4 Opinion Page 6 Tuesday, August 10, 1982 The Michigan Daily I The Michigan Daily Vol. XCII, No. 58-S Ninety-two Years of Editorial Freedom Edited and managed by students at the University of Michigan An oil trickle IN HIS ASSAULT on the federal government to cut regulation and spending, President Reagan has sprung upon a likely candidate for extermination, the Department of Energy. Af- ter all the world is in the midst of an oil glut-why worry about energy supplies? On the surface that point seems arguable, but what happens when the glut dries up? The question, of course, is a complex one. The administration's answer, however, is charac- teristically simple: Leave things to the free market. The fact of the matter is, however, that the oil market has never been free, but has always been a hostage of subsidies, price con- trols, and tax breaks. What the energy department does now, when some doubt the need for it, is coordinate energy supplies and plan for the next energy crisis that will surely engulf the world before the decade ends. Under the president's plan to shift some of the department's duties to the commerce depar- tment, the nation would have a weak guiding arm to plan for and direct it through such a crisis. And recent disclosures by the General Accounting Office show that the merger of the two departments would actually save the government little money. President Reagan seems to be telling us that the energy problem has gone away. To pun- ctuate his assertion, the president not only wan- ts to scrap the Department of Energy, but has already abandoned the conservation measures for federal buildings adopted by the Carter ad- ministration. The energy problem has not and will not go away until a miracle substitute is found for fossil fuels. Until that time, the nation needs an effective planning agency, lest the oil glut con- struct into a trickle and catch the nation un- prepared-again. a1EReSI DNSi cA;CWTi' R WtOP l tiri:etLOWER TAERA WOPUV lt PUBUCAN SO VOTEMC xtl Cgg - BAttg US OR "Me UOO0l6MtC W WE 9W OK"..S. GUT S NR4{I~JTE D IGHER TAXES,'WE HVEN'T MES OD'EU I W JUST D ONG hit %N r" ,-PI ... - - -.4 rn Z ~UlT )A~TJ~ 7 -_'f Ii - ~ ~ - ~ _ 4 4 M Da ter I in he said goo lasi " 'F Letters and replies that are Not Funny dy editor sat in his office at the thought I might be getting a little You just don't appreciate ily, wearing an uncharac- stale, but I see I have nothing to life's cozy little ironies, Ron. istic grin. "what's so funny?" worry about. It's nice to know You probably thought testing quired. where the competition is, but a nuclear device on the an- Love your column this week," nicer to know where it isn't. niversary of the atomic bom- chuckled. Sincerely, hYou haven't seen it yet," I Art Buchwald bing of Hiroshima last Friday d. "How do you know it's any I can't understand how this was Not Funny. I'll bet you d?"one got to me Artie. You. thought the acquittal of the It couldn't be bad. It's your must have misaddressed the man that tried to murder you t one." on the grounds of insanity was That's Not Funny!" I bawled. envelope. I'lljust forward it to o Not any more," he agreed, Mike Royko. Not Funny, too, unless you e're going out of production realize that he got a hung jury of his peers. You just don't see Dear sir, the humor in things like that. I'm sorry to hear that you won't But I do-it keeps me from Not Funny be in the Daily anymore. You screaming. 4 I 4 By D.B Ohrist until September. So clean out your desk." "But I don't have a desk," I protested. "Get one," he advised, "and clean it out." So, while thumbing through my hate mai-er, fan letters, I came across the following correspon- dances: Dear sir, Congratulations on your column. It was a welcome ad- dition to the Daily. And even greater congratulations on graduating. It will be a welcome substraction from the University. Sincerely, Harold Shapiro You have my 100 percent heart-felt thanks, Hal-85 percent for your letter and 15 percent that I don't have to pay tuition next year. Dear sir, I've read your work with great interest, not to say relief. I really gave Tu.sday a reason for existence. I think you are a great writer, and with your talent you'll go far. Sincerely, A fan P.S. Your laundry's ready. Thanks, Mom. Don't hold dinner, I'll be home late. Dear sir, Yasir Arafat and I finally found something we could agree on. we both think you stink. we also think with your talent you'll go far. And we wish you'd leave now. Sincerely, Menachem Begin Gee, I like you, too. I've done my best to offend everybody equally. It's my contribution to world peace. Dear sir, I don't get it. Nancy explained all the punch lines to me, and I still don't get it. But you've done your job. I thought you were very Not Funny-consistently Not Funny, thoroughly Not Funny, Not Funny week after week. Sincerely, Ronald Reagan Dear sir, I tried. I really did. But I just couldn't maintain any more. I don't know why things always went wrong. Can I borrow your hankie? Sincerely, Al Haig Take another valium, Al, and I'll explain it to you. See, it's the silly season. Summer is traditionally the time of year when every lunatic on earth, elected or otherwise, comes out to play. It may be the heat, may be the humidity. And maybe it's just the winds. Summer is a good season for news-for wars and bombings and sundry disasters. Nobody knows why. It's in the winds. Nobody controls it, and nobody admits it's out of con- trol. And that's Not Funny. Not funny at all. Letters and columns represent the opinions of the individual author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the at- titudes or beliefs of the Daily. 4 4 C> -- o OLD AN12 -rwg_ EA I 4