exceptsports.
youngster looked like Happy Day's
Howard Cunningham after wife IN THE NAME OF WILLIE HER-
Marion just burned the pot roast. NANDEZ, iLDONDE ESTAN LOS
"It's stupid," the kettle kid said DEPORTES?
about the sportsless fair. "They I'm upset. I'm going to start a
should have t-shirts and doll dudes of petition. This is the worst thing to
Dale Murphy and Steve Yzerman." happen in the wide world of sports
Added the little Mr. C: "There's since that ski-jumper wiped out on
tons of people here and all they do is ABC's Wide World of Sports.
look at ceramics." IN THE NAME OF THAT SKI-
Poor kid. Gets all geared up for the JUMPER, WHERE'S THE SPORTS?
Owners force first
mnove on the players
NEW YORK (UPI) - Major league deadline. Like Tuesday, the
baseball owners have an offer ready discussion at the 22-hour session was
to make on pension contributions but of several smaller non-economic
will not put it on the table until the issues.
players make concessions to slow
down salary increases, the owners' Donald Fehr, acting executive
chief negotiator saidyesterday. director for the Major League
The pension plan is one of the issues baseball Players Association, said the
stalling contract talks with the negotiators hope to finish dealing with
Negotiators for the players ad the non-critical issues, such as licen-
owners met for a third day in a row - sing and scheduling, in another
a bargaining pace which has quickened meeting today and then move on to
since the players set an Aug. 6 strike the major economic problems.
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