2B - Thursday, September 18, 2014

The Michigan Daily - michigandailycom

The whole
No ketchup on a
hot dog thing

ARTIST AVANTNGARDE

f you go to Amer's Deli
on State Street, you'll
see a poster on the wall
that seems to advertise a movie
about hot dogs. At the bottom of
said poster is
a little box,
where you
would expect
the MPAA
rating to go.
But insteadx
of reading
"Rated R, for GIANCARLO
language and BUONOMO
brief nudity,"
it says "NK-
17- No ketchup unless under 17."
No matter how hard you try, you
can never escape the most perva-
sive rule about food in the United
States: No ketchup on a hot dog.
Ever.
Now, there are innumerable
"rules" concerning certain dishes,
but these are usually a reflection
of regional traditions and tastes.
Texas chili is beanless. Chicago
pizza is deep dish. Most Phila-
delphia purists will insist that a
cheesesteak be made with Cheez
Whiz. The list goes on and on.
In fact, hot dogs are probably
the most region-specific food in
our country. A hot dog from a cart
in Manhattan will be a Sabrett-
brand frank with brown mustard,
stewed onions and tomatoes, and
sauerkraut. In Chicago, it will be
an all-beef Vienna dog in a poppy
seed bun with yellow mustard,
chopped onion, green relish,
pickle spears, sliced tomatoes,
hot peppers and celery salt. Right
here in Michigan, we have Coney
Islands (ground beef chili, yel-
low mustard, onions), the com-
bination whichtfunny enough,
is called in upstate New York a
"Michigan," and in Rhode Island
a "New York System."
Whether it be chili or pizza
or hot dogs, the specifics for
these specialties are often more
positive than negative. In other
words, a certain preparation is
demanded, certain ingredients
must be used, and it must be
eaten in a certain way. Yes, the
differences can seem petty and
even unappetizing - it took rpe
a solid year to transition from
kosher hot dogs with brown
mustard to Coney Islands - but
food is one of the most powerful
sources of regional identity, and

to literallytaste that identity is a
potent experience indeed.
Given all of this regional speci-
ficity, the whole "no ketchup on
a hot dog" thing becomes quite
puzzling. Why? Because "no
ketchup on a hot dog" isn't a
regional taste, but rather a uni-
versal condemnation. One of the
heads of Nathan's Famous Hot
Dogs in NYC referred to putting
ketchup on ahot dog as a sign
of a "less sophisticated" palate.
Superdawg in Chicago is so anti-
ketchup that they refuse to put
it on their dawgs - if you must
violate one of their famous franks
with the goopy red stuff, they'll
give you a packet of it and you can
apply it yourself.
Now if New York and Chicago,
whose hot dog rivalry is the stuff
of legends, independently issue
damning indictments of ketchup,
then that should be a pretty good
indicator of how universally
hated ketchup is by wiener enthu-
siasts. But this universal hatred is
precisely whatis so weird about
ketchup-phobia. When some
variation of a common food is
disliked in one region, it's usually
chalked up to differenceswith
other regions, a sort of "we don't
do 'x,' that's what those other
people do." But as far as I know,
no one puts ketchup on ahot
dog, or should I say, no region
prescribes it. It's as if people
in Boston, New York, Chicago,
Detroit, Los Angeles and pretty
much everywhere else have
created this imaginary region
where everyone slathers their
poor, innocent hot dogs with
evil ketchup.
And since I'm pretty sure
that this Democratic Republic
of Ketchup doesn't exist, we're
left to assume that ketchup on a
hot dog is hated because it's an
intuitively disgusting food pair-
ing, like cinnamon in spaghetti
sauce or blue cheese with choc-
olate syrup. But is it really that
intuitive? Look at the ingre-
dients of the typical hot dog:
ground beef, water, spices and
some preservatives. Look at the
ingredients of ketchup: tomato,
vinegar, sugar and spices. Does
that really sound like such a
bad combination? If it does,
then hamburgers with ketchup
should be disgusting, not to
mention stewed tomatoes and

