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July 18, 1981 - Image 6

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Michigan Daily, 1981-07-18

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Opinion

Page 6

Saturday, July 18, 1981

The Michigan Daily

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The Michigan Daily
Vol. XCI, No. 43-S
Ninety Years of Editorial Freedom
Edited and managed by students
at the University of Michigan
Roll up your
sleeves leaders
LIKE THE COMMUNIST Party Congress
now taking place in Poland, next week's
Ottawa summit-involving the world's seven
leading industrialized nations-must be short
on form, and long on substance. As in Poland,
flag waving and champagne toasts can make
good headlines, but the West also faces crucial
problems that must be thoroughly addressed.
Beset by domestic preoccupations of their
own, the leaders coming to Ottawa, most of
whom will be experiencing their first go of top-
level summitry, will be closely scrutinized by
their respective citizens. The assortment of
critical issues faced independently and collec-
tively by these leaders makes the expectations
for the upcoming conference remarkably
high.
If the summit were to cover just economic
issues, it could easily last until Labor Day.
The wrangling over intensifying trade and
currency restrictions will probably fill much
of the leaders' precious time, and it is im-
perative that they regain the momentum that
made the Tokyo Round (1973-1979) a priceless
economic forum.
Yet military matters cannot simply be
ignored. More than this country's high interest
rates, its battered relationship with the Soviet
Union will need to be reviewed in meticulous
detail. Our West European and other NATO
allies, having watched Haig and company bait
the Reds on a daily basis, are understandably
concerned for their own security. Although the
alliance officially supports the American calls
for "rearmament," members have questioned
the emotional rhetoric of our leaders, and
especially their dubious cries of a Communist
conspiracy in Latin America. In fact, many
leaders have questioned the very existence of
a cohesive Reagan administration foreign
policy, beyond anti-Soviet tough talk.
If the summit were to confine itself to
military issues, the leaders could easily con-
tinue substantive talks into the Christmas
season.
Indeed;there is an immense agenda waiting
at the Chateau Montebello, and all the
representatives had best avoid the fan-
fare-which can be quite alluring at such
photogenic affairs.
For President Reagan, the primary goal of
this conference should be to establish that the
United States is sincerely responsive to the
needs of its allies. If this impression is not
conveyed, overall progress will be impossible,
and they might as well pass out the flags and
champagne.

The Bachelorhood B.A.

The University would like to
announce the establishment of a
new college, which ad-
ministration leaders promise will
revitalize our recession-plagued
campus.
The School of Bachelorhood-to
be in operation by 1983, according
to University President Harold
Shapiro-will offer students a
"tangible introduction to the
challenges of being a grown-up."
For Bachelors of Bachelorhood,
the president warned, the going
will be tough, the curriculum
rigorous.
"The attrition rate is
outrageous in most traditional
schools of bachelorhood,"
Shapiro said, "Some students
graduate with little trouble, while
many others drop out-either
succumbing to marriage, or
locating in dormitories and boar-
ding houses."
"WE FIGURED that since we
eliminated geography, we needed
something new to maintain our
motto of '17 Schools and Colleges
to Serve You,' " said Billy Frye,
the University's vice-president
for academic affairs. "The
establishment of our
bachelorhood school, which
should be smaller, but better than
the obsolete geography college, is
consistent with our institution's
tradition of constant change and
adaptation."

By Steve Hook
Courses offered by the depar-
tment tentatively will include
"Grocery Shopping: For
Economy's Sake," "An Over-
view of Laundry Techniques,"
"Comparative Approaches to In-
terior Decoration," and "Con-
temporary Nightclub Behavior."
(This final course, according to
administration sources, will
require the completion of an in-
troductory psychology course
before students can enroll.)
While upper-level classes will
be formally announced later-af-
ter a School of Bachelorhood
faculty has been selected-some
offerings being discussed
frequently include "The
Chemistry of Car Wax," "Ad-
vanced Bartending," and a cour-
se popular on other campuses,
"Warm Colors or Cool Colors,
Stripes or Plaids: A Guide to
Fashion."
MARTY BISTRO, a Bachelor
of Bachelorhood from Arizona
State University, said his ex-
perience was "beneficial, eye-
opening, and incredibly nifty."
He cited ASU's "outstanding
faculty of bachelors and
bachelorettes-'folks who can
really throw together a cheese
omelette."
The program, one of the oldest

in the country, now enrolls 78
percent of the ASU student
population.
Other successful American
bachelorhood institutions include
Tulane University (New
Orleans), The University of
Wisconsin (Madison), and Boston
University (Beantown). -
According to Frye, some cour-
ses will be offered in a new
building, to be called "The
Modern Bachelorhood Building,"
(see illustration, below) while
many others will be taught "in
the field" (shopping centers,
nightclubs, et. al.).
The announcement, not sur-
prisingly, has brought with it a
barrage of inquiries from
prominent bachelors in the
United - States and abroad.
University officials say they
foresee no difficulties in finding a
suitable faculty. "The assor-
tment of top-notch bachelors
around today is enormous," Frye
asserted.
And students? "No problems
there, either," said Frye, "With
the marriage rate plummeting
and the divorce rate
skyrocketing, there are more
prospective students out there
than there are programs to in-
struct them."
Steve Hook is the Daily's
Opinion Page editor.

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Artist's rendering of Modern Bachelorhood Building
LETTERS TO THE DAILY:
Taiwan articles well done

To the Daily:
My compliments to the in-
vestigative reporting in John
Adam's series of articles on the
"Taiwanese Mystery."
The Daily has reported
allegations that the Free China
Student Association might in-
clude members who are agents
for the Taiwanese government.
They are suspected of sup-
pressing dissident behavior
amongst the Taiwanese students
in the United States. If such
allegations are valid, only one or
two members of the FCSA are
secretly participating in such a

scheme.
One important issue, which is
underemphasized by the Daily
however, is the undoubted in-
tegrity and innocence of the
majority of the approximately
200 members of the Free China
Student Association. Their
three year record as an MSA-
recognized student organization
is one of dedication to an East-
West understanding. The group
provides an annual display of
Chinese culture and heritage for
the entire community.
The allegations against the
FCSA constitute a newsworthy

event. The Daily is responsible to
those Taiwanese students who
fear governmental agents and
who fear a similar fate as Car-
negia Mellow University
Assistant Professor Chen Wen-
Chen. The Daily is also respon-
sible however to the Free China
Student Association students who
may unjustly meet suspicion and
prejudice because of the
allegations against their group.
Let's have a little compassion
and let's not jump the gun.
-Amy Hartmann
vice-President
Michigan Student Assembly

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