2B - Thursday, September 5, 2013

The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com

28 - Thursday, September 5, 2013 The Michigan Daily - michigandailycom

The freshman
guide to good eats
n Ann Arbor

baked.buzzed.bored.
in this series, three daily arts writers in
varying states of mind visit the same
place and write about their experiences.
this week's destination:
Friends Karaoke

4

Welcome to campus,
freshmen. As you
either already know
or are about to find out, Ann
Arbor is one of the greatest col-
lege towns
known to
man; there
are great
shops, great
people, great
events and W
festivals,
great venues, NATHAN
great talent WOOD
and - most
importantly
- great food. Really. There's
so much more than Noodles &
Company, Jimmy John's and
Five Guys Burgers and Fries.
And to prove it, I've compiled
the list below, which I encourage
you to use asa guide as you sam-
ple some of your first restaurants
in this vibrant city of ours.
1. Best Cheap Eat: No Thai!
A favorite of frat stars and
Honors students alike (but
especially frat stars), No Thai!
is the essence of college. The
food is filling and flavorful. The
service is fast. The value is good
and, as an added bonus, the
take-out containers are totally
reusable. Why buy Tupperware
when you can just go to No
Thai!?
2. Best Brunch: Cafe Zola
Here, brunch is modern and
sophisticated yet just a little
"rusty." It's full of character
and rough around the edges in a
somehow-chic way. The crepes
are classic, the waffle creations
inventive and the omelettes
worth waking up early, though
everything here's a safe bet. My
go-to is the salmon hash with
horseradish cream sauce topped
with over-easy eggs.
3. Best Grab-N-Go: Oasis
Mediterranean Grill
This joint is a fantastic place
to get lunch to-go. The menu is
full of options, most of which
I find to be pretty healthy and
fairly inexpensive. You can't go

wrong with a falafel or chicken
shawarma wrap. And to drink?
Three-dollar smoothies. Oh,
yes.
4. Best Post-Party Grub: BTB
Everything here is greasy,
carb-laden and cheap, exactly
what you'll want after a night
painting the town red. Thanks
to the advice of a wise senior
who came before me, I always
get the $4.25 grilled chicken
quesadilla, but the burritos are
obviously most popular (BTB
does stand for Big Ten Burrito,
after all).
5. Best Outdoor Seating: Palio
This may seem frivolous, but
there just really is something
extra relaxing about eating
outside. Here, not only can you
eat outside, but you can also eat
outside on the roof. There aren't
many places in Ann Arbor that
give you this option unfortu-
nately, so be sure to make a trip
out to Main Street to experience
it while the weather's still nice.
From brunch to
BTB, the most
delicious treats
A2 offers.
6. Best Sushi: Saica
There are plenty of closer
places at which you can feed
your addiction to this Japanese
treat, but I'm a firm believer in
not wasting your time on medi-
ocre sushi. The seaweed salad,
anything tempura and specialty
rolls here are all excellent.
Bonus: free delivery on orders
over $20!
7. Best Greasy Eat: Frita
Batidos
I'm kind of obsessed with this
Cuban spot just off Main Street.
The name comes from its classic
offerings: fritas (Cuban burg-

ers served with shoestring fries
on top) and batidos (refreshing
smoothie-milkshake hybrids).
Order the classic chorizo frita
with your choice of toppings
(mine is muenster, thick-cut
bacon, avocado spread and a
sunny-side-up egg) and a coco-
nut cream batido for a meal
you'll never forget.
8. Best Lunch Spot: babo
At this pay-by-the-pound deli
counter, you can rest assured
that you're in for an exceptional
lunch. With a variety of fresh
and creative salads, pressed
sandwiches and funky-cool
drinks, you'll never run out of
new things to try. Seating is lim-
ited, but classy and casual out
on the patio.
9. Best Place to Use Blue
Bucks: Ahmo's Gyros & Deli
The newest addition to the
Michigan Union, Ahmo's is a
demanding presence in the com-
petitive student-lunch market.
The staff is speedy, and the chick-
en gyros plentiful. The battered
fries are succulent any time of
day and the wild berry smooth-
ies just waiting to be made. And,
I mean,you've gotta spend those
Blue Bucks somewhere!
10. Best Everything Ever:
Sav's
There aren't enough posi-
tive adjectives in the English
language for me to adequately
describe Sava's, so just trust me
and go try it for yourself. Some
of the best things I've had here
include the asparagus-and-goat
cheese omelette, spinach dip,
chicken saltimbocca, pan-seared
sea scallops and the ham, spin,
brie, pear panini. The Sunday
brunch buffet? To die for.
With this list in tow, grab a
couple of friends, #exploreA2
and get to eating! That fresh-
man 15 isn't going to put itself
on, you know.
Wood is devouring a panini
from Sava's. To join, e-mail
nisaacw@umich.edu