onions on a hot dog, aila NYC.
Now, I should probably men-
tion at this point that I don't
put ketchup on my hot dogs.
However, I don't put ketchup
on anything, because I hate the
taste of ketchup. I don't put it
on burgers, fries, eggs, corned-
beef hash or anything else. I
just think that in the interest of
honesty, the irrational prohibi-
tion against ketchup on hot dogs
should be exposed for what it is:
an invented rule, proclaimed for
so long, by so many people that
it has become an unimpeach-
able fact. It's as if in Leviticus,
in between the prohibitions
against cloven hooves and mix-
ing fibers, there is a passage
which states "Thou shalt not put
ketchup on thine frankfurter,
for it is an abomination."
So if the "no ketchup on ahot
dog" thing is a fabricated rule,
why was it fabricated in the first
place? Why does Dirty Harry in
"Sudden Impact" tell a detective
that it's not the rampant crime
and corruption that get to him,
it's really "watching you stuff
your face with those hot dogs.
Nobody, I mean NOBODY puts
ketchup on a hot dog."? Why
does Anthony Bourdain, when
guiding a reader to Papaya King
in Manhattan, warn that "if you
put ketchup on your hot dog I
will fucking kill you."?
It's all a sort of elitism. Hav-
ing defined dislikes is often con-
sidered a sign of one's depth of
knowledge. By stating that you
hate country music, you give off
the impression that you know
enough about music to know
what you do and don't like. It's
the same with ketchup.By stat-
ing that putting it on a hot dog is
wrong, you place yourself in this
imaginary in-group of people
who know so much about food
that they are the protectors of
all things proper. But when you
really examine this unques-
tioned rule, you'll realize that
not only does it not make any
sense, but that it also requires
zero knowledge or passion to
adopt. So if you want to, put
ketchup on your hot dog. Deep
down, no one really cares.
Buonomo is chowing down on
a Hebrew National. To join him,
e-mail gbuonomo@umich.edu.

Anya Klapischak goes through the motions of meditation.

By ALEC STERN discover my sense of self."
Senior Arts Editor Klapischak was interested in
discussing her experience at the
For Interarts ' Performance University, but when asked about
senior Anya Klapischak, art her current project, it was as if
isn't just her major. Rather, her the true passion within the artist
work reflects a true passion and was unleashed. In her words, she
dedication, one that's evolved "did alittle experiment,"directing
since she arrived in Ann Arbor for me to close my eyes and hold a
the first time. small, clear crystal. In doing so,
"When I first started out doing I was assisting her in a key piece
performance (art), most of my of research for her Integrative
work was about my problems or Project.
about my illnesses, insecurities "The way that I put it into
and weaknesses,"Klapischak said. words currently is, I'm exploring
"(But) it wasn't actually solving the appearance of spirituality for
any of those problems because our generation; what it looks like
I was still giving enough power when we practice spirituality or
to those problems to make work commit ourselves to some sort of
about it ... instead of channeling seeking," Klapischak said. "I'm
my energy into something new really interested in finding out
and something I would considerto what ties our generation together
be a strength ora positive'thing." in terms of that journey, towards
The kogressionofKlapischak's some sort of enlightenment. And
art is a reflection of the positive my hypothesis is that it is the tie
experiences she's shared with her that binds all of us as we walk and
peers, thoughthat is not to say she live and breath."
hasn't challenged the rigidity of a Spirituality is an integral part
university program. of Klapischak's research and
"I have a hard time with somethingshe connects with very
the culture of any program in personally. But there is another
which it's all focused on this component that has fueled the
individualistic aspect of the art development of her senior project.
where you hole yourself away in "They have a saying about
the studio and you paint furiously ayahuasca: 'You don't find
or you sculpt furiously and it's all ayahuasca, ayahuasca finds you.'
coming from you," Klapischak And I found that to be really true
said. "The solitude and the real last year ... when suddenly I just
loneliness of it is going to prevail came to this point where I thought
the artwork. Which is why I don't the best thing I can do rightnow is
think I'llever be a solo performer." go down to the jungle, drink some
Instead, Klapischak is focused ayahuasca and talk to the Devil.
on continuing to work with And that's what I did."
others, which is something Ayahuasca is a psychedelic
that has remained consistent brewmadefromaSouthAmerican
throughout her career. She thrives jungle vine and a variety of other
when collaborating with as many plants. It releases a large amount
as 15 other people who are equally of DMT in your brain, which for
as committed to the final product Klapischak resulted in "absolutely
as she is. illogical and irrational visions"
"Working in collectives and (her ayahuasca"fireworks").
working in art groups, any sort "That had a really profound
of work with other theater impact on what I was thinking
individuals, that's prime for me about," Klapischak said.
and I think that's where - if there Despite the fact that spirituality
is a self - that's where I started to and her unique experiences, like

