The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com

Fall 2014 -5D

The Michigan Daily - michigandailycom Fall 2014 - SD

S3
From Page 1D
cent lives, so she got involved.
Karmeisool's journey with sex-
ual heath started at The Rain-
bow Connection, Michigan's
version of the Make-A-Wish
Foundation, where she worked
with AIDS-infected adoles-
cents. Eventually, with a little
help from her proud and phil-
anthropic parents, Karmeisool
opened S3.
Though the sale of adult toys
and products are Karmeisool's
means of stayingin business, she
is adamant that a commitment to
promoting sexual health comes
first. In fact, under especially
difficult circumstances she has
gone as far as giving away con-
doms and products to people
who could not afford them. She
even went back for her Masters
in Public Health after opening
S3 to reinforce her commitment
to the store's mission, which was
always to provide "consistent
and correct information about
sexual health, but do it in a way
that was open, normalizing sex,
reducing stigma and making
the store available to all people
regardless of age, race, sexual
orientation, economic standing,
religious values." It's crucial to
Karmeisool that customers at S3
can ask any employee personal
questions without feeling judg-
ment, and get information that
will improve their lives.
To ensure that this approach
to customer service stays con-
sistent, S3's hiring process is
extremely rigorous and selec-
tive. According to Karmeisool,
each applicant must have pre-
vious experience with sexual
health and education before
they are even considered for
a position. Also, because the
store's employees are a close-
knit team, each applicant must
be interviewed and approved
by everyone who works there.
If any worker has a bad feeling
about an applicant like if they
hesitated on the issues of trans-
gendered people, or other non-
normative lifestyles - they're

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e team has to be certain a large range of services like S3
animous. does.
e someone proves that In 2010, Safe Sex Store added
lave the right soul and on-site HIV testing to its list of
e for the job, they have services. Each Thursday from
hrough a lengthy training 2-8pm, a test counselor from
s. This includes attending HIV/AIDS Resource Center
on sexually transmitted (HARC) conducts this free, con-
es, which are adminis- fidential and even anonymous
by the state of Michigan testing in the store's private
id for with the store's bud- back room. All it takes is a finger
ey also undergo intensive prick, 15 minutes of your time,
g on every product in the and courage to get through the
Billy, a member of Sex- door.
m who started working As to be expected, 83 does
n August, said he had to their best to take the edge off of
ize the details of all the the otherwise nerve-wracking
andise, from the lubri- and clinical test. You can wait
chemicals to the sizing for your results by browsing the
pes of condoms. store's collection of vibrators,
ere are five types of con- chatting with one of their char-
by the way," Billy said ismatic employees, chowing
down on an Insomnia Cookie, or
getting emotional support from
Jake, the therapy dog - a golden
3 is a leader retriever/Labrador mix who
can be found lounging in the
iprom oting sun by the front entrance.
Mike Wallace, S3's test coun-
:ual health in selor from HARC, said the most
important asset to this test site
community is its many other functions.
Someone could be coming in
on a Thursday for a variety of
reasons, from picking up a Val-
smile, showing off the entine's Day gift to replenishing
edge he worked hard to their supply of Trojan condoms.
e. Those who walk into S3 for an
meisool explained that HIV test are hardly noticed by
rocess is so intensive the outside world because the
e Safe Sex Store has more store doesn't have the same stig-
sibility to its guests than ma that may come with entering
merchandise-moving a clinic.
sses. If a salesperson at When I joked about the HIV-
ll convinces someone to testing being a "covert opera-
ideous shirt, for example, tion," Wallace replied, "Yes,
orst-case scenario would it's covert. But it's no back door
rning the atrocity or cut- operation." And he's right. The
our loses. But at S3, "if store is a fun cover for those
ody makes a bad decision being tested, but it is also ele-
'ing something, or they gantly professional and supplies
ncorrectly and something support for issues I never would
as, that could harm their have imagined.
aid Karmeisool. "It could While we talked in S3's small,
heir path and completely clean storage room, Karmeisool
who they are." This is showed me a hand vibrator that
this rare type of business fits onto the wrist and tips of the
safety and good informa- fingers. Usually, this product is
me before sales, having a used to increase sexual arousal,
formed staff is extremely but apparently there's more to it
ant. This may be espe- than that.
rue for a place that offers "We have actually sold that to

