8A - Wednesday, November 20, 2013a
IliThe filet mignon
Schunk music

The Michigan Daily - michigandaily.com

0

j Beef Hutchins give me a piggy back." Rath-
er than begging for his piggy
releases debut back, he lets it ultimately be the
decision of the potential piggy-
album back-giver if he gets a piggy

By KATIE STEEN
Daily Music Editor
F Twenty-five years. It has been
25 years that Beef Hutchins and
his band of ham-lovers have been
. working on their debut album.
w 4Twenty-five years we've been
'waiting to feast our ears on some
recordedBeef,listeningtoendless
M teasers on Easy Listening 101.8
the Tip. And believe me when I
'say that it's been worth the wait.
You're gonna wanna tear this
'album up like a goddamned corn
on the cob.
For you spineless chodes
who are unfamiliar with the
sweet, sweet melodies of Mr.
* Hutchins, Beef is a dad and musi-
cal artist who has been making
-quality dance-slash-soft-rock-
slash-chunk music in his sedan in
:Albany, NY since the late eighties.
In an interview with the Michi-
*gan Daily, Beef explained the
:hardships of recording in a sedan.
" "We would record one instru-
:ment at a time because that's all
that fit," he said. "It takes a while.
S* 'In '98, we got a hatchback - oth-
;erwise, it still wouldn't be done."
* 'Now, finally, he has bestowed
-upon the world his LP, Firehorses,
and I think I speak for all of us
*}when I say, thank God for that
; hatchback.
- Firehorses opens with "Piggy
Back," a track that, underneath
R its funky overtones, speaks of
+'deep yearning for a piggy back.
'It's clear that Beef is trying to
mask some deep insecurity in
'this track
swith the First seen on
lyrics, "If F
you want, he fiter

back or not. The track features
the velvety vocals of rap sensa-
tion Mool P. Sanders ("The cool-
est kid in school," according to
Beef), who spits out rhymes
about things we all can agree
upon such as piggy backs and
cheese. The song ends with a
frantic repetition of the chorus,
demonstrating just how desper-
ate poor Beef is for his piggy
back. It ends with a tortured
"Aaoowwww," leaving listeners
to wonder, did he ever get his
piggy back?
The album's tone brightens
somewhat in the subsequent
track, "How Beautiful I've
Become," in which Beef admires
his flawless looks, singing, "I'm
peeeeeerfect." When asked
how he became so beautiful,
Beef explained, "How? I don't
know. I became this beautiful in
1995." The track eventually cul-
minates in impeccable, intense
falsetto and a sax that takes it
away in a warm, smooth solo
oozing with the love of one's
own good looks.
And the good mood contin-
ues in "Ham!" - a faster, upbeat
track that doles out much-
deserved praise for the beloved
processed pork foodstuff. Much
like in "Piggy Back," Beef
emotes intense yearning for
ham, singing, "Oh baby, gimme
ham gimme ham gimme ham
gimme ham!" Firehorses is an
album that craves and desires,
and Beef is a man on a mission
for fulfillment. While many lis-
teners undoubtedly will wonder
why Beef chose to sing about
ham rather than everyone's
favorite Greek protein source
Chobani, Beef's decision to

praise ham shows that he's not
afraid to take a risk every now
and then - to be a little edgy.
But Firehorses doesn't take
itself too seriously in its long-
ings. Take the hit single, "Party
Shart," for instance. It's an
explosive track full of shimmer-
ing synths that prove the eight-
ies ain't dead yet. This is the
anthem for partying until you
shart. Move over, old anthem
for partying until you shart -
there's a new track in town! Get
ready to hear this song at all the
cool college parties - this is a
bumping track that will have
you running for the bathroom.
It's a FUN TRACK.
And Beef isn't afraid to
explore topics of sexuality in his
tunes. Whether it's the pleasant,
sing-songy track, "Quit Lezzin'
Around," the loud and proud
"I'm Bi" or the sweet and senti-
mental "Your Big Purple," Beef
is a man who lets it all hang out.
In "I'm Bi," Beef allows his father
to guest-sing as they proclaim
their sexual orientation - "I'm
bi, so is my dad / I'm his dad, and
I am bi / I'm bi, me and my dad /
We're two bi guys, give us a try!"
"I'm Bi" is filled with flourishes
of saxophone and funky guitar
that really do make you want to
give Beef and his dad a try. In
"Your Big Purple," the "big pur-
ple" thing in question is actually
a cooter - "It's so good for me,"
Beef croons. This muff-centered
melody expresses a wide variety
of emotion, from disdain for fruit
leather, to lush praise for purple
coot.
Firehorses ends on a poignant
note with the track "Chubby Boy,"
filled with rich orchestral harmo-
nies and weighty piano as Beef
details his history with a certain
chubby boy. "Do you remember,"
Beef asks, "When we were rid-
ing in the back of the bus / And
the driver went over a bump and
our butts went off the seat? / I
realized you didn't get quite as
much air / The other kids made
fun of you / But of course I didn't
care." This track features a sad
yet seductive electric guitar solo,
and the feeling of yearning that
permeated the beginning of Fire-
horses returns in "Chubby Boy"
as Beef wonders in his raspy, ach-
ingly earnest voice where his dear
chubby boy went off to. Clocking
in at almost five and a half min-
utes, this song is definitely the
longest on the album, and it seems
like a strange choice to end Fire-
horses on such a morose note.
But I'm not beefin' you.
Firehorses will bake your ziti.
It will make you drop trou. It
will make your crab rangoons
double - nay, triple - in size. It
will make you so excited you'll
have a horse baby on your din-
ing room table. It will boost
your cul-de-sac cred by twenty
percent. Listen, all I have to
say is, Yanni's got some serious
competition.
- An original version of this
article was published on the
Daily Arts blog, the Filter on
Nov. 11.