the one with ayahuasca, were so
integral to Klapischak's life and
what she does, it took time before
she was readyto integratethe two
in her art.
"When my Integrative Project
professors came at us with the
question of 'What is it you care
about most?' ... it took so many
mental leaps for me to say, 'OK, if
this is the thing I care about most,
what's keeping me from making
work about it?'
Klapischak's exploration
with the drug also forced her to
question-other aspects of society
back home, which too has inspired
aspects of her project.
"I also found myself the entire
time having a sideways glance at
the entire experience, where I
was surrounded by 14 other white
people from the Western World
and I was asking myself, 'What
is happening in where we live
respectively? What are we not
getting from our daily lives that
makes all ofus white people come
down here to the jungle to pay for
this spiritual experience?'
Klapischak views her work as
a series of questions, rather than
a search for definitive answers.
And her experiences, at both
the University and in the jungle,
have informed and guided her
throughout the completion of
her Integrative Project.
"I think that's where this
whole project is going to find its
home ... in this balance between
the serious nature of it, the part
of it that I take so seriously
and will commit my life to,
and also the comedic-nature of
it, where it's like, you know, a
bunch of fucking hipsters from
Brooklyn," Klapischak said.
"Ideally, the comedy of the
entire situation and the comedy
of this entire life will come to
fruition and will be relevant in
this piece."
If you would like to contribute
to Klapischak's research, e-mail
anya.klapischak@gmail.com

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SHORT FILM REVIEW

SINGLE REVIEW

It'sbeen over 10 years since
Beyonce and Jay Z started
messing around with Bonnie
& Clyde
imagery,
but they
seemto B ang Bang
have got- Part 1
ten even Beyonce& JAY-Z
more
enamored Directed by Dikayl
with it Rimmasch
these
last few months. First the on
the Run Tour, then Bey sing-
ing "Bang Bang (My Baby Shot
Me Down)" in the HBO special
trailer, and now this short
film (inexplicably scrubbed
from the Internet not
long-after its release) that
includes every outlaw cliche
in the book.
Beyonce looks fabulous,
made-up and dressed like a
prohibition era jazz singer,
while Hov is still rocking his
Reasonable Doubt look two

Big K.R.I.T.'s latestsingle,
"Drinkers Club" featuring Juicy
J, A$APFerg and Rittz, is exactly
what you
might
imagine
it would Drinker's Club
be. The Big K.R.LT.
track starts Deflam
off with
samplesof bottles being popped
and what the listenercan only
imagine as overflowing glassware,
asample which continues in the
background witha crisp vibrancy
throughoutthe record.
Immediately following this
imagined club scene is Big
K.R.I.Ton the chorus, casu-
ally welcominglisteners "tothe
drinkers club," which smoothly
transitions into hisverse. Con-
tinuing to keep things relatively
slow, BigK.R.I.T's verse is nothing
special, with lines about hoes at
his door and rims spinning on his
whip.
Juicy J's voice is instantly rec-

decades later. They drive
on a desert road, Jay shoots
out a mailbox and later puts
out his cigar on a dude's
hamburger, and then there's
some sexiness while the
credits roll. Instead of dia-
logue, we get music from the
"For A Few Dollars More"
soundtrack.
The black-and-white short
film is apparently part one
of three, compiled from foot-

RoC NATION
age shot during the couple's
last tour. You won't watch it
for the plot, and there aren't
any Jay Z or Beyonce songs,
but sometimes looking styl-
ish is enough for a short
video. Maybe it doesn't merit
multiple views, but Hov and
Yonc6 look amazingly cool;
which is more than enough to
entertain you and hold your
interest for three minutes.
-ADAM THEISEN

ognizable on the song'ssecond
verse. JuicyJkeepstrue to him-
self, rapping aboutthe lean in his
cup and the shawty that wants to
engage in coitus with him. Iswear
there are atleast a couple recycled
lines. The verse mightbe nothing
new for Juicy J,butit fits wellinto
the slow, Southern styletrack.
Rittz provides the standout
verse on the record, with an
aggressive, fast flowthatgets
your head bumping tocthe beat.
Talk of crushed up Xanax bars
and shots of liquor straight out of
the bottle ensue, with some clev-

er lines aboutcbeing far too turnt
to be a designated driver for some
fine ladies thrown in the mix.
A$AP Ferg closes outthe song
with a recognizable, sing-song
verse that is essentially alyri-
calcat-call.Atthe closingofthe
song, Iwas surprised thatit was
a whole four minutes long. it felt
more like two. The verses them-
selves all felt alittle brief, which
mightbethe resultof having rel-
atively little substance. Regard-
less, however, it is still a smooth,
pleasurable song to listen.
-KEN SELANDER

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