a customer whose daughter has is Alexandria Champagne, who
cerebral palsy," she told me, tap- recently got her Masters in
ping on the box with a picture of Social Work from the University
a woman's beautiful hand draped where she specialized in sexual
in white wires. "It's an awesome and domestic violence counsel-
way to get vibration to the mus- ing. As can be expected from the
cles to try to get them to com- versatile employees at S3, Cham-
municate with the nerves and do pagne's knowledge is also multi-
massage therapy." faceted. Her expertise extends
S3 also has women coming beyond abuse and into the world
in for a variety of gynecologi- of playful bondage. She is even
cal issues. Brittany Batell, the releasing a book this March
store manager who was recently called "Knotty Time! A BDSM
accepted into a dual masters Safety Guide, " which will help
program with the Universi- newbies explore kink in a fun
ty's School of Social Work and and secure way.
School of Public Health, told However, despite the good that
me more about the health side disseminating all of this sexual
of the business. "We'll get refer- health information does, its taboo
rals from a lot of gynecologists, and sensitive undertones can
OBGYNs and sex therapists in come with a set of social risks for
those who work at S3.
Batell and Billy mentioned
that every once in a while disre-
W ho said don't spectful people come in asking
inappropriately personal- ques-
mix business tions about what the employees
use on their own time - inebri-
with pleasure? ated sports enthusiasts wander-
ing into the store on game day
are the most likely culprits.
Billysaidthat asking aggressive
the community," she said, her questions about his own experi-
eyes shining with intelligence ence with toys and condoms goes
and pride. "Women come in here beyond unprofessional. It is actu-
because they have sexual pain ally a form of sexual harassment,
so we can hook them up with a and in the past he has reminded
better lubricant and a vaginal hecklers that he could report
dilator set." their behavior to the authorities
Both Batell and Karmeisool if they pushed their luck too far.
explained that it can be hard Batell added that some people just
for women to tell their doctors don't immediately see that work-
about their chronic sexual pain. ing in the Safe Sex Store does not
For one, doctors often only have make the employee's sex lives up
about 15 minutes on average to for discussion.
spend with each patient, so if "I can give you the specs on
someone is shy about discussing anything in here," she said, "but
their sex life, it can be difficult (those questions are) personal."
to cut to the chase. Secondly, it Karmeisool sometimes runs
isn't easy to physically point to into similar trouble when she's
a problem's exact source. This is in social settings, like dinner
why S3 sells informational books parties where people are pro-
such as Why Sex Hurts, which grammed to shake a stranger's
has the most comprehensive hand and instantly ask, "So,
drawing of female genitalia I've what do you do?" It's not that
ever seen, along with tips and Karmeisool is embarrassed
exercises for over-coming pain. about her profession; on the con-
The Safe Sex Store even has trary, S3 seems to be her dream
a female social worker on staff turned into a reality. It's just
to help field questions about difficult for the average person
sexual issues that may not be to see past the sex swings and
physical in nature. This woman latex at the front of her business

and into the sexual activism and
support she performs on a daily
basis.
"You're always, always,
always having to defend your-
self, which is crap," she said with
a nervous laugh. "You know? It
really is crap because sex is a
part of who we are. We're all
sexual beings."
However, Karmeisool said
that she doesn't let these skep-
tics get in the way of her mission
to help others with their inti-
mate issues. At the same cock-
tail party, once handshakes are
in the past and a few glasses of
wine have been poured, near-
strangers will often ask her
questions about their sex lives.
They wonder how to combat
their dryness and chronically
half-mast members; how to get
their husbands to touch them in
the spots that make them purr.
And Karmeisool answers them
- willingly, patiently and with-
out judgment.
And this commitment is really
what it comes down to - S3 is
brave about sex so that we can
benefit from their knowledge
and be comfortable solving seri-
ous sexual problems that would
feel unmentionable in any other
space. These passionate sex edu-
cators don't let micro-aggres-
sions or cocktail party judgment
stop them from disseminating
the clear and crucial informa-
tion that could save people pain,
and even save some lives.
They will help anyone, no
matter their gender identity,
race, sexual orientation, reli-
gion or how much money they
can spend, because they want us
all to be happy, healthy sexual
beings. Whether their guests are
teenagers sheepishly investigat-
ing condoms for the first time,
college students shopping for
cake pans in the shapes of penis-
es, 70 year old couples exploring
lubricants, someone concerned
about his or her HIV status or
pedestrians just coming in to
giggle about furry handcuffs,
Safe Sex Store is meant to be a
venue for open communication,
reliable information and unwav-
ering support.


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