dE
0m


Yo. SHIT WENT DOWN TONIGHT, MAN. I show up to S.C's place
with Morgana, and we roll into this tight-ass basement in the ground.
THERE ARE BOOKS EVERYWHERE. I'm absorbing the knowledge
through my eyes. HOLD UP. We're on a porch now and M.E. texts me.
What does everyone want to drink? I WANT TO DRINK THE MOON,
SON. BRING ME THE LIQUOR STORE, SON. Next thing I know,
D.Panda rolls in with M.E. and I lose it. They didn't bring the moon.
WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT SKYLER WHITE?
Friends Karaoke is HERE. I go up the stairs and I think I see the
Devil, but at this point, I'm like fuck it, we #rideordie tonight, bitches,
because I #cantstop. Warm smell of colitas rising up through the air.
Rrraaaaaaadddiooooo Heeeeaaaaaaddd. I fist pump with Morgana and
D.Panda to some Fitty, but then I realize that life is so meaningful that I
have to sit down for a moment. I take a picture of this madness and send
it to K.S.P. WHY AREN'T U HERE, BITCH?? He asks me to "rank Tits,
Nuggets, Ass."
AND I'M LIKE, "1 Ass 2 Nuggets 3 Tits. DUH."
"What would you do ifa naked Lena Dunham showed up at your door?"
AND I'M LIKE, "JUZT SAY NO."
The videos at Friends Karaoke are so fucking random and have noth-
ing to do with the song. THERE IS A DUDE FLYING IN CALIFORNI-
FICATION. That's some existential-level shit, kids. But Friends Karaoke
also got your back, you know? There is a dude outside CONSTANTLY
watching the door to make sure the fuzz don't take me. The room is so
dark and the couch is like the warm, soft hand of God. I wanna live on
that hand. I scream something about being wasted and pass out.
- DAILY ARTS WRITER
The songs that make it glorious are never the good songs. No one sings
Radiohead. No one wants to hear that tasteful Led Zeppelin lullaby. Sing
karaoke like you're a one-man opera, and if you're not actively attempt-
ing to make fun of yourself, the booze will take care of that for you, no
worries. Destroy your secret favorites, destroy your favorite secrets,
bond over the mutual giggling shame. You like REO Speedwagon? So the
fuck doI! Duet me, baby. I just want to add, as an addemdum, that in our
Friends sesh, I absolutely smashed my rendition of Hilary Duff's mag-
num opus.
Friends is all about looking backward and also looking forward. Going
back, back to the beginning, back to when the earth, the sun, the stars
were all aligned, and reliving the past in new time. It's about washing
away your sanity.
Stop trying to fit a square into a circle, that's no life. You have to defy
the compulsion to run screaming from the embarrassment. You have to
find a pigment of truth beneath your skin. Because you want to feel the
thunder, you want to scream. Karaoke is all about that, starting again,
coming clean. M
Friends teaches you, in baby steps and huge handles of alcohol that,
wait, dear lord how did we drink all of that how are we still alive what
the jesus, that you really can trust your friends. They won't attack you
when you show them what you really are, and what you really like.
They'll be right there, singing their heads off with you and for you. Being
fools together, that's what Friends is, and it's what friends are.
-NOAH COHEN
I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I'm crowded into the
corner of a sticky leather couch, watching D.Panda attempt to spoon a
puddle of Ben & Jerry's ice cream into his mouth. And I'm at a karaoke
lounge. Sober.
Karma is real.
Vengeful, I slip the carton from Panda's hands, hand him a micro-
phone and hope - in my own sober amusement - that maybe he'll try to
eat that, too. But he doesn't notice, so I paw at what's left of Liz Lemon
(Daily Arts has good taste in TV and dairy treats), praying that no one's
found their way to Don Mclean's eight-minute "American Pie." To take
advantage of my unaffected sense of good judgment, I pull my phone
from my purse. Say cheese, bitches.
Because this piece is only 200 words, and a picture is worth so much
more, the rest of my sobery-soberiffic-sobertastic night can be described
by a series of photos: past, current and future editors lined up like a shit-
faced family of Russian nesting dolls; a blossoming bromance huddled
around a microphone; fists and bottles raised to rock music as we stum-
ble over verses in "Mr. Brightside"; that one writer going solo because,
dude, nobody else knows that song, hurryup. And many more too incrim-
inating for publication in a newspaper. Or on Facebook, for that matter.
Until I'm 21 and can party like it's, accordingto our musical selection,
2005, let's stick to our day jobs. All right, guys?
- BRIANNE JOHNSON


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