0

Geek is the new chic.
Be a part of the 'eeks'

TO DAY'S
BEST DEALS,
ALL/IN ONE
PLACE.
SAVNGC you MONVAND TIME TO CRA..

By CHLOE GILKE Francis Daley, "Bones") is a
DailyArts Writer high school freshman whose big
dreams belie his small stature.
"Freaks and Geeks" only He has a crush on the most pop-
aired 18 episodes during its ular girl in school and suffers
tragically brief run, but with through weeks of physical bul-
the cult following and universal lying and cruel teasing to make
praise the show has amassed, high school a fun place for him-
it's surprisingly relevant. Try self and his "uncool" friends.
asking any TV or comedy fan The "Freaks" of the show's
to list his or her favorite short- title are played by such recog-
lived show or bring up James nizable faces as Franco, Seth
Franco ("This is the End") in Rogen ("This is the End") and
conversation. Chances are the Jason Segel ("How I Met Your
person will rate "F&G" with Mother"),but the real star of the
classics like "Twin Peaks" or freak gang is Kim Kelly (Busy
"Firefly," or be quick to remind Philipps, "Made in Cleveland").
you that Franco got his big She's low-class (both in terms
break on the humble little net- of wealth and morals), confron-
work show. Although "F&G" tational and unabashedly rude.
was given the short shrift by In the first episode of the show,
NBC (it moved time slots a few she knocks Lindsay's backpack
times before the network can- to the floor for no apparent rea-
celled it after just 12 episodes), son, and she takes an entire four
it's been given new life (and a episodes to really warm up to
whole new audience) through Lindsay. But despite her harsh
Netflix and the magic of free demeanor, Kim is surprisingly
internet streaming. sympathetic. She has a difficult
"F&G" follows the Weir sib- family life, and her relationship
lings, who live in early 1980s with Franco's Daniel Desario
suburban Michigan. Lindsay isn't as casual and trouble-free
(Linda Cardellini, "Mad Men"), as it might seem. And when Kim
the older sister, is a former and Lindsay finally do become
mathlete and goody-goody friends? Kim's humor and abun-
whose disillusionment after her dant sass balance out Lindsay's
grandmother's death draws her reserve and obedience, and
to the rocker/stoner/burnout you'll essentially forget those
crowd. three seconds you hated Kim.
Her broth- First seen on Let Kim be an example of
er, Sam, character development on this
(John -the filter show. Put simply, it's awesome.

Daniel is mysterious and misun-
derstood (think of a punk James
Dean) and fellow "Freak" Nick
(Segel) is clueless and endear-
ing (at least at first). But it's the
"Geeks" who really steal the
show. Sam's friends Bill (Mar-
tin Starr, "Knocked Up") and
Neal (Samm Levine, "Inglouri-
ous Basterds") provide constant
laughs and cringes. Neal is a
budding comedian who thinks
he's funnier than he actually
is, and Bill is gawky and never
afraid to speak his mind. How-
ever, in true "F&G" style, each
also has his own tragic story-
line. Neal's parents' marriage is
strained and he must cope with
being in the middle of it all, and
Bill's mom dates his P.E. teacher
(every nerd's worst nightmare).
It's time for
you to revisit
this one-season
wonder.
But even with all the big
moments the show covers, the
little stuff is perhaps the most
memorable. Only "F&G" could
pull off a scene where a char-
acter eats a grilled cheese sand-
wich and laughs at the TV and
literally make me have to click
pause so I could cry for 15 min-
utes. (Don't ask me whether they
were tears of joy or sadness. To
be honest, I still don't know the
answer.) And the best comedic
moments are minor ones, too:
Bill's horrible dancing/flailing
limbs, Neal as the school mascot,
Sam's inability to point out the
parts of the female anatomy on
a diagram that apparently looks
like something out of "Alien."
With repeated viewing, you'll
discover even more hilarious
jokes that you probably missed
the first time.
"Freaks and Geeks" is a
delight to watch. Let the next
episode play automatically on
Netflix and you're guaranteed
another hour that will make you
laugh, cry and reminisce about
your own crappy high school
experience. And the best part?
You can borrow Neal's jokes
and use them in conversation
with your friends. They'll prob-
ably know exactly what you're
talking about! That is, if you've
chosen wisely and hang with the
"Geek" crowd, of course.
- An original version of this
article was published on the Daily
Arts blog, the Filter on Nov. 11.

S

It

1