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Opinon
Page 8 Friday, May 22, 1981-The Michigan Daily The Michigan Daily

T he Michigan Daily
Vol. XCI, No. 13-S
Ninety Years of Editorial Freedom
Edited and managed by students
at the University of Michigan
Rich and poor
AND YOU THOUGHT any kid in America
could grow up to be president.
The United States Senate has released its an-
nual financial disclosure statement, reporting
the estimated wealth of each of its members.
Though it is impossible to determine from the
report precisely the net worth of any senator, it
is estimated that some 30 members own assets
over 1 million dollars, and that half those 30 are
millionaires many times over.
Two senators apparently vie for top tycoon
honors, with John Heinz of Pennsylvania pitting
his pickle and ketchup empire against
Missouri's John Danforth and his Ralston-
Purina combine. Trailing only slightly is
Senator Claiborne Pell, who is rumored to own
about half of Rhode Island.
Things are even more striking at the opposite
end of the ladder. Out of 100 senators, only five
are apparently. living strictly on. their senate
salaries-$60,662.
It's a slightly disillusioning, though hardly
surprising state of affairs. It would be nice to
believe most of our elected officials subsist as
elected officials-living symbols of that good
old American upward mobility.
Alas, our economic facts of life do not dictate
such egalitarianism. Running for political of-
fice was never cheap to begin with; today's
complicating factors of inflation and television
expense negates the possibility entirely for
most Americans.
This economic imbalance gives chronic rise
to the suspicion that our elective offices are
largely playthings of the rich-of those who
have no genuine personal stake in many
decisions involving the futures of the rest of us.
Although the wealthy may in fact be no less
dedicated to their poliltical jobs than the un-
wealthy, it would be nice if those aspiring can-
didates of modest means could somehow get an
equal chance to realize their dreams.
TOWE PIOKIO
m "
,R .n,'"'

Joining the blue- bloods

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By Anne Sharp
Ahh, the Jet Age - you can't
beat it.
Just one little phone call to Nor-
thwest Orient, and I escaped Ann
Arbor to glamorous, teeming
Boston, where Art and Culture
thrive, where there would be no
pimply androids to jeer at me for
reading Kafka instead of ALGOW
manuals and Corporate-Level
Backstabbing: 12 Easy Steps.
Soon I found myself in a brown-
stone apartment near Boston
University, happily drunk, posing
au naturelle with a bottle of
Naragansett in my hand, while
my roommate Oliver, also totally
smashed and stark naked, sket-
ched busily on the back of a pizza
carton. "Turn a little to the left,
darin'," said Oliver, glancing in-
tently at me while his pen skritch-
skritched away on the cardboard.
"I want to catch the glint of the
light on that beer bottle." !
"Did you catch that headline in
the Globe today?" I asked.
" 'Nab Coed in Crash-Pad
Sodomy Spree'?"
"YEAH, WELL, all the papers
in this town are likethat," replied
Oliver, pausing momentarily to
tap his cigarette ash into an em-
pty sardine can by the bed.
"Yellow dog journalism is the
rule of the day . .. it takes
somethinglike that to getthe
subway strikes off the front
page."
"Yeah, boring stuff like that," I
remarked, "and like the fact that
they're jacking up the subway
fares and half the firemen and
police are getting laid off. I don't
understand it. I mean, business is
booming out here, with all the
computer plants and lobster
fisheries'.What's the problem in
Boston?"
Oliver stopped again to open a
fresh Naragansett. "My dear,"
he murmured, "it's Kevin
White."
"The mayor?"
"Kevin White is the Boss
Tweed of 20th century New
England. You've heard the
phrase, 'From Camelot to
Cleveland' - that's what's hap-
pened to Boston under that
dissolute monster. You've heard
about Proposition 21/, that Tisch-
style tax-cut bill they have out
here? Proposition 21/ was passed
to offset City Hall spending on
cocaine and limousines."
"Eeek," Isaid.
"There. Got it. You can relax
now. Let's try something dif-
ferent. You still got that black
garter belt?"
"No. I gave it away last fall."
"Hmm. How about a pair of
those adorable little white cotton
panties, then?" I obliged.
"How about a contraposto?" I
asked, shifting my weight. "Sort
of like Michaelangelo's David."
"Fine, fine. By the way, you
still have your heart set on being

a stripper in the Combat zone?"
"Well, I don't know. Penelope
almost had me talked into it, and
it sounded great: $70 a night just
for dancing to Donna Summer
singles . . . but then my en-
thusiasm kind of fell flat.-
"Jesus, that place is
FRIGHTENING! It's like one
solid block of sleaze, about as
erotic as a used tampon. They
had all these hookers that looked
so much like hookers that it was
like being at a costume ball, and
all these ugly old Celtics fans out
to get their rocks off; all those
vulgar neon signs and theater

sed we were running out.
Remember last Thursday night
at 12:30, when we sat on the steps
of Macy's Liquor Mart and
cried?"
"All this," I said, "in a town
where the local supermarket
chain is called Purity Supreme."
"The legacy of our austere
founding fathers," quipped
Oliver, setting down his pen with
a blissful sigh. "Doesn't all this
sickly, inbred, blue-blooded New
England decadence make you

I

I

lobbies with loudspeakers
playing tapes of moaning
women."
"Bah. Just hold that pose, I'm
almost finished."
"And I've noticed something.
about this neighborhood. You
know you can't buy beer here on
Sundays? Or after 11 at night?"
"NO, HADN'T noticed. I
thought they just closed the party
stores here every time they sen-

long for our own rosy-cheeked
Ann Arbor?"
"No," Isaid.
A recent escapee from the
Daily, Anne Sharp is slowly
degenerating in Boston. She
promises to rise above the
sludge and provide us with a
weekly column.

I

Dadily exaggerates

To the Daily:
Though I understand your need
to collect information and
develop a story that might help
you to sell newspapers, I do not
believe the information you
presented about Health Service
and the alleged water "con-
tamination" issue was presented
very accurately or fairly.
Here are the facts that I gave
your reporter during our recent
telephone conversations:
i. The hot water line in the lab
contained some flocculated iron
bacteria which looked rather
unusual, but which are com-
monly found in older water sup-
ply systems such as we have.
Although an aesthetic nuisance,
they are not a hazard to health.
2. Prior to making a positive
determination on what was found
in the water from the lab, and
before we have conclusive
evidence that the situation was
localized in the hot water line to
the lab, we decided to prohibit
drinking from all the fountains

(which are supplied by cold
water lines), as a precautionary
measure only.
3. Coliform and standard plate
counts taken at multiple sites
around the building, including the
lab, have been negative or within
acceptable limits.
4. The water has not been con-
taminated through a cross-
connection between the drinking
water and the waste water. The
water has been and continues to
be safe to drink.
Any innuendoes to suggest that
the water may be unsafe to drink
or "contaminated," or that the
cause of the initial concern has
yet to be determined, are simply
a misrepresentation of the facts.
I believe you're trying to make
Niagara Falls out of the
laboratory sink.
-Dana M. Mills, MPH
Assistant Director,
Patient and Staff
Support Services
May15

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